A/N: She's updating on the front end of a chapter rather than the tail-end? Must be important! I've finally realized that I am loved and you all are loved ten times as much in return, so I thought I'd take a moment and say... Thank you so much, you reviewing people, you! You like me, you really like me! (Well... There was that one guy, but we shall not speak of him.) No more inferiority complex for me! Yay!
That said, I'd like to address a comment made in one of my reviews. Someone mentioned that I had previously been trying to keep Dreamworks in mind when I did this, but so far my Dreamworks-style humor has been lacking. The fact is my sense of humor is rather dry and caked with obscure references, so things that I find funny probably aren't funny to the rest of the world, and especially wouldn't be defined funny by Dreamworks. So I think that's a lengthy way to say, I lied. I wanted this to be filled with humor and wit... But then the Dark Side beckoned and the angst gods demanded a sacrifice, and everyone's sanity is suffering. So now there's ANGST, nothing but ANGST and DRAMA! Actually, that's an exaggeration. There is less angst now. Most of the angst was divulged in that last chapter, but there probably won't be as much slapstick, gut-roaring humor as there probably should be. That makes me as sad as it probably makes you sad, but there are things we must sacrifice for the sake of plot! ...But don't worry, I'll try to throw random humor in here and there when it's appropriate... Until then you'll have to enjoy my dry sense of humor, because it's all I've got.
As for those of you who enjoy sap and romance... Well, this chapter is for you. The comedy fans shall not be left behind though! There's still some humor... Somewhere, and the next chapter promises to be very lighthearted for the most part.
Okay, no more talk! So much talking must stop. On with the show!
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
-Damien Rice
Chapter Five- Ever Fallen
"You wanted to see me, Queen Xylia?"
The old she-wolf lay sprawled on the stony ledge outside of her cave, where two large male wolves stood guard, their eyes never wavering from their queen. Even as Ruby approached the regal creature, they didn't move. That, however, was to be expected seeing as she practically had some sort of diplomatic immunity when it came to everything she did- even in having the audacity to approach the queen in a manner that no one else was allowed to.
"Tristan has told me some rather unsettling news," the queen's throaty voice rasped. Ruby froze and the old wolf chuckled, sensing the hesitation and slight fear that gripped the little raccoon. "Does that give you reason to be nervous, Ruby?"
The female raccoon tried to collect herself and shove her emotions away. There was no reason to suspect that Tristan's words really had anything to do with RJ, and even if they did, there was nothing to be worried about. She certainly wasn't in love with him or anything. If Tristan had filled the queen's ears with sugared lies, she'd deny the accusations in an instant. After all, she was the queen's ambassador and that slimy rat of a fox was only the chief food gatherer, a hardly lofty title. The queen would surely take her word over his.
"No, your highness. It's just that Tristan has been oddly belligerent the past few days. I just grow weary of his embittered attempts at blackmail and sabotage."
Queen Xylia laughed in a cold, hoarse way that sent shivers down Ruby's spine all the way to the tip of her ringed tail. "Yes, he's an arrogant one, but he's smart. Too smart. That's why he's stuck gathering food for the ignorant masses and not up here where you're standing. I can't afford someone that smart in a position of power lest he undermine my authority. So you'll forgive me if I feel the need to trust his word."
Ruby tried not to show any expression on her face even though her heart was racing, denoting the effect those words had on her. Xylia listening to Tristan? That was a new and highly unfortunate development. She had never listened to him before now. What had he told her to suddenly make that change?
The queen went on, her voice turning so cold that Ruby believed the temperature around her dropped a few degrees in the wake of her words. "Tristan tells me you're getting rather cozy with that new raccoon that arrived yesterday."
"I'm not!" Ruby shook her head, clenching her paws into fists tightly. Say it a little more vehemently, maybe you'll make yourself believe it too. She forced her mind to shy away from that thought. It would betray her.
Xylia didn't look like she believed her words in the slighest. "Ruby, don't lie to me. I know your heart just as I know my own, as black as it is. You're fragile, emotionally volatile. You're a wounded dove who will fall into the arms of the first male who offers her his warmth and kindess just so she can feel worth something and be able to fly again. Do you remember what became of you when you swore you were strong enough to seduce that fool Aiden? You weren't strong enough, were you, Ruby?"
No... She wasn't strong enough. Xylia was right about that and everything else, even though she hated to admit it. She wasn't as strong as she swore to herself she was. There'd always be someone who would destroy what she had belived to be well-made defenses as if they were nothing, and then she'd either get hurt by them or she'd face the other alternative, which was far worse.
"Ruby, do you remember what you were like when I first found you? A starving, cold, little kitten, all alone in the world, and too young to truly comprehend the cruelties she'd suffered at the hands of the merciless. I raised you to be the beautiful creature you are today, and how do you repay me? By spurning all my teachings and falling in love."
"I'm not in love!" Ruby snapped before realizing who she was talking to. Xylia snarled and whirled on her just as her two guards snapped to attention, growling at their queen's heels.
"I can see it in your eyes! It's the same look you had when you turned your back on me to be with that pathetic fool. Don't you realize that you are nothing without me, Ruby? They can't give you what I can give you! They can't give you strength and power. All they can give you is merely a brief moment of passion that means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Why do you think I made you watch as I ripped your last lover apart before your very eyes. It was to discourage this from ever happening again. Do you want him to die?"
Ruby choked. "No."
"Then for your sake, you better not be in love with him," Xylia turned and moved back towards the cave, snarling at her two guards as she passed. They whimpered in the wake of their queen's apparent rage and then shot Ruby dark looks as they resumed their places. Without another word, the female raccoon took off running down the mountain path and didn't stop until she reached the bottom. Only then, did she stop to rest, sinking onto a large rock, her breathing coming in spurts from the over-exertion.
Tristan apparently knew which of the queen's buttons to push to turn her against her. Xylia was belligerent when it came to the idea of Ruby falling in love and abandoning her duties as her so-called "mole" in the valley. She tried to reassure herself that the old wolf's anger had come without merit and she had nothing to worry about, but the fact was she had stopped being able to lie to herself about this last night when RJ had his fit. She was honestly falling for him, which was a danger to her as well as to him.
And yet... Despite the danger, it felt good to finally admit it to herself even though it scared her. She hadn't known the risks when she'd fallen for Aiden. She'd only known the love and passion he instilled in her.
But RJ wasn't Aiden. They were nothing alike. Aiden had loved her unconditionally and would have died rather than see her hurt. Xylia was so insulted by this, she actually killed him herself. He had embraced his death proudly like a martyr. In a way, he had been a martyr, but those who he martyred for never knew of his sacrifice. She had watched the entire thing, forcing herself to be strong just to impress the mistress who had forced this upon her. Later, she had vomited herself sick and spent the night in a tree near the Sanctuary, crying in despair and asking for something, anything to kill her.
But RJ... His attitude towards her was as mixed and ambiguous as hers was towards him. His personality had multiple layers to it that she couldn't even begin to sift through. At the surface, he was a charming, sharp-witted, sarcastic little scoundrel, but below that... What? He was obviously just as haunted as she was, but by ghosts of a different sort. He seemed to be able to suppress his much better than she suppressed hers, since it seemed to her that he had never lost control before last night. Was she attracted to him merely because she saw a weakness that had never been shown before? Did she feel it was her badge of honor to win his heart simply because of that?
She didn't need to wonder. She didn't need to think about it, because it would only wind up ending badly. Xylia was onto her before anything even had the chance to begin, and she would not watch another lover die. She couldn't handle it.
But her heart ached to think of going on without knowing if this was a love worth risking the danger. Maybe she could hide the truth from Xylia. Maybe Tristan could be persuaded to keep his mouth shut. Maybe their love could go on without anyone from the darker side of her life finding out.
Or maybe she'd finally be strong enough to tell Xylia no.
She laughed suddenly for a long time. This was so foolish! She'd be risking both their lives by even thinking about pursuing him, and besides... The way he acted this morning all but proved he had no desire to pursue her any longer. Since when did she become just a lovesick idiot?
And yet... Maybe she liked the danger.
Maybe she liked the intrigue.
Maybe she liked the mystery.
Maybe she liked it this way.
"Feeling better, RJ?" Hammy asked as he hopped backwards along the path, facing RJ and Verne.
"Sure, kid." It wasn't a lie. That long nap had done wonders for him. He'd shoved the memories back into the furthest recesses of his mind and locked them away once again. He'd even, at least mentally, forgiven Ruby, even though she really hadn't done anything wrong. If anything, she'd saved his life back there, and for that he was grateful.
But none of that mattered anymore. He was just glad to be back to his old self, and to show his elation at that fact, he'd offered to take a stroll through the forest with Hammy and Verne. The midafternoon had, undoubtedly, brought with it the heat and humidity so familiar to the dog days of summer, but it was hardly noticible beneath the shady canopy of the trees that loomed overhead.
"So what do you guys think of this place?" RJ asked, looking around him and taking it all in.
Hammy leapt in the air excitedly. "I love it! I want to stay here forever and ever and ever!" He continued a chorus of "and evers" ad infintium while hoppping around in circles. Verne and RJ watched him with amusement.
"While I don't share his utter enthusiasm," Verne chuckled, "I have to admit I like it here too."
"Oh yeah? How are you and Velma getting along?"
Verne tried to hide a blush. "Well... I guess it's going okay."
"You really like her, don't you?" RJ laughed, noting the expression on his friend's face.
"I really do," Verne said without missing a beat, brutal honesty in his green eyes.
"Well, what are you doing standing around here with me and Hammy like some garden variety bachelor, man?" A grin broke out on RJ's face as he leaned over the blushing turtle. "Go and get the girl!"
Verne's expression was slightly perturbed. "RJ, you know I'm not the 'go out and get the girl' kind of guy."
RJ would not be deterred. "We just need to improve upon your image a little. Get you to come out of your shell."
Verne looked horrified. "What?"
RJ rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Not literally. Now first things first...Show me your sexiest pose."
"...Come again?"
"Work with me here, Verne!" RJ pounded a tiny fist into his palm impatiently.
"I don't think I can..."
"Of course you can! Every male has a God-given talent for being sexy. It's a crucial part of our existence."
"...Really?"
"Of course!" RJ waved his arms excitedly. He paused and calmed down, holding his palms out in front of him as he took a deep, healing breath. "Here. Allow me to demonstrate." The next few moments went by in a montage of various expressions, coupled with body language that were apparently RJ's definition of "sexy." Verne watched with a odd mix of horror and mild interest.
"I repeat, I don't think I can do that," he said when RJ finished his posing.
"You can and you will," the raccoon said matter-of-factly. "Here, allow me." With speed and nimble agility, RJ began to move the turtle's limbs in order to get an accurate pose, despite Verne's protests. When he was done, he backed up and examined his work. "Well? How do you feel?"
Verne eyed the odd contortions his arms and legs were currently in and gave RJ a dark look. "Like an idiot."
"Okay, that wasn't what I was going for," RJ murmered to himself, massaging his chin. "How about this?" Ignoring Verne's continued protests, he started all over again, completely unaware that Ruby had just arrived.
Hammy was still twirling about, singing his chorus of "and evers," and acknowledged her arrival with a small wave which she returned with a nervous grin. She stood for a moment, watching RJ and Verne continue their "sexy pose" shuffle until she could bear watching it no longer and cleared her throat. Both raccoon and turtle froze comically with RJ pulling both of Verne's hands over his head while the turtle attempted to balance on one foot.
"Am I interrupting anything?"
RJ released Verne's hands, causing him to topple over on his back. "Uh... No, actually. I was just... Teaching Verne... The finer points of ballet!"
"Ballet?" Ruby looked at him with a bemused look in her blue eyes, her tone of voice implying she didn't believe a word he was saying.
"It's a well known fact that chicks dig a guy who can dance. Isn't that right, Verne?"
Verne peered at RJ over his stomach, still uselessly tipped onto his back. "I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I'm never listening to anything you say ever again, since it all it ever does is end with me feeling very humiliated."
"Don't say it unless you mean it, Verne," RJ chuckled. He suddenly became aware of Ruby slipping her fingers around his, a gesture that stunned him, though it wasn't entirely unwelcome.
"Let's take a walk."
RJ blinked a few times in surprise and then he smiled, completely forgetting that he had been angry at her earlier this morning. "Is that a proposition?"
"Just come with me."
"You're the boss, lady." He turned to Verne and Hammy (who was still skipping about) and waved. "I'll catch you on the flip side, boys. See you tonight."
"Okay, RJ... I'll just... Lie here."
"You do that," RJ said, saluting his friend as Ruby started to pull him away. As soon as he was out of sight, Verne sighed discontentedly.
"You think you know a guy and then he runs off with the first female he sees, abandoning his friends in the process..."
Hammy finally stopped skipping and helped Verne to stand. "Don't worry, Verne, RJ's just exhibiting a primal need to exert himself as a male, and to do that he needs the company of a female of his species. It's just a part of life."
Verne stared blankly, completely dumbfounded by the fact that it was Hammy, of all people, who had pointed that incredibly true and deep statement out to him. The squirrel noticed the look of beweilderment and cocked his head to the side.
"What?"
"Nothing." Verne shook his head numbly. "I just had no clue you were a savant."
There was a moment of silence, broken by Hammy declaring proudly, "I can burp my ABC's!" He then proceeded to demonstrate this fact as Verne smacked his forehead, feeling a strong desire to withdraw his earlier observation.
"I guess we're both gluttons for punishment." RJ pulled his paw out of Ruby's grip and stopped walking, an unreadable expression on his face. They hadn't been walking for long, but they were far enough away now that they probably held no risk of being disturbed.
"What makes you say that?"
"Because no matter how much and how often we fight, we always wind up together like this."
Ruby turned away, smiling slightly. "Look, I just wanted to apologize."
RJ flashed her a confused look. "For... What?"
"For treating you like scum. For everything. You name it, I apologize for it." Ruby looked at him and he could see the honesty in her sapphire blue eyes. "The truth is... I'm the scum."
"Are you okay? Did you contract some kind of weird freaky virus at some point? Is it contagious?"
"RJ, be serious! I'm pouring my heart out and all you can do is make stupid jokes."
"It's in my nature," RJ shrugged. "Look, I'm trying to be a gentleman here. You see, Ruby, the moment I meet an attractive female, I have to start pretending I have no desire to... You know." He moved his paws, urging her to fill in the blanks which she did with a roll of her eyes. "So to help me pretend, I just make witty jokes at her expense. Some chicks dig it. You apparently don't."
"Really? So this is all your pathetic attempt to be chivalrous?"
"Essentially, yeah."
"Well, let me tell you RJ, that a pathetic excuse for chivalry does not a gentleman make."
RJ narrowed his eyes, obviously they were going back to square one all over again. "Well, let me tell you Ruby, that I hate it when people talk backwards!"
"Why? Your teeny-tiny brain can't process it?"
"Hey, lady, I didn't come out here to be insulted!"
"Oh really? Well, where do you usually go?"
"Did you just invite me out here so you could get your daily dose of verbal abuse in?"
"No!"
"Could've fooled me!"
"A gnat with a lobotomy could fool you!"
There was a long pause as the two of them panted heavily, glaring so viciously it was almost as if they were trying to eviscerate each other with their thoughts. Neither of them really had any clue why they were fighting. They both had individually, and in their own ways, decided that they were in love with each other. However, they were both still weighed down by their own ever-prevalent issues that kept them apart and those issues apparantly manifested themselves in the way they couldn't go five seconds without fighting whenever they got around each other.
"Tell me something," RJ panted, his words coming out as calmly and rationally as he could make them, "how does a girl like you wind up becoming a girl like you?"
"Just lucky, I guess," Ruby said between pants.
RJ shook his head, grabbing his knees (or his closest equivelent, actually) and leaning over. "Yeah, well... I'm not going to deny that I'm extremely attracted to you right now."
"I agree," Ruby replied.
"You agree that I'm attracted to you?" RJ blinked.
Ruby shook her head roughly. "No. I agree that I'm extremely attracted to you as well."
"Oh.." A pause. "Y-you should have made that a little clearer. We don't need any miscommunication this early in our relationship."
"Are you implying that we're in a relationship?"
"I don't really know what I'm implying..."
"Really?"
"Yeah... Look, lady, to tell you the truth, when it comes to romance, I'm about as much of an expert as a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench."
"I have no idea what you just said, Aiden."
"That's okay, I really don't know what I just said either." Another pause. "Did you just call me Aiden?"
Ruby straightened up abruptly. "N-No, I didn't." The damage, however was done. RJ straightened up and narrowed his eyes a little in confusion.
"No, no, I distinctly heard you call me Aiden." He took a step closer to her, and she took a step back.
"I-I didn't. Aiden... RJ... How could I get those names mixed up? Come on. You just heard wrong. Uh... Look, that was the best fight I've ever had. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me, and I'd really like to do it again sometime." She turned to leave as quickly as possible, but RJ grabed her wrist.
"Oh no, now you've got me interested. Who's Aiden?"
Ruby looked down, realizing that she was trapped. "Aiden... Was... He was..."
She didn't know what came over her, but suddenly she practically threw herself into RJ's arms and started sobbing uncontrollaby. She had various reasons for her tears. An overwhelming sense of guilt for betraying Aiden's memory, a fear of falling in love again, and the horrific thought that RJ could, in fact, suffer the same fate as Aiden and die by Xylia's fangs. For some reason, however, it felt good to cry on his shoulder like this, and after the initial shock wore off, she felt his arms enclose around her, pulling her tighter into the embrace. They both knew in that instant that there could be no more wars within their individual selves, tearing them away from what they knew was right. There would be no more fighting and no more denial between them any longer.
In that one moment, their fates were sealed.
Only other individual bore witness to this event and he watched from a safe distance, a scowl on his face for he knew that he had lost one of the few things he truly desired once again to the fell clutch of circumstance.
"Ruby and RJ, huh? Well, I can't honestly say I didn't see that coming."
Verne and Hammy had returned from their walk in the woods, sans RJ who had yet to return with Ruby. Immediatly upon their arrival, Hammy had set off with Sammy and Bianca somewhere, and Verne came to realize that the rest of his family had otherwise occupied themselves with their new friends. So much for family gatherings, he had thought with a trace of a smile. RJ apparently wasn't the only one too preoccupied with the valley residents to make time for the family, not that Verne was in any way bitter. They were still a family, no matter what... They just had new friends to talk to and hang out with, something they'd be deprived of for years. Besides, he was no better than they were, considering he had found himself an excuse to visit Velma as soon as returned to the valley. He and the female turtle were once again engaged in their usual pleasant conversation and the topic had turned to RJ and Ruby, a subject that Verne was a little reluctant to discuss seeing as he wasn't sure how this was going to end. Everything seemed to be moving far too fast, and he told Velma so. The female turtle simply laughed.
"You've never been a kid in love have you?"
Verne struggled to cover up a hint of a blush starting to creep up on his scaly flesh. "...No." It was the truth, all things considering. He wasn't really a kid anymore, after all.
Velma smiled in a complacent, maternal way. "Me neither, but when you've lived as long as I've lived and seen the things I've seen, you start to emphathize with all the romantic foibles of the young. Trust me, Verne, I've been a crying shoulder for about half of those crazy kids out there when they've had their little hearts broken, and afterwards they always say it was worth the pain for all the pleasure that came before the fall. Right now, Ruby needs someone to take her mind off..." She paused and hesitated a little. "... Things. I'm sure your friend RJ needs someone for the same reason."
"You know, I wouldn't know," Verne shrugged with a small smile. "I don't know anything about RJ."
"But you know that he's lonely."
Verne couldn't argue with that. Beyond all of RJ's confident quirks, he couldn't help but sense there was an air of lonely solitude that went beyond anything he would speak aloud. He'd never seen it manifest itself as it had that morning when RJ returned to the valley, looking like someone had just placed the weight of the world upon his small shoulders.
"Does it ever bother you that you don't know much about Ruby?"
Velma shook her head. "Never. Somethings are just stronger than knowledge. Friendship means you don't worry about the past, and instead set your sights on facing the present and future together. If you care about someone, you don't worry about where they came from... You just worry about who they are. I know Ruby is a strong, good-hearted, endearing creature who, at times, lacks a little bit of self-confidence. I know that she worries about what others think of her all the time. I know that she, like RJ, is very lonely, and I know that she's emotionally frail no matter what she tries to make others believe. That's all I feel I need to know."
"But what if she's lying to you? What if that's not the real her at all?"
Velma touched his shell gingerly and looked into his eyes, her face the very definition of serious. "There are things that you just have to trust on faith alone, Verne."
Ruby wasn't the only one who found solace in the Sanctuary. In recent months, Tristan had also started to come here, although for an entirely different kind of solace. An old friend of his had been jailed, as he liked to think of it, here after committing quite a few atrocities on the valley folk until she was eventually brought down by the sheer cleverness of that wretched raccoon Aiden, and captured by the humans. Now she lived her life in solitude behind wire mesh, chained to a metal stake because she was apt to attack her prison violently if she wasn't kept tied up. A pathetic state for one so powerful as she to find herself in.
Tristan moved silently in the dark shadows of the Sanctuary. Night had fallen, but he was still seething about the sight his emerald eyes had witnessed in the forest. Another budding romance for Ruby. Another pathetic life the queen would take... Eventually. He grew weary of the queen, however. Setting Ruby up for the verbal thrashing she had gotten earlier had merely been for his own benefit in hopes it would discourage the little raccoon from pursuing that wretched excuse for a creature she was sporting with, but it obviously hadn't. He could have told the queen about what he had seen, but, as previously stated, he was weary of the queen. He hated her laws and he hated having his talents wasted on food gathering. He wanted, no needed, to break free.
And his little Angel of Death would be the medium to help him do so. She had failed in her attempts to claim the valley as her own before, but she wouldn't this time. She would have him by her side.
He stopped in front of the pen which held the one he sought. He could pick out her shape in the dark shadows, but the only feature he could see prominently even with his acute sight were her glowing eyes.
"Tristan?" She purred, her voice as soft and cold as frozen silk.
"How are you tonight, Amity?" Tristan smirked, drawing closer to her pen. He heard the sound of a chain clinking and saw the dark shape shift positions.
"I've been better."
"Well, I figured that."
"And you Tristan? Are you still living in an amusingly advanced state of denial?"
"Are you still harboring pathetic thoughts of vengeance from behind prison walls?"
Amity's cold, mirthless laugh filled the air. "You're still as cocky as ever. If my tongue were as bladed as yours, I'd fear for my life. There are some who would think nothing of killing you for some of the inscrupulous words that come out of your mouth."
"You're one to talk about scruples, my dear."
"Did you merely come here to shoot the breeze, Tristan, or did you actually have something useful to contribute to my seemingly meaningless existence?"
Tristan drew ever closer to the pen, his emerald eyes flashing. "Things aren't going my way in the valley. The fact is, I think I'm due for a full-scale rebellion, and there ain't no one I'd rather have on my side than Queen Xylia's oldest enemy. So how about it, sugar? I have the means to get you out of Dodge before the sun rises. You and your old buddy Cyril- can't seperate the dream team, now can we? You game?"
The chain moved making a clinking, slithering sound as it dragged on the ground. Amity emerged from her cloak of shadows and stepped into the moonlight, illuminating the body of a lean, attractive, yet physically intimidating female bobcat. Her golden eyes glittered as she met Tristan's gaze, and a dangerous smile crept across her lovely features.
"I'm listening."
