CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR
Miracles In the Midst of Tears

It was late in the afternoon, at least two hours past lunchtime and Helena had had Alexis brought into her presence in one of the small dining rooms overlooking the lee side of island. She motioned for the guards to escort Alexis to a seat opposite her and had the servants hovering nearby prepare her a plate of food before she dismissed them all from the room, leaving her and Alexis alone..

"Sit. Eat. My people tell me that they brought you a tray earlier, but it went untouched. That won't do at all, Alexis. I have no intention of enduring the sight of you haggard and starving."

"How do you expect me to eat, Helena." Alexis said quietly. She glanced out the window, anything to keep her from having to look at the other woman.

Helena shrugged. "Did you and Stefan have a nice visit?"

Those words sent Alexis back, reliving the past two hours all over again.

flashback

Released from the guards grip, Alexis ran to Stefan's side, her eyes running over him. She could see the signs of malnutrition in him; his glazed eyes spoke volumes about his semi-conscious state. She turned from her position sitting at his bedside. "Helena, this is barbaric – even for you. If you were going to kill him, then you should have just done it." She gestured towards Stefan, who shivered and murmured incoherently, gasping for breath, caught in a drug-induced nightmare. He'd been like this since Helena had closed the door on them. She'd made an object lesson of Stefan. While Alexis had been forced to stand by helplessly, she'd gone to her son's side and prepared a syringe, smiling at Alexis the whole time.

"There, there, my golden-hair angel." She'd murmured, turning back to Stefan. "Mother has just what you need, doesn't she?"

She lifted one am from beneath the blanket and Alexis had been horrified to see a series of needle marks on his inner forearm.

In spite of herself, Alexis cried out, fighting uselessly against the guards' grip on her arms, aware of the anguish in her voice and for the moment, not caring at all that Helena had won, had cracked the veneer of bravery as easily as cracking an eggshell. Nothing matter except that Stefan was alive, and Helena was putting him through the hell of a living death. "Helena, in God's name, why?" she screamed at her.

Helena didn't answer her at first, she had been too busy injecting Stefan with some colorless solution. Stefan's eyes opened briefly at the prick of the needle. They tried to focus on Helena, and then as Alexis cried out, his gaze wavered in her direction. But the effort was too much. Alexis struggled in the guards' hands and watched in horror as his gaze blurred and then his eyes rolled upwards into his head.

Alexis stepped forward, only to be stopped by the grip on her arms. Her voice was raw with pain. "Why!" she asked again, her voice a cracked agonized whisper.

Helena trailed her fingers across Stefan's face in a caress that was obscene in its gentleness. "I prefer him this way. Docile – and mostly silent. I am almost reminded of when he was a babe, before he became such a disappointment to me. I had such plans for my sons, the both of them. It was unfortunate that Stefan chose to stand against me."

She stood and faced Alexis. "A mistake you were a very willing participant in." Helena told her in a suddenly cold voice. She turned and nodded to the guards; at her unspoken command they released their hold. Alexis rushed to Stefan's side and knelt beside him. Her hands trembled as she reached out; she touched his face, his hands, again and again as though to reassure herself that indeed he was alive. She thanked God for small mercies; Stefan's trembling had stopped and his breathing had slowed.

Her eyes, when she turned them back to Helena, were bright with hate. "Is this my fate as well?"

"Perhaps. But why waste what time you have with your beloved brother worrying about things over which you really have no control?" Helena glanced at her watch. "I have a few errands to run, so I'll leave you two to enjoy one another's company. Won't that be nice?" She laughed at Alexis, the pleasure of her cruelty all too evident in her voice before turning and walking out.

Alexis was left to stare at the door as Helena and the guards left. The door closed behind them and Alexis heard the lock being bolted behind them. It echoed in the sudden silence. Alone, except for Stefan insensible beside her, her old fears and worries bowed her head. Desolate and unable to remember a time when she'd felt more lonely, Alexis wrapped her arms around herself, shivering despite all of her brave words. Alexis could not remember a time when she'd felt more helpless. Despair threatened to overwhelm her, and for a moment, she was defenseless before its onslaught.

After a time, Alexis tried to regain some of her strength; she had turned to Stefan, determined to make him as comfortable as she could. She tore a piece of cloth from the bed sheets and tried to use it as a facecloth, wiping the sweat from Stefan's fevered brow. The initial joy she'd felt at discovering he was alive had quickly fled from her as she realized the full extent of what Helena had done to her youngest son.

It had been another hour before Stefan roused to anything resembling comprehension. At last, his eyes had opened, and focused on her; for a moment, Alexis' heart leapt in her chest in relief. But all too soon, it became clear that he was not trusting his eyes. "You've come to visit me again, Natasha? I wish I could say I am glad to see you, little one, but I am not. I do not wish to see you here…but you're only here in my dreams… "

Alexis' heart broke, and tears welled up in her eyes. She snatched up Stefan's hand and held it to her. "Stefan…" she sobbed aloud. "I'm here, I'm really here… oh, Stefan…" she dissolved into incoherent sobs.

Maybe it was the sensation of her tears, hot and wet on his skin, but Stefan roused suddenly, his eyes fixing on hers with a sudden fierce intensity. His voice strengthened as his hand tightened in hers. "I know you, Alexis…don't cry, oh Ninochkha, don't cry..it will be all right…"

And this was the scene that Helena walked back in on. She looked down on Stefan with an indifference that chilled Alexis all over again.

"Did you and Stefan have a nice visit?" Helena smiled again. The smile of Alexis' childhood, the one that never reached her eyes.

At the sound of her voice, Stefan's entire body had stiffened, and then his voice dropped into an unintelligible rambling. And then they had taken her away.

end flashback

Alexis became aware of Helena carefully examining her face, and knew it to be still marked with the tracks of her tears. "I can see that it must have been quite the emotional reunion."

"What do you want , Helena? What do I have to do to get you to take Stefan out of there? What do I have to do to stop you from killing him by inch by torturous inch? Do I have to beg? Is that what you want to see?" Alexis had already determined that she would do anything, promise anything, if only Helena would stop drugging Stefan. Today. Now. She trembled and to her own horror, felt the tears rising up in her again.

"I'll beg for his life, Helena. How do you want it? On my knees?" She took a deep breath, prepared to do anything to save Stefan from Helena's murderous acts.

Alexis slipped from her chair and onto her knees, not caring that perhaps she'd given Helena her greatest triumph over her yet. Helena stood, took her by the arm and drew her upwards to stand before her.

Alexis stared at her, numb with the sudden incomprehension. Her emotions reeled wildly. Relief that Stefan was alive, hate for the woman who's action had reduced him to this, terror of her suddenly uncertain future, desperation to do what she could for her brother and herself, all of these feelings stormed uncontrollably through her. And now with confusion tossed into the mix Alexis was totally lost. The nightmares of her childhood had come back to life – Helena held the power of life and death in the palm of her hand.

Alexis looked up at her, prepared to do more, do anything at all if it released Stefan from this hell. She expected to see satisfaction in Helena's gaze and was stunned into immobility when she did not. Wouldn't her bowing down before Helena give the woman pleasure?

All of these conflicting emotions were too much for Alexis. Her body trembled and she found herself suddenly struggling against the burn of another onslaught of fresh tears threatening her. Under the onslaught of fear and confusion and sheer uncontrollable emotion, she lost the battle decisively.

Only now did Helena smile. "I think we can both agree that you're undeserving of my good will, but I will grant it, nonetheless. I will arrange for more – suitable - quarters for Stefan, and allow you to share them for the foreseeable future. Before you thank me overmuch, be aware that this might change if the situation warrants it."

Stunned at her actions, Alexis could barely find her voice. "Wh—why?" Alexis finally managed to ask.

"In my absence, I was busy – tying up a few loose ends, I believe the phrase to be. I'll admit it, my initial plans were to hold you as I have held Stefan; I need leverage to bend my darling Nikolas to my will and I thought your well being would be the coin to buy Nikolas' obedience. Stefan is to be used as a last resort. But in order to avoid any undue and troublesome medical complications, I needed access to your medical records. Luckily for me – and for you, as it turns out – you made my job easy. As a result of your latest doctor's visit, I find myself in the awkward and rather unique position of caring for your continued well-being." As Alexis continued to stare at her in total incomprehension, Helena smiled again. This time it did reach her eyes.

"Don't think about the tears, my dear. It's not the weakness you think it is… only hormones. The bane of womanhood, that's what the curse of motherhood is, when despite what intelligence and intellect we possess, our minds become slaves to the body."

Weakness.. hormones…motherhood…Slowly Helena's words began to penetrate into Alexis' newly stunned mind and her eyes suddenly widened in shock. Could it be?….

"Yes, my dear. It seems my plans must change again, and this is something you might be glad of. It appears I have had to change my plans, after all, I've no wish to bring harm to the next heir to the House of Cassadine."

Instinctively, Alexis glanced down to her abdomen even as her hand flew up to touch it protectively. Helena noticed the gesture and smiled again.

"It's perplexing, I admit, a bastard Cassadine bearing a bastard Cassadine, but in the end, blood is blood after all, and that is all that matters. Fortunately for you."