Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter stories belongs to J. K. Rowling. She can have my characters and ideas as well.

CHAPTER 18

Nina opened her eyes groggily and looked around her. She couldn't recognize the room she was lying in. There were empty beds with white sheets around the room and it smelled like bitter potions. Where am I? She tried to get up slowly when her stomach started to hurt and she fell back down. Ow. What the hell? Then she remembered what happened. Sirius. I'm going to kill him.

"Oh, are you awake, dear?" came Madam Pomfrey's voice as she walked into the room. "Here now, let me help you sit up. Does it still hurt?" Nina nodded her head.

"How long have I been here?" she asked the healer.

"You've only been out for a few hours, so don't worry. Your friends dropped you off. They said you accidentally got hit by a curse." Right. Accidentally.

"How long do I have to stay here?" Nina asked her.

"You need to finish taking these potions during the night. You can probably leave early in the morning, but you're going to feel very tired for the next few days. It's a side effect of the sedative for the pain." Madam Pomfrey explained to Nina.

"Oh. Okay." She felt numb after taking her medication. At dawn she was allowed to leave so she walked back to the dorm, slowly. It was too early for anyone to be awake. She saw her bed and plopped right into it and fell asleep. Nina suddenly found herself in her bedroom at home. There was a strange light coming from outside her door. She got up and reached for the doorknob. She opened the door slowly and saw someone standing outside in the hallway with his back towards her. She recognized the familiar tall figure and black hair. He turned around to face her and it wasn't who she thought it was—it was Sean. His hair was suddenly brown again and he looked uncharacteristically harsh. What's wrong? She thought to herself. He took out a wand from behind his back and stared at it. He started to laugh out loud and he suddenly flung a hex at Nina and it hit her in the same spot as Sirius's had. She felt the familiar eruption of pain go through her, and she gasped for breath as she almost fell out of her bed.

"Nina!" Lily ran towards her friend. "I'm sorry! There was a draft and it slammed the door shut. Did you get scared?"

"No…" Nina said holding her stomach. "I just had a bad dream."

"How are you feeling?" Lily asked her.

"I dunno." Nina answered her pulling the covers over her. "A little numb. And tired. I have to keep taking these sedatives. What time is it?"

"Eight." Lily answered.

"In the evening? I slept the whole day?" Nina exclaimed and she felt another jolt in her stomach.

"Don't worry about it." Lily said soothingly. "You get your rest. We got all your notes and assignments for you." Nina took another sedative and was soon back into a deep sleep.


The next morning, Nina got ready to go to her classes. She still felt very weak, but figured she didn't want to miss out on any more school. When they were ready, Nina started to walk slowly down the stairs to the common room with Sara and Lily. She took a few steps and looked down, and caught a glimpse of James and Remus sitting down. She took a few more steps and saw Sirius, sitting next to them, with his head down in his hands. Remus looked up and saw the girls coming and he immediately muttered something to Sirius, who shot his head up quickly, looking in their direction. Nina froze for a second and then turned her head away, her heart was hammering in her chest and she could feel blood start to get warmer. I can't face him right now…I might accidentally kill him. Her stomach knotted up and the pressure started to make it hurt again.

"Hey." Nina called to her friends, "You guys go on ahead. I don't know if I'm really feeling up to going to class today." Sara and Lily gave Nina an inquisitive look and then looked down towards where the boys were sitting, and then back up at Nina.

"Nina…are you sure you don't…feel well?" Lily asked her a little apprehensively.

"Yeah." Nina answered. "My stomach hurts. I'm gonna go lie down for a bit. If I feel better I'll come later."

"Okay, then." Sara shrugged. "Hope you feel better."

"Thanks." Nina said as she turned around and went back up to her dorm. When Sara and Lily reached where the boys were sitting they asked why Nina didn't come down with them.

"She said she wasn't feeling too well and decided to go back to sleep." Lily answered.

"Oh please." Sirius said getting up from his seat. "I know she didn't come down because of me."

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Sirius." Sara reproached him. "You did hurt her pretty badly you know. She needs her rest." Sirius grumbled something unintelligible and started to walk out of the common room, looking very dejected.

Sara and Lily didn't see Nina until they went back up to the dorms after dinner that evening. Nina was just coming out of the washroom when they entered the room.

"Hey, Nina." Sara said. "How are you feeling?"

Nina shrugged, "A little better I guess. Still feeling a bit drowsy." She climbed back into her bed.

"Did you eat anything at all today?" Lily asked her, "Do you want us to bring you something to eat?"

"Not hungry." Nina said in a quiet voice.

"You should eat something." Sara said firmly. "You look as pale as a ghost."

Nina shook her head. "Maybe later."

"So…" Lily started to say. "Everyone was asking about you today."

"Oh really?" Nina asked.

"Yeah. Lots of people from class did. Oh and of course James and Remus were asking how you were doing…and Sirius." she added in quieter tone. Nina's soft expression suddenly turned cold.

"You know, Nina." Sara said noticing the change in her face. "Sirius feels really awful about what happened." Nina glared at her and Sara quickly added, "Of course, he's still an ass though."

"Yes. He is." Nina agreed with her.

"So…have you heard from Sean lately?" Lily wanted to change the subject.

"Not since last week." Nina replied.

"You didn't tell him what happened, did you?" Sara asked her.

"No, of course not." Nina replied. "How do I tell him about it?"

Lily looked a little uncomfortable, like she was trying to get up the courage to say something, "You know, Nina. I was thinking…don't you think it's…wrong…to hide something like this from Sean?"

"Why?" Nina was confused. "What's going to happen if I don't tell him that Sirius attacked me?"

"Not that, stupid." Sara interjected. "The fact that you're a bloody witch."

"Oh." Nina said dumbly.

"I mean, you can't hide it forever. What if someday, somehow he finds out?" Lily said rationally.

"Or if you have a kid that's a wizard one day. How are you going to explain that?" Sara added.

Nina started to feel tense again. She had always thought of these things in her mind and disregarded them, but somehow hearing it from someone else made it sound much more important. "I dunno guys." she said sounding a little upset. "I can't think about this right now. Don't stress me out." She pulled her blanket up to her chin.

"We're not trying to stress you out, Nina." Lily said calmly. "I just think that trust in a relationship is vital. And I don't want to see you get hurt over this." Too late, Nina thought as she closed her eyes and tried not to think about the dull pain resonating in her abdomen.


Nina finally decided to go down to breakfast the next morning. It was a Saturday so she didn't have to worry about going to her classes. She was feeling a little less angry with Sirius, and a little more worried about Sean. When the girls entered the Great Hall, she saw the boys all sitting together at the end of the table. Sirius was on the end, his head leaning on his left hand, the other hand holding a fork, poking his food. He looked really glum, and Nina felt a very tiny tinge of sympathy—but not enough to forgive him yet.

"Hey, Nina!" James said cheerfully when he saw her coming to the table. "It's good to finally see you! How are you feeling?" Sirius quickly dropped his fork and looked up at her. She looked very pale and…thin. Holy shit! Sirius exclaimed to himself. What did I do to her? She looks so frail. I'm such an ass. He looked back down miserably and started to poke his food again.

Nina kept her eyes focussed on James and said with a sigh, "Tired."

"Yeah, you look really weak." Remus added with concern.

"I know! She's a bag of bones!" Sara exclaimed while piling some food on Nina's plate. "Eat all of this."

Nina stole a quick glance at Sirius. He was still looking down at his plate. He poked at his food a few more times and then just got up and left without saying anything. Nina tried to eat but she wasn't hungry; her mind was too preoccupied to feel like eating. She forced down a slice of toast and then headed to the library to try to catch up on the work she had missed.

While trying to study in the library, Nina's mind kept wandering off. Her thoughts kept drifting between Sean and Sirius. How do I tell Sean about me being a witch? What if he freaks out and calls off the engagement? My parents will kick me out of the house! But…he's a nice guy. He seems to be an understanding person. If he really likes me that much, he won't care, will he? Man, why couldn't he just be a wizard, too? It would make life so much easier. Or why couldn't he just be Sirius? No…I didn't just think that. I don't like Sirius anymore. In fact, I hate him! This is his fault anyways. Why did he have to be so…so…likeable? I got so depressed during the break that I just didn't care anymore. I figured being with Sean would make me get over Sirius. A lot of good it did me. Now I'm not even friends with Sirius. The stupid jerk! I can't believe he attacked me! I don't care if he feels guilty now. He should! For a long time! I hope he—Nina's thoughts were interrupted by someone clearing their throat, trying to get her attention. She raised her head and saw Sirius, standing right in front of her.

Nina gave him a fierce look and he cleared this throat again. "Er…do you think maybe…I could talk…to you for a second?" He sounded really tense. Nina looked back down at her work and shook her head no; she still refused to say a word to him.

"It won't take long." he said, still sounding nervous. Nina didn't look up. Her hand automatically closed up into a fist and she started to crack her knuckles fiercely. Sirius sighed, "Look I just wanted to—" Nina suddenly ripped off a piece of parchment and started to crumple it loudly into a ball. "Fine." he said sullenly. "I can see that you're busy. I'll catch you later." He turned around and started to walk away. Nina had to fight the urge to throw the paper ball at him.


That whole week, Sirius attempted to talk to Nina on several occasions, and she ignored him each time. He started to get really frustrated. He knew that he deserved her anger, but he just wished she would yell at him or even hit him—anything but the silent treatment again. It drove him crazy. He got particularly upset one evening in the common room.

Nina was alone reading a book by the fireplace and he walked up to her. She ignored his presence as usual, and he grabbed her book. He thought maybe she'd say something to her or at least try to take the book back, but she just looked straight into the fire and crossed her arms, like she was bored. Sirius could take it anymore.

He threw the book on the floor and started ranting at her, "What the hell is wrong with you? How many times am I going to have to try to apologize to you? I'm sorry okay! I didn't mean to do it! I didn't want to hurt you intentionally! You know that I didn't. You're just being difficult with me for spite. I can't stand this anymore! I hate you! You stupid…stupid cow!"

Nina still didn't flinch after he finished his tirade, and he stormed out of the common room. Nina let out a breath and got up to pick up her book from the floor. She bent down to get it and ended up sitting on the ground. She felt really upset now. He called me a stupid cow! I can't take much more of this. Okay, I think I've ignored the guy enough now. He's starting to hate me. No wait, he said he did. Great. I don't want him to hate me. I think I'll talk to him tonight when I see him. It takes too much energy to ignore him. It's starting to get on my nerves now.

A couple of hours later, Nina was walking down the corridor near the Great Hall. The hall was empty but she thought she could hear the sound of someone laughing. The more she walked forward, the louder the laugh got. She turned a corner and saw Sirius leaning against the wall.

She started for a second and was about to turn around in the other direction when he called out, "Oi! Just the person I wanted to see." He walked towards her and draped his arm around her shoulders.

"How's it goin', Nina?" His voice was a little slurred, and Nina could smell firewhiskey coming off of him.

"Sirius…" Nina said pulling his arm off of her.

"Yes, that's me." he said smiling.

"Are you drunk?" she asked with a little disgust.

"What?" Sirius asked exasperatedly. "Drunk? Of course not! Don't be stupid. You're always saying stupid things. You don't know anything, Nina." He looked like he was about to fall and Nina caught his arm.

"Er…yeah I know." she said uncertainly. "Why don't you come and sit down somewhere. You're not walking very straight."

"Oh!" he said as she took his arm and started to lead him away. "You know, you're really nice."

"Oh, thanks." Nina said walking with him.

"Yeah." he drawled on. "You're not like Nina."

"What?" Nina stopped walking. "I'm not?" What the hell is he talking about?

"Nope." he shook his head. "She hates me." Why is he suddenly talking about me like I'm not here? Doesn't he know it's me? My God, he must be really drunk!

"Uh—no," Nina said, really unsure of what to say, but playing along anyway. "I'm sure...she...doesn't hate you, Sirius."

"No, she does. I know it. And she should. I hurt her really badly. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't realize she was such a weakling. And now she's even weaker because of me. You should see her. When I saw her for the first time after I hexed her…" he shook his head guiltily, "I felt awful. I couldn't even look at her. I had to leave."

"I'm sure she's feeling better now though." Nina said reassuringly and starting to walk again.

"She looks a little better now." Sirius said and then sighed. "She's still the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life."

"What?" Nina said, stopping again and looking at him in surprise. "She is?"

"Yeah." Sirius said as if it was obvious. "Oh, you should've seen her at the dance last term. I was just…whoa."

"I see." Nina said, that uneasy feeling creeping into her stomach again.

"Yeah." Sirius said in a daze. "But…hey…listen, don't tell her I said that. She's engaged now. I shouldn't say that kinda stuff about her."

"Okay…" Nina said hesitatingly, feeling very awkward. "I won't."

"I dunno why she had to go and get engaged." he shook his head ruefully. "She just ruined…everything. She doesn't even wanna be my friend anymore. What's with her fiancé anyways? Why does she like him? I heard that he doesn't even know she's a witch! What is she doing with him? That bastard! I swear if he ever hurts her, I'll just…" he said making stabbing motions with his wand.

"Okay, Sirius." Nina said taking the wand away from him gently. "I think maybe we should head to the common room. You should go to sleep."

"Yeah, you're right." Sirius said sadly. "You know, you're very smart. You're not dumb, like Nina. Okay, she's not actually dumb. I just say that to bug her. I love…bugging her. I wish she'd talk to me again so I could bug her. I miss it. She won't talk to me though. Especially now. I said some rude things to her that I didn't mean."

"I'm sure she'll talk to you soon. Don't worry." she said encouragingly.

"I hope so." he said quietly and then he looked at Nina with a dazed expression again. "You know, you're really beautiful. You kinda look like...Nina."

"Oh, wow. What a...coincidence." Nina said taking his hand and leading him towards the common room. Nina was relieved to see James and Remus standing near the portrait hole.

"Hey!" she called them and they turned to look at her and Sirius. They both looked at Sirius with concern.

"Yeah, he's totally drunk." Nina told them, handing Sirius over to them. "I just found him wandering around in the halls."

"I am not—hiccup!—drunk!" Sirius slurred indignantly.

"Of course not, Padfoot." James patted him on the back and Remus started to take him inside.

"Listen," Nina started to tell them, "don't tell Sirius I found him or anything."

"Oh…okay…but why?" James asked her curiously.

"Well…he was just talking a lot and saying some…weird stuff…I just don't want him to feel awkward in the morning or anything." Nina said.

"Okay." James said as they walked through the portrait hole. "Sure."

Nina went straight up to her dorm. Her mind was just racing with what everything Sirius had just told her. She was really confused. I just don't know what to think anymore. What was he saying? Okay, he thinks I hate him and he's upset about that. Oh yeah and he said I was beautiful. But that doesn't really mean anything—I'm sure he thinks lots of people are. He said me getting engaged ruined everything. What was that supposed to mean? Ruined what? Our friendship? Yeah…that's probably it. He still sounds really protective over me…he threatened Sean! Anyways, he was piss drunk. I shouldn't really take anything he said to heart. Although now I'm really starting to feel uneasy about keeping this big secret from Sean about myself. I think…I'm going to write him. I'll just tell him everything. If he really cares about me, he'll be okay with it. And if not, then…I'll just have to deal with my parents, I guess. I can't live under them forever. Maybe it's a good thing. I'll be independent for once. Nina felt a tiny rush of adrenaline mixed with nervousness as she took out her parchment and quill and started a letter to Sean. When she was done she slipped the letter in an envelope and addressed it. She put it on her bedside table and went into her bed. She thought it would be best to sleep over it and send it in the morning—just in case she changed her mind.


A/N: So...it's almost done, guys! Hope this chapter was a good one...let me know what you think! Thanks for all the reviews from the last chapter! I might post either tomorrow or the day after...depending on how many reviews I get. heh heh heh...