CHAPTER SEVENTY
Safe Harbor
"Miss Davis?" It was the launch captain. "Excuse me, but I just wanted to inquire if you'll be returning to Windermere tonight?"
"I.. I'm not really sure yet." Alexis said. "Would you give me a few moments to decide?"
"Of course." the captain replied. Seeing that she wanted her privacy, he informed Alexis that he would wait for her answer onboard and withdrew as quickly and as courteously as he could.
Should she return to Windermere? It would be more efficient for her to work from there, true enough. But could she be there all alone? Nikolas and Kristina were gone and Stefan... Stefan was... A shiver went through her as long denied tears flooded into her eyes. She'd done as Stefan wanted, putting the plan into motion as he had instructed so many years before, but one she had never really believed that she would be called on to implement. Never so soon as this. Going through the motions had allowed her to retreat, to run from the pain of it all… but she'd stopped running. And now the heart-wrenching sense of her loss hit her again, as it had so many times already, and her body trembled with the pain. She was alone as she had never been before… The coldness flooding through her had nothing to do with the weather.
Then a comforting warmth settled on her shoulders. Alexis turned her head and met Sonny's eyes. She could only stare at him, her throat too tight with grief to speak.
Sonny looked at Alexis, lost for words as he saw the devastation in her eyes. He spent the night roaming around Port Charles, looking everywhere he'd thought Alexis might have fled to. The park, the penthouse, her office, the Grille, even Luke's place. He'd come to the docks earlier tonight but something had drawn him back…and Sonny breathed a silent thanks to whatever had drawn him back.
When the fog had come up, he had faltered, suddenly despairing that he would find her. Or that she would want to be found. Especially by him. But Sonny couldn't help himself. Even if she damned him a thousand times over, all that mattered to him was to see her, to know that she was safe. All that mattered to Sonny was that he had to find her. He'd been prepared to search all night if he that was what it would take, to walk every street in Port Charles to find her.
Walking the length of the pier, his heart had literally leapt in his chest as he recognized her figure standing at the railing. Even as he approached her though, he could see Alexis' body shaking. All of his own fears disappeared and without thinking, he ripped his own coat off and went to her.
Sonny had laid his coat over her shoulders. Not daring for more, he allowed his hands to curve over her shoulders – just a feather of a touch, if only to reassure himself that she was real. Even if in the next second, Alexis turned to him with hate in her eyes, at least he knew that she was here. His hands trembled as she turned to face him.
Sonny forced himself to look into her eyes. And what he saw, the pain, the loss, the utter devastation Alexis tried so hard to hide stole the breath from his body and took away his ability to speak. All thoughts of his own concerns fell away and Sonny opened his arms.
Without thinking, Alexis came into his embrace.
"Alexis…" Sonny held her tightly, murmuring her name over and over into the soft masses of her hair. Without him realizing it, he began to rock her in his arms.
After a moment of forever, Sonny pulled back, just enough to look into Alexis' face. The grief in her eyes was like a knife in his chest. He lifted one hand, and tenderly brushed back a damp tendril of hair from her face. "Alexis, I'm so sorry…"
In a wordless response, blindly seeking a respite from her pain, Alexis lifted her lips to his. Sonny felt her need and met her halfway. They came together, each seeking and finding warmth, comfort and love.
His first thirst for her barely quenched for the moment, Sonny's mouth rained a storm of tiny kisses along the soft planes of her face, kissing the traces of tears away, tasting the soft saltiness of them on his own lips. He found himself whispering words that he knew to be true, but that he'd never thought he have the courage to speak. "I was so afraid for losing you." He whispered between his kisses. "So afraid you would look at me with hatred in your eyes, or fear because now you would see what I really am…." All of his fears were tumbling free. He couldn't help himself… the words came out whether he would or not. "I thought I had lost you, that maybe you had left me forever… I'm sorry this happened…forgive me… forgive me…please Alexis, forgive me…"
And Sonny wasn't ashamed when his tears mingled with hers.
Alexis felt herself melt into Sonny's embrace, felt his strength enfolding her, she was barely aware of his words as first, but only took comfort in the sound of his voice and the feel, the realness, the very life in him that clung to her and helped take the pain of Stefan's death away – even if only for this brief moment. His hands traced over her face, and she could feel the warmth of his fingertips… alive...alive… her soul whispered to her… Alexis didn't realize when it was that she began answering him…matching him embrace for embrace, tender kiss for tender kiss, caress for caress…and truth – she began to realize - for truth.
"I wasn't thinking… I just ran… it hurt… it hurt so much… I just ran away... not from you but from myself…" As she spoke to him, her words intermingling with the kisses she was returning, Alexis realized that she didn't have to shoulder this burden all alone, she'd found her safe harbor. But what had she done? She hadn't trusted in him, in their love to shelter her. How could she have been so utterly blind? "I'm so sorry, Sonny… I should have trusted in you, trusted in us. I shouldn't have closed myself off from you… and I never meant to hurt you so…"
That her heart could think and feel for his, even now, was a discovery that exploded in Sonny's heart. His mouth found hers once more, and in that moment, the bond that had been growing between them, strengthened. The kiss became more than a kiss. Sonny and Alexis spoke without words, with nothing less than their hearts and souls and each one knew the thoughts of the other, without a need to speak of it any longer. As one, they turned and walked away towards the waiting limo.
Tomorrow, Alexis might feel the need to return to Windermere. But not tonight, tonight she would go home, home to her safe harbor, home where her heart called her to be.
And so Sonny and Alexis returned to the Towers in that same strangely new but at the same time oddly familiar state of being. The ride home and even the ride in the elevator to the penthouse level had been uneventful, mostly silent but as loving as an embrace or the deepest kiss. All that was needed was a touch, a glance, or a smile. It was more than enough between them.
Sonny's hand brushed against hers as Alexis fitted her key into the lock. Their fingers entwined briefly as they stepped into the apartment. Sonny stood by the door, watching Alexis as she walked into the room.
Alexis wasn't really seeing the apartment; she was remembering Stefan there. The desk, brought with her from New York City, many were the nights she had sat there, Stefan hovering at her shoulder as they had gone over papers planning for Nikolas' eventual inheritance and rule. There were gifts and trinkets scattered around the room and more, she knew, upstairs, that reminded her of her life before she'd come to Port Charles, the life she spent in the Cassadine employ, the life she had lived, all due to Stefan. If not for him, he might not have even lived at all…
She shivered and Sonny was there instantly, by her side.
"What is it?" he asked softly.
"There's so much of my life before I came to Port Charles here. So much of my life with Stefan." Alexis tried to explain. She picked up a smallish deeply reddish- golden ovoid paperweight. She held it up and Sonny could see a butterfly embedded in it.
"This is a piece of Baltic amber." She explained.. "It's actually a very old piece... a fossil. I didn't know that when Stefan gave it to me of course. It was when I had first been brought to the Island." She tried for a smile bravely, but her lips trembled in spite of herself.
"Barely anyone noticed me, and when I was noticed, well, let's just say it was known that I was more or less just another burden, a little nothing that much fuss was not to be made over. But Stefan cared. He cared enough to go out of his way to be kind to me. I was in my rooms one day, missing my mother and my life so very much, and Stefan came in. He knocked first, of course. Stefan always had the most beautiful manners. He said he had a secret to show me…and after offering me his arm, as though I were a great lady and not a little nothing – he took me to this wonderful room filled with so many fascinating things. And one of them was this. He taught me what amber was…it was his first lesson…and it became his first present to me…" Alexis began to cry again… silent tears welled out of her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. "So many things here remind me of him, of us… I can't stay here tonight." She said suddenly.
"Then don't." Sonny said. He recognized the fact that he had to let Alexis find her own way to deal with her grief, but this much he could do for her. He could help her with the pain for this one night, at least. He placed his arm around her shoulders. "Stay with me tonight. You don't have to be alone."
The phone on her desk rang then. Alexis automatically moved towards it, but Sonny stopped her.
"It could be Nikolas."
"He would call your cell phone. Whoever – whatever else it is – can wait. Come home with me, Alexis"
She couldn't deny the appeal in his eyes. Alexis let Sonny lead her back across the hall.
The phone rang once then a second time before it was answered.
"Is she devastated?"
"Difficult to say - she's been unreachable."
"How so?"
"You're seldom pleased by conjectures."
"Indulge me this once."
"Very well. Before contact could be made, Sonny Corinthos appeared. It was a very touching, very loving scene. But yes, I would say that Alexis Davis is certainly distressed by Stefan's demise."
"A touching scene? Who would have thought that the little mouse was capable of inspiring such devotion?" A heartless chuckle followed after the call was ended. "Interesting." The caller murmured to herself.
