CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE
Dark Dreams
It was hours before Alexis finally fell into a troubled doze.
After returning to Sonny's penthouse, Sonny had offered her food or drink, but Alexis numbly refused. So instead, he had led her silently upstairs to his bedroom. Hand in hand they entered, but when Sonny had paused by the wall switch to turn on a light, but a whispered plea from Alexis halted his hand midway to the switch.
"Sonny, no…don't." she whispered. A quick glance into her eyes and Sonny understood instantly. Light would only harshen reality for her and what Alexis wanted – needed - was a respite from that, even if it were only for a little while. He squeezed her hand in comfort and understanding, even as he thought to himself that this was not the Alexis he was used to. The woman he knew, the woman he loved, faced things head on – it wasn't in her to not to. Sonny began to realize just how devastating a loss her brother was to her. A fresh swell of guilt poured through him. He would find out who was behind this uncalled-for attack…
But right now, his focus had to stay on Alexis. Still holding her by the hand, Sonny led her to his bed, then drew her into his arms. She came to him like a child, curling up against him and resting her head against him. He held her close, feeling her tremble in silent grief, inwardly cursing whatever fates had brought her to this. Sonny wanted to believe that his being there to hold her was some small comfort to her, even though he knew that nothing could truly lessen her sorrow. At least she hadn't pushed him away. He clung to that thought for the tiny mercy it brought to him.
Inch by merciful inch, Alexis relaxed into sleep. Sonny's arms tightened around her, one hand coming up to stroke her hair lightly. But when he would have at last fallen asleep himself, Alexis jerked awake, sitting up with a sharp cry of terror.
"Stefan!"
Sonny sat up besides her and was startled as Alexis turned towards him and he saw the fear in her eyes. Sonny reached for her, but the look in her eyes froze him in his tracks. Pupils dilated, blind with fear… he'd never seen her look like this, the frightened little Natasha that Alexis had told him about once upon a time, was looking at him. She was afraid of him. Inside, his soul shivered and he died a little.
Then, with her next words, he realized that she was still sleeping but not asleep, caught midway between dreaming and wakefulness and not seeing him at all.
"Stefan!" Alexis cried again. "Where are you? It's so dark… No.. I can't – I can't find you…"
Sonny took her by her arms and shook her as softly as he could. She was lost in her dreams, and her dreams were so dark… Sonny called her name softly. "Alexis, no… Stefan – Stefan is gone." He said it as gently as he could, but Alexis pulled away.
"He's not gone…he's hurt, and alone but he's not gone… He needs me – I can feel it!." She stared at Sonny for a moment longer without recognition, then Alexis shuddered one last time as her eyes slowly cleared. "Stefan…" her voice dropped to a broken whisper and she slowly brought her hands up to her face and began to sob helplessly.
Sonny took Alexis into his arms once again and without words, urged her to lay down beside him. His heart ached for her as Sonny felt her pain. Unable to do anything else, he slipped one hand beneath her chin, lifting her face to his. Sonny touched his lips to hers, cradling her gently as her lips clung to his.
When the kiss was ended, Alexis lay her head on his chest. "He..he was the first man I ever loved." She whispered the words so softly that Sonny wasn't sure that he had heard her right. And when he did recognize what she had said, his heart bled for her all over again.
They lay quietly, without words between them, letting the quiet of the night envelope them. Eventually her body relaxed. Sonny cradled her, unwilling to leave her, hoping that his arms around her gave her the security and comfort she needed to rest. During that long space of silence, they didn't speak, although Sonny could tell that Alexis was wide awake. From time to time, she shuddered but didn't speak. But eventually, those moments began to come with less and less frequency and at last, sheer exhaustion claimed her and drew her down into some semblance of sleep.
When her breathing had slowed and deepened, Sonny laid Alexis down oh so carefully, as though she weighed no more than a dove's feather and as though she were just as fragile; he brought her head to rest gently against the pillows. Soft shadows of grief lay beneath her closed eyelids and Sonny ached to reach out and brush them away. But he worried that the slightest touch would bring her back to consciousness. And he wanted her to sleep; at least sleep would keep the grief away, even if it was only for a short time.
And for her to sleep meant it would be better that he didn't disturb her at all. With that thought in mind, Sonny glanced off to one side; there was a plush armchair nearby. Sonny slipped silently from the bed to pull it near, prepared to watch over her the rest of the night. Before he sat, though, another thought came to him. When Alexis awoke, God willing, it would be morning. And the last thing she would need is to have to go back to her apartment to be battered with memories of her brother all over again. It would have to be done sooner or later, he realized, but Sonny would do his best to postpone that fresh grief as long as he could.
Sonny knelt down beside the bed, his eyes studying Alexis intently. He was relieved to see that her breathing was deep and serene at last. Exhaustion had claimed her to the point of dreamless sleep – or so he hoped. Earlier, every time she'd drifted off, Alexis had awoken with a jerk, as though a new memory had struck her heart with a fresh pain. Her beautiful eyes had been clouded with a depth of pain that Sonny couldn't ever remember seeing in them before, and his heart and soul had burned with a sense of helplessness that was totally unfamiliar to him. But she had burrowed into his arms and he held her tight, determined to shield her from what hurt that he could. Hopefully, Alexis would rest now and never notice he was gone. He'd just slip across the hall to her apartment and gather up the few things that she would need.
He bent over her to check a final time; his hand hovered over her head, allowing himself just the tiniest caress of fingertips against the silky strands of her hair. A feather-touch and nothing more, afraid of waking her, but unable to leave her without any touch at all.
Johnny was at his post. He watched as his boss closed the door with extra care, understanding at once the reason why. Even though the door was shut, unconsciously, the bodyguard lowered his own voice. "How is she?"
Sonny's eyes went back to the door, as though he were seeing her asleep in his bed. "She's finally sleeping. For how long, I don't know." He turned back to Johnny. "Tonight, she is my first priority – my only priority. But tomorrow I am going looking for some answers. I'm going to find out who did this to her."
Johnny saw the intensity in Sonny's eyes and nodded. Whoever had done this had made a huge mistake. This wasn't about business as usual for Sonny Corinthos. Whoever had engineered the bombing had made this personal. And they were going to pay. With interest, Johnny thought as he watched Sonny cross the hall to Alexis' apartment.
Once inside, Sonny went upstairs, feeling strangely like an intruder as he paused at the threshold of Alexis' bedroom. Taking a deep breath and reminding himself that he was there for her sake, no matter if uninvited, he stepped in.
Turning on a lamp that sat near the door, he felt Alexis' presence surround him. The first thing that assailed his senses was the scent of her; the light and slightly sweet gardenia fragrance lingered in this room and her presence, the presence Sonny was used to, was everywhere. Practicality and sensuousness mingled in equal parts throughout the room.
A quick check of her bureau found Alexis' intimate apparel. Damping down fresh feelings of invasion, he collected them, then moved on quickly to select a robe and a change of clothes.
Sonny returned downstairs, and paused while he rearranged his findings in his arms. His eyes went to her desk. A few folders were scattered across the top, and her briefcase stood beside it on the floor. Knowing Alexis the way that he did, Sonny guessed that she would do her best to use her work as a way of dealing with her pain. Not as a crutch, but as a means to keep herself on an even keel. So, he reasoned, bingeing her most current files to her, along with her briefcase and laptop, would be one more way to keep her from having to come back to her own apartment to face more memories.
"I know you'll do it soon enough." Sonny murmured to himself as he crossed the room to her desk. He laid her clothes down on the back of the chair, and began gathering up her files. "Especially because you couldn't face things last night. I know you'll go back and face your demons head-on, because you can't do anything else. You're not going to run, you're not going to hide, just like I know you'll do your best to keep me from protecting you. But if this will protect you for even one minute more, then it's worth it."
Unknowingly, he smiled a bit to himself as he began to gather the folders together. From long habit, he found himself shuffling them into alphabetical order as he placed them into Alexis' briefcase. "….Chicago, Daniels, Lane, Slater & Co….Whiteville. The last one caught his eye. "Whiteville…?" Why did that sound familiar? Sonny frowned. Something told him that he should recognize the name, but it rang no bells.
Before he could chase that thought down, the phone rang. Sonny looked at the caller ID and frowned to see Jax's name and number flashing. Then the answering machine kicked in and Jax began to speak, his tone tight with tension and worry.
"Alexis…Alexis? It's me. Honey, I don't want to bother you, I swear. I won't even come over if you don't want… it's just the thought of you there, alone. I can't stop worrying about you. I just want to make sure that you're all right. In spite of my first instincts to rush over, I didn't
"I know the PCPD is looking at Sonny..but what if it was Helena going after Stefan… I can't get that thought out of my head, and now I'm worried that she might be coming after you too. I know that I'm not going to get any sleep at all until I hear from you." There was no denying the pure worry in Jax's voice. "Alexis, just pick up the phone and let me know that you're okay….Alexis…. please."
Not knowing why he did it even as he was doing it, Sonny snatched the receiver up before the other man could hang up. "She's all right." He growled into the phone.
"Sonny?" Jax's voice was incredulous. Sonny was feeling pretty much the same.
'She's had a rough night, and it was hard for her to get there - but she's sleeping now."
There was a significant silence on the other end of the line. "Why are you telling me this, Sonny?"
"She wouldn't want you worrying."
"But since when do you care, whether I worry or not, Sonny?"
"I don't. But what's important to Alexis, is important to me..." Now it was Sonny's turn for a long silence. And then- "You're important to her."
"Thank you." Jax hesitated. "I realize that you're important to her, too. So I'm glad you're there for her. Take care of her, Corinthos."
An unfamiliar emotion made its way through Sonny; something that he didn't want to examine too closely. "I gotta get back to Alexis." He said shortly; hanging up before Jax could answer.
