Chapter 58: Apologies and Epiphany

"Your hair is getting longer, Kiu. Are you going to let it grow now?"

Yukari points her chopsticks at me and asks. I reach up to my hair and hold a strand between my fingers. It's about the length of Gaara's hair now.

"Not sure… It has been pretty convenient if I'm being honest, but I'll probably let it grow out. I do like it longer, it makes me feel safer somehow."

I have been resuming my shinobi activities for a bit now with Team Otokaze. The relationship between Koji and I is a bit tense, though, since I told him about what happened.

Yukari and I decided to go out just the two of us to catch up on things during one of our mutual breaks from missions. It makes me feel like there's some sense of normalcy back in my life. Since the only two people who are aware of what I know are Gaara and Koji, Yukari still treats me the same as always, which is comforting.

"So, Yukari, how has it been going with Ikki and Yuto?"

"Oh we feel a lot more like a team after all this time. They're both quite considerate people and we all get along great. Yuto is unexpectedly attentive to us too. We all feel like we can trust each other with our lives."

"Lucky you…"

I let out an exasperated sigh. I wonder what's on Koji's mind. Does he actually still think that my clan was at fault?

"How about you and Gaara?"

Yukari suddenly asks me with a sly smile on her face.

"Me and Gaara?"

What an odd question.

"You know, are you guys finally dating?"

When the realization of what she just asked dawns on me, I feel my cheeks getting warm.

"W-What are you saying? We're not dating!"

Suddenly an image of me and Gaara holding hands and kissing creeps up from my imagination and into my mind. My face feels like it is on fire now…

"That's surprising. I thought that maybe you guys finally realized how you felt about each other."

Yukari pouts a little and then gives me a playful wink. This is way too embarrassing, I need to counterattack!

"What about you and Ikki? Nothing happened yet?"

Now it's Yukari's turn to blush.

"There's nothing going on between us!"

"Yet…"

I return her playful wink from earlier. We both then giggle together at our situations.

"Look at us fawning over boys…"

I nod at Yukari's observation.

"I guess being shinobi didn't make us emotionless after all."

We continue talking and enjoying each other's company for while before parting ways. As I take a walk around the area, my mind keeps wandering back to that image of me and Gaara together. Why am I being like this? I shake my head, hoping the image would disappear, but to no avail. I don't think I would be able to look him in the eyes if I see him anytime soon. Maybe I just need to clear my head by doing some training.

As I head towards the training grounds, I run into none other than Koji…

"Ah…! Kiu…"

He's still being distant and awkward. It's getting a bit frustrating.

"Look, Koji. I told you everything back then because I trusted you. I believed in you. To be honest, I've been feeling like maybe I put too much faith in you."

I'm so done with the way he's acting. I've been trying to be understanding by giving time to process things, but it's getting ridiculous.

"I'm sorry. Is it ok if we go somewhere to talk? I know that I have been running away from this for way too long…"

Koji's not looking me in the eyes, but at least he seems willing to talk things out. I follow him to one of the roofs. I sit at the edge of the roof and he stands next to me, both of us looking out into the village.

"I think I still am very confused about it all. I just can't seem to come to terms with the fact that so many people I trust repeatedly lied to me to hide something so awful. It felt like if I faced it, if I faced you, I would have to come to that realization."

I let out a sigh of relief. Koji finally locks gazes with me. Is that sadness? No… more like remorse that I see?

"Kiu, I am so sorry… I feel this overwhelming guilt. I didn't want to doubt you or hurt you, I was just so afraid of the truth. That my father… is a cold-blooded murderer. That this whole village was built on a mountain of corpses."

"Koji, it's not your fault. You are not part of this."

I take his hand in mine to comfort him.

"We are the future, we will change the way of our village. If I didn't have hope in what is to come, I don't think I'd still be here. I even contemplated plotting out my revenge and deserting the village. But then, I found my hope. I knew he'd be by my side no matter what. I saw something in him that changed me and that could even change this village."

Koji seems puzzled by my words. I'm realizing just how much Gaara means to me and how much I believe in him. I think that he might become that beacon of hope for this village, just like he is to me.

"Are you talking about Gaara?"

Koji withdraws his hand from mine. Oh right, he has a thing against Gaara because of me.

"Putting your personal feelings aside, can't you see Gaara becoming someone extraordinary in the future?"

Koji shrugs.

"Are you suggesting he become the Kazekage? I don't know how many people would be on board with that."

"Yes! Kazekage! As for the people on board, there's already you and me. I'm sure once everyone sees just how sincere and powerful he is, they will support him too."

"Why did the conversation suddenly steer to this? Then again, I guess I should be somewhat grateful to him that you didn't decide to avenge your clan…"

"Exactly! See? He brings the best out of people."

"I think you just me you."

When he said that, I couldn't help but laugh which also caused him to laugh.

"Finally, it feels like it's been forever since we laughed together like that, Koji."

We smile at each other, grateful for our renewed friendship.

"Alright, you got my vote for Gaara when the time comes. Let's keep working hard together from here on out, Kiu."

We firmly shake each other's hand.

"You got it, partner."

And with that we were finally on good terms again.

That night, I get back home to find Gaara and his siblings there each doing their own thing. I go to Gaara who was reading up on some scrolls, excited to share my idea with him. When he sees me, he puts the scroll down and smiles at me.

"Kiu, you're home."

I nod and sit next to him.

"Me and Koji finally made up. He said that he was avoiding the conversation because he was afraid to face the possibility that his family lied to him…"

Gaara nods.

"Yeah, it is understandable… If only leaders didn't feel the need to trample over others to ensure the safety and power of their nation, it would lead to more peace in this world."
When I hear him talk like this, it really does solidify the idea of him becoming the Kazekage. I'm sure he'd make an amazing leader that will put the people's wellbeing before anything else.

"Gaara, have you ever thought of becoming Kazekage?"

His eyes widen a little bit and he looks at with surprise.

"Kazekage? Hmm… I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind, but I did not want to become like my father."

"But that's the thing, you are nothing like your father. If anything, you will change how things are. You will be our beacon of hope."

Gaara is quiet for a bit after I say that. I guess he didn't expect this.

"I do want to change things. I do want people to look up to me. Maybe I even want to one day lead and protect them. This won't be easy though, Kiu."

I smile and take his hand in mine.

"I will be with you every step of the way, Gaara."

Holding Gaara's hand is giving me such a completely different feeling from holding Koji's hand. Right now, my heart is beating faster and I feel my cheeks warming up. I look at Gaara and notice that he's been also looking at me. I look down with a shy smile. I feel all these butterflies in my stomach from being so close to him. Does he feel the same?

"Thank you, Kiu. For everything you've done and continue to do for me."

"Don't mention it…"

Don't mention it? That's all I have to say to his sincere thanks? I must really be out of my mind…