AN: Holy Pikachu-on-a-stick, I've got me some reviews! O.O! THANKS! XD
Chapter 3: Confronting
"Ah!" He woke up, yelling and kicking around frantically. When he finally realised that he had been dreaming again, he calmed down slightly, still panting from the nightmare. He vaguely noticed that he had tears in his eyes and wiped them away, cursing himself for crying over a nightmare. He knew it couldn't be helped, crying in one's dreams, but he still hated it. He hated being weak.
It had been a week since he started to work for the General. Even though Edward had tried to make amends and apologise for running away, the words couldn't come out. Seeing that cold glare of Roy somehow made him nervous, scared and also angry. He gave up trying to apologise after two days, figuring the bastard wasn't even worth it.
They hardly said anything to each other and, if it had been up to them, they wouldn't say anything at all. The occasional 'yes, sir', 'good day, sir', 'yes, Fullmetal' and 'no, Fullmetal' were necessary, but they didn't do it willingly. Havoc, Fury and all the others did seem to be happy that Edward had returned and had welcomed him with open arms—apparently, Havoc had gotten himself a boyfriend, much to the surprise of everybody else (especially Edward, whose jaw dropped to the floor when he heard. It was actually quite funny for Havoc to see, so he told him who it was. Edward nearly lost his consciousness when he heard it was Russel.), Fury had gotten himself a wife and even Riza had a boyfriend—a man named Eric, who apparently trained new recruits.
Edward was happy that almost everything was back to normal again (with the exception of his horrid nightmares, his flashbacks and Roy) and was glad to know that everything had worked out for all of them. Everybody had a loved one, everybody was happy.
Three days after his arrival, Riza had invited him to go drink something. He thought it was very uncharacteristic of Riza to think about anything other than work, but he complied, figuring it would be a nice distraction. He was surprised, to say the least, when she told him during the drink she had actually invited him over to talk about Mustang.
"You know, I was worried when you left, Fullmetal," she had told him, taking a sip of her beer.
"At least call me Ed outside the office," Edward told her, smiling slightly. She gave a brief smile in return.
"You call me Riza then," Edward nodded. "The reason why I was worried was because the General didn't seem himself," she continued. Edward raised an eyebrow. "He was depressed and still is actually. Even more," she sighed and rubbed her temples. "I honestly don't know what to do with him anymore. It's like worrying about a child. Did something happen between you two before you left?" Edward briefly thought about telling her their conversation, how he had told him he loved him, but shook his head. He couldn't tell Riza.
"No. But… how do you know he was depressed? He didn't smirk twenty-four hours a day?"
"No, it's much worse. He hasn't been on a single date in two years." Again, Edward's jaw dropped.
"What!" Riza nodded her head gravely.
"I thought it was weird the first week. I actually didn't have to shoot him every day—I thought it was just some sort of phase, but it stayed like that. And he became quieter, did his paperwork. I began shooting him because I was annoyed at how… he behaved himself(1)." Edward sweatdropped. "I don't believe you when you say there hadn't been anything between you. You don't speak to each other, the General doesn't even comment on your height. I'd like you to tell me what happened, Ed. And if you won't tell me out of your own free will, I'll make it an order." Edward winced and vaguely noted that Riza was speaking more than she had spoken to him in the five years he had served as a State Alchemist.
"It's kind of a private thing," Edward replied, taking a sip of his coke. He really didn't want to tell her. She immediately grabbed out her gun and held it to Edward's head, who looked at her nervously.
"Tell," she growled.
"F-fine," he stuttered. "But get that thing away from me!" She complied and withdrew her gun, focusing back on her drink. Edward started speaking. "I... asked him if he could get me a date!" he exclaimed. Well… it wasn't exactly lying—it did have to do something with dating, he supposed. He felt guilty for lying to her like that though, but she'd get over it eventually.
Riza raised an eyebrow sceptically. "Really? That's it?" Edward nodded, almost a bit too hastily, but Riza let it go. "Well, I have a friend whose about your hei—I mean age, she might want to—"
"No, that's okay Riza!" The young Alchemist said. "I mean, I just got back and I'd like to spend some time with Aru(2) and Winry." Riza nodded in understanding. "Well, they're probably waiting for me to get home anyway, so I'd better be off. Thanks for the drink Riza," he said, smiling at her.
"Bye Ed."
She decided that whatever was going on between her General and Edward, she was going to find out. Honestly, what idiot would believe that 'date-story'? She grinned at herself—whatever it was, she knew Alphonse knew about it. She could make him crack.
She was just cool like that.(3)
That was that for the weird meeting with Riza. Edward had been somewhat glad about it, that she told him Roy had not dated one girl since he had left—it gave him a feeling of hope, though it was somehow small.
And, honestly, he wasn't sure if he wanted to have Roy now.
Sure, he loved him. He loved him a lot. But Roy hadn't talked to him, Roy was known to be the greatest womanizer of the army (who says he wouldn't do that to Edward himself?), Roy hadn't even written him a single letter and hadn't done anything at all to contact him. Yeah, sure, he had called Alphonse, but he hadn't called him, and neither had he written him.
Edward shrugged—part of him also knew that he wasn't being reasonable himself. That part was the more mature part of Edward, the part that was rational and calm. Unfortunately, that part rarely came out. He knew he had left Roy without a warning, hadn't called himself or hadn't even written to him, but, then again, why should he? It wasn't as if he was involved with Roy or anything, it wasn't as if Edward owed him an explanation.
If anybody should explain himself for his behaviour, it was Roy.
At least, that's what the immature part thought about it all.
Edward shrugged and looked at the time; he was already late for work. He had barely slept, because Alphonse and Winry had been a bit… loud. While they were… Edward smacked himself on the forehead—he did not want to think about what Winry and his little brother were doing last night! No way. Edward just wished those walls had been soundproof…
"Sorry I'm late," he panted when he had stormed into the office. He had been expecting some sort of sarcastic remark from Roy, while he was smirking. Something along the lines of 'Ah, Fullmetal, glad you could find time in your busy schedule to go to work. Or did the guards think you were a ten year old again?', but there was nothing. Not one remark. Just a small, cold 'good morning Fullmetal' and that was it.
Edward decided he couldn't take it anymore. The rational part of his mind took over and he decided to shove away his pride and take Alphonse's advice.
"How long do you think we could keep this up?" Edward asked. It earned him at least a look from Roy, no matter how cold it was.
"Keep what up, Fullmetal?" he asked gruffly. Edward threw his hands in the air and rolled his eyes as if to say 'you know what I mean, bastard!'. Roy took the hint and put down his pen.
"Just… I think we need to talk," Edward finally said. Roy raised an eyebrow.
"Really now? And why should we? I thought we handled everything two years ago." Edward scowled at him.
"Stop with the cold act," he snapped at him. "You think I'm happy with what I did? Of course not! But it's not like you've been a saint either."
"Oh? What have I done to upset you. If I can recall, you barged out of my door and I never saw you again. I had to hear from Fury that you were going to Drachma. You didn't even bother to tell me about that, while you know for a fact that I—"
"That you what? That you 'care' for me? Don't give me that crap Mustang," Roy remained silent. "I was upset when I left, okay? I know I made a mistake, I don't need to answer to you about it! Two years of fighting for my life have taught me that I should've never left like that, but that doesn't mean that you have to treat me like some stranger when I walked through that door a week ago, damn it. I mean, you didn't even ask me how I was doing." Edward noticed that his voice had dropped as he thought back again about the war.
How he thought he was never going to see Roy again.
How he regretted leaving him like that.
Every moment where he had nearly died, Edward couldn't stop himself from thinking about Roy's face—he had missed him so much. And then this had been his welcome. It wasn't as if Edward had expected Roy to open his arms and give him a hug, but he at least hoped that Roy was civil to him.
Roy's eyes softened a bit at the defeated tone of his voice and he motioned for Edward to sit on the gray leather couch. Edward sighed and sat down, putting his elbows on his knees and his head on the palm of his hands. He had a headache, was tired and really wished he had never started this conversation. Things were so much easier in denial…
He was surprised when Roy sat next to him, rather closely. Edward raised his head and stared up at him, blinking. Roy sighed and looked away from him, away from that golden gaze.
"You know why I was mad at you?" he asked him. Edward didn't say anything and instead waited for him to continue. He did. "It was because you left me."
"But—"
"Quiet Fullmetal," Roy interrupted him. "I know… that I said I didn't love you like that. However," he took a deep breath. "You didn't give me any time to think about it either." Edward stopped breathing. Was he implying…? "What the hell was I supposed to say? I mean, one day I'm straight as a pencil, the next day you come in, tell me that you love me and don't give me any time to even think about it."
"Does that—"
"Don't interrupt me Fullmetal," Roy said, gaining an annoyed scowl from Edward. "I thought about it for the rest of the day, you know. I got shot at by Riza twenty times," he let out a deep chuckle and Edward couldn't help but smile. "It wasn't the first time a guy confessed to me, but I never gave it much thought with those times. With you, it was different… I realised that. Besides, you kind of look like a girl any—"
"Finish that sentence and die, Mustang," Edward growled angrily. Roy smirked at him.
"Ah, still sensitive about your looks, I see." Though Edward looked like he could kill the bastard, he was actually glad—the smirk was back. The sarcasm was back. "Do you… still love me?" Roy asked, hesitantly. Edward's cheeks turned slightly red and he nodded. No use in denying it anyway. Roy's smirk came back again. "You want to go on a date tonight then? I'd like to try, if you're willing." Edward looked at him, a calculating look on his face, before he smiled softly and nodded.
Inner-Edward was jumping up and down in victory.
(1) I like Riza, I think she's awesome! X3 One of the few female anime-characters I really like, together with Rukia from Bleach and some others. I just can't see her with Roy though… I mean, she acts more like a mother to him xD.
(2) See? I DO take the advice of my readers! XD Honestly though, I read a couple of fanfics where his name was spelled out 'Alu', and a couple with 'Aru'. I didn't know which one to choose, so I decided to go for 'Alu', because the other one sounds like something a parrot would say T.T Maa, guess it can't be helped XD.
(3) She is! And is it me, or is this not turning out angsty? O.o Told you I was bad at writing angst T.T I'm more of a humour-type xD
