"Me and Gneisenau?" I was sure I hadn't heard that right. "What about us?"
Scharnhorst shot me a look of scorn and contempt. "What, like you weren't drooling over her when she was doing that little fashion show for you?"
I felt my hackles rise at her accusation, but I tried to keep my best to keep things under control. The last thing I wanted was to lose my temper and be blown up twice in one night. "Alright, so yeah, your sister looked sexy in that succubus getup. But there's a difference between me being physically attracted to someone and me being romantically attracted to someone."
"So you were checking her out?" she spat.
"Again, she was asking me to!" I cried out. "It's not like I walked in on her unannounced or spied on her, I knocked on the door, she answered it and asked if I liked her costume. What do you want me to do, Scharnhorst?"
For once, she sputtered and tried to come up with an answer. "Just...don't enjoy it so much, ya perv!" she finally blurted out. "And quit giving her false hope!"
I felt my heart rate quicken as I wondered if I'd missed something. "False hope? Does she have feelings for me?"
"What? No, of course not," Scharnhorst waved her hand dismissively. "She knows she's not your type, but I don't want you putting any funny ideas in her head."
"Well, as long as she doesn't wear that outfit around-" I almost said "the office", but caught myself. I'd forgotten that they'd be officially back to full duty on Monday, and not in the office anymore. "Around the base," I finally continued, "I think we'll be fine. Sorry if I misled anyone."
I think Scharnhorst must've realized the same thing at the same time because I saw a wistful, almost melancholic expression cross her face before she turned away. "Ah, don't worry about it. I'm probably just being the protective big sister. You know how it is." She paused. "Actually...do you have any sisters?"
"Brother," I answered with a smile as I looked out on the lagoon. It was so calm and peaceful, the full moon reflecting off the gently lapping waves… "He's in the army, drives tanks for a living, so we naturally give each other a good ribbing when we finally get together. But I always worry about him, making sure he's staying out of trouble, that sort of thing."
"Parents?"
I shook my head sadly. "Mom died of cancer, and Dad followed not long after. Doctors said it was natural causes, but I think it was a broken heart."
There was a long silence, and I could feel Scharnhorst trying to find the right words to say. "I'm...I'm sorry." She said softly. "I've...we've...never had parents, but I can't imagine it's easy losing family."
"It's hard," I said with a nod, my voice beginning to grow hoarse. "It's hard to lose someone in the first place, it's harder to watch them slowly fade away until there's nothing left."
"Your mom or your dad?"
I took a deep breath as the memories materialized in my mind like ghosts of the past. "Both, really. With Mom it was physical, with Dad, it was...emotional. She started out so strong, but she just got weaker and weaker until there was nothing left. And once she was gone, Dad just...didn't have the will to go on without her. When she left, she took the better part of him with her. I think he held on as long as he did to make sure we were okay, and once he knew, he...let go."
"And were you?"
"Yeah," I sighed, "Yeah, I think we were. Both of us were adults, and both of us knew he wasn't long for this world after Mom passed. They loved each other so fiercely, we'd expected when one went, the other would follow shortly. As crazy as it sounds, that's the kind of love I want to find."
Scharnhorst's tone was incredulous, and I could see the look she was giving me even without turning to face her. "The kind that gets you killed?"
"The kind that never gives up. The kind of love that never wavers, never stops. The kind that fights tooth and nail until the bitter end, until…"
"...the last shell." It wasn't what I was going to say, but Scharnhorst summed it up in her own unique way.
"Until the last shell," I answered, glancing back at her. She was staring intently at me, but with an understanding and admiration I hadn't seen before. "Do not go gentle into that good night."
"What was that?"
"Title of a poem I read back when I was a kid," I smiled. "'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night' by, uh...Dylan Thomas, I think."
Scharnhorst leaned forward, drawing her legs up to her chest. "What's it about?"
"Getting old, but rather than giving up, fighting for all it's worth. I think I still remember it if you want to hear it."
Uncharacteristically, she nodded eagerly, and I smiled softly as I dug deep into the recesses of my brain to dredge up the old poem. I began slowly, haltingly as I struggled to recall the words, but grew faster and more confident as I went on.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
As I finished the poem, the stillness returned, and while it was far from the awkward pause from before, I still found myself anxious. Would the poem be lost on her? Is the dialect too old and awkward? Too wordy? I idly wondered why I cared so much.
After several nerve-wracking seconds, Scharnhorst gave me a tight smile and a nod of approval. "I like it. Fighting all the way to the end, hell of a way to go. Your dad teach you that one?"
"Mom, actually," I smiled back, feeling the strange sensation of relief flooding through me. "She was the bookish, intellectual sort. Dad was the more athletic one. Triathlons, rock climbing, nature hikes, you name it. If it got him up and moving, he was all for it."
"They sound like one hell of an odd pair," she said with a smirk. "How'd they even stand each other, let alone love each other?"
"Somedays, even I don't know," I chuckled as I shook my head. "I think that they helped to balance one another out. He helped her get out of the house, and she kept him grounded. In the end, they got something out of it. Beyond the usual love, affection, warm feelings, that sort of thing."
Scharnhorst looked away with her trademark dismissive snort. "Wouldn't know about any of that lovey-dovey crap. Don't have time for it. I'm meant for fighting, so that's what I'll do."
"Can't be fighting all the time."
For a moment, she looked very, very uneasy, almost frightened, as if she didn't know how to even think about something like that. Her jaw worked up and down as she tried to say something, anything. "Yeah, well, when I'm not fighting, I can train and get ready for the next fight!"
While she put a lot of emotion into those words, something in her tone had me doubting whether she believed in them or not. But it was late, I was tired, and I'd just been blown up, so I didn't push the issue. "Alright, have it your way," I said with a resigned shrug. "If it makes you happy, I won't stop you."
A derisive scowl crossed her face momentarily, rapidly replaced by an all-too-familiar smug grin. "Not like you could if you tried."
"Ha ha," I snarkily replied as I tried(and failed) to scowl at her. "One of these days, I'll take you down."
"Oh?" she playfully asked, her eyebrow arching above her eye. "And when would that be? Sometime soon I hope, the novelty of knocking you flat on your ass has almost worn off. ...almost."
Just then, a sudden, unwelcome thought popped into my head, and I abandoned our playful banter to ask a more serious question. "With you moving to the fleet...do you still want to have our lunchtime sparring sessions? When you aren't out on patrol or training, that is."
She didn't even give it a second thought. "Of course!" she answered. "I've enjoyed our matches, and you still need a lot of help on your fencing."
Unconsciously, I reached up to where I'd gotten knocked in the head the week prior and grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, well, I'd like to think I've gotten better."
"Indeed, you've finally mastered the fine art of ducking," she grinned playfully. "Only took you, what, a month?"
"I swear…"
"Yeah, you do that a lot when I'm flipping you," she nonchalantly interrupted.
I knew when I was beaten. "Alright, alright, you win…"
"Again."
"...yes, again," I sighed as I stood up and dusted myself off. "But as much fun as this has been, I think it's time I got to bed. You gonna stay out here a bit longer?"
She looked out at the training lagoon and nodded slowly. "Yeah," she sighed. "Need to get these guns calibrated better before training starts in earnest next week."
"If I see Gneisenau on the way back, I'll let her know where you are. Good night!"
"Good night," she said absentmindedly. As I turned to leave, she called out to me. "And Commander?"
"Yeah?" I turned back to find her facing me, an uncertain smile on her face.
"Thanks for checking on me."
I smiled back. "Anytime. Happy Halloween, Scharnhorst."
"Happy Halloween, Commander."
Fortunately, I didn't run into anyone on the way back home, and I easily swung the door open to my darkened apartment. Which was odd, because I could have sworn I locked it earlier when I left. Exhausted, I chalked it up to simple negligence on my part and shut the door behind me. As I turned on the light, I thought I heard a faint gasp from a darkened corner of the room, but when I went to investigate, I found nothing. At the time, I assumed it was my imagination playing tricks on me, and simply shuffled off to bed. I wouldn't find out what was going on until much later…
Aside from sore muscles over the weekend, I recovered relatively well from my explosive encounter with Scharnhorst and was ready to face my new secretary. I only hoped she wouldn't make things especially creepy or awkward. Against my better judgment (and much to Scharnhorst's great amusement), I had selected Taihou to replace her and Gneisenau as my aide.
To my great surprise, when I got to the office, I found Taihou hard at work, a rather large stack of completed reports and forms already awaiting my review and signature. She looked up from her work, saw me, and broke out into a broad, proud smile as she stood from her desk and sashayed over to me.
"Good morning, Shikikan-sama," she purred as she forced a hot cup of coffee into my hands. "Did you sleep well? I've taken the liberty of getting started for the day."
"Th-thank you," I numbly muttered as I looked down at the coffee cup in my hands, then to the reports stacked neatly on my desk. I was stunned, almost in awe of how quickly she was able to acclimate herself to the job at hand. I was still gazing in wonderment at her work when I felt her guiding the coffee cup to my lips and absently took a sip. As soon as the liquid hit my tongue, I was snapped out of my dazed state, shocked into action by how delicious it was.
"This is...perfect!" I whispered as I peered at the delectable beverage. "How did you…?"
"Ah ah ah," Taihou playfully scolded, "A lady never reveals her secrets. Now, Commander, how about we begin the workday…"
And so, my first day with Taihou as my secretary was off to an excellent start. In fact, the entire morning breezed by. I honestly can't think of a more efficient or dedicated secretary, before or since. Unfortunately, that efficiency was undermined by her...possessive nature, which didn't start to reveal itself until lunch.
"Shikikan-sama, perhaps you'd like to join me for a bento box in the academy pavilion today?" she asked as she finished filing the last of the morning's paperwork.
"Sounds tempting," I slowly replied as I checked Scharnhorst's schedule. "But I've got a standing sparring date with Scharnhorst at lunch."
Taihou reacted with mild surprise, a sculpted eyebrow arching curiously over her ruby eye. "Oh? I didn't know you were still keeping that sort of thing going. Weren't you doing it just to placate her?"
"Maybe at first," I shrugged, "But it's been a good way for both of us to let out our tensions and just...be each other."
She frowned as she strode over to me, running her hands along my shoulders, gently rubbing them through my jacket. "I can relieve your tensions, Shikikan-sama," she said, her voice low and seductive. "All of your tensions…"
I rapidly broke contact, taking a few quick steps away from her to get some much-needed distance between us. "I, ah, appreciate the offer, Taihou, but I'd hate to leave Scharnhorst in the lurch, and we've already agreed to keep things going as long as our schedules match up."
Her smile stayed on, but it transformed from one of imminent bliss to one that barely masked frustration. "I...see…" she said through clenched teeth. "Well, then, I will leave you to it and hope she does not injure you further, Commander…"
Before I could say anything, she spun around on her heel and marched back to her desk. I decided that staying and trying to get her to see my reasoning would be an ultimately foolish waste of time, not to mention make me late for my date with Scharnhorst, so I simply left.
I found Scharnhorst waiting for me, an extra pair of sparring gear in her hands and a big grin on her face. "Thought you were gonna be late for a second," she teased as she tossed me the protective equipment.
I grabbed the gear as best I could and began to pull it on with an apologetic smile. "Almost was. Taihou was a little annoyed that we were still doing this."
"Telling ya, Commander," she warned as she began her warm-up stretches, "She's gonna be trouble for you."
"Honestly, she's probably one of the best secretaries I've had," I shrugged in between my own stretches. "If her grousing about how I spend my lunch is the worst thing I'll have to deal with, I think I'll manage somehow."
Even before she said anything, I could see that mischievous glint in her eye. "Best secretaries, huh?" she teased. "I mean, I was no angel, but throwing me and my sister under the bus that quick...that's cold, Admiral. Just cold."
"You didn't even want to be there!" I countered as I took my starting position.
"Yeah, but you didn't have to come in here on the first day and brag about how great our replacement is," she shot back as she began to probe at my defenses. "Have some decency."
"Said the lady who blew me up over the weekend," I grinned back, taking a few initial strikes.
"You had it coming," she chuckled. "And it was fun to watch you go flying."
I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. "Are you serioooooo-" My question trailed off into a wordless cry as once again, she managed to catch me off guard before sending me flying through the air and back down onto the mat. "...goddammit."
As always, Scharnhorst's face popped into my view, with her usual smug, satisfied grin. "Not really," she admitted cheerfully. "I honestly was worried about your safety for a minute, there. But I feel like it's something we can all look back on and have a laugh about now that it's far behind us."
"It was two days ago."
"Some people just can't let things go," she sighed as she clucked her tongue admonishingly. "Need to put the past behind you, Commander."
"Scharnhorst…" I warned her.
"Alright, alright." She relented, but to my surprise, she didn't offer me a hand up. Instead, she took a seat next to me, peering searchingly at me with her single eye. "Speaking of showing off my gunnery skills, I was thinking. How often do you go to fleet exercises?"
"Not often," I answered slowly as I sat up, wondering just where this was headed. "They're pretty routine, and I can just as easily read the after-action report. Why do you ask?"
"Gneisenau and I are having our first fleet exercise on Wednesday, and I was wondering if you'd come along. While you've seen your kansen in action dozens of times, you've never been able to appreciate the skill and determination of the Iron Blood before."
Something she said caught my interest and I glanced over at her, peering searchingly at her for a change. "You were wondering? Not we were wondering?"
Her grin died, and her cheeks grew red as she realized she'd been caught out. She looked away, attempting to give me a playful shove, but the gesture was as weak as her attempted defense. "Y-yeah, well, Gneisenau really doesn't mind that you haven't seen her at her best, but I do, and I want you to see I'm a valuable asset to your fleet! That I'm not just all talk." When I didn't immediately answer, she added, "I-it's not like it's a date or anything!"
I chuckled softly at her outburst, but there was something in her voice, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Worry? Apprehension? Wounded pride? Whatever it was, it was bothering her and I didn't want to add to that negativity. "Yeah," I said with a smile, "I'd love to come see you in action. I'll clear my schedule and stop by to observe the exercise first hand."
Scharnhorst smiled, the relief evident on her face, then suddenly, the smile changed into her teasing, predatory grin, and I knew I'd made a mistake somewhere. "Come see me, not come see us…"
"Oh no," I warned her, "Don't you start…"
"Nearly kill a man and next thing you know he's head over heels for you…"
"I'm warning you…"
"Of course, I already had you literally head over heels…"
"Scharnhorst…"
A/N-Things mended and combat looms on the horizon! Think this is the longest I've gone without combat in any of my stories thus far. Actually, I think this story is going to be the longest on a few fronts… In any case, until next time, fair winds and following seas!
