Disclaimer: I made an agreement with God. I would, for one time, admit that I do not own Harry Potter and Blade. Other people do. Now God will give me what I want, but unfortunately not Harry Potter or Blade. Maybe I'm being ripped off.

Author's Note (The one with the important one with beta info): Angelkitty77 I wish you well. She will continue her duties as beta once things settle down. But please pray for her! So thank you Angelkitty77 for all your concerns over what was happening and thank you for all the support you have given me! And thanks bubblegumb1 for doing both beta duties until Angelkitty77 can return. You have done a fabulous job!

Author's Note (the one with the story): has anyone realized that The Order of The Phoenix sometimes changes its tense. I just figured that out. Sorry if I'm slow on that one. Also I'll be following the book quite a bit for 5 and should spread out more later. In another chapter or 2 I will be able to break off more, especially after the advance guard. That is if all goes according to plan. Just reminding you all that this is my first fic, so be nice.

Story Note: if you see a sentence in ' ' without some one's name by it and it just seems to be there it just might be Harry's thoughts. These show up quite a bit in this chapter! If you have any questions just ask me in a review! This is my longest chapter yet! 9 pages! Go me!

Fifespice: Thanks for commenting and reading. I think you will enjoy some of this chapter. Dudley is cowardly and . . . well I can't spoil the surprise. You should enjoy chapter 6 as well.

MidnightsRose Thanks for reviewing. I love to hear what people have to say about my story! I can't wait to find out what you think about this one. Aren't my betas doing a great job:)

'Blablabla' thoughts

Coming towards them was three dark clad figures. They didn't seem to feel the cold or any other indications that the dementors were near. But Harry's brain was already fogging up. He needed to choose whom to attack first, and fast! The three figures were quickly making their way towards them. If he didn't get the spell to work the first time they would be in a whole shit load of trouble.

"Expecto Patronum!" A silvery wisp of vapour shot from the tip of the wand and the dementor slowed, but it hadn't worked properly. He only had time for one more try, if he were quick. Putting all his concentration into in, ignoring all else, he yelled "Expecto Patronum"

Right as the stag sprang from his wand attacking the dementor, Harry was forced down by one of the figures. Another went after Dudley and the third stayed with the first, attacking Harry. The dementor fled from the stag as another figure jumped in to help fight the one who went after Dudley. Harry quickly twisted away from his first enemy and attackedHe delivered a hard gut punch and as the man caved in he spun onto the mans back to deliver a quick roundhouse to the man's partner.As Harry started his attack so did the fourth figure. She quickly kicked her enemy in the head, chest, side, and gut, in one efficient move(1).

Dudley cowered in his fear as Harry pulled an electronic pistol(2) from his waist and punched the second man in the side of the face and quickly kicked the first in a donkey kick(3). He then shot both of them and yelled to the stag, "GET HIM!" The dementor was already lowering its hood. Dudley could do nothing to stop this unseen danger. But just before the dementor's mouth could truly start to suck his soul out the stag came charging towards it, driving it away.

The women then pulled a silver stake from her shirt and staked her enemy. As the last dementor left the two victors looked at each other. All light burst back to life and a warm breeze went through the alley. Trees rustled in neighboring gardens and the mundane rumble of cars in Magnolia Crescent filled the air again. Harry raised his gun ready to kill her as she raised her hands palms open and said, "I'm here to help you."

"You're like them, Vampire."

"No, they have joined Voldemort. I haven't. I have heard about you and thought that if I helped you. You could help me."

"How?" Running was heard yet neither turned towards its far off sound. 'Why am I not killing her yet?'

"I will tell you everything. Meet me at midnight tomorrow at that park you were at earlier."

"If you know that, why should I trust you?" He asked suspiciously as he put the gun down.

"Because you can feel it." She replied as she disappeared into the darkness.

He could not believe what had just happened. Dementors here, in Little Whinging and he had let a vampire go. 'What just happened?' Harry thought with his head spinning. He had trusted a vampire. 'Well how many vamps know about Voldy?' he thought, followed by a horrible feeling that he didn't want to know.

Dudley lay curled up on the ground, whimpering and shaking. Harry bent down to see whether he was in a fit enough state to stand up, but then he realized just how close the sound of the running was. He instinctively raised his wand and spun on his heel to face the newcomer.

Mrs. Figg, their batty old neighbor, came panting into sight. Her grizzled gray hair was escaping from its hairnet, a clanking string shopping bag was swinging from her wrist, and her feet were halfway out of her tartan carpet slippers. Harry made to stow his wand hurriedly our of sight, but –

"Don't put it away, idiot boy!" she shrieked. "What if there are more of them around? Oh, I'm going to kill Mundungus Fletcher!"

"What?" said Harry blankly.

"He left!" said Mrs. Figg, wringing her hands. "Left to see someone about a batch of cauldrons that fell off the back of a broom! I told him I'd flay him alive if he went, and now look! Dementors!"

'Thank Merlin that is all you think was there,' Harry thought relieved.

" It's just lucky I put Mr. Tibbles on the case!"

'So she is insane.'

"But we haven't got time to stand around! Hurry, now, we've got to get you back! Oh, the trouble this is going to cause! I will kill him!"

"But –"

The revelation that his batty old cat-obsessed neighbor knew what dementors were was almost as big a shock to Harry as meeting two of soul suckers, three vampires, and a vamp he intended to meet tomorrow. So he was a little slow on the uptake. "You're – you're a witch?"

"I'm a Squib, as Mundungus knows full well, so how on earth was I supposed to help you fight off dementors? He left you completely without cover when I warned him -" she said unable to complete her sentence.

"This bloke Mundungus has been following me? Hang on – it was him who disapperated at my house!" 'Got me into trouble. At least I know why I didn't have a tail earlier.'

"Yes, yes, yes, but luckily I'd stationed Mr. Tibbles under a car just in case, and Mr. Tibbles came and warned me, but by the time I got to your house you'd gone – and now – oh, what's Dumbledore going to say? You!" she shrieked at Dudley, still supine on the alley floor. "Get your fat bottom off the ground, quick!"

'She's crazy and mean. What a great combination. I don't care what she is. Or who she knows. She is crazy and mean, even if it is to Dud, at least for Ms. Figgs. At least she didn't see the vamps. Though I probably could have gotten anyone she told to believe that it's just part of her craziness. Wait –'

"You know Dumbledore?" Harry almost yelled, staring at her.

"Of course I know Dumbledore, who doesn't know Dumbledore? But come on – I'll be no help if they come back, I've never so much as transfigured a teabag -"

She stooped down, seized one of Dudley's massive arms in her wizened hands, and tugged.

"Get up, you useless lump, get up!"

But Dudley either could not or would not move. 'Though this is a pretty funny sight.' He was still on the ground, trembling and ashen-faced, his mouth shut very tight.

'I should help.' "I'll do it." Harry took hold of Dudley's arm and heaved: with minimal effort, even though, he put on a good show of it taking enormous effort, he managed to hoist Dudley to his fat feet. Dudley seemed to be on the point of fainting: his small eyes were rolling in their sockets and sweat was beading his face; the moment Harry let go of him he swayed dangerously.

"Hurry up!" said Mrs. Figg hysterically.

'For a mean, crazy old woman ,she sure seems to frighten easily. No dementors around nor any other nightly creature and she is acting like the world will end if we don't move soon!'

Harry pulled one of Dudley's massive arms around his own shoulders and dragged him toward the road, sagging slightly under his weight for effect. 'Don't want my secret out!' Mrs. Figg tottered along in front of them, peering anxiously around the corner.

"Keep your wand out," she told him, as they entered Wisteria Walk. "Never mind the Statute of Secrecy now, there's gong to be hell to pay anyway, we might as well be hanged for a dragon egg. Talk about the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery . . . This was exactly what Dumbledore was afraid of – what's that at the end of the street? Oh, it's just Mr. Prentice . . . . Don't put your wand away, boy, don't I keep telling you I'm no use?"

'Yep, she's crazy alright. And not too bright. We need to get away without anyone truly noticing and she's talking away. I'm sure if the dementors wanted to find us they could. Simply cause she can't shut up for a minute.'

It was not easy to hold a wand steady and carry Dudley along, looking as though it was taking 5 times the amount of effort that it was, at the same time. Harry gave his cousin an impatient dig in the ribs, but Dudley seemed to have lost all desire for independent movement. He was slumped on Harry's shoulder, his large feet dragging along the ground.

"Why didn't you tell me you're a Squib?" Harry asked Mrs. Figg, panting with the fake effort to keep walking. "All those times I came around your house – why didn't you say anything?"

"You'd only started coming around recently and there was Dumbledore's orders. I was to keep and eye on you but not say anything. When he said that you were too young. I'm sorry I gave you such a miserable time, but the Dursleys would never have let you come if they'd thought you enjoyed it."

'What has she told Dumbledore? Well, it can't be much or he would have done something. Especially if he realized how long I didn't live with the Dursleys for.' Harry rationalized with relief.

"It wasn't easy, you know . . . .," she continued, "But oh my word," she said tragically, wringing her hands once more, "When Dumbledore hears about this – how could Mundungus have left, he was supposed to be on duty until midnight – where is he? How am I going to tell Dumbledore what's happened, I can't Apparate –"

"I've got an owl, you can borrow her," Harry groaned, wondering how much longer it was going to be and how much Dudley weighed, as real pain started.

"Harry you don't understand! Dumbledore will need to act as quickly as possible, the Ministry has their own ways of detecting underage magic, they'll know already, you mark my words -"

"But I was getting rid of dementors, I had to use magic – they're going to be more worried what dementors were doing floating around Wisteria Walk, surely?"

"Oh my dear, I wish it were so but I'm afraid – MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

There was a loud crack and a strong smell of mingled drink and stale tobacco filled the air as a squat, unshaven man in a tattered overcoat materialized right in front of them. He had short bandy legs, long stragley ginger hair, and bloodshot baggy eyes that gave him the doleful look of a basset hound; he was also clutching a silvery bundle that Harry recognized at once as an Invisibility Cloak.

"S'up, Figgy?" he said, staring from Mrs. Figg to Harry and Dudley. "What 'appened to staying undercover?"

"I'll give you undercover!" cried Mrs. Figg. "Dementors, you useless, skiving sneak thief!"

'Well she seems to have lost her fear of them returning. Merlin, Dudley weighs a lot!'

"Dementors?" repeated Mundungus, aghast. "Dementors? Here?"

'Should I be amused by this?'

"Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!" shrieked Mrs. Figg.

'Who cares? The insults are so bad somebody has to enjoy them. Why not me?'

"Dementors attacking the boy on your watch!"

"Blimey," said Mundungus weakly, looking from Mrs. Figg to Harry and back again. "Blimey, I . . ."

"And you! Off buying stolen cauldrons! Didn't I tell you not to go? Didn't I?"

"I – well, I –" Mundungus looked deeply uncomfortable. "It . . . it was very good business opportunity, see . . ."

'Wrong Answer.' Mrs. Figg raised the arm from which her bag dangled and whacked Mundungus around the face and neck with it; judging by the clanking noise it made it was full of cat food.

"Ouch – gerroff – gerroff, you mad old bat! Someone's gotta tell Dumbledore!"

"Yes – they – have!" yelled Mrs. Figg, still swinging the bag of cat food at every bit of Mundungus she could reach. "And – it – had – better – be – you – and – you – can – tell – him – why – you – weren't – there – to – help!"

'Things just keep getting better! I wonder when the three stooges will show up. Maybe then I can lose Dudley and find sane people again!'

"Keep your 'airnet on!" said Mundungus, his arms over his head, cowering. "I'm going, I'm going!" And with another loud crack, he vanished.

"I hope Dumbledore murders him!" said Mrs. Figg furiously. "Now come on, Harry, what are you waiting for?"

Harry decided not to waste his remaining breath on pointing out that he could "barely" walk under Dudley's bulk or any other response. He gave the semiconscious Dudley a heave and staggered onward.

"I'll take you to the door," said Mrs. Figg, as they turned into Privet Drive. "Just in case there are more of them around . . . ."

'How can she help me? Might as well just let her feel useful.'

"Oh my word, what a catastrophe . . . and you had to fight them off yourself . . . and Dumbledore said we were to keep you from doing magic at all costs . . . .well, it's no good crying over spilled potion, I suppose . . . but the cat's among the pixies now . . ."

"So," Harry panted, "Dumbledore's . . . been having . . . me followed?" 'Knew it! Who else could have me followed so often!'

"Of course he has," said Mrs. Figg impatiently. "Did you expect him to let you wander around on you own after what happened in June? Good Lord, boy, they told me you were intelligent . . . . Right . . . . Get inside and stay there," she said as they reached number four. "I expect someone will be in touch with you soon enough."

"What are you going to do?" asked Harry quickly.

"I'm going straight home," said Mrs. Figg, staring around the dark street and shuddering.

'Real help you are Mrs. Figg. No you come when the Dementors and vamps are gone. Then you run home when I REALY need help! This is not going to go over well with the Dursleys!' Harry thought bitterly still a little pissed off from his encounter with the vampire.

"I'll need to wait for more instructions. Just stay in the house. Good night."

'Great! I need help and she has excuses! Maybe I can drop Dudley on the doorstep and head off to the hideout. . . . Nah, too much irony.'

"Hang on, don't go yet! I want to know –"

But Mrs. Figg had already set off at a trot, carpet slippers flopping, string bag clanking.

"Wait!" Harry shouted after her; he had a million questions to ask anyone who was in contact with Dumbledore; but within seconds Mrs. Figg was swallowed by darkness. 'I could have had her if Dudley weren't here. Stupid bludger.' Scowling, Harry readjusted Dudley on his shoulder and made his slow, painful way up number four's garden path.

The hall light was on. Harry stuck his wand back inside the waistband of his jeans, rang the bell, and watched Aunt Petunia's outline grow larger and larger, oddly distorted by the rippling glass in the front door.

"Diddy! About time too, I was getting quite – quite – Diddy, what's the matter?"

Harry looked sideways at Dudley and ducked out from under his arm just in time. Dudley swayed for a moment on the spot, his face pale green, then he opened his mouth at last and vomited all over the doormat.

"DIDDY! Diddy, what's the matter with you? Vernon? VERNON!"

Harry's uncle came galumphing out of the living room, walrus mustache blowing hither and thither as it always did when he was agitated. He hurried forward to help Aunt Petunia negotiate a weak-kneed Dudley over the threshold while avoiding stepping in the pool of vomit.

"He's ill, Vernon!"

"What is it, son? What's happened? Did Mrs. Polkiss give you something foreign for tea?"

"Why are you all covered in dirt, darling? Have you been lying on the ground?"

"Hang on – you haven't been mugged, have you, son?"

Aunt Petunia screamed.

'I'm getting a really bad feeling about this.'

"Phone the police, Vernon! Phone the police! Diddy, darling, speak to Mummy! What did they do to you?"

In all the kerfuffle, nobody seemed to have noticed Harry, which suited him perfectly. Even though he still had a bad feeling. He managed to slip inside just before Uncle Vernon slammed the door and while the Dursleys made their noisy progress down the hall toward the kitten, Harry moved quietly and carefully toward the stairs.

"Who did it, son? Give us names. We'll get them, don't worry."

"Shh! He's trying to say something, Vernon! What is it, Diddy? Tell Mummy!

Harry's foot was on the bottommost stair when Dudley found his voice.

"Him."

Harry froze, foot on the stair, face screwed up, braced for the explosion. 'I just had to think it. Bad things always happen when you think it.'

"BOY! COME HERE!"

'Oh, shit!'

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

1) If you watch people fighting or our in a class, there are times when you see a person doing 3 kicks combined (both feet don't touch the ground). This is actual considered 1 kick or move. That is what is happening here. I should know I was in tie-quan-doe until I got my 3rd to last belt. (I hope to come back to it soon).

2) This is actually a weapon used in Blade. The designers made it not me! It is on the extras CD under weapons!

3) A donkey kick is where you throw your leg back (like a donkey) and kick the person. It can be efficient if you have strength in the right muscles.