Disclaimer: Don't own any of the Buffy cast/crew/characters/plotlines/etc. I write the poems, so blame me if they suck. The rhyming is back! The line "I only want your happiness, knowing I can never be yours to share it" is from the manga "Clover" by Clamp, and is adapted in the poem.
Author's Notes: Once upon a time there was a girl who was writing a Spander story set in the seventh season, and Jesse appeared. And the nice people who commented on it wanted to know if it was actually Jesse, or if it was just the First pretending to be Jesse. And the girl thought, "Of course it's the First! Timeline-wise it's time for Conversations with Dead People. Do these people really think I'm crazy enough to figure out a way to bring back the real Jesse into seventh season?" This thought, after several weeks of pondering, eventually morphed into, "Gee, is it even possible to logically bring the Real Jesse back for seventh season?", which just proves that the girl is as crazy as everybody thinks she is. And it leaves you to decide if Jesse has been brought back or if he's just the First in disguise. Enjoy!
Author's Notes 2: Still getting back into the swing of writing again, so parts will be a bit shorter than usual. Heh. No really, I'm not kidding about the short parts. Please don't stone me.

"""

Chapter 8: Choking on your alibis, but it's just the price I pay. Destiny is calling me, open up my eager eyes...

"""

Simple Twist of Fate

Today's the day, and I get drunk
cursing fate and sinking into a funk
while somewhere in a church across town
you're in a tux and she's in a gown
made of white lace, pure as snow.
It's your wedding day, I know,
but I can't be there to celebrate
your ritual claiming of a mate
when my heart still aches with love for you
and seeing you with her tears me in two.

There's nothing worth living for anymore, I fear.

In the end, I must confess
I only want your happiness,
knowing you will never mine
or I yours to share it. I'll be fine
as long as she can make you smile,
my love for you will be kept in denial.
I can exist without your embrace
even though your smiling face
haunts every dream of every night.
I will hide from everyone my plight.

But what to my wandering ear should I hear?

The groom is missing, the bride weeps,
and the strangest feeling sweeps
through my heart. It's Hope.
I thought without you I could cope,
but now there's a light, however so dim
and there's a chance, however so slim
that maybe, possibly, some day, somehow,
you could be mine, and I vow
that if that day comes, I'll treat you well
and never rue the day I fell.

"""

A smile stretched across the boy's face. "You remember me."

Xander gaped, "Of course I remember you. You're Jesse." He couldn't believe it. Years of memories came flooding back: goofing off in school, skateboard lessons, fishing trips, hanging out with Willow, taunting Cordelia and the Cordettes...

"A lot can change in seven years." Jesse replied, "You're different. This whole town's different." He said with a glance at the street around them. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd forgotten about me, especially given how I died."

That brought Xander back to the present. "Um... you aren't still a vampire, are you?" he asked, shifting uneasily under a rapidly darkening sky. The memory of seeing Jesse turn to dust before his eyes was not one he wanted to remember, much less relive.

Jesse shook his head. "Nah, whatever brought be back made me full human."

"Still, if you don't mind..." Xander pulled out a cross and tossed it to him. Jesse caught it by reflex, and there was no sizzle.

"Thanks, Xan, but I've already got one of my own." Jesse tossed the cross back to him, and pulled out his own cross from his back pocket to show to Xander. It was wooden, crudely carved with the bottom of the cross sharpened to a dull point. "It's a bit rough, but it does the trick."

Assured that this was indeed his Jesse and not a vamp version, he stepped forward to embrace what had been his best friend. Jesse still looked the same as he had years ago, and was lacking the inches in height Xander had acquired, so Xander found himself leaning over a little as they hugged. Jesse was warm in his arms, warm and solid and alive, and Xander knew that this was crazy, that people don't just suddenly come back from the dead, but it was Jesse and Jesse was here, and the First could go to hell right now for all he cared.

"Missed you so much, man." Jesse mumbled, face buried in his shoulder.

"Missed you too." Xander murmured back, before they broke apart, doing the awkward manly moment-after shuffle. "So," Xander said, sticking his hands in his pockets, "What are you doing back?"

"Haven't a clue." Jesse replied. "One minute some chick with a freaky face is giving me the hickey of a lifetime, the next I'm waking up naked as a jaybird in some cave somewhere with this priest guy chanting over me."

Xander blinked. "Priest guy?"

Jesse shrugged. "Tall, dark, and creepy... I didn't stick around to ask his name. I ran out of there as fast as I could, and didn't stop running for hours. I hid in the woods that day, and went looking for clothes once it got dark, but the only thing I could find was a bedsheet - better than nothing, right? Went home, but there were strangers living there. Was on my way to your house when I ran into this girl robbing a bank, and I got some money from her in exchange for not going to the cops - not that I could anyway. Bought some clothes and food, stopped by your house but your room was empty. Nobody was home at Willow's house either." Jesse's voice began to waver, as if he was fighting back tears, "I don't know what's going on, Xander. I died, and then it's like I'm back but years have passed and it's all strange and you're old and I don't know what's going on!" He scrubbed his eyes with his hand, wiping away the few traces of tears that had escaped.

Xander slung his arms around his shoulders. "Don't worry, Willow will figure out what's going on."

"""

TBC...