I flipped through the stack of incomplete reports as I tried to find the annual fuel consumption logs when I heard a quiet, but insistent, cough from across my desk. Already knowing what I'd find, I slowly turned my gaze up to my secretary, who already had the report I needed in her hands.
"Was it this document my Commander needed? I know it was, naturally," she beamed. She'd been my secretary for two weeks and I still had no idea how she was able to predict exactly what I'd need. While it was extremely helpful, it was also downright scary at times.
"Thanks," I quietly mumbled as I began going through it. "And the…"
No sooner were the words out of my mouth than the needed folder was held out to me, awaiting my signature. "Right here, Shikikan."
I quickly signed it, and despite being almost certain of what the answer would be, I dared to ask one last question. "Scharnhorst available for our sparring sessions?"
Taihou pouted and shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Commander. Training again."
"Damn," I sighed and turned to look out the window, wondering just what was conspiring to keep us apart. "And you talked with Enterprise about getting her training shifted around so we could have lunch together?"
Again, the overdramatic pout and a sad, slow nod of her head. "She said Scharnhorst was happy where she was and that she didn't want to interrupt the flow of her training regimen." While I wasn't too happy about it, I was at least glad that she was finding her place amongst the other shipgirls. "Well...thanks for asking, anyway, Taihou."
"Anything for my Commander," she said with a low bow. There was a momentary silence as we both waited for her to ask the same question she'd been asking since she first took over as my secretary. "Since she won't be joining you for lunch...perhaps...you would like to join me?"
I'd rebuffed her every day, preferring to work through lunch, but with the prospect of spending time with Scharnhorst gone, at least for the time being, I finally relented. "Alright," I sighed. "I'll go with you."
To her credit, she didn't gloat or get giddy with excitement as I expected. Instead, she graced me with a warm, genuinely happy smile as she bowed again. "Thank you, my Commander. Once I get this filed, would you like to head out? I hear they're trying bento boxes today."
"How fortuitous," I said, forcing a smile as I tried to suppress that little feeling of doubt and dread in the back of my head.
"Indeed it is," she agreed. "I'd like to take credit for setting it up, but the galley has been extremely resistant to my menu suggestions. Instead, I will take it as yet another sign from the Gods that our union is meant to be!"
While that entire sentence should have put up more red flags than an Iron Blood rally, the only thing I focused on was a single word. "Gods? As in plural?"
Her ruby eyes widened and she nodded eagerly. "Oh, yes! We have ten million Gods in the Sakura Empire, each one for their appointed place and purpose."
The number sent me reeling as I tried to process that number. "Ten...million…" I numbly repeated. "How...how do you worship all of them properly?"
"Very carefully," she said with a playful giggle. "I'll explain on the way to lunch. Now let's go, my Commander! Can't have you working on an empty stomach…"
As she dragged me to my feet, I glanced down at the unfinished reports. "But what about the…"
"Oh, don't worry about it," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "We're well ahead of schedule. Now come."
On the way down to the mess hall, she wrapped her arm around mine as we walked together, a bright, proud smile on her face as she explained the finer points of worship in the Sakura Empire. While I still wasn't sure about Taihou, I also didn't see the harm in allowing her this little bit of happiness. And who knows, perhaps there was something between us after all? At least, that was what I kept telling myself in the hopes that I'd believe it eventually.
Once we had grabbed our bento boxes, we took a seat in a quiet corner of the mess hall, and I realized she'd taken us to where Scharnhorst and I had our usual lunches. Was it a coincidence or had this been a deliberate choice on her part? I dispelled such errant thoughts with a shake of my head. I was getting paranoid, and it would only serve to distract me from my lunch companion.
I glanced over at Taihou as she lifted the lid off of the bento box and let out a happy gasp, pausing to admire the work put into it before she set the lid aside. "I take it you're happy with the galley's take on Sakura cuisine?" I asked with a smile.
"It's sublime!" she excitedly answered. "It's just like back home. They must have done their homework to get it so accurate." She looked up at me, then froze in horror. "Commander, are you...are you using a fork?"
I looked up from my own bento, just millimeters away from skewering a piece of shrimp on said utensil. "...yes?"
Without warning, she snatched the fork out of my hand as she emphatically shook her head. "No no no no no. You must use chopsticks when eating a bento box!" she declared as she forced a pair of them into my now-empty hand.
I peered down at the lacquered sticks as my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I, uh," I slowly started, setting them aside, "I...don't know how to use chopsticks."
Taihou looked at me as if I'd grown three heads and began spitting lightning from all of them. "Not even the girls from the Dragon Empery taught you?" When I slowly shook my head, she simply smiled warmly and shrugged. "Well, in that case, allow me to teach you." She paused and gave me a sultry, seductive look. "Unless you want me to feed you every delicious morsel myself…"
"N-no no," I stammered, "No need for that. I think the lesson will suffice."
She mock pouted, huffing playfully before she finally relented. "If you say so, Commander. I guess that will have to wait for another day. Now, if you'll give me your hand…"
Hesitantly, I held out my hand to her and she pressed her chopsticks into my outstretched palm. With a great deal of patience and a reassuring smile on her face, she instructed me in the finer points of chopstick usage. Eventually, I got the hang of it and I tentatively picked up a piece of shrimp and managed to get it into my mouth without dropping it.
"Well done, my Commander!" She cheered softly. "I knew you could do it! I'm sure you could take to other Sakura customs just as easily…"
Feeling more confident, I grabbed a tempura sweet potato slice as I raised an eyebrow at her. "Such as?"
"Perhaps attending a shrine ceremony or two. With my help and guidance, of course."
"Of course," I dryly agreed. "Problem is, that we have no shrine here on the base."
"You could build one!"
I idly wondered just how far she would be willing to fight me on it, and decided to test her. "I could, but it seems like a waste of resources for just two people."
I could see the flash of disappointment on her face, but to my dismay, she didn't push back, instead nodding politely. "Of course, Shikikan. As you desire. Perhaps when there are more Sakura girls here."
"Perhaps," I sighed. For a moment, I was hoping she would fight back, to challenge me on something she felt so strongly about. Or did she? "I take it this is really important to you."
"It is," she admitted before she waved her hand dismissively. "But I will abide by your wishes, my Commander."
I could barely muster up the strength to give her a fake smile as I felt my heart sink. Another girl off the list. "Thank you, Taihou."
After lunch, we got back to work, and once again, Taihou was to be commended for her diligence and efficiency. I'd never had a better secretary, before or since. In fact, I probably would have issued her a commendation for her work had events not unfolded the way they did.
We'd managed to actually finish early for the day, and instead of heading straight home, I decided to swing by the training lagoon to check in with Scharnhorst personally and see how she was doing. By the time I made it down there, it looked like training had just ended and everyone was heading off in their own separate directions. For a second, I was worried I didn't get there in time, but I caught sight of her chatting happily with Gneisenau and trotted over to them.
As soon as she turned to face me, the smile on Scharnhorst's face died and the temperature surrounding her dropped several degrees. "About damn time," she coldly greeted me, folding her arms over her chest. "Took you long enough."
Gneisenau shot me a somewhat sympathetic, yet still chilly glance before she turned and exited the area, leaving just Scharnhorst and myself. "I'm...sorry…?" I slowly apologized, still unsure of what was going on. "Did I miss something?"
"Our sparring sessions," she bitterly spat. "Remember those? I kept showing up but you never did. I'd stand there like an idiot for half an hour before going to lunch by myself. Where the hell were you, you jackass?"
My mind raced as my stomach began doing backflips. Had I ignored a message, was there something I missed? "I thought...Taihou said your schedule had changed…" I tried to explain, the words tumbling from my mouth as I wracked my brain. "I-I even told her to ask Enterprise to change your training schedule back at least once a week!"
"Sounds like someone didn't get the message," Scharnhorst retorted with a scowl. "And lemme guess, my gift got 'misplaced', too, didn't it?"
At this point, the revelations were coming faster than I could handle them. "G-gift?" I stammered. "You...you got me a gift?"
Scharnhorst saw the look on my face and a ripple of shock went through her, her body briefly tensing up before she looked away, her cheeks red. "Tch. Don't go making a big deal out of this, or anything. Besides, you didn't even get it so who cares?"
My heart felt like it was being crushed as I realized just how much I'd hurt her, albeit inadvertently. "God, Scharnhorst, I...I'm so sorry. I didn't know any of this was going on-"
"Yeah, well, now you know," she snapped.
"I do," I resolutely nodded in agreement. "I do, and now I'm going to make this right. I can't get back the two weeks, but I'm going to make damn sure this doesn't happen again. I've got to go, but when I have everything corrected, I'll contact you, okay?"
She didn't turn back to face me, keeping the left side to me so I couldn't look into her eye. "Do whatever you want, I don't care."
To this day, those words still cut deep. I wanted to say more, to reassure her that things would be better, but I also knew she was beyond hearing me at this point. So I turned and ran off to find Enterprise.
At least some luck was still with me, and I was able to find Enterprise fairly still striding towards her quarters, no doubt attempting to skip a good meal in lieu of ration bars. "Enterprise!" I called after her, waving her down as she glanced over her shoulder.
"Commander, are you okay?" she asked as she came to a stop and eyed me up and down as I fought to catch my breath.
"Depends on your answer," I finally managed to get out before I fully catch my breath. Damn. Missing two weeks of sparring had really taken it out of me. "Did Taihou get in touch with you about scheduling issues within the past week or so?"
Enterprise looked at me as if I were drunk and slowly nodded. "Yes, sir. She asked me to pass along a message to Scharnhorst that you wouldn't be able to make your usual sparring times and for her to just do something else instead." A cold fury bloomed within me as I realized what Taihou had been doing this entire time. She must have seen the anger in my eyes because she looked at me, then asked, "That wasn't what she was supposed to tell me, was it, sir?"
"No, Enterprise," I growled out through clenched teeth. "It was not. She informed me you had moved your training times and your team's lunch no longer meshed with mine. And when I asked her to see if you could move it back, she said she was unable to convince you and that Scharnhorst was perfectly happy where she was."
The normally stoic Enterprise carrier flinched at that and slowly shook her head. "While I don't think I've ever seen Scharnhorst truly happy outside of combat, she was certainly unhappy when I shared your-...Taihou's request, sir."
At this point, the cold fury was very rapidly turning into a boiling hot rage, and I had to do everything in my power to stop myself from screaming invectives into the sky. I took a deep, calming breath, and closed my eyes as I exhaled, slowly letting out some of the anger before facing Enterprise again. "Go find Taihou and send her to my office," I ordered, "And then wait thirty minutes and send Albacore."
She fixed me with a puzzled look. "Sir?"
"You have your orders, Enterprise," I answered, not deigning to explain myself at the moment. "Carry them out."
Always the model kansen, she nodded, saluted sharply, and strode off to find Taihou. In the meantime, I needed to get back to my office and await her arrival…
As soon as I got to the office, I tore the place apart in the hopes that Taihou had simply misplaced or hidden the gift Scharnhorst had given me. But as I slid the last drawer back into place, I could only assume the worst.
No sooner had the drawer locked in place with a click than the door swung open, and Taihou stepped inside, blissfully unaware of the storm that awaited her. She smiled at me, that smile dying when she saw the deadly serious expression on my face. "Is something the matter, Shikikan? Has someone upset you?"
"Yes, you have," I pointedly answered, some of my anger bleeding into my words. "After work, I went to speak with Scharnhorst today and she informed me that her schedule has magically cleared up. In addition to that, she said she gave me a gift, but it seems to have never made its way into my hands. Perhaps you could shed some light on that?"
While I wasn't expecting her to lie further, the candor with which she answered was shocking. "That gift she gave you? Oh, I threw that out. Why wouldn't I? Only my things belong on your desk." As she finished, she gave me a smile devoid of any remorse or pity. When I didn't say anything, mostly because I was trying to find a way to communicate without bellowing at her, she continued to dig her own grave. "She wasn't good for you, Commander. Always arguing with you, hurting you. She almost killed you on Halloween!"
My blood ran cold and I stared her down, almost afraid to ask the obvious question. "How do you know about that? Scharnhorst wouldn't have told you and I went straight ho…" Then it all snapped into place. The unlocked door, the quiet gasp, all of it. I hadn't imagined it, it was her. "...home. You were in my apartment that night, weren't you?"
Again, her cheerful calm was deeply unsettling and infuriating. "Of course. How else am I supposed to watch you sleep?"
A dozen questions swirled amid a torrent of horror and rage. "How did you even get in?"
"It's obvious, isn't it?" she shrugged nonchalantly as if she wasn't admitting to a massive invasion of privacy and breach of trust. "You always lock your door, so I copied the key."
"You what?!" I exploded. "I keep it locked for a reason, Taihou!"
To my utter astonishment, she actually nodded in agreement with me. "Yes, of course, to keep other people out, but our love knows no boundaries, my-"
"Don't even finish that sentence!" I roared. For the first time, she balked, and all color drained her face as the magnitude of her error finally became apparent. The room was a silent as the grave, and I waited another minute before speaking again, my voice low and icy cold. "Get out."
"But I-"
"I said get the fuck out," I snarled. "You're confined to quarters, and I mean your quarters for the rest of the night. I'll have a new assignment drawn up for you in the morning."
She looked absolutely heartbroken, and part of me still wonders how much it truly hurt her when I cast her aside. But the other part, and by far the greater part, didn't care. If she was willing to sabotage relationships, lie to me, and invade my privacy without a second thought, I sure as hell wasn't going to lose any sleep telling her to pound sand. Without another word, she fled the room, leaving the door wide open.
With a heavy sigh, I leaned back against my desk as much of the rage and fury bled away, leaving me feeling drained. I was still slumped against the desk, staring blankly at the wall ahead when Albacore came bounding into the room, full of energy as usual.
"Reporting for duty, sir!" she happily chirped as she came to a stop in front of me.
"Good evening, Albacore," I quietly replied. "Sorry to bother you so late in the evening, but I want you to do me a favor."
"A favor, huh?" she theatrically stroked her chin while giving me a playful wink and a smile. "Anything, Commander, you know that!"
While it was weak and tired, I still managed to return her infectious smile. "I do, indeed. I'm sending Taihou out on long-range patrol, and I want you to go with her. Keep an eye on her, make friends with her, that sort of thing. Think you can handle that for me?"
She seemed to give it some serious thought before asking, "How long will we be gone?"
"About two weeks."
Albacore nodded, then gave a big grin and a thumbs up. "Can do, sir! We'll be besties by the time we're back in port!" She turned to go, then paused and turned back to me. "Commander, does this have anything to do with Taihou throwing out that package on your desk?"
I immediately perked back up, hoping against hope. "What package on my desk?"
"The one Taihou threw out two days ago. Said it was delivered by mistake, but I saw your name on it plain as day."
Without thinking, I rushed forward, grabbing the submarine by the shoulders, probably startling the poor thing. "Where? Where did she throw it out?"
"I-in the dumpster behind the office, but-mmmph!" The remainder of her answer was muffled as I hugged her tightly before I dashed out the door.
I raced down the corridors, out the door, and around the building to the large metal dumpster we used for non-classified trash. For once, I was glad there was a general prohibition on eating food in the HQ before I threw open the lid and dove inside. In the fading light of the evening, it was hard to find what I was looking for, but I felt my fingers close around something heavier than random paper shreds. I tore the trash bag open and sifted through the crumpled papers until I pulled out a small package, simply but neatly wrapped and tied up with twine. A card was still nestled beneath the string, and as much as I wanted to read it, I had to make amends first.
After stopping off at my apartment to drop off the gift, I headed back to Gneisenau and Scharnhorst's shared quarters and knocked on the door. Gneisenau answered, her eyebrow slightly raised at the sight of me.
"Herr Kommandant, this is an unexpected visit. Is everything alright?" she asked, and for a second, I realized I must have looked like a mess considering I'd just gone dumpster diving and ran all over the base.
"Oh, don't worry about it, it's fine," I began, before rapidly reversing my decision. "Well, no, it's not fine, which is why I'm here. I'm trying to fix what isn't fine. On that note, can you come back as secretary, starting tomorrow? Even if it's just temporary."
Her eyebrow lowered as she stared at me with a now increasingly concerned expression. "I can...did something happen to Taihou?"
"She's...been reassigned on an...urgent patrol," I vaguely replied. "And when she gets back, she won't be resuming her duties as my secretary."
Gneisenau eyed me for a few more seconds before nodding slowly. "Very well...is there anything else you needed?
"Yes, if I could speak with Scharnhorst, please."
She glanced over her shoulder and gestured to someone out of my view before turning back to me. "She's coming, and I'll leave you two to talk privately."
Scharnhorst came around the corner, and I could still feel the icy waves radiating off of her, her blue eye as hard and unforgiving as I'd ever seen it. She waited until Gneisenau was out of earshot before she spoke, and when she did, her tone was harsh and unforgiving. "What do you want?"
Her brusque manner took me back, but I steeled myself for the argument and pressed on. "I came to apologize. Taihou was playing both of us, and I didn't spot it and for that, I am deeply, truly sorry. I did manage to find your gift, however, and I've cleared things up with Enterprise if you wanted to go back to our sparring sessions."
For a fraction of a second, her expression softened, and I caught a glimpse of that vulnerable woman beneath before it vanished behind her steely defenses. "Yeah, well, I think that I need to focus on my training. Fighting you was fun and all, but I've gotta get ready for the real thing and I don't need to be distracted the next time you get played by some ditzy carrier with overstuffed torpedo bulges."
"Scharnhorst-"
"Good night, Commander." With that, she shut the door in my face, leaving me alone with a heavy heart.
When I finally made it back to my apartment, I shut the door behind me and locked every lock on it before doing a thorough search to make sure I was truly alone. Once I was satisfied that nobody else was with me, I began to take off my shirt and get ready for bed. As I tossed the jacket on the chair, I caught sight of Scharnhorst's gift. I felt the lump form in my throat and my heart twisted itself into knots as I looked down at it.
At first, I didn't want to open it. We seemed to no longer be friends, or even acquaintances, just a ship and her commanding officer, so finding out what this was would only be a knife to the heart I really didn't need. On the other hand, this may be the last thing she would share with me, and I truly would be abandoning this friendship if I didn't at least open it.
With a trembling hand, I pulled the small card from beneath the string and opened it. In Scharnhorst's terse script were two short sentences.
I'm no good at this sort of thing, but you like poetry and hopefully, you'll learn from this. Still gotta duck, though.
-Scharnhorst
My heartache was temporarily forgotten, put aside by my growing curiosity. I tore off the string and paper to reveal a small book. While the book itself was relatively thin, it was leather-bound, with gilded edges along the page. It looked as if it were taken straight out of the middle ages.
"Recital on the Chivalric Art of Fencing by Johannes Liechtenauer," I muttered as I read the cover aloud before I flipped it open. Inside was what I could only assume was an ancient treatise on blossfechten, written in German in a rhyming couplet. A translated version of it was printed beside it, and while it wasn't rhyming, it would help me understand the lessons it sought to teach much easier.
I marveled at such a thoughtful and touching gift, and the sudden realization that I'd lost something this precious was suddenly too much to bear. I clutched the book to my chest as tears streamed down my face, mourning what I'd managed to lose…
A/N-Well, that was depressing. We'll have to see if those two can patch things up, or if this'll be my first tragedy. Until next time, fair winds and following seas!
