Forever Bleeding Chapter 2

The wedding had been an extravagant, elegant ceremony with flourishes of white, red and light pink. It was the first time in years that Integra had worn make-up and even now, at her own wedding, she had barely grazed her lips with the lipstick that she owned. She had hardly had her hair done, merely curled at the ends. That small modification changed her appearance radically, gave her a soft, more feminine look. Her eyes were soft, she wasn't stressed, she was totally relaxed calm and serene. Yet underneath that soft virgin winter-white dress, she was trembling, screaming. Integra dreaded what was to come after the reception. Deep down she knew she wasn't ready consummate her marriage with anyone. She didn't trust Princeton, why should she? He was the son of a council member that she despised. Integra feared for the worst, she was afraid that if she messed up in the bedroom that all of council would know, she didn't want to be humiliated again. She became dazed as she lost herself in her thoughts.

"Integra dear? Are you allright?" Princeton asked.

"Yes Princeton, actually I'm just a bit nervous. Wedding night jitters."

"Actually I do think it's time that we leave the party." He replied.

"I'm not ready yet, I don't want to go upstairs anyway."

"Integra, there's next to no one left, only a few of the council members."

"Bloody hell, what time is it?"

"It's almost one a.m."

"Damn, I need to start to get ready for bed anyway."

"Integra, are you trying to avoid the wedding tradition of the marriage consummation?"

"I'm only trying to stall. I won't lie." She admitted.

"Why don't you go on upstairs, I need to talk with my father for a spell." Princeton remarked, giving a quick peck on the cheek.

"all right." She said. She rose from her chair and headed towards the bedroom, she was shaking slightly. As she entered the room she made her way to the vanity and sat at the chair, she removed her long wedding gloves and her makeup. Then, she sat, and waited for her new husband to come back to the room. Integra felt like she had been sitting forever when he returned.

"Still in your dress I see." He remarked moving behind her to gently place his hands on her smooth, creamy shoulders. She bent her head forward and Princeton's hands slowly rubbed her neck. Integra let out a small whimper as Princeton began to unzip her dress. "Integra, I'll be gentle, I promise that I won't hurt you." Integra couldn't help but begin to cry, life was becoming so much of a burden it was the only way that she found release. Never before had she cried in front of someone, but she couldn't help herself, she tried to control the saltwater drops that flowed down her cheeks but the matriarch couldn't . She finally, after ten long years, she broke down and couldn't take it anymore.

"No, Princeton, it's not that, it's not the sex. I can't be your wife. I really can't. I'm not at all ready for this. I don't know you. I can't be affectionate towards you. I can't respond to you. I can't be a wife, or a mother, I don't have it in me, I wasn't raised that way. This marriage can't possibly work. I'm sorry Princeton, I can't. I'm sorry."

"Integra, my love, you'd be amazed at what you can do. You are a strong powerful woman, you'd make a good mother. I have strong feelings for you, please, please attempt this Integra, I promise you won't be disappointed."

"Princeton, I can't, I really really can't I want to, but I already know that it won't work, please you have to believe me. I don't want this."

"My dear, please I didn't know you would give up so quickly."

"I'm not giving up."

"You're caving, giving up, you're letting the enemy win, this is what they want, they want you to stay single, to stay virgin so that they can be the ones to take it from you. They don't want your family line to continue."

"I can't give up, but I feel so…lost."

"Let me guide you Integra, let me be the one to fill that void in your life. Please."

"Princeton I-"

"Don't do this to me, you've been through the marriage, why not give it a try?"

"Princeton.-"

"I swear Integra, I will be gentle, I promise I won't hurt you."

"It's not that Princeton, I'm not ready for this."

"For marriage?"

"For sex, I can't handle this. I really can't."

"I'll go slow."

"Princeton, please."

"Relax, just settle down."

"Not too fast."

"I won't. I promise."

"Just be easy. I'm nervous."

"I will, you can have your pet kill me if I don't". He softly nuzzled her neck, drinking in the soft scent she had. His hand lightly brushed her thigh. She was well toned, and he could feel it. He could feel every trained muscle in her body, every tenseness. He could feel the nervousness in her shaking form. Gently he touched her. He went as smoothly and gently as possible. He wanted so much for this to be a pleasant experience for her. It was beginning to become an agonizing experience for him.

"You're agonizing over this too much, just get it over with. I'm getting tired."

"Dammit, I am trying to make this pleasing for you, Integra!"

"I have no libido, just…just do whatever." She muttered closing her eyes tightly.

Princeton tried his best that night to make the experience pleasurable for her. He didn't know if it worked or not.