Chapter 11: Never Miss
-I don't know what you did to Doreen, you freak, but fix it immediately! Malveen flipped over his desk
-I'm gonna leave this one to you, buddy, Jango hid in a corner.
-Well! I'll have to do what I do best! Helmeppo responded before running out of the room.
Slamming the door open, he stared out at a sea of mercenaries; swords in hand, dollar signs in eyes. They fell over each other running up the stairs to Helmeppo, catching him between them and Malveen.
-Skillful Escape!
He elegantly leaped through the air, pulled out his knives and stabbed them into the mast. -Heh, eas-, A wooden plank engraved itself over Helmeppo's head.
-Hey, hey, wait a minute! Malveen paused in the middle of pulling out a new plank.
-If you kill me, you'll lose the only way to wake Doreen out of her trance! Malveen considered Helmeppo's words, nodding slightly, before walking into his office. Ten seconds later he emerged with his hand around Jango's throat.
-Drop down or he goes!
Looking back-and-forth between the bloodthirsty mercenaries and Jango's pleading face, Helmeppo sighed and dropped down. He landed in a mercenary's face, using the force of the rebound to send himself flying again.
-Death Disk!
Helmeppo threw his knives in mid-air; they spun so fast they turned into nearly invisible disks, slicing through the mercenaries before returning to his hand. He landed with a theatrical bow.
-How the hell did you do that? My grandma looks like more of a man than you are! One of the mercenaries cackled. Helmeppo loosed his joints before striking a fighting pose and muttering:
-Secret Technique: Shade Throw!
-I may not have muscles like beach balls but I got speed and technique! Ask your mother!
Filled with childish rage the mercenary tried to grab Helmeppo, who smoothly dodged.
-Slipping out of your hands like an infant-you slipping out of the nurse's hand! Helmeppo gently kicked his opponent to the ground.
-Slippery bugger! We'll just overwhelm you! The mercenaries ganged up on Helmeppo, swords raised.
-Great! Then I won't have to walk the distance between you when kicking your asses! Helmeppo teasingly waved his hand like a pro wrestler.
A half-giant lunged towards Helmeppo, who jumped into the air and landed on his arm. Unable to support the extra weight the mercenary tripped into his allies, taking them down like bowling pins.
-All the physical force isn't worth crap against the flow of battle! Four mercenaries rushed towards Helmeppo from different directions. Instead of trying to escape, Helmeppo stood still, fighting his anxiety to calmly observe his attackers.
The one coming from the right sliced towards Helmeppo's head but flew through thin air, slicing up the nose of the one coming from the right. A simple tap to the shoulder combined with the excess force of the swing sent the attacker to the floor, stabbing his fellow attacker in the foot. Finally, Helmeppo backflipped through the air and kicked the opponent coming from behind in the face.
-Incompetent bufoons! Malveen shouted.
-If you think you're going to outmaneuver us with your fancy tricks, you're wrong, brat! The ship rocked as Malveen jumped from the balcony and landed in front of Helmeppo.
-Furious Fighting Fish-Man Flurry!
Malveen punched a hundred times a second. It took all of Helmeppo's Observation Haki to dodge in-between the attacks until Malveen stopped. Trying to regain his breath he sadly let his guard down.
-Married Mercenary Man's Mayhem!
Malveen picked Helmeppo up with one hand while hitting him to the other, before simply dropping him on the floor like a trash bag.
-What the hell am I supposed to do with this guy? Such strength and speed, my frail body can't do crap! Tears began to clutter Helmeppo's vision.
-Now, tell me what you did to Doreen and what mission you are on, or this face is the last thing you see… Malveen put his face uncomfortably close to Helmeppo's.
The sense of fear and powerlessness that Helmeppo felt reminded him of the people he had seen abused by his father. The townspeople, the pirate hunter, his own mother, all of whom's pain he had ignored to please his dirtbag father. But, he wasn't the scared, spoiled brat he had been then. Years of training and his friendship with Koby had inspired him to improve; especially those words, forever ingrained in his heart…
Navy Training Dojo, a year earlier…
-I did it! Helmeppo emerges into a forest clearing, drenched in sweat from a five-hour training run.
-Whooo! Helmeppo! Koby runs up and embraces his friend. Their joy isn't shared by the other recruits, for whom it had been a twenty-minute brisk walk.
-Well, the higher-ups got bored of waiting and went to get coffee! I'll go get them! Koby jumped into the air and Moon Walked away. The second he was gone the other recruits surrounded Koby.
-Hey, what's happeni- Helmeppo was slapped across the face.
-Now that your terrifying little boyfriend is gone, let me ask you a question; who the hell do you think you are!? The G-2 is one of the most prestigious Navy bases; and yet you are a fragile fool who'se only good at stupid ballet tricks and talking your moth off! You're only here because your friend is the Fist's latest freak!
-H-hey, now, I won't deny that there is some truth in what you say, and I'm sorry about the game…
-A weakling doesn't have a place here, do you understand? If you know what's good for you, you'll take the first boat home and never come back!
-Hey, what's going on? A dark voice hiding unchecked fury rumbled through the room. The navy recruits turned around to Koby looking down at them from across the sky, like a god fresh out of mercy.
-E-ehm, nothing, man! We were just talking about the run! The bully nervously chuckled.
-Ooooh, that's great, Koby suddenly appeared right next to the bully; his head leaning to the side.
-Because if you were being mean to my friend, I would have to give you a very stern…talk, the bullies nodded slightly before running out of the forest clearing to get a career change.
-Oh, why did they leave? We were having such a nice talk! Koby failed to read the room.
-You don't have to come in and save me. I know they're right, Helmeppo sighed.
-About what? Koby sat down next to his friend.
-That I'm a loser, that's what! I left on this entire journey with you to become more of a man than my father! But while you became stronger through Garps training, all I learned to do was talk and run away! I'm still just a coward!
Koby furrowed his brow; despite his lack of social skills he recognized that his friend was deeply upset.
-Well, I think that's a great thing! He shouted loudly, as he had understood that was a thing you did when emphasizing emotions.
-If you settle things with words, no one gets hurt! If you can easily escape from your opponent, they have to listen to you eventually! Koby passionately declared.
-And, if you ever end up in a situation where only pure force can help, I'll fight for you! Helmeppo's cheeks turned tomato red.
-Everyone should be allowed to live to their fullest potential! That's the kind of world I want to create as an admiral! Unable to contain their excitement, Koby and Helmeppo hoisted their fist into the air.
When the adrenaline rush laid off, Helmeppo and Koby stared at each other, both punching into the air in the middle of an empty forest clearing room. They stood silent for a few seconds before falling over laughing…
-I'll tell you what mission I am on, Malveen moved closer to Helmeppo.
-A mission to take you down! Helmeppo threw his knife through the air. It flew straight above Malveen's head before disappearing.
-Hah, you missed! Helmeppo internally rolled his eyes.
-I never miss! Behind you!
Malveen turned around only to see Jango throw the knife! He missed once more. Fed up with his tricks, Malveen turned around to crush Helmeppo only to stare straight into the pendulum dangling from the knife's handle.
-Would you be open to diplomacy now!?
-How did it go? Drake picked up the Transponder Snail sporting Helmeppo's butt cheek and silky hair. Though he didn't hear Helmeppo's voice; instead he heard a very… passionate sea shanty.
-They may be Gigante, but they're not large where it counts!
-It took a bit of hypnosis, and even then I had to turn on the charm, but Malveen and his wife came to the conclusion that stabbing the Gigante's in their oversized back was the right choice!
-Great, it was just in the nick of time. Turn around your ship and start traveling; in just ten minutes the Gigante Boss Rafael will be in town. Captain X Drake, over and out!
-In just five minutes? I thought he was going to be there at twenty past five, it's a quarter past now!
Drake looked at the clock and then at the "1000 Fun Facts about Dinosaurs!" book he had been reading.
-I need to go!
Luckily finding the meeting spot was easy; Rafael Gigante could be clearly seen from across town. He was maybe three times the size of his son, clad in an oversized suit and wearing knuckles and a cat-like scratch across his face. Drake also noticed white stripes around his wrists and ankles, like he had been bound by chains.
-Y-yes, your mercenaries were already here an hour ago and took all of Von Sally's left-over scraps!
Rafael's eyebrows (both the size of a human leg) furrowed.
-You expect me to believe that? The ground shook with each word.
-W-well, it's true! You should be able to see their ship from up there! Rafael squinted out at sea.
-Damn, you're right! I suspected that coward Malveen would pull something like this! Quick, lend me your best ship and a Transponder Snail!
The entire crowd turned ghost pale. If Rafael got down to the harbor, he would discover the G-5 setting up the cannons.
-Well, could you not take your o-own ship, great Rafael? Our simple vessels could never…
-Don't try to weasel your way out, human! If I have to run all the way back, those rats will get away! Now, show me the way! The mayor nervously turned to look at Drake. He had no chance fighting the Gigante and he didn't have anything to hold over him. So, with his back against the wall, Drake did what Helmeppo had taught him.
Improvise.
-Yes! Yes, O mighty giant! There is a ship perfect for your size lying ready in the harbor! Please, don't harm us! Rafael chuckled.
-You're realistic! I like it! Drake, the mayor and a posse of guard began walking down to the harbor
-Pssst! What's the plan? Are your men lying in wait or something? An army of one thousand here to save the day? Drake didn't respond, stressing the mayor out even more, because as the pressure of the situation mounted things had clicked together in his head. The navy base that refused to answer; Bino's remark about a "dotted cat"; Rafaels strange wounds and finally, why the Gigante had even decided to target Bon Lisse in the first place.
-The guns were sold illegally! They've been sent to retrieve them! Drake exclaimed. The mayor raised an eyebrow.
-I need to run now, but get Rafael to Al and Co's old building!
-But that's where all of the Von Sally's resources are being kept! You'll lead him right to them!
-I'm sorry, but if I'm right, this is our one shot!
The ground shook as Rafael stepped into the harbor.
-What's the deal with these cannons!? Wait a minute…
An electronic humm filled up the area. Behind Rafael Drakewas pointing one of Von Sally's guns at a large pile of Lovey-Dovey mushrooms and Germa weapons.
-What's this trick, you idiot!?
-On the ground next to you is a Transponder Snail. Call your entire family and tell them to pursue that boat, or I'll blow up this entire stash, Drake's voice hadn't a drip of hesitation.
-Oh, you think I care!? If you do, I'll just burn this village to the ground!
-I know you're in no position to negotiate. Even if you do kill us, you stand no chance against the CP0. What's best for you is to turn yourself over; they can't kill you in prison without making a fuzz.
Realizing that Drake was right, Rafael gave up. He willingly was tied up and told each of his family members to pursue Nemo through Transponder Snail. As their ships passed by they were shot down in a fiery blaze.
-Aaaaargh! I can't take it anymore! Rafael ripped his chains apart. He was taken out by an avalanche of cannon balls, kicked by Longleg workers. At last, Bon Lisse was freed.
Much, much later that night, after an extensive rescue effort by the G-5, the Bon Lisse citizens and the mercenaries, all of the Gigante and their men were safely tied up on land. While Helmeppo was out partying, Drake was finishing up the mission.
-Well, I've worked out everything with Rengoku. I leave it to you to transport these gangsters to the local Navy base, and after you're done, you'll live free on the high seas, Drake shook Malveen's hand.
-It's been an honor doing business with you! What's your next destination?
Drake looked out over the sea.
-The island is named Valentina.
A pristine white city overlooking a shimmering turquoise sea. The number one tourist destination in the West, it is rich in history and beauty. Though, the name Valentina carries a heavy meaning. It's an island ruled by the most cruel mafia family; its magnificent exterior fueled by millions in blood money. On that island of equal beauty and death, Koby was preparing for the hardest challenge of his life; going on a date.
Damn, this chapter's got a lot going on! I don't know where to start. Ehhhhh I've got some plans for the CP0 so I'm happy I could get that in there. Helmeppo's crush on Koby is also some real long-game shit. I got to introduce not only yo mama-jokes, but also dick jokes in this chapter. There will be more to come
