Insaneiac: Now then, since we saw how happy Yuan was…or wasn't…we'll turn our attention to the other characters, more importantly, the female lead in this story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia…at all. NAMCO does
Chapter 2: The Aftermath: Sheena
------Two Days Ago ------
"Kratos…Oh my God! What happened? Why is Yuan bleeding! Why is Raine bleeding?" Sheena yelled, as he watched Kratos and Zelos bring back a pair of barely recognizable half-elves who looked like they had been tortured and beat for sport. Sheena wasn't even sure if Yuan was breathing, and even if he was it was not strong breaths. Raine was in no better condition that he, only she didn't look like she had been turned into a sword version of a pin cushion. When she tried to look into Kratos' eyes, he turned away and avoided her gaze. Charging towards Kratos, Sheena grabbed at the back of his outfit, trying to stop him from moving on.
"What the hell happened Kratos?" Sheena yelled, shaking the ancient swordsman. He never turned around, never gazed back at her, despite all of her attempts to get him too. "Where's Lloyd?" As soon as she uttered those words, she could literally feel him sink emotionally. "WHAT HAPPENED?" Sheena yelled, shaking him as hard as she could.
"Sheena." Zelos muttered, resting a hand on her shoulder. As if his hand was a key and her arms a pair of locks, they fell from Kratos and allowed him to keep going. Turning to Zelos, Sheena fought the tears that seemed poised to pour through her eyes. "…Lloyd…"
"Zelos please…where's Lloyd? What happened? Tell me!" Sheena yelled, grabbing a hold of Zelos. She knew people were stumbling towards them to see the mess, to see their fabled mayor bloodied and beaten nearly to death. She knew eventually Colette would come aside and either take Raine into her house, or try and take Sheena aside. She knew all she was doing was interfering with Raine's healing, but she needed to know. Despite the fact that even Zelos seemed to be in sunken spirits, Sheena needed to know where Lloyd was.
"…He wasn't there. As far as I could tell, Lloyd wasn't there at all." Zelos replied, before pushing past Sheena and leaving her amidst the crowd of people as he took Raine to her house. She took a single half step back, waiting for the door to close behind Zelos before she fled to a spot where she could be alone.
------ Present Day ------
"Still no word…" Sheena muttered silently, perched upon the gate into Iselia. Kratos had left Iselia roughly an hour ago to collect some things, but she didn't pay too much attention to what he said those things were. Like the past two days, he avoided her questions like a scared mouse would avoid a cat. Whenever she even mentioned Lloyd's name near Kratos, he turned and practically fled. Needless to say, all it did was make Sheena more fearful and more depressed. Kratos had said one thing to her though, something that burned itself into her soul.
"Do not, under any circumstances, leave Iselia. At all. Even if one of your village people demands it, I forbid you to leave." Kratos spoke solidly. When Sheena tried to fight him, Kratos shook his head twice and shot her the fiercest glare she had even seen. "Sheena, I am not asking. I'm telling you right now. Do not leave this village. Not until I return at the very least."
Why she was listening to a man who by all accounts had no relation to her was beyond her comprehension. Maybe it was the fact that when she glanced into his stone cold eyes, she saw something more than anger and intensity. Kratos Aurion was very good at never showing anything he didn't want people to see on surface level. That meant hiding emotions that tried to show themselves within his eyes. However, in that glare she saw a part of him that was alive and rampant with fear and misery. If something was enough to cause the mighty Kratos to be afraid, than it was a good enough reason for Sheena to follow his words, her anger at doing so aside. Which meant she was stuck within the confines of Iselia while Lloyd was missing or worse. More than anything in the world, she wanted to be looking for Lloyd. Even when Yuan had kidnapped him, Sheena had to fight the urge to burst through the front door with Origin at her left and Celsius at her left and rescue Lloyd in the most heroic fashion she could possibly think of. Another side of her wanted to sneak in as a member of the renegades and expertly execute a stealthy and incredibly tactical extraction mission.
Yet she at least knew that Lloyd was in relatively safe hands for the most part. However, now she didn't even know if the closest friend she ever had was even still breathing the same air she was. No one would tell her anything. Zelos did everything he could to escape her eyesight, even going so far as to stab himself in the foot and sneak off. Somehow he had gotten away with it too. Inwardly, Sheena blamed Colette for being too trusting of Zelos. Then again, in all reality, Colette was smitten with the former chosen of Tethe'alla. She didn't know whether it was the fact that they were both the chosen, that he had been there to get rid of Martel, or if she was just falling into the same trap she herself fell into.
Colette acted like nothing had changed, which scared her. Either Colette was wearing one of the strongest emotional facades ever created, or she was just as in the dark as herself, only blissfully unaware that anything bad could have even happened to Lloyd. Sheena wanted to simply discount Colette and believe she knew nothing, but she knew she couldn't. Despite the seemingly "airhead" image she gave off, Colette was by far one of the most intelligent people she knew. Not smart, like Genis was, but intelligent. She could read people like books without even showing a hint of doing so.
Raine had been locked in her house since she recovered. She might have exchanged all of three words with Zelos before rushing into her home and seemingly closing herself away. Either she was completely and utterly traumatized by what happened at the Renegade base, or she was watching after Yuan. Either way, Raine was in no condition to tell her anything.
That left Yuan.
A small pebble bounced off the back of Sheena's head, causing the Mizuhoan ninja to twist around and face the direction of the mini projectile. Tossing a few pebbles in his hand was a fragile looking Yuan. At least, she thought it was Yuan. He wasn't wearing his usual outfit as it seems, but rather a pair of white pants and a blue shirt. His hair was also disorganized and completely loosed, covering more of his face than usual. She had just about the time to cock her left eyebrow before realizing that his face was totally and completely stoic. With nothing more than a quick nod, and a few nudges of his head towards a path that ran through the forest, Yuan hobbled off. She watched Yuan, the prideful and strong and completely unbreakable Yuan stumble off down the indicated path, sparing herself enough time to take a deep breath before pushing off of the gate and following suit. If anything at all, she could use the time to ask Yuan a few questions.
She followed Yuan for what seemed like a small hike in complete silence before he finally settled down, picking a private clearing beside a small brook as a stopping place. She watched the half-elf lay down on the grass, staring up at the sky and never uttering more than a grunt or two as he laid himself down. She paused for a moment, looking around the area and mentally marking down her surroundings, when she soon discovered that she was alone with the person that kidnapped Lloyd. At the very least, she could kill him and toss him into the brook.
"And I'm guessing that you're thinking about killing me and throwing me into that brook, aren't you?" Yuan spoke, startling the young ninja. Sheena had managed to take a single step back before Yuan raised a hand into the air and wagged his finger at her. "Let me talk first, and then you can do what you like. At the very least, I'd greatly prefer you killing me over Kratos."
"What?"
Yuan, with great effort and pain, forced himself into a sitting position, grunting and groaning as parts of his body seemed to betray him, causing him more pain with every movement. Sheena watched him carefully, not quite sure what to feel at that current point in time. Giving her head a small tilt, Sheena sat herself down across from Yuan, who brushed some of his hair aside and out of his eyes. Taking a moment to rearrange his thoughts, Yuan chucked one of the few pebbles in his hand into the water, lowering his head for a very brief moment before gazing at Sheena.
"Okay, ask away." Yuan started, tossing a pebble up and down in his hand.
"Why did you kidnap Lloyd?"
"Heh." Yuan opened, agitating Sheena considerably. "I didn't kidnap him. He agreed to it."
"Then why wouldn't he tell me."
"Partly because after he accepted my offer, I punched him in the face." Yuan retorted, speaking as though it were common knowledge. This, along with its delivery, visibly set Sheena aback. "The Renegade base is…well it was supposed to remain hidden this time, so I couldn't very well let just anyone into it, you know? At least not while they are conscious and all." Sheena, albeit quite un-amused, nodded along with the explanation.
"So…Lloyd would just up and leave so you could check out his exsphere?" Sheena replied dryly, loosing a dull glare at Yuan.
A small splash was the next sound to fill the silent area, slightly taking her attention from Yuan to the brook. Giving his head a quick and solid shake, Yuan grunted in pain as he felt his neck roar alive with pain. He made a mental note to never do that again before continuing on with his long overdue explanation.
"Even Angels take time to heal." Yuan muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "There is more to it than just that Sheena. Which is why much of this concerns you more than anyone else in this…hell…on this world." Yuan tossed the last of his pebbles into the brook before leaning forward, his face never once faltering from the serious persona he embodied so well. "I tried to help Lloyd just as much as I tried to research that exsphere of his. A fair exchange if you will."
"How?" Sheena inquired, tilting her head slightly. For a very brief moment, Yuan's features relaxed a bit, just long enough for Sheena to see a softer side to the half elf before they hardened again.
"Kratos drugged me in the middle of our journey those four long millennia ago. It was a special drug that caused very potent hallucinations that represented your truest emotions. Those of course being pure hatred and true love. He helped me to realize my feelings for Martel that way." Yuan began, rotating his hand in the air beside him. "Four thousand years later, I try and help Lloyd do the same. Only this time I placed him into a hibernation chamber. The problem I faced was that my hallucinations, though real feeling, were not tangible." Yuan started, pausing and looking at Sheena, who nodded once. "I believe that in a sleep state, these hallucinations would feel completely real. And that they did. It also provided me a way to scan and study his exsphere while it reacted to the reality Lloyd lived in that dream state."
"Did he mention who those feelings were for?" Sheena sheepishly inquired, pressing her index fingers together.
"I think we both know the answer to that." Yuan grumbled. "So essentially, I drugged your companion." A long sigh escaped Yuan's lips, causing him to hunch over. Sheena assumed it was because of the pain he must have been feeling, but Yuan knew all too well why he was hunched over. "Only I made a mistake. A very foolish mistake. One that has cost me a very close friend, and part of myself in the process. A mistake I will more than likely spend the rest of my eternal life dwelling over."
"…What happened to Lloyd?" Sheena asked suddenly, her softer features tensed up. When she saw Yuan hunch over a little more, she darted forward and grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to look at her. Yuan let out a small yelp of pain as he hands slapped hard into where Mithos had embedded his swords, looking up slowly at Sheena as the pain passed.
"Lloyd's exsphere was morphed after the final battle against Mithos. I couldn't understand why or what did it, not in the slightest. Not until I heard Raine explain it to me. Before I could do anything though, it was too late." Yuan continued, never really indicating what happened. Another fierce shake from Sheena brought his arms up in his own defense, pushing the ninja off of him and onto her butt. "Mithos didn't die at that battle! His Cruxis Crystal was absorbed into Lloyd's exsphere. This in turned formed something called the Aeon Jewel."
"A what?"
"It's also known as a Godstone. It is capable of giving its wearer the powers of a God. Time, space, life, death…this stone gives the user the ability to transcend past these. He or she becomes an immortal and completely unstoppable figure. By the time I realized anything, it had begun to awake. I stopped it before it fully awoke but…"
A gust of wind swept into the clearing, the grass around them bending towards the direction the wind blew. The brief interlude of nature scatted Yuan's hair back into disarray, covering half his face. Once more, Yuan pushed his hair out of his eyes, before gazing into Sheena's. He could see the fear, hatred, sorrow, and confusion all building up within her. Soon, only three of those would exist. The other would be overshadowed by the big three.
"What Lloyd saw in the vision…in that reality wasn't what was intended. He was supposed to have proclaimed his love for you in his dream before the drug's effects ended. That's how it works. This time though, what he watched was, at least according to him… you being killed by his best friends." Yuan muttered, struggling to avert his eyes from Sheena. Her lips, her arms, her entire body began to tremble in response to his statement. Sheena was beginning to see where this was going, despite the fact the she refused to believe it. "Lloyd watched you die, and then he did something I never thought I'd ever see an Aurion do." Yuan muttered as his voice became whisper weak. He coughed a few times, groaning in pain as the tremors caused by each cough rattled his damaged body.
"Where…" Sheena tried, getting as far as that word before her voice failed her. He hands bunched into fists as she tried to find words to put to her feelings. Giving her head a quick shake, she tried again, only to find herself completely unable to even speak. In frustration, she drove her fist into the ground in the hope the pain she might cause herself would give her the ability to speak. All it truly did was increase her inability to express herself and further cause her to slip into a state of grief.
"Lloyd has, at least according to him, given himself completely to..." Yuan began, straining as he reached the name he dreaded. "…Mithos." As if magic, the very word brought upon them a cloud of vengeful silence that threatened to suffocate the life out of both of them. Sheena started out slowly, her head slowly and very barely shaking left and right before she began tossing her head left and right like a madman.
"No! NO! Lloyd…LLOYD WOULDN'T DO THAT!" Sheena yelled, standing up in the process. Ceasing with her shakes, she glared at Yuan fiercely, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "You're lying! You have to be lying! Lloyd wouldn't…he…" Her voice was beginning to fail her as it all slowly but surely washed over her.
"Sheena, ask me when Martel was still alive if I ever thought Mithos would turn into this! Back then, Mithos was the exact same as Lloyd, a perfect idealist, innocent to the core. He watched his sister die Sheena. That's brotherly love. Strong, but not as strong as truest love is. And that loss turned him into the monster that you people fought against. Lloyd watched you die in front of him. That kind of loss is enough to cause a man to do different things. To Kratos, he gave up on life and became a faithful servant to Mithos. He retained some of himself, but he was dead inside for far too long. Lloyd though…Lloyd would be devastated, lost and, more than anything, completely betrayed. To him, a world without you is a world of hell. Mithos resided inside of Lloyd by his exsphere…and when Lloyd finally sna-" Yuan got no further as, for the second time that day, his face was slapped. However, unlike Raine who had demonstrated some degree of control, Sheena went for broke. The slap was strong enough to knock Yuan to the ground, causing him to cry out in pain.
"You bastard…" Sheena began, fighting tears with rage. "…You…you took the sweetest man I've ever known…AND YOU TURNED HIM INTO A MONSTER!" Sheena screamed, grabbing Yuan by the collar of his shirt and yanking him back up off the ground only to backhand him moments later. "Lloyd…how could you do that to Lloyd?"
Yuan spat out to his side, blood mixed with his spit. Despite the fact that each slap felt like getting a dropkick from a giant in his current condition, nothing hurt quite as much as the fact that he agreed with her. No matter how much he wanted to defend himself, she was absolutely right in every account.
"Sheena…I'll fix this." Yuan muttered, before he felt himself get yanked back up. He might have seen two seconds of the rage and hate and sorrow that burned furiously within Sheena's eyes before her fist caught him clean on the left of his jaw, knocking him back quite a bit and bruising her hand in the process. Yuan landed with another grunt of pain, this time refusing to even try and get back to a sitting position.
"Because of you…Lloyd is Mithos' puppet. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FIX THAT?" Sheena screamed. Even though she felt like killing and maiming more than anything else, tears began to stream down her cheeks. "The fact that the man I love…that I wanted to be with more than anyone on this planet, is now the man that tried to turn me into him…that raped my mind and tried to leave me a broken shell…" Sheena choked out, her hands trembling at her sides. "Why couldn't you have just left him alone Yuan…You didn't need him for anything more…you could have just let him be." Sheena choked, wiping tears from her eyes.
"I don't expect you to ever respect or even talk to me after this Sheena. I don't want pity; I deserve your hate and your anger. I'm just telling you now…" Yuan muttered whilst his body screamed in merciless and unforgiving pain. "…I won't rest until you have Lloyd back. I don't care what it takes, what cost I have to pay…I will bring Lloyd back." He could hear Sheena take a single step towards him, before turning around entirely and running. He didn't try and get up and watch her leave, or attempt to give any chase after the distraught woman. 'I should be hung...' Left to his thoughts, Yuan closed his eyes as he stretched out on the grass, left alone to his guilt and his determination.
------ Colette's Secret Place ------
For Sheena, crying was something she was both used to and foreign to at the very same time. She had spent most of her childhood hidden inside a little corner of her grandfather's house, more often than not in tears. She would spend hours at a time crying, stopping only briefly when she felt like anymore crying would kill her. That usually lasted until she ventured out of her home, and was verbally or even physically attacked. Then she would scatter back to her hiding place and weep. Over the years, Orochi and Kuchinawa had taken that weak, tearful girl and turned her into something to be proud of though, and she soon found her tears faded away for a tough outer shell and a pair of tearless eyes. Sure, there had been points where she would crack under the pressure. When Corrine died in her arms and left her, she cried while Lloyd kept her company and comforted her. When Lloyd was recovering from the brief encounter with Kuchinawa's poison, forced to experience vivid nightmares that caused him to sweat and moan and cry, she wept for him. When she was freed of Mithos' control, she wept openly on Lloyd for what felt like an hour.
This time, however, it felt so much more powerful than before. Each moment she fought the tears, they seemed to double in strength. Every time she tried to think of something else, she remembered something about Lloyd that drove her nearly mad. From his strong ideals to his soft eyes to his goofy smile. It was like torture. Brutal, relentless, never ending torture.
"Lloyd…" Sheena muttered, attacking her tears with her arm. "I'm not dead…I'm right here." It came out as more of a whisper than what she truly intended it to be. At that very point, she felt totally and completely helpless, unable to do anything more than cry like the damsel in distress does in all of those fairy tales. In between choked sobs, she drove her fist into the log she sat on top of, well aware that all she was doing was messing her hand up further. It didn't really matter to her at that point, what with her closest companion on the face of God's good green Earth now the reincarnation of roughly the single biggest threat the world has ever had to bear.
"You know…" A voice spoke from behind her, cutting the eerie silence into pieces. Sheena recognized who it was the second his mouth began uttering the first sound, and almost instantly felt like she would be punching something much more forgiving physically than logs and ground.
"…crying really doesn't become you." The voice finished, before plopping down beside her on the log. Sheena tilted her head just enough to see the tell-a-tale red hair that only served to confirm as to whom it was beside her.
"Not in the mood Zelos…" Sheena muttered, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "…Just go away."
"Now come on…is that…" Zelos began before he actually noticed the tone in Sheena's voice. Zelos was a bit of an airhead to say the least, but even he knew when to drop acts and consider another person's feelings. "Lloyd's going to be okay. We'll find him She-" In a swift, fluid like motion, Sheena had Zelos by the collar of his outfit. Turning her head towards the former chosen, Sheena burned into his eyes with a furious glare, the tears that stained her cheeks and held steady within her eyes only further intensifying the glare.
"Don't you DARE lie to me Zelos…Yuan told me already." Sheena growled. In the end, however, her voice betrayed her true emotions of sorrow and depression over the all too apparent anger. Zelos tilted his head to the left, eyes opened in a curious manner.
"Sheena, what are you…"
"Yuan…he told me what happened." Sheena muttered, letting go of Zelos and burying her head into her knees. "Lloyd's not missing, he's gone."
"And we're going to-"
"I mean Lloyd…the man I know as Lloyd…is gone." Sheena muttered, sniffling once before letting a miserable sob escape past her defenses. "Lloyd Irving doesn't exist anymore!" As if the final blow to a fortress gate, Sheena simply crumbled. Despite her best attempts to defend against it, Sheena mentally collapsed, sobbing and weeping uncontrollably as she wrapped her arms around her knees as tightly as she could, trying more than anything to disappear into nothingness. Beside her, while she broke into pieces, Zelos could only watch dumbfounded. He shook his head once as observed her shatter apart, running his hand through his hair as he tried to think of what to do.
"Sheena…Lloyd's not gone." Zelos began, still not sure by what she meant in the first place. Still, he knew what needed to be done. "Lloyd's still Lloyd, he's just missing is all. And come on…you've got the great Zelos Wilder on his trail. I'll bring Lloyd back home, no matter what." Zelos replied, praying to whatever God or Goddess would spare a moment to him for positive results. When Sheena looked up at Zelos and saw him wearing the same goof, irritating and comforting smile he always wore when things seem to get rough, she gave her head a furious shake.
"No! You don't understand!" Sheena yelled, stopped by Zelos as a he raised a hand to silence her.
"No Sheena, you don't understand." He poked himself in the chest with his thumb, exuding an aura of confidence and honesty. "I said I'll find him and bring him back. No. Matter. What." Zelos finished, seconds before just about being knocked off the log by Sheena. When he regained his balance, he noticed Sheena's head buried into his chest as she cried into it, leaving Zelos somewhat scared. This was still Sheena, the single toughest woman he had ever had the pleasure (or displeasure in some circumstances) of knowing. If she ever took this as him trying to take advantage of an emotionally crippled girl, she would turn him over to Origin, who would then tear Zelos apart in the most painful fashions imaginable. Sighing softly and quietly, Zelos wrapped an arm around his crying friend in need, rubbing her back comfortingly while she sobbed.
"There there…it'll be alright. I promise Sheena."
A/N: And so, Zelos makes a promise. Can he keep it? Also, Sheena breaks down considerably, something I am hoping none too many of you see that often. Next chapter, among other things, will have the fated conversation between Kratos and Yuan. Peace.
