DISCLAIMER. Still own nothing......
A/N. This seems to be going into a different direction than I envisioned it, but I think its okay.....but I have had no feedback so don't know!!!!!!!!!!! Please you guys, it means a lot to me. Trying a bit of music in this one. The song is Alone without You by Mark Owen (guess where I got my last fanfic title from then?)
To get you back again
Joey sat in the basement of her dorms, watching her sheets go round and round in the dryer. She had dutifully sat there and watched them for the last hour. The truth was she was trying to drown the noises from her head. It wasn't working. Someone else in the laundry room had brought a radio down with them and it was playing a selection of crappy love songs. She became hypnotised by the tumbling sheets, the ideas in her head moving in a similar direction. The lyrics of one song didn't stop the thoughts about Dawson, Jen and Charlie, so much as set them to music.
I listened to your album, and I watched your favourite film,
Hey Hey Hey, I missed you today,
I read those early letters that were filled with early dreams,
Some of them materialized, some of them never seemed,
We used to watched the world walking by,
The truth is your not here,
Here I am,
I'm screwed up again,
No matter what, which way I turn,
How my feelings slowly bleeding here for you,
I'm spending time with hope.
I don't know why it is,
It's just the way it is.
What am I to say?
What am I to do?
What I alone without you.
And the truth is your not here,
And I'm screwed up again,
And I don't know the reason why,
I don't know why it is
Did I ever say?
I just need your love
And I want you back
I want you back again
You said this isn't our time,
So give me time,
To get you back again...
Maybe she was right before when she said there were no more chances left with Dawson. That jointly they had sabotaged any chances they ever had. She done so by running to other men, he done so by running to other woman. Surely that was a sign that they didn't need each other enough?
Enough. That was the word that got stuck in her mind. How much was not enough? Pacey renting her a wall, was that enough? Charlie giving her comfort when she needed it. Was that it? What had Dawson actually done to try and save her, to show how much he wanted her or to show how much he loved her? Chasing her around town once when they were 15 didn't seem good enough anymore.
The loud buzzing of the machine woke her from her deep thoughts as her sheets stopped moving. She shook her head and quickly folded the sheets. She smelt them, her own washing detergent filling her mind. No scent of Charlie left on them. She kind of wished she hadn't washed them, that she was allowed the luxury of being able to wrap herself in them for the day. But she knew she couldn't. She pilled them back into her laundry back and made her way back to her dorm room.
Pacey was sitting at her desk, looking through some webpage on the college intranet. He was still as good looking as he ever was in high school, although looks were never something that Joey was drawn to Pacey for. As much as Dawson thought he knew Joey, Pacey could actually put that knowledge into practice.
'Hey, where's Audrey?' Joey asked, throwing the bag on the bag and moving towards him to give him a hug.
'She's gone to class and thought you could do with some company when you came back from washing you dirty laundry...literally,' he smiled and wrapped his arms around her.
'So I am assuming that the little actress has told you all about my adventures last night,' Joey said, moving back towards the bed and unpacking the now cool bed sheets.
'Well at first I couldn't believe her. Josephine Potter caught doing the nasty in her own shower? And with Charlie no less! But by the guilty look on your face and your need to clean your bed sheets so quickly, I'm guessing that she was right,' Pacey said, joining Joey in making her bed.
'No need to sugar coat it then?'
'No,'
'No need to ask what your opinion is of said Charlie then?'
Pacey hesitated 'Also no,' he said, head down stuffing pillow's into pillow cases.
'Don't sugar coat it for me either then. Pacey, if you have something to say, then say it,' Joey said, wanting to hear what he really felt rather than his yes and no answers.
Pacey looked up and saw Joey's pleading face. Whenever she had asked him for his true opinion before it meant trouble, in one way or another. 'Sit down Potter,' he said, pulling her towards the bed and next to his side.
'I know Charlie is a bad lot. He cheated on Jen with no remorse or regret and I wouldn't want you, of all people, to get hurt by him,' Pacey said.
'Don't take this the wrong way but in the last year I've been really hurt by two men that I trusted and I knew wouldn't do anything to hurt me, one of which dumped me at my senior prom. If I can survive that, I think I could handle Charlie.' She smiled up at his face, trying to lighten the fact that it was not even a year since they had broke up.
'Oh Potter, I hate it when you're right. It gets me in the gut,' Pacey said smiling 'but if he does one thing to you, can I kick his ass? Please?'
'Of course. With Jack being a wuss and Dawson being...tied up, you're the only protection I have!' Joey said, resuming her bed making tasks with gusto.
'Speaking of the dirty weekender himself, can I be so bold to ask what is happening to the treasured and long praised Soulmate relationship?' Pacey said, picking up the final pillow and putting it into place.
'Soulmate? God that word is overused.' Joey said ruefully, collapsing on her newly made bed, a move that Pacey copied. 'I think that maybe we don't need each half as much as either of us would guess.'
'Are you sure about that, I mean after all the stuff that happened over the last year...'
'It was silly. Silly and adolescent. It's got out of hand now. I'm putting a stop to it.' Joey said firmly, not wanting to get talking about anything that happened before they all got to Boston. 'So what about you and you're fabled love life?'
'Ah, now that would be a delicate and personal question Potter, not one for discussing with ex girlfriends,' Pacey said, sitting up and glancing over at Audrey's side of the room.
'You should just ask her out you know,' Joey said, joining him in his glance.
'What Audrey? Nah, wouldn't work out. She's just so......Audrey,' Pacey giggled, thinking of some of the things Audrey had done and said the night before when they were searching for Joey.
'And that's why you like her right? Because she's Audrey. That's why I love her,' Joey said, getting up and opening her closet, eyeing up her clothes for an outfit to wear that night.
'You really do like her now? I remembered when you couldn't stand her,' Pacey said, swinging his legs around the bed to be sitting behind Joey.
'Yes, well I was clearly wrong.' Joey said, picking up a vest top and cardigan. 'Now, as much as I like you here, you need to go so I can get dressed,'
'Why bother, it's not as if I haven't...' Pacey begun, but was cut dead by a cold stare from Joey. 'Okay, I'll go. See you later Potter.'
He opened the door and paused to look back at her. He knew she was probably confused and mixed up by the recent turn in events and that any kind of relationship with anyone was not a good idea. But he had to let her go, he had no other choice. He shut the door behind him and made his way over the grams. He needed to talk to Dawson.
