Lex talionis
Chapter 20. A light in the dark
Jubal had never regretted so much that he had not learned more Spanish in his entire life.
To be treated at the hospital, they were immediately separated. They put an IV in and re-stitched the shoulder wound, right there in the emergency room. The drip must have had some sedative in it, because afterwards he couldn't help falling asleep.
He had woken up not knowing where he was a few hours later, when it was already dark outside. While he was sleeping, they had taken him upstairs to a room and had removed his wet clothes.
But he knew nothing about Isobel or Darío and now he had been trying for he didn't know how long for someone to tell him how they were doing, without making himself understood. The only thing he could get was to be told 'lie down, please' repeatedly. At least, by signaling, Jubal had managed to get a pair of pajamas, which he preferred to the hospital gown. A short time later, they brought his things to him in a plastic box.
He wanted to call Maggie and his children, but although the cell phone Roberto had given him was in the box, she found that it had not survived the dive. And his was in his backpack, in Darío's bullet-riddled rental car, miles away. He was grateful that no one had kept his watch, a rather expensive model due to its resistance and precision. He put it on his wrist. It was 4:17 a.m. local time. He had been asleep and arguing with the nurses longer than he thought...
His mind wouldn't stop spinning the same thing. What were they going to do now? Would Vargas take their word for it if they simply told him that Sofía and Carlos were alive? Should they do that at all? Trading their lives for maybe making Sofía and Carlos' lives a living hell didn't seem like a morally sound option. A frantic despair seethed within him. He had to meet with Isobel. Not just because he feared she would do something foolish under the circumstances; even if he had no idea what she might do, it would never have occurred to him that Isobel would go all the way to México to look for the murderers of the Vargas family. No, it was also because he felt he needed her to regain his own calm. Besides, what if Isobel had had some complication? She was having a hard time breathing when they pulled apart. He was very worried about Darío as well. When they arrived at the hospital he had a pulse, but he had bled a lot...
He couldn't just stand there. He got up and picked up his shoes. He would go and look for them himself. He would find them even if he had to walk all over the hospital wearing pajamas -he would liked to get dressed, but his clothes were torn and stained with blood- and with wet feet.
When Jubal opened the door, he found two uniformed guadianacional there watching his door. One of them raised a hand, blocking his way. The other one politely told him in accented but correct English that he could not leave the room, that they would come to talk to him soon. No, he was not under arrest. No, they could not tell him anything else. Jubal insisted, but did not get anything else. Jubal then asked them to please find out something about Isobel and Darío; they vaguely replied that they would see what they could do and to, please, wait in the room.
Kicking off his wet shoes, Jubal sat on the bed trying to think what he could do in the meantime. He walked anxious around the room. He looked at the clock. 4:26. How was it possible that only 9 minutes had passed? Time is undoubtedly made of an elastic fabric.
All right. He was not under arrest. Okay. Then he could go wherever he wanted. He got up and put on his shoes again. He was about to leave when one of the guadianacional opened the door to his room, ushering in two men. Jubal stopped in his tracks.
One was taller than the other and both had a certain Latin look. While the tall one, who must have been about Jubal's age, was full-fleshed, with gray hair and a tanned complexion, was dressed in a suit, the short one, somewhat younger, had paler skin but black hair and eyes, and wore more casual clothes, dark pants and T-shirt, a leather jacket on his arm.
Jubal guessed that they were Darío's fellow agents in the GN. He looked at them warily.
The shorter one, Ugarte said that was his name, was an officer at the GN station there in Montemorelos, while the taller one introduced himself as Rafael Arenas, and it turned out he was the Supervisory Special Agent at the FBI Office of the US consulate in Monterrey. Apparently, the New York office had contacted them to assist him and Isobel.
Jubal accepted the offered hand and breathed a little easier. At least they had some backup.
"Agent Valentine, may you tell me what the hell happened up there beyond Agua Dulce?" asked Ugarte without further ado.
"Before I answer, I need you to tell me if GN Agent Montero and Special Agent in Charge Isobel Castille are okay," Jubal said tensely.
"Agent Valentine, if you don't cooperate-"
"No. You don't understand me. If you don't give me that information right now this conversation is over," Jubal dug in his heels with a stubborn expression.
Ugarte seemed just really frustrated.
"I think I'll be able to help with that," Arenas interceded.
·~·~·
Arenas and Ugarte accompanied him to the room where Isobel was, which had another pair of guardianacional guarding its door. Jubal took a breath and knocked twice with his knuckles.
"Isobel? I'm Jubal. May I come in?"
When he received no response, he opened the door a crack.
Isobel was lying in bed, only slightly propped up, with an IV in her arm, and the vitals monitor attached. She was very still, eyes closed, face covered by an oxygen mask.
The image was superimposed on that of Rina lying bedridden in the ICU and Jubal was literally breathless, paralyzed with an immense and acute fear that bordered on insanity.
But then, Isobel blinked and, turning her face toward him, looked up at him with those huge black eyes of hers. Despite the darkness in them, she began to smile at him. The feeling of relief turned Jubal's knees to jelly. He entered the room somewhat hesitantly. The men accompanying him followed several paces behind.
Isobel pulled her mask slightly aside.
"Jubal," she sighed, a little out of breath.
The way she said his name, eager but simply delighted to see him, gave him giant butterflies in his stomach, and made him smile in return. Jubal was about to run over to hug her and make sure she was okay, not caring if it would be inappropriate or not, but then he remembered that they weren't alone. It infuriated him to know that if he asked Arenas and Ugarte for a few minutes alone they would probably think he was trying to agree with Isobel on her statement.
So he stayed where he was, a bit like stupefied, with a cold empty feeling inside him.
"How do you feel?" he asked with a silly shyness that he couldn't shake off.
"Better and better," Isobel reassured him, but she made a gesture that showed she was aware of how close it had come this time. Jubal had to swallow hard. "I had a little water in my lungs, but the treatment is working. I'm almost fine now," she assured him and smiled at him again. "How- how are you?" she asked, studying him in full.
Bad. I'm bad. You almost had me a heart attack, but now that I see you're well, frankly better, thought Jubal. "Everything under control," he said instead, not wanting to go into details when there were people with them.
She seemed frustrated.
"Jubal-" Then she glanced behind him and looked surprised. "Ralph? What are you doing here?" Her tone became a bit more jovial. It was obvious that she was glad to see him.
"Now I'm the SSA of the Monterrey consulate Office," Arenas replied with a wide smile as he approached the bed.
"You know each other, I assume," Jubal said, puzzled.
"Yeah, we were partners in the Laredo Field Office for a while," explained Isobel, removing her oxygen mask completely.
Arenas inquired about her condition and then introduced her to Ugarte. The two exchanged a nod and a few polite words. She addressed Arenas again.
"Okay, Ralph, but what are you doing here specifically?"
Between Ugarte and Arenas they explained that the New York Office was very concerned about that message Jubal had managed to send. They gave the Monterrey Office the location in Agua Dulce, obviously provided by Kristen, where they believed he and Isobel were, and they contacted the GN immediately. Upon providing them with the location, the GN said that Agent Montero had just called for reinforcements but that they only knew he was south of Monterrey. Together they had connected the dots.
No wonder the GN took so little time to show up... thought Jubal.
"Do you know anything about agent Montero?" asked Isobel to Arenas, openly concerned and with a slight tremor in her voice that only Jubal could make out; the presence of mind she was showing was impressive.
"Oh, does he know Darío too?" he had to ask, intrigued.
"Ralph also worked on that case we met on," explained Isobel.
"One big happy family..." Jubal muttered to himself.
Ugarte shared with him a half smile; he seemed to feel a little out of place too.
"I'll find out," Arenas assured her. "But after that, Ugarte here needs to ask you some questions, okay?"
Isobel nodded very seriously. "Of course.
·~·~·
While the nurses Arenas had spoken to went to find a doctor who could inform them of Darío's condition, Jubal and Isobel told them everything that had happened, including the recent escape of Adriana, Sofía, and Carlos. They left out of the story, however, the reason why they were involved in that matter. Isobel did not mention it; Jubal -she knew she could count on him- tacitly and without even looking at her, played along.
Arenas and Ugarte seemed to be wondering, but did not probe further. Isobel suspected that because Ugarte planned to push the screws on Darío, as his subordinate, to find out, while Arenas probably preferred to be able to ask them in private.
They both seemed as surprised to find out that Adriana Fresneda was the one who had set the whole thing in motion as they were that Vargas' wife and son had been alive and in hiding for so long. For their part, they told them that they had arrested all of El Patrón's henchmen who were still alive, and that the wounded had been sent to another hospital, where they were under arrest and close surveillance.
In any case, Ugarte said that he was going to need a more detailed statement of the assault, because they had found several dead bodies on Miss Fresneda's estate. Isobel could only be grateful for the professional courtesy that Ugarte was extending to them.
Arenas was organizing an official way to take those statements, when a doctor arrived to talk to them about Darío.
It was obvious to everyone that Isobel put any subject aside to listen.
To his and Jubal's slight relief, the doctor began by saying that Darío was out of surgery and stable. As far as getting shot in the torso was concerned, he had been lucky. But, although they were optimistic, Darío had lost a lot of blood, had required transfusions, and until he woke up, they could not know for sure if there would be any neurological consequences in his brain. In any case, he was not in a coma; his vitals suggested that he would wake up.
They were given permission to see him. Fortunately, Arenas and Ugarte agreed without further insistence to let them go, although the latter designed one of his men to escort them.
Jubal got Isobel a wheelchair and wheeled her to the ICU himself, followed at a respectful distance by the guardianacional.
"What happened back there at Adriana's estate?" Isobel asked as they waited to be let in, partly to fill the void of silence that hung over them like a smothering blanket.
It was as if the two of them had lost the ability to know how to behave with each other when they were alone.
"Those 'geniuses' shot the propane tank. It exploded and knocked you unconscious. We had to pull you out of the pool," Jubal had to turn his face away to answer. He still had a tight lump in his throat remembering when he saw her flying through the air.
"Oh... I was wondering why I had ended up in the water..."
'We had'...? 'I had', more like thought Isobel. She remembered well that neither Adriana nor Sophia nor Darío were wet when they had arrived at the hospital, while Jubal was obviously soaked as he held her in the back of the pickup. The way her chest tightened inside was almost unbearable. Jubal was standing next to her. She wanted to take his hand, but it was too far from hers to be able to make a casual gesture of something she had never done before...
Meanwhile, the indefiniteness of what was between them at the moment was suffocating Jubal. The truth was that he was afraid of taking anything for granted. In any case, that was not the time to talk about it, obviously.
Once inside, it was disheartening for Jubal to see Darío like this, tubes and wires protruding from his body, the pallor of being just out of surgery on his face. And he knew well what it must mean for Isobel.
She wanted to stay a while to see if he would wake up; Jubal, of course, stayed too.
But the minutes passed and Darío did not even move. The beeping of the heart monitor rhythmic and steady, but too slow. Jubal heard Isobel make a choking sound, and he looked at her with concern. Her eyes were dry, but and ringed with an impossible tension; they stared at Darío, unblinking. That expression hid an even greater suffering.
Without needing to ask, Jubal knew what Isobel was thinking; she blamed herself for what had happened to Darío, and feared she had dragged her friend to a living death.
"Do you want to-? Do you want to go up to the roof? Just for a while?" Jubal offered in a whisper.
Blinking, Isobel lifted her face to look at him with surprised appreciation. "Yes, please," she sighed.
·~·~·
At a nursing desk, Jubal got her a blanket to keep her warm and some disposable slippers. They went up to the top floor in the elevator, and in silence he pushed the chair to the bottom of the stairs leading to the hospital roof; he helped her up. The escort stayed downstairs, at Jubal's request.
Outside, the sun was rising golden in the east, the storm clouds long gone. The air was still cool, though.
With her eyes closed, Isobel took in and exhaled a deep breath of air. Jubal was reassured that she managed to do so without coughing, nor without her breathing making any disturbing noises. But her shoulders slumped again almost immediately.
"What have I done? My God... What have I done?" Isobel murmured in torment.
It had all been for nothing. She had endangered her life, Jubal's, Darío's, and it was as if she was exactly the same as when she started. They were still under the same threat from Vargas as at the beginning. And, once again, it was others who were paying the consequences of her mistakes.
Jubal was saying something, but Isobel could hardly hear him. She was feeling herself sinking so deep into that pit filled with dark, pitch-thick, despair that she stopped hearing, stopped even seeing what was before her eyes.
Terribly distraught over her suffering, Jubal called her name.
It was the warmth of his voice, of Jubal's hand placed affectionately on her back, what gave her a glimpse of light in the darkness where Isobel was losing herself.
She turned and raised her face. The dismay in his eyes was manifest, but they were also full of understanding. For the first time Isobel let the tears, thick as her guilt, escape and roll down her cheeks. She moved closer to him without actually touching him.
Slowly, not knowing how much she longed for his touch -for his forgiveness- Jubal put his arms around her and pulled her gently against him, almost hesitantly, fearing that she would reject him.
"Sssh... It's okay... It's okay... Darío will be all right," whispered Jubal with a shrinking heart, stroking her hair and kissing her head softly. "Everything's going to be fine..."
Those were not realistic statements, not at all, but they eased Isobel's anguish in an unexpected way. She melted into his embrace, feeling more comforted than she had felt since... There had been only one person in her life who had given her that absurd, but sometimes necessary, comfort. That person had been dead for several years, and before she died, she had not gave it to Isobel since she was a child. She let out a shaky sigh.
Then Isobel remembered that the previous afternoon Jubal had said exactly the same thing to Carlos. She blinked. She felt herself being filled with a deep sense of shame for having been relieved by that. She was no child. She began to pull away sharply, not angry with him but with herself.
"Earlier you asked what you had done..." Jubal was saying, in a quiet voice, though uneasy about that sudden reaction. "You saved the lives of three people, that's what you did."
Isobel stopped and looked at him blankly.
"If you hadn't started this particular crusade of yours," he explained, "there would have been no one here to protect them when El Patrón sent his thugs after Sofía, Carlos and Adriana. The three of them would already be in his hands and, surely..."
...dead, Isobel mentally finished the sentence. The flash was strangely slow, but it was blinding. He's right...
"You're right," Isobel repeated aloud to him and to herself, finally managing to climb out of that terrifying pit, and look around. She found that the dawn sky had a luminous bluish mauve pastel color. Her eyes roamed over it and ended up on Jubal's face, who was gazing at her with an anxious expression. "How do you do that?" she whispered in wonder.
"What you mean?" he asked, puzzled.
"Always look on the bright side of things?"
The fascination in Isobel's gaze took Jubal's breath away. He didn't answer at first. It was a matter of simple survival. A defense mechanism he adopted during the time when he was always one heartbeat away from relapsing into his addiction. Later, focusing on what was good in his life -his job, his children- instead of what he had lost was what allowed him to move on. Now, it had simply become automatic. He saw no merit in it.
He shrugged. "What's so special about it...?"
"All of it." You're my light in the dark... This time it was she who hugged him. "And that's why I should have you always close," Isobel whispered with her face against his neck, making Jubal's heart soar as he returned her embrace.
~.~.~.~
