I stumbled upon a lengthy review someone posted last year on another site, and I have to say that I take it as the highest compliment. I agree with most of the analysis, and can't but be surprised and happy that someone took the time. So, if you're still around, thank you!

I think this story is suffering from being written chapter by chapter and not as a whole, if that makes sense. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it and then edit it to make it better!


Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries


My wrist stopped hurting eventually. I spent a few moments here and there thinking about the man lying in the bushes, but not out of fear. I didn't feel bad about making him go unconscious – I felt strong. As in strong enough to defend myself.

That realisation wasn't the only thing that had changed. The whole atmosphere in the car had shifted since since we got back on the road again.

We'd never talked like this before. We'd never been this comfortable. And it pulled me in two opposite directions, whenever I gave it too much thought. Warning myself to care too much, and wanting to care – and it was getting harder by the minute to push those thoughts aside.

''Are you sure you don't want to switch?'' I asked when I saw that the car clock had passed ten.

''Positive,'' he replied.

''Fine,'' I acquiesced. ''But in an hour, I drive.''

He let out a low chuckle. ''Alright,''

I looked out the window, never really tiring of the scenery we passed. It was so different from back home, and so similar.

''What will you do when we reach Lafayette?'' Elijah asked.

I looked back at him. ''I don't know if Klaus told you, but he knew a relative of mine.''

''He did not,'' Elijah said. ''Not that I should be surprised.''

''Well,'' I continued, ''her name was Madeleine. And she... was like me.''

Elijah's head turned fast and he met my eyes curiously.

''Yep,'' I said. ''And then she became a vampire only to die. I don't know everything about it. Apparently, empaths and vampirism isn't the best combination.''

''Because of heightened emotions,'' he concluded.

I nodded. ''I don't think it's impossible. Not that I really know anything about it at all,'' I added with a small sigh. ''But I guess with a certain amount of control it doesn't have to end like it did for her.''

Elijah had his eyes on me, contemplating something. But he didn't speak, so I continued. ''She had a brother. I'm going to visit his grave.''

''What do you hope to find?''

''Nothing,'' I said. ''Well, not really. I just wanted to see it.''

Elijah nodded.

''You...'' I began. ''You weren't with him in New Orleans back then?''

''No,'' Elijah replied. ''My brother and I have had countless disputes throughout the years. That was one of them. I wasn't in the city.''

''And you haven't heard anything about it?''

''Not that I recall. Nothing important.''

Well, he wasn't lying.

Pulling out my phone, I took a look at the forecast. It was going to be both sunny and warm the next couple of days, warmer than back home. Maybe I'd packed a few too many warm clothes. Glancing at Elijah in his suit, I wondered if he was bothered at all.

I didn't know why he always wore them. I mean, I'd never seen him in anything else. Not that it was a bad thing, because he looked really good in it, and-

My mind was racing. I was really hoping he hadn't gone and developed mind reading of late. Hearing people's heartbeats had to be enough. To focus my thoughts elsewhere, I grabbed my phone and sent a text to my mum, telling her I was halfway through the second day of getting there. She answered almost immediately.

''And you?'' I asked, after sending her another text. ''When you get to New Orleans?''

''I need to check up on some things,'' Elijah replied cryptically. ''It's strictly a... business visit.''

''Alright. I won't pry.''

''You have every right to ask,'' Elijah said. ''But it's a long story, and it's not the time to tell it.''

I looked at him. He glanced at me, and I smiled on reflex. There was something about him. He was more relaxed than I'd ever seen him. More at ease both with what he said and how he moved – leaning back against the seat with one hand on the wheel and the other one comfortably resting next to the shift.

Pulling my gaze off him, I focused on the road ahead instead. He was a good driver. Felt safe. But maybe he was just taking it easy. There were so many things I was finding out about him – good things, things that I wasn't sure he saw himself.

I guessed that he didn't get many opportunities to relax. So seeing him at least somewhat at peace, I couldn't help but smile. For his sake.

A familiar melody started playing, and immediately when I recognised it, I reached for the radio. ''God, I hate this song,'' I muttered under my breath. Elijah's hand went for it as well, and when our hands brushed against each other, I shied away quicker than lightning. And it wasn't only because of the usual reason.

I knew I cared about him, but this was insane. I couldn't be feeling this way about him. He was an Original vampire, for crying out loud.

The feelings I was beginning to have around him, I knew what they were. Ever since that dance... something happened. And it couldn't work – it couldn't possibly work out.

Burying myself in a book the last leg of the trip, I used the printed words to get everything else out of my head. Of course, it only worked a short while.

His presence had never been more intimidating than right now. Not intimidating as in scary, per se, but I didn't know what to do with myself. Push against what I was feeling because of who he was? Or because I didn't know how he felt?

Thinking like this was out of question. It was stupid. And it wouldn't make the trip any easier.


When we eventually pulled up in front of the hotel I was spending the next few days at, Elijah got out of the car with me to say goodbye.

''I'll leave you here,'' he said, shutting the door gently.

Smiling slightly, I nodded and reached back into the car to grab my phone. I still didn't quite know what to do with myself and what I was feeling. On top of that, I was worn out from the car ride.

''May I borrow it?'' he asked suddenly. I looked at him over the roof of the car, still half stuck inside. I realised he was talking about my phone, and hesitantly handed it to him. He put his number in. ''In case,'' he began, ''you need it.''

''Thanks,'' I said. ''I'll see you on Wednesday?'

''Yes,'' he said, and gave me a small smile. He really should smile more often. It suited him.

As soon as he was gone I hurried inside to the reception, checked in, and got myself situated in the room. It was already pretty dark out, and I was thinking I should probably save the visit to the cemetery for the next day. Not really because it was nearing twilight and I was scared of the dark, but because I was exhausted. Mentally, and physically.

My body felt like it had taken most of the blows, even though Elijah had driven almost all the way from Chattanooga. Maybe because I'd been on the edge of my seat for the bigger part of the ride.

Once I'd gotten in and out of the shower and was on my back on the bed, I brought my phone in front of my face and scrolled through my contacts until I found his name. I stared at it for a while. Something in him cared, at least a little bit, for me. In what way, it was hard to tell.

I closed my eyes and hummed quietly to myself. Tomorrow morning I would go as soon the sun was up. I'd visit Henry's grave, and then I'd spend the rest of the day checking out some places in the city. Try to keep myself as busy as possible, because this wasn't supposed to be a trip where I was brooding twenty four seven.


The cemetery where Henry was buried was on the outskirts of town. It looked a lot like the one back home – a big field with pathways running all over it.

I had a screenshot of the website I'd found his grave on on my phone, telling where it was located. There wasn't anyone else around that I could see, but it was a small cemetery. And I doubted a lot of people went there during working hours. Trying to find my way, I went all over the place until I finally found it.

It was every bit as modest as Madeleine's. I kept my feet firmly on the path, anxious about accidentally stepping on the grave.

I was here. And even though I knew it was never as much about being here as it was about coming here, it still felt anticlimactic.

Looking down at the weathered stone, all I could think was that I wished I had known what Madeleine had been through. I wish I had known her. And, if not most of all; I wished she had spoken to me that night I saw her.


I had been standing in the same spot for I don't know how long when my phone suddenly rang. I pulled it out and looked at the screen, befuddled when I didn't recognise the number.

''Hello?'' I asked, and walked slowly towards the central path running through the cemetery.

I could hear someone speaking on the other line, in an official, hesitant voice. Between the words they were saying I soon realised it was Sheriff Forbes, and she was describing something to me, something, but she didn't get to the point.

''There's been an accident,'' she said.

My mother had been driving to work, she continued. She had passed through town. At an intersection...

No. No, no, no.

This was some sick joke. Maybe I'd heard wrong. Maybe it wasn't the sheriff on the other line, but someone wasting people's time and tears with prank calls. That's what it was. Because if not...

''Now, I know you're out of town,'' Sheriff Forbes voice sounded in my ear. ''Is there someone-''

I didn't hear the rest because the phone dropped onto the ground, screen shattering against the hard asphalt.

I couldn't feel my legs. They gave out under me and I fell down, barely catching myself, scraping my whole hand but not feeling a thing.

My heart pounded in my ears, and I felt like I was going to be sick. ''No,'' I whimpered, starting to hyperventilate. ''No, no, no-''

A scream escaped my mouth, a scream like something I'd never heard from myself before. A constrained, guttural, screech. The sound of my heart breaking. I was sure I could feel it crack. Certain that I now had thousands sharp pieces of heart tearing me open from the inside out.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't- There was no way that-

Another scream echoed over the cemetery. I couldn't keep them in, they just kept coming, it all had to be let out. There was too much of it to keep within me.

Someone said my name. Or they called it from somewhere afar. I couldn't tell. Didn't care.

I rocked from side to side, squeezing my eyes shut. This wasn't happening, it wasn't happening.

Breathing hurt. Like knives tearing me up, with every short, heaving, breath I took.

One single straight thought passed through my mind. My hands. I could use my hands to make it disappear.

Grabbing my own wrist forcefully, I tried to push away the pain; the tears coursing down my cheeks without any stop to them. It wasn't working. Why wasn't it working?

I tightened my grip, pulling at the skin back and forth, trying again to force it all out, to make it go away-

Someone said my name. Someone pulled at my arm, releasing my hand from its lock. Words – words pouring into my ear but I couldn't make any sense of them.

Through the tears I saw a familiar face, looking at me with torn eyes.

''I c-can do it for others,'' I cried helplessly, ''why can't I do it to myself?''

Sobs wreaked havoc on my body, trembling and shaking and hurting all over. ''Please,'' I clutched my stomach with my arms, as if from trying to keep by body from breaking. ''Make it stop.''

''I... I can't...'' Elijah, the one who never struggled for words, did exactly that.

I cried and curled up in a ball on the ground, desperately trying to keep myself together.

''Evangeline...'' I felt Elijah reach out and gently touch my shoulder that was convulsing in sobs.

He grabbed my hands, holding them tightly, and suddenly a wave of calm washed over me, and I could breathe again.

My eyes fluttered open and I saw his face above me. ''H-how did you do that?'' I gasped, the weight of the stress and shock lifted, like a boulder, from me.

The air in my lungs felt foreign. Like I was experiencing it for the very first time. He helped me sit up, still keeping his hands firmly around mine. I stared at him in confusion, having trouble making sense of anything.

One hand twitched, as if it wanted to move. Hesitantly, he reached one hand up, grazing my cheek, and placing a strand of hair behind my ear.

''What happened?'' he mumbled.

The break from knowing was over, and the thoughts came flooding back.

''My mother,'' I whispered, staring into nothing. ''She-''

A tear escaped my eye. I felt it run down my cheek.

I couldn't say it.

Shaking my head, I whimpered and closed my eyes.

I felt his hand cup my cheek as he wiped the tears away, but they just kept coming.

A sound reached my ears through the crying. My phone, calling and calling over and over again. Maybe it was the sheriff, maybe-

Elijah must've noticed me reacting to it, because only a second later he gave it to me. The screen was broken, but I saw Elena's name. And then Caroline's. Sarah. Bonnie. Damon. Stefan. Over and over they called, texted, and I couldn't but stare at the screen blankly. Eventually, Elijah gently took it from my grasp.

My eyes wandered around me, and I almost choked when I saw her name. Everywhere, I saw her name. On every stone, her name.

It was too much. It took over again. I pulled my hand from Elijah's and hugged my knees close to my body, hiding my face, tears flooding my eyes and turning into full blown sobs again. There was no stop to it. There never would be.


I contemplated having this death later, but certain aspects of it seemed to add up better if it happened now.

Thanks for the reviews on the last one!