A New Understanding
Anna walked through the castle halls quickly trying to find a place to clear her head. The revelations of having a sister was just too much. She needed to find a play to sort out her emotions. Before she realized, Anna found herself in the castle gardens. Seeing that no one else out in the garden she decided to stay there. The garden was covered in snow and the air was cold, but Anna didn't bother to get a jacket. Her mind was in other places to even care about that right now. She walked through the gardens looking for a secluded spot. Soon she manages to find a small bench and sat at it. After that she was just...thinking.
Everything her parents had told kept swarming her mind. Though she already knew it, she kept telling herself that she had a sister. She really couldn't believe it but she really did have a sister.
A gentle cold breeze brushed against her. It was nothing compared to the swirling storm in her. Several forms of emotions scrambled within Anna. She was angry & sad. Angry that her parents kept information that was no doubt vital for her to know. But also sad for her sister that had been stolen. That was an event that she could never imagine her parents went through. Anna felt sadness for her mother and...father.
A majority of her life, Anna had believed her father nothing as an overly paranoid person. She believed that he did this for no reason. Now she realized that he didn't do it without reason.
He had a reason.
Anna was angry at herself. How could she had been so ignorant? Never once she considered a reasoning for her father's behavior. The times she got annoyed at him, called him out on it and last night when she called him paranoid. Looking back she felt...awful. While she knew that way he handled it was still wrong, she could now see why. And she was to blind to see it. She remembered purposely go against his rules just to spite him several times, including going beyond the hills. It had gotten to the point where she couldn't tell if he was serious or not, and it almost got her killed. Her father probably thinks she was an ungrateful brat.
"Sadness storms within me like the snow." Anna thought. "I've frozen out the only family I'll ever know. There's no way I can win, but I wish that things had been different long ago."
"Life's too short…" Anna whispered to herself as she lowered to her head. "To be such an oblivious fool. So ignorant that I wouldn't see. Life's too short to constantly do what I want that I only ever thought of me. I wish I saw things clearly. I guess I'm just not the sort. Now all I know is life's too short."
Tears flow up out of Anna's eyes. She started crying, though not loud enough for anyone to hear. She was crying for her parents who went through such as horrible event, herself for not even trying to be understanding, and for the sister she'll never know. Unknown to her, someone had been watching her.
Agdar & Idun had gone to look for Anna after she had left his study. Asking some servants, they both manage to find Anna in the gardens.
"Could you give me a few minutes alone with her?" Agdar asked his wife before he headed out.
While she was a bit hesitant, Idun gave an understanding nod. Agdar walked around in the gardens looking for his daughter. He manages to find her while she was talking to herself and started crying. In all honesty, Agdar didn't blame her. The guilt he had heard in her voice was pretty much clear. But he knew very well that she wasn't to blame.
Not wanting to see her cry anymore, Agdar decided to make his presence known.
"Anna?"
"Oh god!" Anna jumped, quickly wiping her eyes. "How much did you hear?"
"Enough."
Anna turned her head away, while also slightly blushing from the embarrassment.
"Do you mind if I sit next to you?" Agdar asked.
"I don't." Anna scooted to one side of the bench to make room. Agdar sat at the clear side of the bench.
They both sat in a painfully awkward silence. Either wasn't sure who to speak first. Noticing that Anna didn't have a coat on, Agdar took off his black jacket and wrapped around her.
"Figure we both don't want you getting a cold."
"What about you?" Anna asked.
"I'm the king, I don't get colds," Agdar joked, to which his daughter giggled.
"Well, thanks." Anna went quiet for a brief moment. "Listen papa...I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For what I said last night, and for everything else. If I had known-"
"No, Anna," Agdar interrupted. "You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry. You made me see the truth last night. It was harsh, but it was the truth. I didn't blame you for doing what you did."
"...I said those things because I thought you were just doing it because you were paranoid. Most of the stuff I did through my life, including going beyond the hill, I did it because I couldn't tell if what you claimed was true. Heck, sometimes I did it just to spite you! But everything you did, though you were extreme at times, you had good reasons why. Up until today, I never once considered the possibility that something tragic had happened. I've been nothing but an inconsiderate brat."
"You weren't, Anna. If anything, it's my fault because...I was too weak to tell you."
Anna just stared at him with confusion in her eyes. Agdar took a deep breath before continuing on.
"One of the reasons why we never told you about your sister was because...It hurts. It's much different from simple cuts or your loved ones passing away. They just eventually heal up and move on. This type of pain never does. It sticks with you. For years, I tried to conceal it as much as possible because I hated feeling like this. I wanted to be free of this pain, but I couldn't."
Agdar went silent after speaking. Anna could see the distraught look on his face. She had never seen her father this upset before.
"But what I did was still wrong," Anna spoke up. "I broke your rules and I had no excuse. I'm sorry."
Anna sat still with her head down and hands on her lap, waiting to hear her father's response.
"I admit, I was rather initially angry when I found out. But after the past few days, I couldn't stay mad that long."
"So I'm not getting punished then?"
"Oh, you still are. Just not as much."
"Can't blame me for trying."
Both gave a lighthearted chuckle. After which, Anna decided to ask her own question, just for confirmation of her assumption.
"Were you really protective of me for all those years because of...what happened?"
"Yes," Agdar answered. "After Elsa's disappearance, I was determined to keep you safe." Agdar lifted his hand lightly touched Anna's cheek. "The night you were born, I promised myself that I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I wanted to give you the life that Elsa never got." His hand then moved away from her cheek. "And I almost failed both of those."
"You didn't fail anything. What happened out there was my fault. I made the decision to go beyond the hill."
"I drove you out there. I could've lost you."
"But you didn't."
For a moment, Agdar didn't respond to that statement.
"I know you just want to keep me safe, papa. Took me a while to understand why you want to. But I'm not a little girl anymore. I can handle myself. I mean, I still came back, didn't I?"
"Well, you're right about that. It's was relieving to hear you handled yourself well in the days you were alone."
The mention of the word 'alone', Anna mentally frowned at herself. She felt wrong for lying to her father. The only reason she was still alive was because of the other Elsa but she wasn't going to tell him about her. Speaking of the name...
"Papa...What was Elsa like?"
Agdar looked as if he was caught off guard a bit. Seeing his change of expression, Anna actually was going to tell him that he didn't have to say anything. But he spoke up before she could even speak.
"She was perhaps the sweetest girl you'll ever know. She was also smart for her young age. While she did love me and your mother, she was fond of me more. Everywhere I went, even to a meeting, Elsa always followed me. When she was a baby, I always manage to calm her down when your mother needed my help. We were practically inseparable. Even on my worst days, she somehow managed to bring a smile to my face. Your mother often told me that we both were two peas in a pod."
At the last sentence, Agdar trailed it off. A small smile appeared on his face before it shrank.
"You really did love her, didn't you papa?" Anna asked.
"Yes, I did. Even though she's gone and have you, your mother and I still love her."
"And we love you just the same." Both turned their heads to see Idun walking towards kneeled down next to where Agdar was sitting. "We never once considered you as a replacement or a spare, Anna. Could you ever forgive us for not telling you?"
"While I do wish you told me sooner, I can understand why you didn't. I forgive both of you."
Her parents gave relieved smiles.
"Can I ask you two something?"
"What is it, sweetheart?" Idun asked.
"When was Elsa taken?"
"It was about...4 months before you were born."
"The day before you got lost was the 15th anniversary of when she was taken," Agdar added.
Fifteen years...Fifteen years ago her sister was taken. Fifteen years her parents had spent suffering and dealing with all of that...alone.
"You guys defiantly should've told me sooner."
"Why?" Idun asked.
"So you both didn't have to suffer in silence."
Those words had taken the monarchs by surprise. Yet, at the same time, were touched by those words.
"We didn't want to put that burden you," Agdar said. "That was another reason we never said anything. We wanted you to be happy and not let that event dampen your life. I almost let it do it to me…"
"Agdar…" Idun attempted to place her hand on his arm. However, he quickly waved it off.
"No. She needs to know this too."
"Know what?" Anna asked.
It took a moment for Agdar to answer.
"After what happened, I spent every moment I had looking for her. I tried everything I could think of, but nothing helped. After two months, I had to end the searches since nothing turned up. After that I...I was different."
"Different, how?"
"The worst kind."
At those words, Anna went silent as she continues to listen.
"I shut everyone that cared about me out, including your mother. Whenever they tried to help me, I wouldn't say a word. I barely ate and slept. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Horrible nightmares. There were even brief moments when I even considered ending it all just like that, but never went through with it…"
Agdar stopped himself for a moment as he tried not to choke up. Idun rubbed his arm. She didn't say anything, but Anna could that her mother's eyes telling him that he didn't have to keep going. But Agdar continued on.
"When I did talk to others, it wasn't any better. I was a different man. So different that you would probably think I was someone else that just stole my appearance. I became cold and little aggressive."
"Did you…" Anna asked before Agdar continued.
"No. I didn't hit anyone. But the words I would sometimes say were just as bad. Anyway, after a while, I tried holding down my emotions."
"Why would you do that?"
"Conceal, don't feel. It was a method I would often use for important matters. I used it back then, and just a few days ago. My father taught me it, saying that a good leader must sometimes hide their emotions for the benefit of the kingdom."
"That sounds rather unhealthy."
"It was what I was taught. I thought it would help me...but I was wrong. So wrong. All it did was build a storm inside. All it needed was the perfect opportunity to rage out. And one day it did when we found out the truth about Elsa's kidnapping."
15 years ago...(May 1821).
"Is this true?" Idun asked.
King Agdar and Queen Idun were doing their own business when they had been told they had to go to the throne room for their captain had news for them. They both couldn't help but sit still in shock. They couldn't believe their ears when the captain brought disturbing news.
"I'm afraid so, your majesty," the captain replied. "It would seem the kidnap of Princess Elsa was an inside job. Done by one of our own guardsmen."
"Who was he?"
"His name is John Stonewall. He had been in our service for several years. According to him, he had met the perpetrators several weeks before your daughter's capture and conspired with them. It would explain how the kidnappers manage to get in and out of the castle undetected."
"Have you questioned him?"
"We have. However, he claims that he has no idea where your daughter's captors took her."
"Are you sure?"
"He had insisted very strongly, my queen. It would seem he may as well be telling the truth."
The pregnant queen face grew grim. Her hope of finding Elsa had left just as she had regained it. They were right back to square one.
"We'll continue to further question him, your majesties." The captain brought up.
"Very well. You may go, captain," Idun said.
The captain bowed to his rulers before leaving the throne room. This left no one but the monarchs themselves. Idun looked over at her husband. The entire time, Agdar did not say a word. This had frightened Idun.
"Agdar...Please say something."
"What is there to say?" Agdar responded rather coldly.
"There's still hope. Maybe the guard is still hiding something."
Agdar didn't respond.
"I need to be alone."
Before she could even think about what to say, Agdar had already left the room.
"A guard was seriously involved?!" Anna asked.
"Unfortunately," Idun said. "From what we knew, he apparently knew the kidnappers for several weeks. He insisted that he had no idea where they took or what they did to her. That he was just a co-conspirator."
"He was more than just a guard," Agdar added. "He used to patrol near Elsa's bedroom."
"That's horrible. Why would someone want to take a small child? Much less plot with the kidnappers?"
"There are some people in the world that are just...monsters. They're dark, selfish and cruel. If they find even the slightest ray of sunshine they destroy it. I should know."
"How, papa?"
"Because I almost became a monster."
15 years ago (several hours later)...
The sound of rapid knocking aroused Idun out of her sleep. After the revelation in the throne room and Agdar's departure, she had returned to the royal chambers for some peace & quiet. Not to mention, being heavily pregnant during these times didn't help matters as well. She didn't remember falling asleep though. Another rapid knocking took place, followed by a voice.
"Your majesty, are you in here?"
Idun got up from the bed. Taking a quick look around, she realized there hasn't been a sign that Agdar had at least been in the room. Brushing that aside, the queen went to the door. Opening it, she found a guard at the doorway. There was a look of fear in his eyes.
"What's going on?"
"It's the traitor Stonewall." The guard said. "He's escaped and he's running loose in the castle! I'm ordered to get you to a secure location until he's apprehended."
"Where's my husband?" Idun asked.
"I don't know your majes-" Before he finished, Idun quickly went into the hallways not listening to the guard's words. "Milady, it's not safe!"
Idun continued to ignore his words and continued down the hall rather quickly. It was late at night, meaning the halls were dark. Despite that, Idun manages to find her way to the destination she had in mind. Finally, she had arrived at the door of her husband's study. One thing she had noticed that the door was already opened. With caution, she entered the room. A breath of relief followed was she saw that no one was in.
"My queen, you must not run off like that. Especially when a prisoner is on the lose!" The guard had followed her the whole way.
However, Idun did not listen to his words. Instead, she was focused on the huge desk Agdar would typically do his work. Instead of documents that were on the desk, something else had taken their place. There were several empty bottles.
Moving closer to the desk, she picked up one of the bottles to examine it. A noticeable scent came out of it. It smelt of alcohol. Agdar wasn't much of a drinker, though there were occasions where he would drink this sort of stuff, that wasn't wine, whenever he had either a very stressful or very bad day, which pretty much every day for the past month was like. Very rarely did he ever drink to the point of intoxication. When he did those times Idun could recall were amusing & humorous at best or stupid at worst. But given the current situation, Idun didn't think he was in any of those states.
Another thing Idun took notice that just made her more nervous. Under his desk was where Agdar would usually keep his sword. And a drawer in his desk was opened. That drawer is where he had usually kept his pistol. Both of which were gone from their holding places.
Now the queen was no longer nervous. She was terrified. The empty bottles on the desk. The missing weapons. All that plus his mental state...They were all the perfect ingredients for a catastrophe.
"We need to find Agdar, now!" Idun shouted.
"I'm sure we'll find your husband before Stonewall can get to him," The guard assured.
"It's not that I'm worried about." The guard only looked confused at Idun's statement. "I'm worried about what happens if Agdar finds him!"
Agdar was in his study when word got out that the prisoner escaped. It took a little while, but he manages to find him. The traitor soldier, Stonewall, had made his way on the rocky shore that surrounded the castle, looking to find a way to escape. It was dark outside, with the moon being the only source of light. For the moment, Agdar's presence was unknown to him.
The scent of alcohol surrounded the king himself but didn't care. His hair was messy, his face had a stubble from the lack of shaving, and was just overall a mess and he didn't care. He was somewhat drunk, yet he still didn't care. He cared about nothing at this moment. Nothing but the man responsible for Elsa's, his little snowflake, disappearance. Slowly, he approached the man, drawing his pistol as well.
"That's far enough..." Agdar had spoken, his voice colder than ice.
Stonewall quickly turned around. He jumped once he saw the sight of the king pointing a pistol at him. Even though he looked to be not afraid, Agdar could see the fear in his eyes. The king took several steps closer to him.
As he had gotten closer, a guard, Storstrand, found his way outside. Not far he saw the escaped prisoner and the king facing each other.
"They're out here!" Storstrand shouted.
Not too long after, Kai & Gerda emerged behind him. They did not expect to see Agdar and the traitor soldier in the same place. Nonetheless, see the king point his gun at him. Before either of the 3 did something, they decided to watch the confrontation, thinking that things wouldn't escalate.
"Where did they take her?" Agdar asked in a cold voice.
"Wh-Wha?" Stonewall stuttered.
"Don't you 'what' me! Where did they take my daughter?! The very princess you betrayed!"
"I-I don't know."
"You're lying! Why else would you be trying to escape?! Unless you're too much of a coward to face the consequences of your treasonous actions!"
"I swear, I don't know. I only knew those guys for several weeks. They offered me money if I helped them get in and out of the castle undetected. They never told me where they took or what they were going to do with her. For all I know, she's probably dead now!"
Words did not leave Agdar's mouth. This was the confirmation that he had hoped to never hear. And yet he had just heard the words. It was pretty much clear now: Elsa is gone. Never again would he ever see her smile. Never again would he heard the joy of her laughter. Never will he ever watch her grow up. Never will she ever meet her sibling.
And the reason why was right in front of him.
"So you really don't know then?" Agdar spoke, in which Stonewall nodded in response. "Then I guess nothing is holding me back from doing this..."
Before anyone could react, the sound of a gunshot had echoed. This was followed by Stonewall shouting out in pain and clutching his bloodied shoulder. Gerda had let out a small scream, while Kai & Storstrand could only stand in shock. For they had just witnessed their king shoot someone.
Something inside Agdar had awoken. Something that had been growing for the past several months. It had been asleep until this very moment. Now the beast was fully awakened.
While Stonewall was too focused on his wound, Agdar took that opportunity to approach him. Putting away his pistol, he pushed the man down hard on the ground. Stonewall had landed on his wounded shoulder, but Agdar didn't give a damn about it. The king lowered himself on the ground and started to punch Stonewall in the face repeatedly. Each punch harder than the last.
As the punches kept going on, blood was spewing all over Agdar's knuckles. But the blood was not his as evidence to the bloodied face on Stonewall. It was at that moment that the 2 servants and guard made a horrible realization: Agdar had intended to finish off Stonewall, permanently. Guilty as he was for the loss of Elsa, this was not a way to deal with this.
Quickly, Kai & Storstrand rushed over to Agdar and grabbed him by his arms. Using all of their strength, they struggled to try to pull him away from the battered man. All the while pleading to the king to stop.
"Don't do this, your majesty!" Kai said.
"He's not worth it!" Followed by Storstrand.
But Agdar ignored their words. His attention was still focused on Stonewall, who manage to get up and tried to walk away. Just seeing him move had only increased the king's madness.
"Let me go!" Agdar thrashed around like a trapped animal trying escaping
"You're better than this!" Kai shouted. "Think this through!"
"LET! ME! GO! NOW!"
Somehow, Agdar had managed to hit both of the men restraining him. Hard enough to knock them over. Gerda shouted for her husband and rushed to his side. Now freed from their grip, Agdar pulled out his pistol again. Another shot rang out, with Stonewall being hit in the leg this time. With a newfound assurance that the man won't be escaping, Agdar intended to finish the job. But as he pulled the trigger again, there wasn't a shot this time. After a getting no shots several other times, Agdar tossed the pistol on the ground and cursed himself for not checking for the bullets. He then resorted to plan B.
Gerda looked in horror as she saw the king draw out his sword as he approached the man. She yelled at him to stop several times. Even though they were a bit dazed, Kai and Storstrand still attempted to reason with Agdar from their position.
Despite their best efforts, their words did not sway Agdar. The world was tuned out as he put all his focus on Stonewall. The man was on his front trying to clench his shoulder & leg wound while also crawling away slowly, but he did not get far. Agdar went over to his side, sword tight around his grip. He kicked the man's side, knocking him over on his back. The king placed a foot on the man's chest, pushing his weight down on it hard.
"Please…" Stonewall begged, fear clear in his eyes. "Have mercy…"
Mercy? How dare he ask for mercy?! Especially when he didn't give any to Elsa! Just hearing those words further infuriated Agdar. Well, the man will soon be quiet.
Slowly, the king raised his sword high above his own head. All he needs to do is make one swing to give the man the punishment he deserves. One quick swing and then it'll be done. Agdar was about to bring down the sword...
"AGDAR NO!"
A familiar feminine voice screamed out his name as a firm but gentle grip was felt around his sword held hand. Turning his head, he saw the sight of his wife.
It didn't take long for Idun to find her husband. And when she did, she was horrified at the site of Agdar shooting and then beating Stonewall to a bloody pulp, and watched Kai, Gerda, and Storstrand's failed attempts to stop him. Once she saw Agdar pull out his sword, Idun knew right there and then she had to intervene before Agdar would do something he would regret for the rest of his life.
Both husband and wife stared at each other. Idun's grip still around Agdar's wrist. She looked into his eyes and saw the fury in them. However, a mix of fear, worry, and sadness never left hers.
"Agdar...Please don't do this." Idun begged, eyes on the brink of tears. "This is not the way and you know that. This is not who you are. You're not a killer. I want the man I know back. Please, come back."
It would seem Idun's words had got through to him, seeing as Agdar's eyes soften. He took this moment to look at the damage he caused, lowering his sword as he did. Not far, he could see Gerda helping Kai to his feet. A cut was seen across his forehead. Storstrand looked to be clutching his side. All three were looking at him with concern, but they also looked a bit apprehensive.
Finally, Agdar turned to Stonewall. Taking his foot off the man's chest, he looked over the wounds he had given him. Agdar's grip on his sword loosens to the point where a loud clang was heard. With the sword no longer in his hand, Idun released Agdar from her grip.
With both of his hands now free, Agdar looked at them. Blood covered his knuckles and fingers. Blood that belonged to Stonewall's battered face.
All rational thought came back the king, along with a pang of guilt that hit him like a brick wall. In the past, Agdar had killed before, but those were for lawful executions he ordered on criminals. This was different. He had almost unlawfully killed a man with his own hands. While Stonewall was not innocent by all measures, he was still defenseless and did not instigate the fight. Agdar, the king, a man who was supposed to be an example for the people, including children, almost murdered a man in cold blood. He didn't act like a king. Instead, he became the opposite of such...
...A monster.
"Oh god…" Agdar choked up, still looking at his blood covered, trembling hands. His legs shook till they gave out, causing him to land on the ground on his knees. "What have I done…?"
A gentle touch was felt on his shoulder. Turning his head, he saw Idun kneeling next to him. Idun moved her hand from his shoulder to his cheek. Agdar looked into her blue eyes. The look in her eyes had a gentleness in them.
Without warning, Idun wrapped her arms around Agdar, pulling him into a hug. It took him a moment before Agdar returned the gesture. He buried his head into her neck. As the tears fell from his eyes, he muttered the same words over and over as he sobbed.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."
"Shhh..." Idun rubbed his head reassuringly. "Everything's okay now."
They had both remained in their spot until more guards came and apprehended Stonewall. They wondered why he was so beaten up. Many had come to the conclusion that the king was trying to stop him and they ended up in a brawl. Little did they knew that wasn't the case.
Those who had witnessed Agdar's outburst never let that memory leave them. It had forever became known to them as 'The Incident'.
Anna didn't say anything once her parents finished the story. She couldn't really believe that her father, someone she knows to be so kind and gentle, had almost murdered a man. It was truly shocking.
"I understand if you don't believe it, but every word I said was true," Agdar said. "If you think of me of some sort monster, I wouldn't blame you if you did…"
Agdar turned away from Anna. Any moment he was expecting her to run off again, or for her to start yelling at him. The longer the silence, the bigger his hope for Anna to shout, scream, or say anything. Instead, she did something that he did not anticipate. She hugged him.
"You're not a monster." While still shocked at this revelation, Anna knows very well that her father was nothing like that. She could tell the amount of regret in his voice
It was enough for Agdar. Those words just made him feel...better. He returned the hug to his daughter. At the same time, he gave a quick glance to Idun who just smiled. Soon, she to join in on the group hug.
I admit this chapter did make me a bit...emotional when writing it. I even had to take several breaks in order to clear my head.
We finally had an explanation on the infamous event know as 'The Incident'. Might've been inspired to write this part from a certain scene from Big Hero 6. (I even had an earworm that played parts of Silent Sparrow from the BH6 soundtrack while writing this). So yeah, Agdar had a total 'Baymax, Destroy' moment.
I could imagine that if someone was somewhat responsible for the loss of someone I love, I probably be pissed off at them. And maybe want revenge. It is natural for humans to desire such a thing. However, there are still lines to be crossed. If we cross that line we be no better than them. Agdar was lucky that Idun had stopped him.
I know Anna's reaction to 'The Incident' may be a bit underwhelming, but considering that in the movie she still loved Elsa, even though the latter nearly killed her twice I think it wouldn't be to OOC for her to be that forgiving.
Oh I manage to sneak in the "Life's Too Short Reprise" in here.
On a minor note, I sure hope everyone had a happy Easter. Also, my birthday is coming up (4/4). I'll be turning 21 years old (same age as Elsa. FTW!).
Thanks for the favs, follows, and reviews. Happy Reading.
