Hi everyone! Here's a make it or break it chapter; but I'm happy with where it's going, so I hope you all will be too.

Thank you for the comments on the last one. And yes, maybe Evangeline and New Orleans will be one of those ''New Orleans is my past, present, and future''-scenarios. We've got past down, so far ;)

A special thank you to Like Watching The Night Sky. Such a sweet comment! You certainly helped make not just this day, but many more. Thank you for reading :)


Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries


The following morning was eerily still. From the moment I woke up, all I wanted was to go back to sleep again. Yesterday had been tough. Physically and mentally. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling for a while. I had thought coming back home to my house would help make me feel grounded again; and it did, a little bit. But not enough. If I was going to get back on track and better myself, I had to... I don't know. Get some perspective? With no distractions.

Taking a deep breath, I relaxed and turned on my side to check my phone. The screen lit up and there was one missed phone call. From Elena.

We hadn't left things resolved. Well, maybe we would have if I hadn't asked her to leave. And if she after that hadn't been nowhere to be found. I pressed call and sat up, bringing the phone to my ear.

She sounded tired when she answered. ''Hey.''

''Hey,'' I said back. Biting down on my lip, I thought of so many things to say, but none of them seemed right, so instead I just asked:

''Can I come over?''


If Elena had sounded tired over the phone, that was nothing compared to how she looked. She opened the door with dark circles under her eyes, shoulders slouched and hands buried deep in the pockets of sweatpants a few sizes too big for her.

''Come in,'' she said, and we sat down in her living room.

We were both stiff as boards and the unsaid words hanging in between us made the air feel tense enough to cut with a knife.

''I wanted to apologise,'' I began. ''I reacted before I knew exactly what happened and-''

''You shouldn't apologise,'' Elena cut me off. ''I made a bad choice. I shouldn't have trusted her. I thought she was going to kill Klaus, and only Klaus.''

I never thought she did it completely on purpose. Regret was written on her face in big bold letters, and her eyes were desperate to explain. If I put my guard down, I was pretty sure it would wash me over in one big wave.

I knew Elena, and she was guided by emotions, just like me. And what I saw in her right now couldn't possibly be all because of what happened at the ball. It had been big, sure. But... there was something else.

''Something happened yesterday, didn't it?'' I asked.

''Your intuition is scary sometimes,'' Elena replied. ''But yeah, something happened alright.''

She played with her fingers, and actually looked relieved right before she said:

''Elijah's not dead. None of them are.''

It was like I'd had a splinter stuck in my finger for a long time. One I couldn't get hold of, sitting there and causing pain. Not unbearable, but enough to be felt, all the time. Elena's words were someone managing to get it out. The pain was still there, for a short while. Shock pain. Then it settled.

After seconds of surprise and not be able to get anything even resembling a word out of my mouth, I finally managed to ask: ''What happened?''

''Well...'' she frowned. ''I was kind of... held hostage.''

Elena told me all about what happened and all I could do was sit and be baffled at what she said. How Elijah trapped her, sending Rebekah to watch over her and kill her if Stefan and Damon didn't do something about the ritual Esther was going to perform. The ritual that would kill all of her children.

''About Elijah... even if he's left,'' Elena began when she'd finished and I hadn't said anything. ''What he did – I forgive him. You should, too.''

I was starting to realise one thing. Elijah would do anything for his family. He went against Klaus once before, because of his other siblings. And this time was hardly any different. It ended in their lives, but also in someone else's death. Bonnie's mum had been killed to cut the chain of witch power Esther drew from. I couldn't even begin to fathom what she was going through.

''He left me a note,'' she continued, and I looked up from the place on the floor I'd been staring at.

''He did?''

I don't know why I felt that sting somewhere in me, mixed with the resentment I had against the whole thing. The death. Taking Elena. I was bitterly happy that he was alive, and I guess I just thought we hadn't seen the last of each other. Somehow, it didn't seem finished.

''You look sad.''

I blinked, trying to shake it off. ''I just spaced out.''

I could feel Elena's strange warm sadness press upon me, and I pushed it away with a deep breath.

''Ev... he didn't come see you?'' she asked carefully.

I shook my head. ''No.''

''I honestly thought that he would,'' she frowned. ''I don't know what's going on between you two but...''

''Nothing is going on,'' I interrupted. ''It's just... I guess I'm just... glad he's alive.''

She put her hand on mine. I took another breath to keep myself grounded. ''You know, what he wrote sounded like something he might as well have written to you,'' Elena said. ''Do you want to read it?''

''No,'' I said quickly. ''No, I should probably just leave it.''

If this was it, I'd better just leave it behind me and move on. Like she said, Elijah was gone. There was no use dwelling on it.

''Maybe he's saying goodbye to me,'' Elena said suddenly. ''But... maybe he's not saying goodbye to you.''

''Yeah, well, that's that,'' I said, not really wanting to consider it. I was such a mix of emotions right now that I wasn't even sure what I'd say if I met him. It was weird, being angry and happy at the same time.

''I should go,'' I said, clapping my hands together. ''It's my turn grocery shopping.''

''And I have homework,'' Elena sighed, thankfully willing to let the conversation go too.

''You're up for that?'' I asked, frowning at her when a big yawn escaped her mouth.

''Yeah,'' she replied. ''It'll be nice to do something normal for a change.''


I went to the library later that day. Mrs. Balinger was pleasantly surprised to see me, and she brought up the same material I'd gone through before. This time around, it would hopefully be easier. I had a clear starting point, I had the possible dates found online.

Clearly, I underestimated my ability to read the handwriting. I thought it would be a piece of cake after spending over an hour going through this before, but it was still painfully slow reading.

But then I found him. The name matched, the date matched... I followed the words with my finger. Henry James Moreau. Born in 1875.

I leaned back in the chair and stared at the book, but quickly my mind travelled elsewhere. To patches of grass and gravel paths. To that stone in Louisiana.

And I thought of last night. The shouting, the anger. The almost crashing our car.

Mum thought getting away was good for me, but her reason was that she thought I was stuck in Mystic Falls. To be honest, it was beginning to feel like maybe, on some level, I was.


From the library, I went straight to the cemetery. I don't know why I thought sitting in front of Madeleine's grave could give me any answers. All I got was cold air getting in under my clothes, a runny nose, and complete silence.

I thought of her and everything Klaus had said. Her life must've been one big ride. I thought coming home would help, and it had. But it wasn't enough. Somehow, it wasn't enough.

I followed the lines of the letters, one by one, with my eyes. Something hadn't been enough for her, either. This wasn't the same, I told myself. On paper, it wasn't. And even though I didn't want to feel close to her in the ways that destroyed her, I still felt close to her.

Right there was when I decided. One thing was for sure – it couldn't hurt to try. And if some fresh air and new places could be what I needed to get some closure and figure out how I was going to learn how to handle everything, then that was what I was going to get.

Brushing off some dirt from the bottom of my pant leg, I let out a breathy chuckle. So simple, deciding to go. Much simpler than actually going.

Hopefully Elena wouldn't think I was leaving because of what had happened. And Damon. Last time we saw each other we were screaming each other's heads off. Shifting on the damp ground, I let my gaze travel past the headstone to the trees at the edge of the cemetery. A bird flew from one treetop to another. Seconds later, others followed.

One short trip, that was all. A trip that would help me... I don't know. Breathe.


At dinner with my mum, I found myself scared to tell her. I shouldn't be. I was an adult who could make my own decisions. But I wasn't scared of telling her because of what she would think, because I knew she'd just be happy about it. No, I was scared because if I admitted it out loud it would make it all the more real. And even if it was, on the surface, a small thing – just a week-long trip down south – the worry in the pit of my stomach grew larger by the minute.

In a way, I was following in Madeleine's footsteps. I'd had my low, hopefully. And now I was on my way to Lafayette. To her brother's grave, same as her.

I didn't think I was going to find anything there. I just wanted to see it, that's all. See it, like she had seen it. Spend the journey there thinking and collecting myself. Coming back to Mystic Falls stronger.

''I've decided,'' I told her. ''About Lafayette.''

''You're going?'' she asked with a big smile on her face.

''Yeah,'' I said. ''I am.''

She looked at me over a bite of spaghetti. ''You're scared of doing it alone? Don't worry about that. Just plan your route and stay away from weird looking places, and you'll be just fine.''

''No, it's not that,'' I replied, picking at the food with my fork. ''I just... I don't know how to tell my friends.''

''Oh,'' she pondered. ''Well...''

''And I'm not on the best terms with some of them,'' I added.

Mum held her finger up for me to wait as she shoved another bite of spaghetti into her mouth. She kept her finger up, chewing, and when she was done she asked:

''Why are you leaving?''

I shrugged. Even though my mother knew me better than most, I didn't want to go into exactly why I was leaving. ''You know I've been digging into our family history? We've got a relative that's buried there, so I wanted to go see it. And get a little break.''

''But it's not to get away from them?''

I shook my head. ''No, not really.''

''Then you shouldn't worry about telling them,'' she concluded.

''I guess not,'' I said with sigh.

As always, she was right. It was just me thinking, that so suddenly after all this had happened, I was going to skip town. That's what it felt like. But, right now, Mystic Falls me was the one keeping me still, treading water. I had to find a new me. A new me who could deal with my powers and not be weakened by them.


Elena came by the Grill when I worked through the lunch hour the next day. She looked a lot livelier. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and she smiled when she saw me. Like my mother said, there was no reason to worry. I wasn't leaving town because of her. No reason to worry, and still my heart started pounding quicker when she walked over to me.

''Can I get a coffee to go?'' she asked when she reached me.

''Sure,'' I said. ''You're on your lunch break?''

''Yep.'' She nodded and looked down at her phone. ''And I've only got... twenty minutes left of it.''

Even if she was short on time, I wanted to get it out. And maybe telling her in passing in a normal conversation would make it sound less serious than sitting down face to face.

''I know you're in a hurry,'' I said, fixing up her coffee as quick as I could, ''but I thought I should tell you. I'm going to Louisiana.''

Elena looked at me in surprise. ''Why?''

I pressed the lid onto the cup. ''I just... I need some time to figure out things. Work up my control.''

She seemed like she didn't quite know what to say, standing with her mouth slightly open and lines creasing her forehead. ''Okay,'' she said. ''When are you leaving?''

''In a couple of days.''

''It's a good thing,'' she said after a short while. The lines on her forehead slowly disappeared and a thoughtful smile crept across her face. ''You've been through so much. Maybe seeing things from outside this town will help.''

Smiling back at her and feeling relieved, I handed her her coffee. ''That's what I'm hoping.''

She took another look at her phone, but didn't leave right away. ''Damon's been beating himself up about your fight.''

The distorted face of a shouting Damon popped up in my head. And then the fact that what he wanted – for the Originals to die – didn't happen. He didn't need to beat himself up over both those things. ''I know where he's coming from,'' I said. ''But I don't think it's right.''

''You should tell him that.''

Elena drew a breath as if to say something else, but then changed her mind. She slipped her phone into her jacket pocket and adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder. The next thing she asked didn't feel like it was what she originally thought to say. ''How long will you be gone for?''

''About a week, I think.''

''When you get back, maybe we can have a movie night?'' she asked hopefully. ''It feels like it's been ages.''

''Yeah,'' I smiled. ''Sure.''


I took my bike home. The wind whipped me in the face and my fingers stiffened around the handles pretty quickly. I don't know why I hadn't dug up a pair of gloves from somewhere by now. It was almost winter.

At the corner of my street I spotted a familiar figure standing under one of the streetlights. Dressed all in black, Damon had a somber look on his face when I stopped next to him.

''Hey,'' he said.

''Hi,'' I replied back, swinging my leg over the frame and leaned the bike against the kickstand.

Damon ran his fingers across the pole next to us absentmindedly. ''So when are you leaving?''

''You heard us?''

''I might have,'' he replied with a shrug.

''I'm leaving Friday morning,'' I said. ''And look- I'm not mad at you.''

''Then we're on the same page,'' Damon said. ''I'm not mad at me either.'' I gave him a look. ''I just don't want you running around making stupid decisions,'' he continued.

''Then we're on the same page,'' I said.

Damon smirked. ''You're going out into the big bad world, Moreau, but I think you'll be fine.''

''It's not like I'm leaving the country,'' I pointed out. ''And I've been to Ohio. Or so people think.''

''I'll go over the basics,'' Damon said. ''Don't talk to strangers. Don't accept candy from strangers... and try not to look so nice and pretty.''

''Ha...'' Rubbing my hands together, I tried to warm up my cold fingers. They were starting to hurt. ''I'll remember that.''

''I'm just a phone call away,'' he said, and with those words I knew we were okay.

I tilted my head a little and offered him a small smile. '''Thanks.'' Kicking up the stand, I got on my bike again. ''I'll see you when I get back.''

Damon smiled goofily and with a whoosh he was gone. I pedalled slowly the rest of the way down the street. Sure, Damon acted a lot on impulse at times and we didn't see eye to eye on some things, but he was always upfront about stuff. If you knew how to take it, that was part of what made him such a good friend.


The night before I was meant to leave, I walked around the house, tidying up the smallest messes, fluffing pillows, and felt strangely empty inside.

I'd figured it all out. I planned a route. Picked a hotel to stay at. Rented a car. I had a suitcase packed by the bed and a backpack almost ready to go.

It was just as I'd told Damon. It wasn't like I was leaving the country. I was like, fifteen hours from home, with the option to buy a plane ticket getting me home even faster if I needed to. But I was hoping not having to spend that money.

I sank down on my bed and looked around. This was a safe place. The room I'd grown up in. The room I'd come back to. I tried my best not to confuse last minute jitters with having a bad feeling about going.


The sun was rising on the horizon when I hugged my mother goodbye early the following morning. I could still feel the warmth from her arms around me when I got into the car at the rental.

I kept glancing at her in the rearview mirror until she wasn't there anymore. Then I took a deep breath and headed through town.

This was good. As strange as it felt, I also felt kind of... free. It was just me, the car, and the road we travelled on.

I passed the grocery store, the only store with its lights on. The rest of them didn't open for a couple of hours.

A part of me had wanted to leave to escape the drama. But it was as if Mystic Falls was nothing else but a quiet little town, slowly waking up from a sweet night's sleep. People would wake up, have breakfast, and go to work. The sun would slowly set as they came home again. Maybe it was nostalgia because I was leaving; but, right now, Mystic Falls felt normal. Peaceful.


Someone or something blessed me with nice weather. The sun was out, and the sky was a perfect pale shade of blue. The spruces flashing by along the road were green and cozy, not at all tall and ominous as they were in the dark.

I had a GPS on the dashboard, and I tried to keep my eyes off the arrival time and look at everything outside instead. Even if it was just trees.

The road curved slightly, and I smiled when I saw how it straightened out, stretching in front of me until, far in the distance, there was a small hill. This had to be what people loved about road trips.

Suddenly, I heard a small pop. At first, I thought nothing of it, until tremors went through the car and the previously smooth ride started getting strangely bumpy. I knew enough to know that wasn't a good sign. That pop might've been something jamming into one of the tires.

I pulled over by the side of the road and got out of the car. I was still on the country roads leading to the highway, and almost no one took this route – so it was just me on the long stretch of road.

When I checked the tires, I immediately saw the tear in the left front one. ''Damnit,'' I cursed under my breath and ran my hand through my hair, loosening strands of hair from my ponytail. I puffed them away when they got in my face.

Was this a sign or something? I was literally just outside the town border. I kicked the side of the wheel in frustration and leaned back against the car, covering my face with my hands.

Why didn't I know how to change a tire? Why? I had a license, I should know how to change a freaking tire.

I sighed deeply and let my hands drop. This wasn't a sign. It was just something that happened, and I was going to fix it. Pushing away from the car, I went to take a look in the back of it. Below the mat there should be a compartment... I felt like an idiot going through the trunk, feeling the edges of the mat with my fingers – until I managed to lift it up, revealing a hatch.

Somehow, I was going to figure this out. And if I didn't, I'd call someone. I couldn't let a flat tire lead me back home after only forty minutes on the road. No way.

I looked at the tools. A carjack, some kind of wrench. I should be able to do this. Jack the car up, loosen the bolts... change the tire.

Getting my phone out of my pocket, I checked and I thankfully still had reception. My thumbs moved over the keys at a rapid pace as I looked up exactly how to change a tire. Just to be sure.

In my left ear, there was suddenly the sound of something softly thudding against the asphalt, coming closer at a steady speed.

My eyes darted from my phone to my left and frowned. ''What are you doing here?''

Elijah walked slowly towards me. ''Where are you going?'' he asked, ignoring my question.

I couldn't help but think back to the first time I met Elijah. How merciless he had been. How brutal. But I hadn't been there when he took Elena. She said I should forgive him, like she had. And maybe I could. But not just yet.

He probably saw me being on guard. He stayed where he was, a couple of feet away from me.

''Were you really going to kill Elena?'' I asked, staring him down.

Elijah turned his head and looked into the deep forest. ''I counted on them thinking I would.'' He answered my question, but not really.

The question I really wanted to ask was why he was here. Out of all places, he was standing next to me on a remote road, practically in the middle of nowhere. Elena had told me he'd gone. Clearly, he hadn't; and clearly, he wanted something. But, instead of asking what, I blurted out the next best thing my mind could, apparently, come up with.

''I've got a flat tire,'' I blurted.

Elijah's gaze swept over the tires on our side of the car. ''There's no spare?''

''Yes,'' I said. ''But I-''

Elijah walked up to the trunk. I stretched my neck to see what he was doing, but his head was obscured by the tailgate. Seconds later, he was right beside me with the spare tire in his hands.

I moved, awkwardly, pointing at the tire behind me. He crouched down and began changing it.

''I should probably know how to do that,'' I mumbled.

''Yes,'' he agreed.

I watched him as he worked. I don't know why he didn't work faster – I knew he could. Maybe he didn't want to shock me.

It was so strange. Despite what had happened, what he'd done – it was like my body was still comfortable around him. Well, as comfortable as I'd been before. It was only my thoughts keeping me weary. Reminding me.

He'd clearly done this before. His hands moved with ease, removing the bolts one by one in a star pattern. Quicker than I realised, he got the spare tire on and was back on his feet.

''It's done?'' I asked, and he nodded and wiped his hands on a handkerchief he drew from his pocket. ''Thank you.''

Elijah cleaned his hands thoughtfully, and slipped the handkerchief back in the pocket when he was done. ''Will you tell me where you're going?''

My thoughts screamed confusion. Parts of me wanted to give him the chance to tell me whatever he wanted to tell me, because I could sense there was something. Other parts wanted to just thank him and drive away.

I met his eyes. He was as unreadable as all the times he wanted to be. The parts of me that wanted to be able to read him even when he didn't want to be read grew stronger.

''Lafayette,'' I replied finally.

''I'm headed that way,'' he said. ''New Orleans. Perhaps our trips might... align.''

He was serious. I considered the idea of the two of us joining up. It would be strange. A bad decision, Damon would say. So did my head. And, even if it was pretty much inevitable, I didn't want another bad decision weighing down on me.

Elijah waited patiently, not looking away from me. Damon would kill me if he knew I was even considering it, and Elena wanted me to forgive him. I... had no idea what I wanted. This was supposed to be me going to Lafayette alone. In my wildest dreams I hadn't thought he'd show up and propose to go together.

My mind kept reminding me of what he'd done. My heart reminded my why he'd done it. And no matter how much parts of me wanted to put an end to whatever compassion I felt towards him, I couldn't. I just couldn't.

The following seconds became a battle between head and heart. Eventually, heart won.

''Fine,'' I said, and opened the car door. ''Get in.''


Thanks for reading, until the next one :)