Title: "Letters"

Author: Baliansword

Chapter: 11, "The Indus and Malli"

A/N: As always I appreciate the reviews. I know, I get a little sad when I write this, because it is rather hard to swallow. But thank you so much for the support.

H/N: This takes place in 326 BC where Alexander united his forces at the Indus. Which means he got reunited with Hephaestion! Also, the army later goes to Malli where Alexander overthrows the power there and takes it for his own.

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"Here," Cassander said as he placed the plate down on the bed. He held the cup of watered wine in his hand and decided to carefully set it down on the stand next to the bed. Alexander barely noticed his presence. He was instead turning through pages of the volume that seemed perhaps would be never ending. Cassander paused for a moment before he decided that he would say nothing more. It was then, however, that Alexander glanced up as if he had just noticed Cassander was in the room.

The desperation in his eyes was enough to make Cassander falter in the steps he was taking to leave. Pausing, he looked at his friend, and found himself stopping. He stood quietly and turned further around to face Alexander. There was silence between them, yet their eyes were telling tales to one another that others would never know. Taking a step closer, Cassander sat carefully at the edge of the bed. Silently he then placed his hand over Alexander's. Then, he did the unthinkable. Cassander leaned closer, and pressed his lips lightly against Alexander's.

"I would take it from you," Cassander whispered against Alexander's cheek. His hand was still resting against Alexander's and the warmth there soothed them both. Cassander did not move for a moment. He merely let his breath linger against Alexander's skin. Again, he softly let words drift over Alexander's flesh. "I would take the pain from you, Alexander, if I could conquer such a feat."

"I know you would," the other whispered back as tears began to descend down his warm cheeks. Crying, he wrapped his arms around Cassander's neck and held him against him. Finally, he sunk against Cassander's chest, and let the tears fall freely. Cassander obligingly wrapped his arms around Alexander and held him, feeling each shake against his chest as the king sobbed. He was not like any others. He did not loose respect for Alexander when he saw his flooding emotions. Instead, he beheld Alexander the highest he ever had and likely ever would.

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Alexander,9th of April, 326

We have conquered the Indus. That is nothing new to you. However, today I did not want to speak of the Indus when I saw you. There was so much to tell you though. There were so many things I had the men change for you. I myself even constructed some of the new weaponry holds that shall supply you with your newest arms before the invasion of the Mallian. I heard that you would be arriving from the scouts that you sent ahead and in my mind I knew what to tell you. I planned it to be perfect, to be as a general should, and blandly state the changes in the conditions here since you last received word.

When I saw you, I could not do that though. Instead I could only gawk at your magnanimous figure as you dismounted Bucephalus. That horse gets older every year, might I add, yet like you never looses any conviction. You dismounted and I believe the world stopped spinning. At least it did in my mind, for I could only look at you. You are breathtaking, as always.

We have been apart too long, that I know, yet seeing you felt like the first time. I always enjoy that feeling. Your hair was a golden that I believed I had never seen before. It made your statues, your gold, and all of Persia's treasure look drab. The breeze lifted stray stands of your golden hair and lightly dropped them down against your head once more. In that moment I stopped breathing.

Your eyes shone brightly and I thought that perhaps I had never seen them so clearly before. I know that you were not changed. You were still the only thing to look at. When you let go of Bucephalus to let him be led away you then turned your head and cast your eyes upon me. Not only did your eyes smile at me, but also your lips upturned in the same manned, and I felt as if my heart stopped beating. Again, you are breathtaking. You are my demise.

I would fall for you all over again. In fact, I do ever time that I see you. At times I know that you worry about what my heart feels. You shouldn't fear such things. There is only you in my life, and as my demise, I would never ask for you to change. You think that we must stay young and as we are for now. I would never want you to think you must be as you are now.

Over the years you have aged. You have never changed for anything but the better though. As I saw you, brighter and in a shining glorious light, I knew that and remembered it once more. The years have aged you but they only make you all the more admirable. Never would you to me be an old eyesore as you joked to me months ago. There is nothing old about you for everyday you wake, you look as if you have just been given life, and that you have only one day to make the best of it. At no time have I thought you anything but ravishing. In no way could you be anything but that to me.

Oh Alexander, I fear that I failed you today before your men. We both know what they think of me, and what they claim. Perhaps I am not meant to be general. However, I know at other times that I should not let their hatred go to my head. Because they think I do not strive for my position I know that I strive more than ever. I do it for you though, not for myself. I do it for you, because I love you, and you would accept nothing less than perfection from me or the closest thing to it. I fear though, that when I find myself breathless before you that I have not contained my emotions as you would have me do.

There is so much I wish that I could explain to you. Yet when I try you either silence me with tender kisses, of which I never would complain, or I cannot manage to find the words before you are speaking more of your dreams. There is so much to say and I dread that there will never be the time. In my actions I hope that you at least know that I still desire you after all this time. Even though we are no longer young, and our love cannot be let loose so freely, I still love you and only you. I would trade our time together for nothing.

You are right when you say that there are things I may never understand about you. When you say such, you do so with smiles and laughs, joking to soothe your own fears. You say it in such a way in hopes not to frighten me either. You are right though, in those jests. There are things I shall never understand about you. Yet I do not fear those things. I simply accept them because that is what love is. It is being unafraid of even what I will never know.

Know that you are beautiful to me now and forever, Alexander. Today as you wrapped your arms around me I felt safer than I ever have. Finally we are together again and I wish never to be separated from you. If I never say that I love you, in the way that you want though, know only that I do love you. There is so much for me to say to you. So much I should have said today as you embraced me. Instead, I spoke with my eyes, trying to assure you of my love for you. The many months apart changed nothing at all.

Beyond that, I admire you Alexander. I admire the fact that you can love me so easily and I cherish the fact that you can calmly in front of others act as if you do not. There is so much complexity with you. There is everything I love and fear in you because to me you are everything. I love you. I cherish you and regard you above all others. For you I would be stronger if I could, yet cannot, for compared to you I am nothing. And nothing, for now and here on, is all that I would wish to be if it keeps me at your side.

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"Would you have me take this," asked Arladoas as he reached down and placed a hand on the plate Cassander set on the table. Cassander nodded slightly and Arladoas took the plate away. He was glad that Alexander was eating once more. There was no better news to be heard in the palace, for he had clearly looked for other entertainment. Taking the plate, he entered the kitchen, and set the plate down on a large stack. As soon as he did, the stack began to slide.

"Move," said a woman. She shooed him away with a hand. Arladoas happily began to leave the room. He stepped back into the dining hall and he glanced over at Cassander. Cassander was not there though. Clearly he had gone back to Alexander's room, which was nothing out of the ordinary today.

"Arladoas," he heard a voice say, a voice exiting the kitchen he had just been in. He turned to see the owner, Bagoas. Bagoas carried in a hand a vine of grapes and was taking one purple grape at a time and tossing them carefully into his mouth. As usual he was the perfect portrayal of bewitchment.

"Yes?"

"Do you know where Lord Cassander has gone?"

"No. He had left already. You are too late. Why, is there something that needs his immediate attention?"

"Nothing," Bagoas said with the shake of a head. He then retreated out of the room. Arladoas was no fool. He knew what was causing the eunuch to become worried. Since Hephaestion's death Alexander had rarely seen Bagoas. Arladoas could understand his reasoning for such. When he was being sent for less, and Cassander was being sent for more, naturally he worried. Arladoas only shook his head. There was more pain coming from the minds of the men here than the amount of pain in the entire world combined it seemed.

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Alexander,22nd of May, 326

Mallus. We have traveled southeast from both Cos and the Halicarnassus campaigns. For the first time you have used your naval forces, and won the land for your own, adding it to your Empire. However, even though I am pleased, I find myself worried. I know that they distrust you, even though the Mallian people claim to have a strong relation to your Greek ancestors. I distrust them still. That is not my biggest fear though.

My biggest fear is for you.

I sit next to you now, the closest thing I can get to unmoving. I continue to wait for you to come to coherency. The cut at your side is deep but Philip assures me that you will be fine. There are only four stitches only and a salve is wrapped around the wound, pressed tightly against it, protecting it from the infections that linger in the air. I worry for you, because today, you proved again to me many things.

You proved that you are always handsome and that not even blood and gore changes such a statement. You proved to me once more that you are not afraid in the face of danger. Again you also proved to me that you are the greatest leader to have lived, and that perhaps ever shall live. Yet once more you proved to me that the other proofs do not protect you from death. Today you proved, above all else, that you are mortal.

You can be knocked down, cut, and bloodied just as the rest of the legions. This does not bother me in the slightest. It only makes you greater in my eyes. However, I am afraid for you now. What bleeds can be killed and I saw today that you could be killed, should the worthiest opponent arise. Alexander, for the first time, I want you to stop. I want you to stop now and be happy with the Empire you have already acquired. That is what I want, but I know I shall never have it.

Never will you stop. This I know, because I know you like I know my own self. You are Alexander the Great, and that is all that there is to be said. Nothing will ever be enough for you because you believe it should all be yours. The worst thing…is that you deserve it all and it should be all yours. You would not listen to me if I said to return to Babylon and strengthen what you have, to perhaps go back to get the rest of the lands later. That is why I already know I will say nothing to you.

Instead I will remain at your side. I will not turn against you, as you would view it, for I am the only one that never would. You do not ask it of me in words yet I know that is what you want. You want me to remain at your side forever, as I have promised to do, and as I shall do. I cannot go against you. I cannot advise you to stop without doing this. So where am I? I am lost. I am completely lost to you.

What would you do, if you were I?

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H/N: I have been researching Alexander's campaign at Mallus. I tried to keep these letters, and the story line, as accurate as possible with my findings. Yet at the same time, things get confusing with different historians arguing events, as well as some of the major details of the battle. Below are the details that I can say are likely the truest of all.

The claiming of Mallus took place after the initial battle for Halicarnassus.

Many of the same battle plans were used against the Mallian.

Alexander suffered a notable injury at Mallus, however, historians are still disagreeing about what. (Believe me, I search for the true answer)

At Mallus, Hephaestion stood by Alexander as he was wounded, and did not leave his side.

Philip, Alexander's physician, was distrusted by some of the men nearest to Alexander and therefore Alexander was told not to trust him.

Officially, I vow to thoroughly research the battle for Halicarnassus, and I am going to write a very accurate fiction –just for anyone that cares.

A/N: As always, reviews are a joy. You know the drill!