Author's Note: Not really and unconventional couple by any stretch of the imagination but this couple is a dying breed and I needed to do this one for any fans of this dying couple.
Options
"Destiny doesn't leave you many options.
Even when you have dozens of choices you don't have many options
For one reason or another…money, timing…something is in the way
You may feel like the world is at your feet but its all a façade.
The trick is to make the best of what you're given and don't screw up.
Life doesn't look kindly on screw-ups and destiny only gives you so many chances."
I don't have many options. The papers spread out in front of me tell me so. The letters taunt me and tell me that I can do it that I can make this simple decision. I touch the papers again as if they have the answers but the look exactly the same and I have been sitting here for fifteen minutes. It's not like I have many options.
I hate senior year.
Sliding off the floor, I moved to Phil's room. He keeps everything and anything so I know I'll find exactly what I'm looking for. His light is on but everything else seems undisturbed so I assume he's not in his room. I'm amazed at how he keeps his room. Packed and neat, if that makes sense.
"What are you looking for?" He puts the sandwich on the desk and moves some random pencil crayons around with his feet.
"Paper."
He chuckles. "Fine."
He reads me better than I can read myself. He knows I'm lying. The smirk on his face tells me so. He takes a quiet bite out of his sandwich as watches me fidget uncomfortably in the middle of the room. This is one of those downfalls about being a twin. Nothing is ever truly a secret.
"I need help."
He takes another bite. "With?"
"The pile of papers in my room."
He flinches. "Maybe you should just go to Chuckie…"
"Phil…"
"Or maybe Tommy."
"God, you can be so difficult sometimes."
"So can you. It's not that hard. Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know."
He blinks at me. Slowly, as if I just spouted several heads then he sighs and takes another bite of his sandwich. He could eat through a war, I believe. "Maybe you should just go talk to Kimi or Susie…hell, you could even go talk to Angelica."
"Why would you say that?"
"Indecisiveness." He finishes swallowing. "It's a female thing."
My response was a pillow to his head.
"It's true."
Maybe he was right, within a matter of days, the boys had decided they were going to State. Meanwhile, us girls are still swimming in our acceptance letters and financial aid packages. May 1 is looming close and I still don't have many options…or a final decision for that matter.
"Just come to State with us. You know you want to."
I did…yet I didn't. I kind of want to branch out on my own yet I wanted to be around the group. I didn't feel complete without them and maybe that was the problem. I should find myself without them because I don't really know. That is how I find myself standing in the kitchen listening to my father's speech after taking a much-needed break. He pats me on the back and tells me that no matter what he knows I'll make the right decision. Like that was much help. Again, I find myself staring at the colored tiles on my kitchen floor. I only have four more days to decision and I only made one choice since three weeks ago and that was that I'm going to stay in New York State, which eliminated three schools out of the nine that I applied to.
I hate it that he has the key.
Of course, this was Tommy's idea, the boy behind every idea and every plan since we were in diapers. He decided that it would be great if we had the key to each other's houses since we 'spend so time in each other's house we could live in them' which of course is true. The idea was also great at the time and in theory because like most of Tommy's ideas, the kinks weren't worked out and no one bothered to work them out for him. Thanks to that, there have been many embarrassing moments on my part. Like the time Chuckie strolled in as Kimi was putting an avocado mask on my face. Just last week, I walked in on Tommy and Kimi at his house doing things that I didn't need to see. Nothing R rated…I just didn't need to see it.
I hate it that they have the key. Although it was great at first because to my surprise (and okay, excitement) the most frequent flyer was Chuckie Okay, so I have somewhat of a crush on him. I wouldn't call it a crush. It makes sound so juvenile. I've loved that redheaded boy since we pretended to get married when we were in diapers. So for me, it was great.
Because it was Chuckie.
And he was cute.
So it was great until the avocado mask incident.
He's standing in my kitchen now. Drinking the fruit punch that he has helped himself too. He says a polite hello to my parents who have barely noticed his presence or the fact that he used a key to get in. (All of our parents are like that). He grins at me and pours himself another glass. Between the three (four if you count Timmy) of them, they could eat people out of a house and home, my brother being the worst of course. He finally pauses long enough to speak.
"Hey Lil."
Now, people, this is not the same Chuckie Finster that I grew up with…that's not true but he has some subtle changes. I think in large part of spending all of his time with Tommy and Phil who Susie dubbed as the 'ladies killers'…that is of course until Kimi and Susie stuck their claws in them and never bothered to let go. He's more confident.
Bolder.
That is his biggest change.
"Hey."
"Phil's upstairs?"
"Nope, he went to the store to get some junk food." I don't have to tell him to stay and wait. It's all implied. One of the benefits in our long lasting friendship. "Guess you're stuck with me."
He smiled. "That's not so bad."
Did I mention Chuckie flirts? Yeah, courtesy of Tommy Pickles. That boy could charm women out of their grave. Some of that rubbed off of Chuckie. I just hope I'm not blushing. My parents are watching Jeopardy and shouting answers at each other and the TV. Not exactly the kind of scenery I picture to be talking to Chuckie in. I offer a smile and he returns it.
"Come on, bottomless pit." I tell him as I pour him one more glass of juice. "Grab the last bag of our favorite popcorn and let's go upstairs maybe you can help me."
All in all, he's still the same Chuckie. The sage advice giver…the helper…the know-it-all…he just has more confidence and more freckles.
"Sure."
Kimi tells me it's my turn. I felt uncomfortable even talking to her about her brother in this way but Kimi smiled in that Kimi-like-way. She didn't let some small thing like that get in the way of boy-talk. 'As long as we keep it PG' she says in a serious tone. I agreed. I wouldn't want to tell her how well Chuckie kisses as much as she doesn't want to hear it. She has this theory because now the entire group is basically dating. Phil and Susie, Tommy and Kimi, Angelica and Timmy so she rationalized that it's my turn and her brother definitely likes me.
"If I you don't think I know then you're in serious denial, Christine." She said calling me by my middle name like Tommy does from time to time just to annoy me. (I hate how he rubs off on people) I ignored that for a few moments as she continued. "Well, he is my brother and I'm dating his "bestest friend"." She finished with the little finger quotes.
She might be right.
As I'm having these thoughts, Chuckie already has some system for my decision making progress in place. I take a sip of his juice and I try to fight the urge to jump into his arms. Why didn't I ask him three weeks ago? I knock off six of the nine colleges and now I'm left with State, Albany and St. John's.
"Well?" he asks me.
I knock off St John's my list because well, I'm not really sure but State and Albany gave me almost the same amount of money. I'm down to two in a matter of minutes.
"Go to State."
I laugh because I wish it were that easy. I tell him this and explain my whole leaving and becoming my own person thing. He frowns at me and starts to shove food down his throat. His cell phone vibrates on my bed and he motions for me to answer it.
It's Phil…I put him on speakerphone.
"I don't even want to know what's going on."
"Jesus, Phil. Its nothing like that." Though I wish it was.
He chuckles. "Okay."
Chuckie swallows his popcorn. "She's right."
"Sure." I hear some commotion in the back. "I ran into Kimi and Tommy here in the supermarket and they want to know if you two are up for a movie. Angelica, Susie and Timmy are already there."
"What movie?" Chuckie asks him as if he's not going to go anyway.
Phil laughs. "Does it matter? Just go next door!"
Click.
Rolling my eyes, I pick up the bag of popcorn that I fully intend on taking with me next door but Chuckie stops me before I can leave the room.
"Listen, come to State with us. You'll find your way there. Don't room with us, take different classes or join different clubs just don't leave." He snatches the popcorn out of my hand and tosses his arm around my shoulder. "Besides, I want you to come."
Ladies, I know I'm setting the women's movement back several decades but I have just made my decision. I pick up State's registration packet that's only missing my signature and the deposit money that is sitting in the bank.
"Besides, I can always transfer if things don't work out, right."
He smiles. Catches the double meaning in my words. "I would stop you."
See, I don't have many options. I have to get used to this bolder, more confident Chuckie Finster.
He takes my hand and leads me out of my room. "I'm scared, Lil. It took me months just to get the courage to throw my arms around your shoulder. I thought Kimi and Tommy were going to do it for me one of these days since I talked about it so much."
I smile at him and squeeze his hand for reassurance.
Okay, maybe he didn't change that much.
