Warnings: Cursing


Lucky Child

Chapter 06:

"Finally, I Found You"


That night, I fell asleep thinking of Kid-Kuwabara's gleaming smile.

Once the darkness of sleep descended, I dreamed of a different child—one with whom I was much less familiar.

In fact, I didn't recognize the child who appeared between the shards of my dreams to stand before me at all. Like, at all, at all. I had never seen his face before. But he looked up at me with a grin to rival Kuwabara's, with gleaming blue eyes and a mop of pale pink hair the exact shade of the sakura blossoms I'd seen on the playground earlier that day. This boy looked…lit from within. Not that that makes sense. His eyes were like the sea at high noon when you're scuba diving and staring up at the surface, sunlight filtering through water, brushing your face with warmth.

His eyes sparkled when he said: "Finally. I found you."

He had a voice like coins clinking in a purse. He seemed quite a bit shorter than me, despite us looking about the same age, but his voice sounded authoritative despite its high, chirping pitch. Not like a kid at all.

"Um," I said.

"I've been looking for you for a long time," the boy continued. His eyes nearly squeezed shut when he smiled. "You were following the rules so well, I couldn't see the truth inside you. Made you impossible to locate. The others appeared much faster, for the record. But the moment you broke enough rules, the tapestry lit up like fireworks on a summer night—and poof! There you were."

"The tapestry?" I asked.

He smiled harder, breezy. "Oh, don't worry about it."

This dream was super weird. Where was I, even? Looking around, the kid and I stood on a vast plane of…nothing. Sort of grey-blue absence-of-everything in all directions. But we each cast a star of shadows, like something lit us harshly from above, so I guess there was a floor? I dunno. This was a dream, and dreams didn't have to make sense.

Unless…

"It's good to see you," the boy said.

"Um." I shifted from foot to foot. "Sure."

The boy looked at me expectantly, though what he was expecting I couldn't say. He wore a little red robe, belted with a purple sash, and wooden geta sandals. Old fashioned, for sure. But when he tilted his head at me like a curious puppy, something glinted in his ear—a fish hook on a bit of twine. A kid my age with a fishhook earring? Weird, and definitely not old-fashioned.

The kid cleared his throat. I met his eyes with a polite smile. His beatific grin faded in response.

"You don't remember me," he said, voice a forgotten dime on the sidewalk.

"No. Sorry," I said. "Should I remember you?"

It was like he hadn't heard me. "Darn," he said. The smile returned like a lightbulb flicking on. "Oh well! Can't be helped. You were understandably distracted at the time." He tossed sakura bangs from his eyes, beaming. "Anyway. I suppose you're wondering why you're here."

"I'm dreaming, I suspect."

"We-ell…you're not wrong, exactly."

Awareness stirred as I parsed the subtext. "I'm not wrong. But that means I'm not right, either."

The boy giggled, but he did not reply. I shut my eyes. That settled it. My suspicions gelled like panna cotta in a blast chiller.

"I've read enough fanfiction to know this must be more than a dream," I said. "So. Who are you?"

Blue eyes sparked, fireworks at night. "Clever girl," the boy said. He swept a low bow, arms spread wide, Western-style. "Greetings. My name is Hiruko. It is nice to make your acquaintance."

I bowed back, in Japanese tradition. "I'm Keiko."

"Oh, nonsense." He edged his smile with pity. "You and I both know that's not your name."

I went very, very still.

Because this had the potential to be very, very bad.

Like worst-fear-level-bad.

Oh god oh god oh god—

Hiruko tutted. "Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm not your enemy."

The lump in my throat was hard to swallow. "How do you know I'm not Keiko?"

Small lips parted in surprise, then shaped the sound of a delighted laugh.

"How do I—? Ha! What do you think you look like right now?" He raised a hand and snapped his fingers. "Here. Let me help."

A mirror, eight feet tall with an antique gold frame, appeared behind him out of nowhere. I flinched, pulling backward and away, but then—

Oh.

"You're you, here," Hiruko said.

I saw myself in the mirror. Not Keiko, not the girl whose life I'd stolen—me. My old self. Five foot ten (no wonder Hiruko looked short), long brown hair, uneven hairline, and hooded grey eyes. The square jaw, the large forehead with the mole above my right eye, the angular, thick eyebrows. The tattoos on my thighs, swirling watercolor animals in rainbow shades. The titanium pin tenting the skin of my right elbow. Surgical scars on my elbow and wrist. Stretch marks on my thighs and belly. Piercings lining my ears like polite shrapnel. The mirror didn't show the chronic pain in my bad arm, or my anxiety disorder, or the problems I'd had with disordered eating—but I sensed those old parts of myself hovering at the edge of my perception like ghosts.

And then the mirror vanished, and those recollected inklings disappeared. I gasped at the loss of my old identity, staggering and stumbling and only barely catching my feet.

Hiruko was still smiling. I got the feeling he would never stop.

"It's OK," he said, all compassion and sweetness. "You're not in trouble. Just be yourself!"

"You…" For the first time I realized I spoke with my old voice, low nasal alto that used to croon the blues at karaoke night. "You aren't going to rat me out to Spirit World, are you?"

Smile turned to childish pout. "Why would you say that?"

I said it because it was my worst fear. Because Koenma might strip me from my life, send me into the unknown of death for the transgression of stealing the true Keiko's place. Because I feared what would happen if I was discovered. Because much as I felt guilt for stealing Keiko's life, I hadn't chosen to steal it, and I did not think I deserved punishment in light of this—punishment Koenma was likely to dole out.

I told Hiruko none of these things, however.

I merely said: "Just a hunch."

Pout turned to outright scowl. Eyes darkened like the sea at midnight. "Well, it's a bad hunch. I'm not with Spirit World."

"Um. OK?" The abrupt change from giggling child to dour naysayer gave me mental whiplash. "Sorry I asked."

He sighed. "No. The apology is mine. You have nothing to fear from me, Keiko." Then Hiruko blinked, alarmed. "Oh. Um. That's not really your name, is it? Oops. What should I call you?" He put a hand to his chin, thinking. "Bizarro-Keiko? Anti-Keiko? Not-Quite-Keiko?"

"Do you know my name?" I cut in. "My real one? I've forgotten how it sounds."

A sad smile, full of gentle denial.

"Yes. I know it," Hiruko said, "but I think telling you would only hurt."

I debated arguing. Decided against it.

"Yeah. I agree." I shook my head to clear the cobwebs. "So who are you, exactly?"

He rolled his eyes like he starred in a soap opera. "Oh, my. So forgetful. Like I said: my name is Hiruko!"

It was my turn to pout. "Answering without answering. Just what I always wanted."

He looked positively delighted by my sass. "Ooh, and you're salty. Just what I always wanted!"

I was much less delighted by his sass. This person seemed to know a lot about my situation, but if he was going to dance around my questions, I wouldn't waste my time talking to him—or at least I wouldn't let him think I'd waste my time. I sighed, tossed my head, and turned my back on the boy called Hiruko.

"Fine," I said. "Be that way."

And with that, I walked away into the void.

Of course, he appeared in front of me a second later with his hands jammed sullenly into his pockets, so I didn't get far.

"Fine, fine!" he said. "Slow down. I'll talk to you. It's just—"

He kicked the toe of his sandal at the not-ground. I waited, staring, until he heaved a sigh and met my eyes. His smile had lessened a little, though it hovered at the edge of his lips like a persistent shadow.

"Look," Hiruko said. "Cut me some slack. It's hard for me to speak to you directly."

"Why?"

"Because—" He opened his mouth and closed it a few times. Then he ducked his head and said, "I'm sorry."

My lips pursed. "What for?"

"For doing this to you."

The world got very narrow, then.

"It was an accident. Sort of. In any case, you aren't at fault, I promise." He stood on firm feet, eyes determined and jolly. "I bet that's a huge relief to hear!"

It took me a while to respond. The words just didn't want to come. When they did, I sounded like I'd been smoking a pack a day for a century—and I'd never smoked a single cigarette in either of my lives.

"Are you…the one who made me into her?" I croaked. "Into Keiko?"

Hiruko kicked at the ground again. Guilt colored his countenance as thoroughly as realization colored mine.

Realization…and indignation.

Rising, mounting, burning fury.

This fucker wanted me to feel relieved?

Who the hell did he think he was, playing with people's lives like this?!

"You are, aren't you? You're the one," I said. My fists clenched, nails cutting into palms. Suddenly words were a flood and my mouth a burst dam, no trouble thinking up stuff to say now, no sir, it was time to rant. "Why? Why did you do this? Why did you write her from the narrative? And why did you write me into it? Am I supposed to be her? Am I supposed to be me? Do I need to follow canon to the letter or am I supposed to make things better somehow? Why did you choose me for this? What am I supposed to do? Who are you? And what am I?" I stalked forward, unable to contain the roiling energy inside me. "What am I, dammit, Hiruko?!"

I would've gone on—heaven knows I had more to say, I had years of questions bubbling inside me, I was about to blow my top like Kuwabara's stupid goddamn volcano—but something rumbled beneath my feet and I staggered. The ground felt like a bucking bronco, goaded into ire by spur and saddle. I fell on my ass; Hiruko yelped. When I looked up, I saw he'd gone sprawling, too.

"Oh, shoot," he said. That eternal smile of his was panicked, but gleeful. "We're out of time! And so fast!"

Hiruko raised his hand, and snapped.

I knew what was coming. I felt it in my bones, felt the waking world pressing down around me, turning the abyss to shades of light and dark in the vague shape of Keiko's bedroom. The air shook against my skin, thrumming in my ears like a swarm of bees.

No—!

My vision blurred.

Wait—!

My body numbed.

Not when I almost have my answers—!

"Stop fighting, dear." Hiruko's voice cut through the cacophony, clear like a ringing bell. "You'll be awake in just a moment."

"Don't you dare disappear on me," I said (or maybe I was screaming, thrashing against the call of the waking world). "Don't you dare, Hiruko. Don't you fucking dare—!"

One second I was looking at his grinning little face and that stupid pink hair, distorted and warped as the dream world dissolved, and the next his image vanished. But I could still hear the bastard, smug voice a knife in the thickening air.

"I'm sorry, Not-Quite-Keiko," he said. "I know this is abrupt. I know you feel confused."

"So talk to me, dammit, Hiruko—!"

"Not today." The laughter in his voice was just plain annoying. "But don't worry. You'll have another chance."

"Another chance?!"

"Yup!"

The real world came down all the harder, then. I did everything I could to fight it. I clung to sleep, to the dream world, with every ounce of willpower I possessed, every ounce cultivated over the course of two shared lifetimes—

It wasn't enough.

As the roar in my ears reached a crescendo, and the dream world splintered into pieces, I heard Hiruko's smug voice one last time.

"Oh, yes. You'll have another chance." I felt his satisfaction as intensely as I felt my own frustration. "We'll see each other again…so long as you keep breaking the rules."

Next thing I knew, I felt moonlight on my face and the shudder of breath in my chest.

Hiruko had vanished along with my dreams.

He'd left me with questions, cold sweat, and little more…but at least now when things got tough, I'd have that little asshole to blame. I clung to that meager silver lining like a life raft.

At this point, I'd take any comfort I could get.


[[NOTES:

And here we have the mysterious Hiruko. I've been excited to introduce him. He'll be a rather big player in this story. But my lips are sealed for the time being.

Had a really nice review count on the last chapter! Highest so far, in fact. MUCH LOVE and MANY THANKS to three unnamed guests, wolfzero7, Kaiya Azure, Sayoko Noari, and xenocanan! And wow, this thing has WAY more favs/follows that I was expecting for such a young story. You're all the best!]]