He leaned back against a fallen log in the clearing they stopped in for the night, watching the fire burn. He felt better, more relaxed, and ready to face whatever waited for him back home. He wondered vaguely what Deakins had done as far as finding new partners for them, if anything. The thought of seeing her with another partner still formed a rock in his gut. He'd almost rather see her with another guy, though that didn't make him feel any better. He still didn't know what to do...but Emily was right. He had to talk to her, find out for sure why she'd left him.
She came over and dropped down onto the ground beside him. He looked at her and smiled, slipping his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him and let her mind wander as she watched the flames and enjoyed being close to him. She felt like a kid at summer camp, ready to say good-bye to a summer love. She envied his partner, the woman who had his heart, and truly wished he had come here a free man. She tried to help him, to remain detached, but that hadn't worked well at all. With that very first kiss, she had fallen for him. It was a given that he couldn't fall in love with her, and she accepted that. It was why she would only let him go so far. He was in pain, seeking to somehow forget, and he was willing to go much further than she would let him. Much as she tried not to, she loved being close to him, being touched and kissed by him. But in the back of her mind, she knew it would go nowhere as long as his partner had his heart. In the end, all it would do was cause them both unnecessary pain. So she'd forced him to keep his pants on, as willing as he was not to.
Now she sighed, taking his hand and threading her fingers into his. "Bobby, I really need to be getting back to Austin. And you need to go home and work this out with Alex." She pulled a card from her pocket and handed it to him. "My address and number are on the back. Really, if it doesn't work out...come and see me. I'd be happy to...to love you." I already do...
He looked at the neat writing on the back of the card. Just the way he expected her writing to be...He got up and went to his pack. Pulling out his wallet, he slipped her card into it and pulled out one of his own. Writing on it, he slid the wallet and pen back in their places and returned to her side. He handed her the card. "My address, phone and cell numbers. Call me anytime." He dipped his head forward to catch her eyes. "Really. Stay in touch. You...helped me, more than I ever could have helped myself."
She smiled and sighed sadly. "I'm glad. I hope it does work out for you, you know. I realize now I'm just not destined to be in love any more."
"Don't talk like that."
"Really. It's been almost twenty years. And then I come up here, and finally find a decent guy I can love, but his heart belongs to someone else..." She shook her head. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall..."
He shook his head, touching her lips. "Don't do that. You'll find someone, someone you're meant to be with. You just need to look in the right places."
She laughed. "And the middle of the wilderness is the right place?"
He smiled. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I lost the love of my life, Bobby. He died and I'll never have him back. You still have a chance with yours. Don't let her get away." He studied her eyes, and she smiled. "I'm glad I helped you, more than you'll ever know. I hated seeing that pain in your eyes. And you have to know you helped me, too. You taught this old dog that maybe there is another shot for me out there. Maybe. I won't get my hopes up, but I'll look."
"Old dog?" He shook his head. "You're beautiful, counsellor."
"Don't tease, detective..."
He let his fingers trail along her jawline, then slide into her hair. This wasn't fair...but, God...he needed...something... His lips brushed hers, and then he kissed her as his hand slid under her shirt, brushing across soft skin. When she let an involuntary moan escape, it was almost too much for him. But she had drawn her line in the sand, and she wouldn't let him cross it, for both their sakes. So he skittered as close to it as she would let him, and it had to do...
She spent one more night in his arms, and when he woke, she was gone. He decided to stay just a few more days, to regroup and regain his bearings, before he headed back for his car and home.
-----------------------------------
"So what do we do if we've missed him? It's a damn big wilderness, Eames. I mean, we come out all this way so I can play pack mule, and suppose he's on his way back to New York?"
"Then you get to enjoy a few days of camping with me."
"I enjoy being with you, but camping?"
"Quit complaining and accept your part in this whole thing."
"Start expecting drunken three am phone calls."
"I'll kill you."
He laughed and adjusted the pack on his back. "Do me a favor?"
"What's that?"
"Before you tear him apart, let me have a shot at him."
"I'm not going to shoot him, Mike."
"I don't want to shoot him either. Just a smack upside the head, that's all."
She laughed. "We'll see."
"Hey, I'm in the woods playing pack mule and I don't even like camping."
"You're doing this for me, Mike, and I'm doing it for him."
"Yeah, well, I wouldn't do this for anyone else...except maybe Barek."
Eames smiled. She could see that...sending him and Barek out into the woods alone. Barek would be the only one to come back out alive. She would think he'd welcome the bears...
Darkness had long descended on the wilderness when they spotted a small clearing, but someone else had gotten there first. They saw the flames of a small campfire through the trees.
"That figures," Logan fussed quietly, so as not to disturb the other hiker.
"Hold on, Mike..." She moved closer, looking through the leaves into the clearing. "Look."
Logan looked over her shoulder. "See? I told you he was fine. At least it wasn't a wasted trip."
"Would you give us a few minutes?"
"Sure, take your time. I'll just sit here, trying not to be bear bait."
She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Mike."
He set the pack down on the ground and sat on it.
Goren was laying on the ground, arms tucked under his head, watching the stars through the trees. Every once in awhile, a meteor would shoot across the sky in its death throes. It was nice to see the night sky lit up with the sparkle of starlight. He never saw that back home. Star light, star bright...
Where the hell had that come from? He'd given up that poem when he was about five, just before his mother's illness had shattered his world.
He heard the rustling in the underbrush. Hmmm...certainly bigger than a raccoon or a skunk...not quite the size of a deer...maybe a small deer...Then he heard a soft sigh, and his mind froze. He knew that sound.
"What the hell are you doing, you big idiot?"
"Eames..." He pushed himself up onto an elbow and looked at her. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for my dumbass partner, that's what."
She crossed the clearing and squatted beside him on the opposite side of the fire. The firelight shaded her face, reflecting off her blonde hair here and there. She looked... beautiful. It was all he could do not to reach up and touch her cheek. And it hit him hard, how much he had really missed her. He had to look away, or she would see it, in his eyes, how much in love with her he was, how deeply hurt he felt. But he couldn't let her see that. Ever.
"What the hell are you doing out here, in the middle of nowhere, all alone? What are you running away from?"
He was running away from...her. From the pain of losing her and dealing with that loss. But now...now he was ready to face it. "How did you find me?"
"Good detective work. We found your car, then pulled your credit card activity. It wasn't too hard to see where you'd gone."
"You pulled my card?"
"Of course we did." She watched him. "Bobby, why didn't you talk to me?" He dropped back onto his back and turned his eyes back to the stars. "Don't you dare shut down on me, dammit."
"Maybe I just wasn't in the mood..."
"Well, I am in the mood to kick your stupid ass all the way back to New York. Or would you rather I just leave you out here to be eaten by bears?"
Again he didn't answer and he didn't look at her. But she could see a glimmer in his eye, a small sliver of the pain he felt. Softly, she said, "How the hell could you ever think I wanted another partner?"
His eyes did shift toward her. "Eames..."
"Shut up. I talked to Mike and after what you told him...Bobby...that was a hard case for both of us. It took a lot out of us. It was the job I needed a break from, you idiot, not you. I was disappointed that you didn't come over while I was off, but I figured you needed the time as well. Then I go back to work and you're gone...what the hell, Goren? You always come and talk to me when your world starts to crumble. Why not this time?"
"Because this time you were the reason it was crumbling. You said you needed a break. You told me not to..."
"And you couldn't see how utterly exhausted I was?"
"After the look that was in your eyes the night before, Eames..."
"Exhaustion, stupid. And...I wasn't willing to take that step under those circumstances. I was afraid that would have sent you over the edge with guilt. Apparently, I read you wrong. Then after what you told Mike..."
"What did I tell Mike?"
"That you'd driven me away. Stupid, stupid idiot. I've been watching you poke and sniff corpses for five years. If you haven't done anything to chase me away yet, you are not going to. I am not going to be the one who walks away, Bobby. If anyone is going to leave us, it's going to be you."
"You mean...you weren't talking about us?"
"No, I wasn't. Not at all. God, Bobby...when you get something wrong...it's just like when you get something right. You latch on and don't let go. Your intensity swings both ways." She sighed. "Mike told me one other thing that got me thinking."
"What'd I stick my foot in now?"
"You told him you were in love with me."
"What? And he told you that? Wait til I see him..."
"You want me to get him?"
"He's here?"
"Did you think I would come up here into the wilderness alone, like you did? I, for one, am not an idiot, Goren."
"You got him out here?"
"It's not like I gave him a choice. He should have called me that night so I could have talked to you then. It's partly his fault you're here. He just didn't believe you because you were drunk."
He shook his head. "He shouldn't have told you that, Eames. That wasn't his place."
"It's not like you were ever going to tell me, right?"
"Right. But still..."
"Bobby?"
He looked at her. "What?"
"Just shut up." She leaned down and pressed her lips against his, burying her hands in his hair and gently sliding her tongue past his lips. He groaned deeply, slipping his arms around her and pulling her against him.
She pulled away when she heard a crash in the brush and Logan came into the clearing, carrying the pack and looking over his shoulder. "Ok, guys, get a fucking room. There's something out there and I did not come two thousand miles to get eaten by a deer."
Goren smiled. "Uh, deer don't eat meat, Mike."
Logan pointed at him. "I am going to kill you, Goren. You ever do anything like this again, and Eames or no Eames, I swear I'll shoot your stupid ass."
"It's good to see you, too, Mike."
Logan dropped the pack and paced around the campsite. Eames tried hard not to laugh. "I guess it's safe to say Mike's not a mountain man."
Goren started laughing, and Eames couldn't help but join in. Logan stared at them. "Ha, ha...I'm glad you two think it's so funny. But there was something out there."
"Think Bambi, Logan."
"The only Bambi I want to think about is a five-foot-nine blonde with breasts out to..."
"We get the picture," Eames interrupted.
"Try to settle down," Goren said quietly. "I've been out here for two weeks and I have yet to see a bear."
"So you're about due, aren't you?"
"You keep making all that noise and you'll attract every bear and mountain lion in a two mile radius looking for distressed prey."
"I would love to distress you, Goren."
"Have at it, man."
"Ok, you two. Enough. Getting medical help out here is a little more complicated than dialing 911."
Goren settled back down and returned his attention to the stars, glancing every few minutes toward Eames, as though he wasn't completely convinced she was really there. But once Logan settled down in his sleeping bag, she came over to him. She gently rubbed his chest and shook her head. "I can't believe you did this."
"I had the time off coming."
"Yeah, ok. I could think of better ways to spend it, though."
"I like camping, and I prefer camping alone."
"Suppose I wanted to come along?"
He smiled. "I'd take you anywhere, Eames. And I'd follow you to hell and back."
She nodded. "I know."
She settled herself in his arms and he softly kissed her. This was where he'd wanted her to be all along, where he needed her to be. She fell asleep quickly, exhausted from a full day and a half of hiking and camping.
His mind shifted, and he thought about Emily. I'm a band-aid, Bobby. She had come along at the right time and given him the first aid he needed, to get him to the point he felt he could face whatever waited for him. Knowing that he'd misunderstood and he could have saved himself some grief would have caused him a new bout of guilt, except for her. She had almost made it all worthwhile. He loved his partner deeply, and he belonged with her. But if it weren't for her...he could have loved the spunky little lawyer. Maybe on some level, he did.
He sighed softly and gently kissed her forehead, then her temple...and her nose...and her lips... She groaned into his mouth and he pulled her closer, letting his tongue play with hers as his hands gently roamed. She caught her breath. "Cut it out," she whispered, laughing softly.
From across the fire, a rock landed near Goren's head. "I won't miss next time," Logan grumbled. "Go to sleep, dammit."
Goren laughed again, wrapping his arms around his partner. She snuggled into him, gently poking him in the ribs. "Yes, go to sleep," she whispered.
He gently rubbed her back and before long, they were both sleeping.
A/N: Everyone seemed worried the Eames was going to come upon Bobby and Emily, and that would have been an interesting scenario to play out, but I came to like Emily too much to mess with that particular scene. So I have other plans for Emily in his life...
