I know I said every Thursday, but I'll post this one too.


Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries (and there will be some minor changes to canon from here on)


Seeing Caroline again felt like a big weight being lifted off my shoulders. The pull towards her was stronger in person than in thought, and I knew then that I had made a good choice. If I could depend on anyone, it was her.

''Hello,'' she said and looked over my shoulder. Her tone was wary, but polite.

Elijah echoed her greeting.

''No one else knows you're back?'' she asked while following me inside, stepping over the now useless threshold.

''I don't think so.''

The door shut softly behind Elijah and I brushed my hand over the wall in search for the light switch.

The hallway lit up slowly in the dim light of tired lightbulbs. I squinted my eyes at the lamp in the ceiling. They had to be changed. If I could only remember where we kept them...

''Ev?''

Caroline was looking at me patiently.

''Right,'' I said, and led the way into the living room. It was dusty. I could see it from one side of the room to the other.

''So,'' Caroline said, glancing at Elijah. ''You know most of what's happened. Obviously, everything has changed now.''

''I want to help,'' I said. ''I need to help. I need to know something good can come from this.''

''They need to know, you know.''

I had to remind myself to let my shoulders down and breathe when I saw my mother's face in a picture across the room. ''Yeah.''

''It'll pass,'' Caroline said, observing my twitchy behaviour. ''And everything will be so much easier.''

''I thought I had it under control,'' I said. ''And I had, mostly. It was going good.''

''And it will be good again,'' Caroline reassured me. She turned to Elijah. ''He still has two stakes. One meant for Klaus, the other we don't know. So watch out.''

''Two stakes?'' I echoed, eyes darting to Elijah. ''That can kill you?''

At first, the idea of Elijah dead struck me, and the pain that came with it. The only consolation would be that if he died, so would I. His blood had turned me, and when it went cold in his veins so it would in mine. Then, the impact it would have.

''Klaus said we belong to his bloodline,'' Caroline told Elijah. ''Is that true?''

''It is probable,'' Elijah replied.

I threw a glance towards the windows, my skin itching. That was never a good sign. ''Where is Alaric now?''

''Oh, he's still in town,'' Caroline said with a frown. I wondered what his plan was. He couldn't not have one, not when he was walking around with two stakes that could kill Originals.

''Where is my brother?'' Elijah asked.

Caroline hesitated to answer. ''With Damon.''

''We should go see Elena,'' I said, knowing very well what might happen. ''She's who Klaus has been after all this time. If she can let him go, maybe they'll listen.''

I turned to Caroline, explaining Elijah's plan. ''Do you understand? This isn't to-''

''I understand,'' she said, cutting me off with a small smile. ''I'll back you up. I trust you.''

Returning her smile, I hoped, I really, really, hoped that this was a good idea. That they wouldn't all turn their backs as soon as they knew I had been turned; by Elijah, no less. Even if it was indirectly.

I clasped my hands together, thinking maybe I could wring out the nervousness. It didn't really work well. ''Let's go see if she's home.''

Elijah purposely lagged behind when we set off towards Elena's house, and I was grateful for a moment with Caroline.

''You okay?'' I asked her, both of our steps strangely quiet on the pavement.

''You're asking me?'' she said. ''I guess I am... it's just...''

I looked over at her. ''What?''

She closed her eyes, her face scrunched up in annoyance.

''Klaus drew me a picture.''

''Okay,'' I paused. ''Of...?''

She gave me a look. ''Me and a horse. I like horses, and I made the mistake of mentioning it to him.''

''That's nice of him.''

Caroline's eyes darkened. ''Nice, sure. Really nice. Super nice. Nice, nice, nice.''

I surprised myself by almost laughing. It had been a while. ''You still okay?''

She groaned. ''I would be if Klaus hadn't drawn that stupid picture. Of course Tyler would see it and start imagining things, I don't know what I was thinking keeping it.''

''You kept it for a reason though.''

''Yeah, it was a pretty picture.''

Looking over my shoulder, there was no sign of Elijah. He kept well back.

''I don't know half of the things Elijah has done in his life,'' I said, turning back. ''But I know him now. Somehow, that's enough.''

''What are you getting at?'' Caroline asked.

''Nothing, I just... I don't think you should feel ashamed, that's all. Of keeping a pretty picture.''

She didn't say anything for a while. When I glanced at her, she had her lips pressed in a tight line and looked straight ahead. Clearly, she was fighting something. But when it came to Klaus, every genuinely nice gesture meant something positive – that he still had a heart. I didn't doubt that he did, but the more good there was in him the better. For everyone. He just didn't want to see it.

''You know what?'' Caroline said. ''If we've got an eternity, I'm glad I have you. If I do.''

Nudging her in the side, careful with my movements, I said: ''You've got me.''


When we turned the corner to Elena's street Elijah was beside us again.

Caroline grabbed my arm and stopped me. ''You sure you're ready for this?''

''No,'' I replied honestly, but walked up to the door anyway. My hand hesitated, freezing in the air before I finally just knocked.

I could hear steps inside. A heartbeat. Then the door opened.

She looked the same, only her features were clearer, more distinct.

''Ev!'' she exclaimed in surprise. ''Elijah? What are you doing here?''

I saw Stefan step out from the living room behind her shoulder.

Suddenly finding myself at a loss for words, Caroline stepped in and helped me. ''They have an idea. I think you should hear them out.''

Elena looked between the three of us. ''Of course.''

Then, she stepped aside expecting me to walk right in. And I did, only I couldn't. It was like something settled over my chest, my legs, the whole front of my body; pushing me back.

''What-'' I heard Elena gasp, and then it was like a dam bursting. Walking backwards, I refused to look at her, refused to meet anyone's eyes.

''I- I can't-'' I clasped my hand over my mouth and blinked back tears. Turning on my heels, all I wanted was to run.

I was far away before I knew it, breath hitched in throat and on the verge of breaking down sobbing. Suddenly stopping, I drew a heavy breath and sank down into a crouching position, fighting the mass of emotion rolling over me I waves.

I had completely forgotten. The feeling of being pushed out like that... it made me want to scream. Every so often I still lived in peaceful bliss, not really reminded of what I was.

Through the sound of my breakdown, steps approached. Slowly, hesitantly.

I looked up. Out of all of them, it was Stefan.

He crouched down next to me. ''Hey.''

His calmness covered me like a soft blanket before I managed to closed up again. I let it soothe me for a little longer than I normally would have.

''I had almost forgotten about it for a while,'' I said quietly. ''Every time I'm reminded, I just...''

''How did it happen?''

Picking at some leaves of grass that had escaped through the cracks in the sidewalk, I replied absently. ''It was Katherine. Not all of it, but...''

Then I told him about everything that had happened. Reliving it hurt, a lot. I told him things I had stored in the back of my mind and then locked up, refusing to bring them out again.

''It's overwhelming, I know,'' he said when I finished. ''But it does get easier.''

''Everyone keeps telling me that,'' I replied bitterly. ''Sorry, I just... I don't know what to do with... with...''

''All the feelings?'' Stefan suggested.

''Yeah.''

''It's different for you, I suppose.''

''I'm a danger to people now,'' I said. ''I don't know how to be this, I don't... If I don't fix this...''

''You can't fix it,'' Stefan said. ''You just have to accept it.''

''How?''

''You find your reasons,'' he said. ''And we will support you. God knows we owe you. Especially me, after what you did. You brought me back.''

''Couldn't have done it without your friend,'' I said.

''Nor you,'' he said. ''I owe you my life, Evangeline. Who knows what would have happened if you didn't do what you did. So, we are here for you. All of us.''

I wiped a stray tear from my cheek, frustrated at my sniffling. ''Yeah. Thank you.''

''Of course.''

Getting on my feet, I brushed myself off and mustered up a teary smile. ''Another try, I guess.''

Stefan returned the smile, and together we headed back to Elena's house. The door was still open, but they were all inside. Maybe she saw us through the window, maybe Elijah or Caroline told Elena that we were coming; nonetheless, there she was, a careful smile on her face.

''Hey,'' she said. Gripping my shirt tightly in my hands, I managed to greet her back. She gestured with her hand. ''You wanna come in?''

''Thank you,'' I whispered when she stepped aside to let me through. ''I'm sorry for, for-''

''Don't worry about it.''

I was trying really hard not to freak out again. I kept forgetting that she was human, and I wasn't. Not anymore. And there was no way I was going to put myself in a position to hurt her.

''We're calling Damon,'' Elena said. ''Before he gets too far. But we'll talk, okay?'' She placed her hand gently on my arm, and I almost started crying again. I don't know if she knew how much that small action meant to me.

I nodded feebly and cleared my throat before I spoke. ''Yeah... I don't know how to tell him. Should I tell him?''

''It's up to you.''

Damon was already on the other line, I could hear him clearly from here. He was upset. I followed Elena into the kitchen, finding Elijah sitting by the table, waiting. He looked up when we came, and his eyes fell on me.

I took a seat next to him, and Elena sat down too. Caroline gave me an encouraging smile from where she stood next to Stefan. Then, Elijah told them of his plan.

''Once he's been disarmed, the weapon's in my possession, my family will scatter to the ends of the earth, and Alaric will follow us.''

I looked down at my hands. Every time I heard or thought those words, it was like my body, aching and pressuring, fought to keep my heart together; fought to keep one half of it running off with him.

''And you'll just run?'' I heard Stefan ask, then a chair being pulled out. Glancing up, I saw he had taken a seat next to Elena.

''We've done it before,'' Elijah replied. ''Klaus and Rebekah spent the better part of a thousand years evading my father. What's another half century while Elena is able to live out the rest of her natural life?''

Yes, what was another half century? Nothing, now. No, not nothing. I just couldn't grasp the fact of how my life was now. That Elijah would be running until Elena had grown old – and I would still be there, looking the same as I did now. I glanced at her. What Esther had done was horrible. She had linked her to someone so close to her, but who wasn't really the same person anymore. Maybe deep inside. Alaric wouldn't have wanted to become this. Running would bring us time, maybe, time to figure out a way to break the link. But if we didn't... I thought sadly of how his death would, eventually, coincide with Elena's, and hoped it would bring him peace.

''We finally stopped him, Elijah,'' Elena said, sounding extremely doubtful. ''After everything that he's done to us I can't just let you bring him back.''

''I give you my word, Elena. I will not revive Klaus, not in yours, nor even within your children's lifetimes.'' I could hear the desperation in Elijah's voice. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. I eyed him from where I sat, knowing how much this meant to him. How much his family meant to him, despite everything. He couldn't care less if Klaus was sleeping or not, he just needed him to be alive and close; so if anyone had control over Klaus' body, it was him. ''Perhaps it'll finally teach him some manners,'' he added.

They had to trust him, this once, at least. Because I knew, in my heart, that this time he would do everything he could to keep it.

''Elena,'' he said, and I didn't know where this whole thing was going. The ambivalence in me mirrored the one in them, I was pretty sure, and I just wished they would understand, that she would. ''I leave it to you to make the decision, whether to trust me or not.''

''NOT!'' Damon's voice sounded over the phone.''His lunatic siblings will kill you the first chance they get!''

''Rebekah and Kol will honour the terms – if you return Klaus' body to us, Elena will come to no harm.''

''You can't seriously be thinking about trusting him.''

I closed my eyes briefly before opening them again, feeling the breath hitch in my throat. There was no going back from what I was about to say, but I knew it was right.

''Trust me then,'' I said suddenly, jumping into the conversation. ''I'll go with him.''

''What?'' Damon exclaimed over the phone.

There was a sudden, shocked, silence in the room. I couldn't really believe what I was saying, but if it would make them trust Elijah, then I had to do it.

''You will?'' Elijah asked in disbelief.

I turned to look at him. ''I will.''

I saw that familiar smile tugging at his lips, the one he rarely let anyone see, and it took him a while before he covered it up again.

''Ev...'' Caroline hesitated.

''Please,'' I said. ''Let me do this for you guys.''

''Stop being an idiot, Moreau.''

''I'll go with him and Klaus,'' I continued. ''If you trust me, I'll make sure to keep his promise.''

Mustering up every bit of courage I had, I kept a straight face while letting my gaze sweep over everyone. ''Do we have a deal?''

''No! No, no, no, no. Did I mention no? You're gonna throw your life away for nothing?''

I flinched at the intensity in Damon's voice. I wanted to tell him about me, but this wasn't the time. I knew it wouldn't mean throwing my life away, I knew why I chose to do it. I had hesitated before, said that I didn't know if I could spend a lifetime – many lifetimes – running. But I had all the more reason to do so, now.

''You aren't nothing, Damon,'' I said. ''None of you are. And you know I don't mind the company.''

Damon let out a string of incomprehensible words, resembling static more than actual sentences.

''Elena, it's up to you,'' Stefan said, watching her quietly. She shook her head at the string of curses Damon let out, and turned to Elijah.

''Why do you want Klaus' body?'' she asked.

He pressed his lips together in a tight line, for a second unable to conceal his emotions. I wanted to reach out to him, but didn't. ''He's my brother. We remain together.''

Elena averted her eyes. Her shoulder slumped with a sigh. I thought I could guess her answer before she spoke; and when she looked up, dark eyes determined, I knew I had been right.

''We have a deal.''

Sensing he might either hang up or break his phone into a million pieces, I reached for Elena's phone on the table. ''Damon, wait,'' I said. ''I need to talk to you, please-'' There was a click, and then the line went dead.

''Call him again,'' Elena suggested.

''No, he won't pick up,'' I replied quietly, handing her back her phone. ''It'll have to wait.'' My eyes lingered on it in her hands, not really sure what to do, really – but feeling tired and utterly defeated.


They still didn't trust Elijah, and especially not Rebekah. She and I would meet Damon and Bonnie where Klaus' body was hidden and bring him back to Elijah, who would be waiting with Caroline ready to send us off.

After deciding upon everything, Elijah left. So did Stefan and Caroline. I stayed behind, wanting to talk to Elena. Needing to talk to Elena.

''You're sure about going with him?'' she asked me when we were alone. I wouldn't be surprised if they had enemies all over the world.''

''Maybe I'll get to see the world, then,'' I said. ''But seriously, it's not just because of him. I decided against it, first. And not for the first time, either. But I felt like my heart was tearing itself to pieces, and... I can help. If you don't trust him completely, maybe you'll trust me enough to feel safe. I never want Klaus to hurt you, Elena, or anyone for that matter. I don't want any of them to. And with Alaric, I just...''

''You'd do that? You would spend who knows how long on the run because of that?''

''Because of Elijah, yeah, but because of you and everyone here, too. I have time now,'' I added, being angry at myself for never seeming to be able to accept it. I could hear her heart, loud and clear, and everything about her was so awfully sharp. I tuned it out, focusing on the sound of the wind outside.

''He cares about you, I see that,'' Elena said. ''When Stefan went to get you, half his attention was out there.''

So, he had heard, maybe. He already knew I struggled, but if I managed to forget my situation from time to time, perhaps he did too. Every time I realised what I was and what I had to deal with, it was a rude awakening.

''I'm sorry,'' Elena said suddenly. ''For everything.''

I smiled sadly. ''Me too.''

''I know when you left last time we didn't really...'' she paused, looking away.

''Want to start over?'' I suggested.

''Yeah.'' She let out a breathy laugh, a look of relief on her face. ''Definitely.''


''Well then. That's done and over with.''

Sinking down on the sofa, I pulled my legs up and hugged them tightly, staring blankly in front of me. The fabric was rougher than I was used to, my new senses overwhelming in the smallest ways possible.

My eyes kept moving to the picture of my mother, hoping her still mouth would open and speak, give me advice, give me anything. But of course, it never did.

Since I got back from Elena's, happiness and relief from my conversation with her mixed with smothering thoughts of what I was facing.

''The only way for me to get through this is to do something good with it,'' I said. ''That's the only way.''

The sofa dipped to my left and I felt Elijah's presence like a wall of heat next to me. Glancing to the side, I saw his hand resting, palm up, and was brought back to that one time, only his hand had been on a windowsill then.

Fighting against my head, I let my heart lead my hand to his. Just like last time, I felt at ease.

''It will be dangerous.'' Elijah's voice broke the silence, and his words were tense, almost expecting.

I leaned back a little so I could see his face. He wasn't looking at me. ''Something tells me it's going to be hard to avoid dangerous from here on,'' I replied, thinking of what lay before us.

''Is it worth it?''

I felt chilled all of a sudden, his question running through my body like ice. Of course it was worth it! I wondered how on earth he could think otherwise, until I realised how I had been acting ever since I turned.

''Are you having second thoughts?'' I asked weakly, hoping I hadn't put him off. Only the idea of it made my chest ache.

''I made you into something you hate.''

I shifted on the couch so I was facing him. No second thoughts, perhaps, but something else. ''Elijah,'' I began softly. ''It's not your fault, and if anything, one of the reasons I don't feel like a complete stranger to myself is because it was...'' I paused. ''It wasn't Katherine's blood, it wasn't anyone else's – it was yours.''

I felt my cheeks heat up. ''I don't hate it, I just don't feel like myself. And hadn't it been you, then I might've lost more of myself.''

The thought that Elijah's blood had brought me to this life was one of the good things. It was strangely intimate, in a way I had no idea how to describe.

''I don't doubt you,'' I said. ''I wish you wouldn't, either.''

I brought his hand up and brushed my lips against his skin. The corner of his mouth turned up in a subtle smile. I returned it, before settling into his side with my head on his shoulder.

''Maybe I made it sound like I didn't do it for you, but partly, I did.''

Breathing slowly, I let my fingers brush over the fabric of his suit. ''It will be dangerous,'' he said, echoing his words from before. ''If you...''

I leaned back so I could see him. ''I'll make you a promise, then. I'll do the uttermost to make sure that I won't.''

He smiled then. Almost imperceptible, but there was a twinkle in his eye. There might be few things that felt worthwhile or true these days, but his smile was definitely one of them. Gently touching the side of his face, I wanted to memorize it, cherish it while I could. That all too well-known feeling that something was coming had crept up on me throughout the day. I kept wishing it would go away, but it didn't.

Elijah frowned slightly, and I blinked, bringing myself back to the present. I brushed my fingers across his forehead, hoping to smoothen the lines. His arm slid down, wrapping around my waist.

''I promise,'' I whispered, feeling the need to reassure not only him, but myself as well. If I had to choose between the lives of my friends, having him or not having him, or giving up... the rest had to be detail. I had to make it detail.

He was hesitant when he leaned in to kiss me. And I had time to feel nervous about it, how it might be different, how I might not be able to keep my guard up. But I was in a house that didn't feel like a home anymore, and he did.