Disclaimer- I don't own the Naruto franchise nor its characters.


The meeting with the Godaime Hokage was scheduled to start 5 minutes ago and Kakashi had just one thing on the back of his mind.

What excuse would he use today for his tardiness?

He was pretty sure that "helping a cat or an old lady" had been used last week, so to not get overly repetitive, he considering using his least favorite one.

Lost on the path of life.

Amazing how the most absurd excuse imaginable was probably the only one that came close to the actual reason he arrived late at every Hokage summon or otherwise.

The memorial stone currently in front of him always served as the reminder of that.

He truly was lost.

No matter how much he paid tribute to Rin, Minato and Obito the burden never seemed to diminish.

If anything, each blunder he made outside the confines of the memorial just served to increase his anguish every time he came back to this place.

To come back to the resting place of his sensei, after having failed Naruto as an acquaintance of his father and as his Jounin instructor.

Naruto had grown up being hated and disgraced by the same village his father and mother had put their lives for. Kakashi just stood by and watched.

But of course, he couldn't just do something, he was an ANBU, not in a position to raise even a pet, let alone a full-fledged child. Add to that his immense trauma and guilt and honestly, no one could blame him for not having taken care of the kid.

Minato would surely understand.

Alas, his answer would never come from his name in the memorial stone, and so his guilt never wavered either. Another excuse to add to the pile.

And as has become characteristic of his luck, it didn't end there.

As jounin instructor, his misgivings were even more severe. Having his student shunned for the better part of his Chunnin Exams training, just to have the kid be shipped off with his godfather later the same month.

He liked to think that the training trip his student was currently having with Jiraiya would do him well. Far better than he ever could anyway and the blonde would be able to bond with someone connected to his father that had the emotional stability to look him in the face and not think of Minato and the burden that came with it.

Since he couldn't say the same for himself.

Another excuse to give the names in the memorial, in an ever-ending list of those he had to give out daily.

Still, Naruto would get the training necessary, whether that would be the training he was not able or willing to give, at this point, didn't matter.

That still left another failure in his hands, unfortunately, and one he had been avoiding confronting these past few months.

Sasuke had fled the village.

The student that he saw so much of himself in, that he dedicated his entire time and attention, to even going as far as shunning his other two genin just to train him, had fled his Konoha.

People would tell him it was not his fault, that Sasuke was doomed from the start with his power obsession. That no sane person could ever have come out of such a disaster as the massacre of one's family.

Kakashi allowed himself to laugh at a description that was once used for the White Fang's deranged son. The "friend-killer" as he was so often called during his ANBU days. Apparently, he would kill both of his comrades before failing a mission.

In an ironic twist of fate, he had already done just that. And failed the mission.

Maybe that's why such a stupid nickname stuck in his mind after so long, he could never truly forgive himself for his actions to Obito and Rin.

Beyond that, wasn't that exactly what Sasuke had become? A friend killer like his instructor?

No, if Naruto had been killed that day in the valley, Kakashi wouldn't be here standing in front of Minato's memorial. Even his guilt had limits.

"I won't allow my comrades to die" and "Those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash".

His own father's and Obito's legacy lived on while there was still a single shinobi upholding their values.

Kakashi couldn't help but think he was doing a pretty bad job at it so far.

What good did all those genin team rejections, under the guise of looking for teamwork, when his only approved team had two trying to kill each other in less than a year?

He thought that he could help Sasuke, and in the process, forgive some of his past. Characteristic of his luck once again, the opposite happened.

So what kind of trash would Obito catalog him under now, after a broken promise and a failure to his ideals?

The name engraved in the memorial stared back at Kakashi. Same answer as always then.

The ghosts of his past were just that, ghosts. The dreams he could endure, he had been having those since adolescence after all, what is one more nightmare of Chidori killed friends in the mountain of dread that his conscience was already. Nothing.

But fate wouldn't be so kind to him.

A flamboyant boy with dreams of becoming Hokage, a medical kunoichi in training smitten with the final link of the group, a solitary and arrogant brat filled with rage over his family's demise.

A blind man could see the parallels. Didn't hurt less when it turned out even worse than its predecessor. The damage their actions would cause was still to be seen after all.

But that's enough reminiscing for one memorial stone session he thought, more guilt and he might end up tripping.

When he finally arrived at the window of the Hokage's office, the meeting was well underway.

Then, everyone stopped and just stared at him with their collective groan of "what excuse now?"

And for the first time since he could remember, Kakashi just shrugged and motioned for the Godaime to continue, not caring to give any surreal excuse such as lost on the path of life.

It was probably easier that way.

He just hoped Obito would forgive him for this one oversight.

And all the other ones as well.


Just like last chapter, any criticism is welcome.

Thanks for reading.