Title: "Letters"

Author: Baliansword

Chapter: 9, "Sogdia and Bactra"

A/N: Thank you again for the reviews. Angstman- the answer to your question will be found in this chapter. As always, reviews and comments are always appreciated. Enjoy everyone!

H/N: The below chapter will be the finished summary of the year 328 BC. In the Autumn, Cleitus was murdered by Alexander at Samarcand. I am going to base the events on those in the film. Meaning to those that may not have seen it, that Cleitus will mock and taunt Alexander, and then Alexander will kill him. Also, historically after this Alexander locked himself away for days, willing to see no one, perhaps because of the shame he felt for making such a drunken mistake. In the winter Alexander went on to capture the Sogdian Rock and the Rock of Chorienes, which were both Sogdian strongholds.

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"That was what he wanted to do," Alexander uttered quietly after a long moment of silence. Cassander was barely able to hear him. Yet he turned his head so that he could look at the broken spirit beside him. This was the Alexander that the known world had come to fear. The thought saddened Cassander, for he no longer was Alexander at all it seemed. Instead he was just like all of the men; a broken and battered soul that longed for home, where perhaps rest and peace would come to fulfill the emptiness found across the world.

"The day that he died," Alexander continued. An ache filled his voice that Cassander hoped he would never have to feel. He had been with Alexander for years and heard every tone he thought the man had. He'd heard grief and despair before, pain and anger, but never something this tormenting. As Alexander paused he knew that he was not going to continue, that the pain was too much, so he did the unthinkable. He placed a hand over Alexander's to comfort him.

"Tell me," he asked quietly, feeling for the first time that he too could feel. And he knew that he had Hephaestion to thank for it. It was a dreary thought, to say the least, to know that the death of a friend had given life to you. Yet he knew that in Hephaestion's death he had found a reason to live. So perhaps Hephaestion had made the ultimate sacrifice in some way, but given the greatest gift back in return.

"I didn't remember it until today," Alexander said, his voice drifting out to the open winds as if they too would travel home to find peace. "The day that he died, I went to his room in the morning. Do you remember what he was like, when he was ill?"

"A complete pain in the ass, sending his own physicians away, only to grow sicker," Cassander answered. Alexander smiled slightly for he knew that it was true. Hephaestion had been completely stubborn.

"Yes. He slept a lot, the last few days. But I went that morning," he went on, "and he woke when I took his hand in mine. He said that he wanted to see the sunrise, just once more. I didn't believe him. I laughed, and I told him that he would have the chance to see plenty more. I promised him in fact that the next day I would come, early, and I would wake him so that he could see it. I should have believed him. I should have known that he of all people would know if death was waiting for him."

"It would have done you no good to believe him."

"I never would have left."

"Yes," disagreed Cassander. "You would have gone because he would have told you to go. You know how much Hephaestion loved you. He loved you enough to give you away to the world."

"I know," he said with a nod. "But I never got to show it to him. The sun rising over Ecbatana. So I thought that you should see it instead. You've never seen the sun rise."

"No," he chuckled as he removed his hand from Alexander's. He turned, so that he could face the king, and laughed slightly once more. "I would prefer to still be sleeping. Yet, it was worth it, if it brings you some peace."

"I won't ever find peace again."

"You will find it," Cassander said as he leaned forward and placed a kiss to Alexander's temple, as they had done as friends years ago. He then put space between them once more. Reaching out he ran a hand over his golden hair, straightening the askew strands. "You will find it because Hephaestion would expect no less from you. Keep reading, for in the end I know that all will be well with you. He had a power to make you well."

"Go read," Cassander then said as he stepped off of the balcony and back into the hallway, where servants were now making their rounds. "I will stall the Companions."

"How are you going to do that?"

"Who knows. Maybe I'll kill someone and pin it on one of them," he said, his tone completely serious. Alexander continued to stare at him though. Sighing, he shrugged. "Fine, I will do something else. Just, please, get better."

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Alexander, Autumn of 328

Samarcand. Cleitus is dead. I do not know what else to say.

It was not all your fault. He should have known better than to taunt you so, I think. He knew what you were. He knew that you were not those things he said. He did love you, Alexander, like a second father. I'm not sure if he deserved what you did though. In fact, I don't think any of us agreed with it. Apart from maybe Cassander, who has been quarreling with many of the Companions. Even he was shocked though. I think we all are. They don't feel safe with you anymore.

I trust you. I always have and I always will. You should know that. Because I sense that you are going to believe that I too am against you. None of us are truly against you though. We just want to understand you. We want to help you because we fear for you. Perhaps this is all too much.

There is only one thing that I wish now, more than anything. I wish that it would have never happened. I laugh, even at myself, because I know there are hundreds of things we wish never had happened. Maybe I should have been stronger than you, and held you back, where I failed to tonight. If I had held you back, it never would have happened.

So no, I do not blame you. For how could I blame you when really I blame myself? If I had given you that extra goblet of wine, maybe things would have been different. The more I think about the events of this night the more I believe I could have prevented it. I should have been able to protect you from this but I didn't.

I'm sorry Alexander.

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Alexander,

Again today you have not left your room. We all worry for you. I think the others are beginning to grow anxious though. At first we all spoke of you. Yet now I enter a room and they are silent. There is something going on that I don't even have the energy to look into. I fear that I am too concerned about you and your well being.

Cassander, who I still think is the only person apart from you I can trust here, watches me. I know he does because I have seen him do so. Today I think he tried to tell me something. They were all speaking when I entered the room and hushed when they heard me. He shifted his eyes, blatantly, and directed them at Craterus. I don't know what he meant by it. But I know that he meant something.

Maybe he protects you too.

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Alexander,

You have done everything that you have said you were going to do. You have nothing left to take but the Indus it seems. That will come later though, I am sure. I heard something about you today. I was walking amongst some of the survivors of the raid of the Sogdian Rock. There was a young boy, who reminded me of myself, that I saw.

I think you would have liked him. He had my eyes, just green, yet sparkling the same at the mention of your name. I spoke to him because he seemed to be the only child that was smiling and not afraid. He told me that he was waiting for the Great Alexander to come to Sogdia. He was waiting because his dream was to be your page so that he could see the world and help you unite it as the Lord Hephaestion did.

I asked him what he knew of Hephaestion, since he'd already told me everything about you. I laugh, because maybe he knows more about you than I do. Yet when he began to speak of Hephaestion, of me, he was even more excited. He said that Hephaestion was, "Alexander's lover in all ways, and therefore the wisest man of all the scholars."

I continued to pry, because I had nothing else to do, and because the young boy interested me. So I asked him what his statement meant. He said that Hephaestion, again me, was not only Alexander's dearest friend but also his favorite general, and his lover. It was rather endearing to hear him say it so boldly. He said any man that would love Alexander and never fault him was the wisest of all. I asked why and he said, "All men have faults, but it takes the best man to overlook all of them."

I liked the boy. He made me smile because he couldn't continue to look at me for any deal of time. I know what he was doing because when I was young I did the same thing. He was waiting for you to ride up on Bucephalus, the famed horse he held a carved wooden toy of. Honestly, he reminds me of me, which makes me smile I suppose.

I'm going to remember to talk to you in the morning about him. His name is Arladoas. I think he would make a fine page. I cannot believe I am thinking it, but he would even make a suitable friend for Bagoas. They look about the same age. So perhaps you will be in need of another page, or at least another hand around here. I cannot forget him.

"Hephaestion," said Cassander as he rode up. It was then that the boy's eyes suddenly got huge. I took off my helmet and handed it to the boy. I told him to hold it for me while I spoke to Cassander. I think that he almost feinted. Which, I felt bad for. But to see the look on his face, which was priceless, I fear I would do it again.

When Cassander was done briefing my on what your orders were, which I already knew, I went back to Arladoas and took my helmet from him. Immediately he was standing, looking at me for the first time, yet saying nothing. I looked down at him once more and told him that I would put a word in for him. That's what I did today that meant something. I made his day. Which, in turn, made mine.

Maybe uniting the world is not as hard as you think it is. Perhaps it is just what I have done today. Showing someone that you care, maybe that is all it takes to make such bonds. Perhaps you will face great uprisings from the elders of this world. Yet I have no doubt, when the youth of today like Arladoas rise and become the power holders in their villages, they will gladly serve you. I think they are the future that you see.

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Cassander continued to look over the pile of scrolls that were sitting before him. He knew that Alexander was in no shape to do such a thing. Usually it was Hephaestion who would do this sort of thing. It was no great secret for the Companions had sensed that was what happened. Cassander had never minded because he knew that Alexander and Hephaestion shared the same mind, more or less. He gave Hephaestion credit though, for this was not as simple as he would have thought it would be.

"Here," said a friendly voice as a plate was set down before Cassander. It was still early for lunch but with waking so early he felt thrown off. He glanced up at the boy that had set the chicken down and nodded. It was just as the boy was about to step out the door that he was stopped.

"Arladoas," Cassander said as he sat there. The page stopped and turned, looking obediently at Cassander. With pen still in hand, Cassander glanced back down at the parchment. "You know Greek, I presume?"

"Yes, Alexander had it taught to me."

"Good," he said with a sigh. "I need your help then. What does the word acquiesce mean?"

"It is another word for comply," laughed the page. Cassander took his pen and on one of the table settings, which were too fine to eat off of let alone write on, and scrawled out the meaning of the word.

"What about dominion? What else does that mean?"

"Ascendancy, sovereignty, nation, government, reign, or domination I believe. It would just depend on what you are reading."

"We would comply with Alexander's," he paused as he looked at the list of words he'd written on the table setting. He cracked a few knuckles then read the sentence out loud once more. "We would comply with Alexander's sovereignty over our lands, and would such provide him with the military supplies he would need, as well as other needed staples."

"Sounds good," the young boy said. "Is there anything else you need?"

"No," Cassander said as he looked over the sentence once more. "If I need anything I will call for you. So stay close because these bastards put words in here that no one uses."

"I assure you, they are quite common."

"Still, I sense they word it so that they can default on their bargains."

The boy chuckled slightly and left the room, glad that he was doing something. If Alexander had not taken him in, he did not know where he would be now. But at least those Greek lessons had come in handy. As he entered the kitchen he spotted Bagoas and flashed him a perfect smile.

"I still don't see why you don't like him," Arladoas said.

"You missed a great deal," was all that Bagoas said as he grabbed what he was looking for. Arladoas watched him go. He still could not figure out why Bagoas refused to get along with Cassander, and why he refused to say Hephaestion's name now that he was dead, even though he cursed his name plenty while he was living. Sighing, he boy sat back down before his own meal, and continued to read Hephaestion's copy of the Iliad, which he had given to him in his last will. It was a wonderful story, no matter how familiar it seemed.

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A/N: As always, reviews and comments, or even questions are welcome. Until the next update, I wish everyone the best of times.

Arlad: Thanks so much for your dedicated reviews and comments. I added an oas to your penname and hope that such is okay with you for naming my new character. If not, don't be afraid to let me know, and I shall change it immediately if it is not to your liking.

Angstman: I hope that your question was answered in the above. I would have written to you sooner, yet your review left no way for me to get in contact with you.