Title: Of Shadows

Genre: Slamdunk/Romance/Angst

Disclaimer: Slamdunk and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to Takehiko Inoue.

Author's Notes: This chapter is dedicated to those who have reviewed the past two chapters and inspired me to continue. Thanks guys!


Chapter 3: Sweet and Sour memories

Hanamichi decided to rearrange his rather awkward position on the floor after realizing that he couldn't feel his legs anymore. What happened? He mused as he continued stroking his enemy's raven hair. Kaede had fallen into a quiet slumber after he had hushed him to sleep a few hours ago, leaving him alone in the dark room to ponder over things.

Kaede Rukawa, what an enigma. He stole a glance at the pale figure between the red silken covers before turning his attention back to a dark spot at the other end of the room. It was easier to think without anything to focus on.

The first time he had heard of his name at the rendezvous point atop a hill, he had been so angry. He could not believe his ears when Jin retold his story to the meager group. How could he? A little boy following the men who killed his mother before his very eyes, returning to the place he once called home only to murder his best friend to prove his worth. He was so angry and felt indignant for the boy's heartless actions. That day, he vowed that he would beat the man senseless when he saw him.

In the end, the man Rukawa Kaede defeated him instead. He remembered the scene vividly. He was kneeling on the ground reaching for his fallen sword a few feet away when Rukawa's sword pointed at him, the tip barely grazing his neck. His eyes bored into him dispassionately. He smiled a humorless smile at the memory, recalling that what happened next made his life spiral out of control.

Instead of glaring back with hatred in his eyes or running away, he had lost himself drowning in the swirling orbs of cold blue. He saw desolation and deep sadness in those orbs. Then, the walls were back up and he knew all he saw was a cold reflection. Hard steel.

For a reason he couldn't fathom at that time, Rukawa Kaede had lowered his sword and sheathed it. Turning away without a backward glance, he had left, leaving him speechless on the ground. That was when it all started. That was when Umbra's Rukawa Kaede intrigued Hanamichi.

On that fated day, he vowed to find out why his life had been spared, and to find out the history behind the sad gaze in those deep blue eyes. He sighed wistfully, fingering the raven locks of his enemy subconsciously. Vaguely, he noted that the raven hair was just as he had remembered - like silk.

The second time he met Rukawa Kaede, it was with Umbra's best – Sendoh Akira. Sendoh, that smiling porcupine, had faced off with Fujima. The battle was heated and furious, and they battled with everything they had. As for him, Kaede was his opponent. He remembered that particular fight exceptionally vividly.

"You spared my life the last time. Why?" He had hissed as he drew his sword. Seven metres away from him, Rukawa remained unfazed as he unsheathed his sword and walked closer towards him, sword pointed towards the ground at his side. He did not answer.

He mimicked Rukawa's movements, and they came closer to each other as they walked, swords sharp and glinting in the moonlight. "Explain yourself." He had growled and Rukawa graced him with a smile that did not reach his eyes. In fact, his thoughts at the time were that his smile was colder than the Artic winds, and so cynical it was dark.

"Do you wish to die?" He countered, his face giving away nothing as he countered with a question of his own. A challenge. Hanamichi blinked. That, he did not expect.

"No." He had replied, albeit confusedly.

His head lowered as the blue eyes gazed at the gravel on the ground for a moment. "And that's why you lived." And with those words, he lunged forward with his sword. Hanamichi only managed to escape unscathed because of his quick reflexes, which allowed him to distance himself far enough.

"And I'm supposed to believe that's why you let me live?" He countered as he blocked the fierce onslaught of movements from Rukawa. He saw his opponent smirk, dark humor fleeting past his eyes.

"Maybe I should kill you then, since you're so adamant on questioning my acts of kindness." The sword grazed his arm, leaving behind a trail of red blood. His blood.

He winced, throwing his weight into his sword and pushing Rukawa back. "Are they?" He spat out, eyes narrowing.

Rukawa halted in his steps for a split second, an unknown emotion fleeting across his face before his expression became cold and passive once again. Hanamichi felt his heart catch as he saw the priceless yet nameless emotion cross his features. Anger built up in him. Why, he did not know.

"So even you do not know the answer." He let out a humorless laugh, hand gripping his sword tighter than necessary.

"Shut up." His voice cut through his laugh like steel and his expression altered to become one of cold fire. Then he struck, and they talked no more.

The battle had been an inconclusive one, Hanamichi mused as he glanced down to look at his charge once again. Sendoh had called for a retreat and they were gone in a flash. He had been furious. Fujima had to dump a bucket of ice water on his head just to get him to cool down.

"You know Hanamichi, you really don't have to live up to the colour of your hair." Fujima had stated with a smug look upon his handsome features as Hanamichi glared at him through the ice water dripping down his eyes.

A slight whimper interrupted his thoughts. Tearing his gaze from the spot of nothingness that he was staring at, he looked down at him. His forehead glistened with cold sweat and his face was contorted with pain and fear.

Nightmares, he thought, as he reached out to sooth the raven hair, softly caressing his head. Still, he wrestled with his inner demons.

"Hush now," he whispered gently in a tone he never used for who knows how long. Rukawa choked back a sob and his too thin fingers fisted at his sides. "It's okay."

"Hana-kun," he cried out, tears mixing with sweat as they coursed down the corner of his eyes. Hanamichi frowned, a familiar ache forming in his chest. Following instinct, he rose from the chair to sit at the edge of the bed.

"It's okay," he whispered, putting one arm under his shoulders and lifted him bodily to rest him against his chest. He was dead weight under his arms and Hanamichi held him closer at that very thought.

He trembled, from the loss of warmth or from fear, he did not know. "Hana-kun." His voice was a faint echo from what Hanamichi remembered. "It's okay." He whispered harshly into the raven hair. "It's okay, Kaede," the name rolling out of his tongue like water. "I'm here and…" His throat suddenly became very dry and an unfamiliar pressure started to build up behind his eyes.

He had promised once, quite some time ago. When the moon had disappeared and they were hiding, from the darkness and from their common enemy, he had been feverish. His wounds were infected and it was all Hanamichi could do to keep him awake. In that state, he had confessed that he was afraid. A surge of protectiveness had coursed through him at that time, and he promised with ferocity, to Kaede and to himself, that he would protect him.

He had failed. He tightened his hold around Rukawa.

He will not fail again.

"And…and I will protect you." Face buried in Hanamichi's chest, Kaede Rukawa sobbed silently as he continued to battle with his own inner demons.


"Is it alright?" Ayako asked over her cup of hot tea, steam rising up to caress her fair face. They were sitting in the study room. Tension was high and all were anxious to know how Hanamichi fared for the night.

Fujima nodded. "It's a good batch." Jin and Akagi nodded their approvals. Ayako smiled faintly, a little pleased.

"They're my favourite," she replied before taking another sip of the aforementioned tea.

Akagi shrugged nonchalantly. "I rather much prefer the ones back home. These are too bitter for my taste." Fujima smiled, blue eyes warming.

"The North's tea leaves are famous for their bitterness. You're probably just not used to it."

The conversation was light, bordering on pointless, Jin thought as he fidgeted in his seat. Since breakfast, they had been talking about these superficial things; about the nicely bloomed flowers and how they managed to survive in the chilled lands of the north, of the weather and how it was essential to wear thick clothing (no one however, mentioned Rukawa as an example of how one would freeze) and lastly, of tea.

He coughed as he shifted again in his seat. Fujima spared him a glance while the rest settled back into contemplative silence, occasionally sipping from the ornate teacups.

"Jin." Fujima spoke - voice light yet laced with authority. "You seem exceptionally agitated today." The question, 'is something wrong?' remained unspoken.

Jin shook his head, sipping his tea (he had to agree with Akagi, they were very bitter) to buy himself some time. The others, hearing Fujima, focused on him. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the stares boring into his head.

"Well…" he shifted again. "Shouldn't we check on Hanamichi?" Suddenly, tension seemed to seep out of the room, as though everyone was relieved that somebody finally brought up the topic.

Fujima eased into the chair, focusing at the steam rising from his cup. Akagi frowned, eyes trained straight at the door. Ayako looked somewhat wistful as she fingered her cup of tea. Finally, it was Akagi that spoke.

"Does it matter?" he said in a low voice, eyes never leaving the door.

Jin felt rather flustered at the question thrown back at him. "Doesn't it?" he countered, leaning forward in his chair.

"He will succeed." Fujima's cool tone cut through the air, slicing through the awkwardness that had settled once Jin voiced his question.

"That's not the point." Jin spared his prince a wary look.

"Then what is?" His prince asked, voice leveled and gaze trained solely on him.

"Aren't any of you worried?" He shot back. Fujima opened his mouth to reply. Jin never gave him a chance as he continued his rant. "There are so much unresolved feelings between them, and Hanamichi's still angry. Besides, we haven't heard anything from them since last night! It's almost noon now. Isn't that worrisome?" Finished, he sunk back into the chair, feeling rather spent.

"Hanamichi would never hurt him," Ayako said firmly. "All that talk about wanting to kill him…are simply lies."

"Are they really?" Akagi questioned, eyebrow raised. "There's a very thin line between love and hate. How can you be so certain?"

Silence permeated the room once again, before Fujima broke it.

"Because I saw him last night. Hate will not allow him to do the things he did." Fujima noted, raising his eyes to the chandelier in the room. "Believe me when I say that the problem would be in getting him to pry anything out of Rukawa."

Akagi snorted. "You say it as though history is going to repeat itself." He was faced with a leveled stare from Fujima.

"Because I do believe it so," he said curtly.

Akagi's eyes narrowed. "I doubt so." At Fujima's raised eyebrow, he continued. "Much as I don't like the redheaded idiot, I understand that he chose to stay with Haruko. From what I gather, he loves my sister too much to start it all over again."

Fujima rolled his eyes. "You say it like Haruko-san and Hanamichi are lovers. Open your eyes, Akagi! Your sister is oblivious to Hanamichi's affections. They are no closer to becoming lovers." His voice lowered. "The only reason that he left Rukawa was because Rukawa hurt her and he happens to have a soft spot for your sister."

"So you're saying that it's my sister's fault that Hanamichi lost his one true love?" He asked incredulously, mockingly.

Fujima graced him with a sad smile. "No, I'm just saying that it is unlikely that Hanamichi hates him. In fact, I believe it to be the contrary."

"Enough!" Ayako said sternly, causing all heads in the room to snap towards her. She deflated as she saw that she got all their attention. "This speculation is uncalled for. It's not as if we can really understand Hanamichi and his feelings. Let's just focus on what is needed to be done."

"Maybe I shouldn't have spoken." Jin commented meekly, a sheepish smile upon his fair face.

Fujima sighed, shaking his head. "No. Some matters have to be cleared up, especially before Haruko comes back."

"Speaking of her, where is she?" Jin asked, looking at Akagi for answers. Her brother shrugged.

"She went to the market with the maids, claiming that she needed some exercise. Who knows?" Ayako smiled before taking a sip of her bitter tea. "In any case, Jin is right. It has been quite a while. Maybe we should check on Hanamichi. If for nothing else, to ask him to at least have brunch and take a rest."

Akagi nodded. "Maybe we should have let him rest before taking him to see Rukawa."

Fujima let out a light laugh. "Impossible! He won't be able to sleep a wink, knowing his self-proclaimed enemy is asleep next-door, before checking on him."

Jin stood up, setting his tea on the glass table in front of him. "Well then, I'd go check on him then."

Fujima nodded. "Tell me what happens." Jin gave a curt nod before exiting the room.

Ayako followed Jin with her eyes, turning back to look at Akagi and Fujima once the door hit home. "Maybe we should go along too." She proposed, chewing thoughtfully on her bottom lip.

Fujima shook his head. "No. Knowing Hanamichi, he will not appreciate having a horde of people barging in on him."

Akagi smirked. "You say it like he's doing naughty things in there." Ayako laughed merrily, eyes twinkling.

"Naughty? I'm not too sure." Fujima shrugged, grinning. "But embarrassing, most likely."

The whole room shook with laughter.

-End Chapter 3-


HNO3 – Like it? Hate it? Let me know. Go on, you know you want to!