A/N. Thanks for the reviews.....I agree with the comments about Jen, this is out of character...but that's all part of the story...as you will now see.

Deepest Blue.

Jen sat silently on the steps outside her house. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a solemn ponytail and she was trying to keep calm the emotions that were racing across her mind. She had just come home from one of the most amazing weekends of her life. It had been perfect in almost every respect, Dawson was everything she had dreamed her would be and by the time they came home late last night she thought it was possible that things would have worked out.

But she knew it wouldn't. When she saw Charlie wrapped around a glowing Joey, seeing that glow radiate from her old friend too, she felt the stab of jealously run through her. She tried to fight it, tried to reason with herself that she was in no position to lecture Joey about her choices in men. After all, she had all but literally stolen her soul mate that very weekend. But it still hurt. She hugged her knees to her chest and inhaled deeply into the sweater she was wearing. Dawson's over sized fleece still smelt of him. The emotions that stirred inside her were not the ones she expected however. That weekend, his slightest touch would make her jump with electricity. But now, sitting outside in the late November sun, it made her feel almost guilty. Guilty because she had done something she had promised herself she would never do again. She had stolen her best friend's boyfriend.

And that's where Dawson found her, curled up on the step like a small child waiting for bad news. He could see the tears had been running down her face earlier, her eyes red. He lowered himself onto the step next to her and put his arm around her tentatively.

'Hey,'

'Hey,'

They sat in silence, Jen reaching up and tugging at Dawson's hand, placing kisses along it gently.

'So, can I ask what happened back there?' Dawson said, trying to get her eye line.

'Nothing, just concerned about Joey and her emotions,' Jen said, lying.

Dawson didn't buy it for one second. 'I think it was more than that and you know it. Now, what has got you so upset? Do you still want Charlie?'

'No,' Jen answered angrily 'Do you still want Joey?' she snapped back.

'You know I don't,' Dawson said, knowing that he was, in part, lying.

'Do I? You looked less than thrilled with the little love scene we stumbled into earlier.' Jen said, brushing new tears away from her face.

'I admit that seeing Joey....like that was a shock, but not because she was doing...that but who she was doing it with,' Dawson said, trying to grab Jen's other hand but failing.

'Ain't that the truth?' Jen answered, slightly too bitterly for Dawson's liking. 'You don't think she did it to get back at us or me?'

Dawson swallowed hard. The thought that Joey would do anything out of spite hurt him, especially considering he was the cause of the spite. 'I don't think she would do something this major just to spite us or you. We just have to get on with our own lives I suppose. Concentrate on us.' Dawson said, smiling to hide the concern about Joey.

'Dawson, there can't be an 'us',' Jen said, standing up and trying to make her way to the door.

'Wait, what do you mean Jen? This weekend, it was...' Dawson stood up quickly, turning Jen around and forcing her to face him.

'How can we start a relationship that was built on your need for comfort and my need for some teenage dream I had,' Jen said, looking at him in the eyes for the first time.

'You don't mean that. It was special. You wanted me...' Dawson said, his mind swimming with images of their weekend together.

'I wanted the Dawson I couldn't have when I was in Capeside. I don't know what happened to me this weekend Dawson and I don't regret anything that happened between us, but you love Joey. Whatever happened before your Dad died you gave up your dream to be here with her. You can't just have forgotten that.' Jen said, her words getting mixed up in tears.

Dawson was silent. He knew she was speaking the truth. He did love Joey. But he couldn't let go of the fact that she was the reason he never said goodbye to his father properly. The reason he would forever wonder how proud his father was of him.

Jen looked at him. 'And you silence just confirms everything I just said. Dawson, don't let whatever you are holding onto get in the way of someone you love.'

'But I love you Jen,' Dawson said, pulling her into a tight embrace.

'I love you too Dawson. But not the way you love Joey. Not the way you love your Soul mate,'

'That term is so over used,' Dawson laughed gently. Jen felt him relax and joined in.

'Well you two started it,' she said, pulling away from him gently. She looked in his tear filled eyes and gently kissed him on the nose.

'So, what about you?' Dawson asked, returning the kiss.

'I need to figure out why it bothered me so much to see them together. Does that mean I still love Charlie or does it mean I have severe psychological problems when it comes to men?'

'I'd say a little from column A and a little column B.' Dawson joked.