A/N Hey everyone. Sorry for the short chapter last time. As everyone over at Feels Like Home knows, I've been busy saving my cat from the neighbour's pond, relocating to a non existent flat, finding a new place live and finally finding somewhere which isn't infested with rats (although the cats might like it) and then moving all 4 van loads across to said new place, not getting a working phone line and finally getting connected today. SO, sorry it's taken a while but it's finally done.
By the way…the cat is now dry….surly and evil but dry… you can't have everything.
Welcome to my truth.
'Okay…I understand Geoff but...no it's fine. Thanks for considering it…yeah I'll keep in touch. Thanks again,' Dawson clicked his cell phone shut and lowered himself onto his bed, holding his now throbbing head in his hands.
They had passed.
He could almost understand why. Who would want to watch a TV teen soap about 5 teenagers who don't actually do anything but sit around and over talk things? At least Felicity had sex in it. He looked up and saw the crowd of people outside on his front lawn. As much as he loved his mother, she always seemed to pick the most inappropriate times to throw parties. His 16th birthday flashed in front of him in a blur, the memory of the vast amount of vomiting him and Andie had done reminding him why he didn't drink to excess.
He saw Jen and Jack sitting on the end of the dock, Jack resting his head against Jen belly and holding Jen's hand tightly. Although no one had said it out loud, it was clear that Jack was going to play a major party in the new child's life. Jen threw her head back and laughed loudly, her golden curls tumbling down her back. Sometimes Dawson thought about what it would be like to be the father of Jen's baby. What they would look like, how they would be. It sent a shiver down his spine to think that it could have been him.
He heard a loud giggle and saw Lily and Alex chasing each other around the garden, both of them laughing wildly as they did so. It was sometimes scary to think that the baby he had left behind all those years ago was now a growing little girl. She was perfect; in her he saw all the best traits of his parents. She was kind and considered like Gail but had Mitch's fun streak to her. Plus she was a dreamer, something he knew his Dad would have wanted for her.
The slow realisation that his summer of hard work had come to nothing stung him, the pain in his head increasing. He just kept hearing the same words over in his head.
'We just can't see it working Dawson,'
He wanted to prove them wrong. He wanted to show them that he had the talent it took to write and make this show. He was too attached to the characters to let them slip away.
'So you avoiding me?' a voice from behind him said.
'Never,' Dawson said, knowing instantly who it was.
'You better believe it. You have a lot of people waiting for you down there. You're the life and soul of the party,' she said sarcastically.
'They passed Jo,' he said simply, not tearing his gaze from the window.
'What?'
'The network. They said they couldn't see the script working,'
Joey didn't say anything. She knew he didn't want hollow words of apology or conciliation. She sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder, letting his rest on the top of her head. She reached over and grabbed his hand, interlocking her fingers with his and squeezing lightly. He responded to her touch and held onto her hand tightly, closing his eyes and relishing the contact from her. She did the same, silently cursing herself for putting them back in this situation. But it felt right, the shivers down her arm proved that. Dawson released her hand and lifted his head, taking a deep breath.
'Thanks Jo.' He said in almost a whisper. When he turned to meet her eyes she was smiling her famous half smile, her eyes brimming with tears.
'Hey, why are you crying,' he said, full of concern. He reached over and cupped her face, brushing the tears away from her face with his thumbs.
'I just know how much you wanted it and I'm really sorry it didn't work out.' She said. The truth was the contact with him had caused her to cry. She had done nothing but dream about that brief kiss in New York all those months ago.
'I'll be okay. Sometimes life just doesn't pan out the way you want it to,' Dawson said, still holding Joey's face. He knew if he let her go now that he would never have the chance again.
'Sometimes it does though,' she said huskily, staring deep into his eyes. The same spark that was there when she saw him for the first time in years was still there, shinning through all the pain and confusion they were both feeling.
Dawson was frozen. He knew what he wanted to do, right there in that perfect moment. But he was too scared to get hurt again, to lose her again.
Ultimately the choice was taken away from him as Joey moved her face towards his and planted a light kiss on his lips. She had her eyes tightly closed, her brow scrunched up like she was concentrating on an exam. She kissed him again, this time with more urgency. He was still stunned, unsure of his next move. And then the sensation of kissing Joey over ruled the thoughts about kissing Joey and he was lost in the swill of emotions that washed over him.
Joey grabbed Dawson's neck and inched closer to him on the bed, her hands working their way up his neck and through his hair. She inhaled deeply and could smell him. He hadn't changed since he was 15, the same intoxicating scent filling her mind. Dawson let go of Joey's face and pulled her into him arms, wrapping himself tightly around her while hungrily devouring her. God he had waited for this moment for months. Maybe for years. He gently pulled her down onto the bed so they were lying side by side, continuing to rediscover each other. Their breath had become ragged and they urgently grabbed at each other's clothes, trying to pull them aside. Dawson ached to be closer to her, to feel her skin again.
Suddenly they heard a loud clattering from the window. Both of them sat bolt upright, still holding onto each other.
'Lily, you're going to fall again!' They heard Alex's voice from outside the window.
They turned to one another with panic across their faces, quickly standing up and brushing each other down. Joey attempted to button up her shirt with Dawson helping her.
'No I won't Alex, you're such a worry wort' Lily said as she reached the top of the ladder and started to climb through. She landed on the floor with a bump and looked up to see Dawson sitting on his bed, looking at a book.
'What ya doing?' She said, gesturing out of the window for Alex to climb up.
'Reading. What are you doing young lady? I thought that Mom had said you shouldn't use my ladder?' Dawson said, quickly turning the book up the right way before Lily noticed.
'Umm…well…. Alex thought it would be cool to try it out,' Lily stuttered.
'No I didn't!' Alex said, clomping out of the window. 'Lily wanted to play 'Joey and Dawson' for a while in your room,'. Lily slapped Alex's arm as he came closer.
Dawson blushed crimson with the thought of what he and Joey had just been doing. Playing 'Dawson and Joey' was strictly off the cards for Lily and Alex for many years.
'Well….umm…why don't you go downstairs and I will come get you when I'm done reading, okay?' Dawson said, standing up and shoeing the two children out of his room. Lily opened her mouth to protest but the door was quickly shut and locked before she had a chance.
Dawson collapsed against the door and exhaled deeply.
'Coast is clear,' he said, opening the wardrobe door and finding Joey curled up on the floor in her familiar position. She tucked her hair behind her ear and took Dawson's hand to stand.
'Well, that was an unexpected flashback into teen drama.' Joey said smiling. Dawson was still holding her hand as she got to her feet, intertwining his fingers between hers. 'Remember that time your parents caught us making out?'
'Ah yes and then Mom gave you that book on sex,'
'And your Dad gave you're the 3rd degree for weeks on end,'
Both of them smiled at the memory and then gazed into each other's eyes. They remained silent, both of them unsure at what to say. Dawson's grip on Joey's hand had become tighter and he reached over and grabbed her other hand.
'Joey I…'
'No, I think I need to say something,' Joey interrupted.
Dawson closed his mouth and nodded silently, puling Joey towards the bed so they could both sit side by side.
'These last 5 years have been amazing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I missed you so much. But I think we needed it. We needed to find out what we could be without each other and what the big bad world was actually like without running back here and hiding in your closet. And I'm so glad of it. I'm so glad that I got to go to Europe and that you went to LA.' She smiled and looked over at him, griping his hands tightly.
'And when I came back you accepted me again with open arms. No anger, no resentment. You forgave me for what I had done as much as I had forgiven you.'
'Of course I had Jo, you mean the world to me. When I lost you, didn't know where you were or what you were doing, it killed me. And it killed me all the more because it was my own doing. It was like the summer you ran away with Pacey all over again….'
'Wait, I'm not saying this to make you feel bad or to make you think you have something to prove to me. I just wanted to say that whatever happened, you were right.'
'I was?' Dawson said, confused by the turn in the conversation.
'You once said to me that all roads lead back to you. You were right. They do Dawson' Joey said, a small smile on forming on her face.
Dawson broke into a huge grin. 'Does that mean what I think it means?' he said nervously.
'That we should book ourselves into a motel and go at it like a couple of porn stars?' Joey said smiling.
'That and you want to give this a chance?'
'More than that Dawson. I want to make this it. You've always been the one. Always.' Joey shuffled closer to Dawson on the bed and placed her delicate hand on his check. He closed his eyes and relished her touch, trying to capture every memory from the moment.
'I love you Joey,' he whispered.
'I love you too,' she said, resting her forehead on his. Both of them inhaled deeply, feeling the electric buzz fill the room, neither of them wanting it to end.
'So what did you want to say?' Joey said, breaking the silence after a couple of moments.
'Oh, well I wanted to say that we should enter into some kind of casual sex pact, but everlasting love and romance? I think I could live with that,' Dawson lied, pulling his head up and looking into Joey's eyes.
'Funny Dawson, real funny,' Joey smiled, moving her face closer to his.
'I try,' he muttered before her lips met her again.
They lost themselves in each other's kisses again, slower and more passionate this time.
'Mmmm…before we get totally…distracted again, when shall we tell the jackals downstairs?' Dawson said, pulling away from the kiss.
'I think this could stand to be something we kept to ourselves for a while? You up for sneaking around Mr Leery,' Joey said, arching her eyebrow.
'Depends what I get in return?' he said huskily, pulling Joey onto his lap.
'Well, like the good student you are, you will just have to wait,' she said, lowering her face slowly towards his.
'Dawson, are you done yet? You're missing this party!' Gail screamed from downstairs.
Joey climbed off him and reached her hand out to pull him off the bed. 'Can we postpone this till this evening?' Joey said, pulling Dawson to his feat and wrapping her arms around his waist.
'Sure, your place? I'm not sure if we would get a moment alone in this place.' Dawson said, kissing the top of her head.
'Well I say, what kind of girl do you take me for?' Joey said, stepping back from him and throwing her hands to her forehead in mock surprise.
'The type of girl who would tease a man with promises of rubber and student-teacher fun and games?' Dawson said, pinning her to the back of the door.
'Ah….good point, well made. Walk me home after the party?'
'Sure' he said kissing her one last time before unlocking the door behind her and ushering her out of the bedroom.
