The REAL chapter 1
Just so you know even though ya probably won't care the other person who was 2nd best for Bilbo was Pit.
An Unexpected Party.
On a ordinary day in the Shire In Bag End,Bilbo Baggins is sitting on a rocking chair on his porch.
Gandalf walks along.
Young link:"Hi and good mornin' mister."
Bowser er... Gandalf stops.
Bowser:"What do you mean by 'good morning'?Do you mean it's a good morning or you want a good morning?"
Young link who's confused says"Both at the same time sir!Would you like to come for tea tommorow?"
Bowser:"Yes I would and I am going to come."
Young Link:"Alright then see ya mister..." Young Link is asking his name.
Bowser says"You know me already Bilbo but probably don't remember me.I am Gandalf."
Young Link whos really freaked out says"Gandalf!The same Gandalf who goes on adventures?The same Gandalf who made those awesome fireworks at the Old Took's parties?The same Gandalf who I think hit me in the head with his staff-thingy?"
Bowser:"All of them including the thing with the head.That's what ya deserved for tryin' to steal my cool fireworks ya damn 7 year old kids...Anyway I'm here to invite you on a adventure which ya probably won't come back from.Whaddya say?"
Bowser just notices That Young Link is running for his door and that he went inside and closed the door.
Young Link is still freaked out and says "Adventure my ass.Wait...Crap!I invited him for tea!Ah well It's just tea.It's time to go to sleep."
So Bilbo goes to sleep.
Later the next day.
Young Link er...Bilbis finishing his 2nd breakfast.
There is a knock on the door.
Young Link:"I bet thats Gandalf now."
So Young Link answers the door and says "Welcome Gan-.. wait who the hell are you!"
Falco/Dwalin:"Dwalin at your service and stuff." says Dwalin not really caring at what Bilbo said to him.
Young Link is back to normal and says"So?Oh.Oh!Sorry uh Bilbo Baggins at yours."Says Bilbo bowing.
Dwalin hangs his hood like he was invited,walks over to the kitchen and sits.
Falco:"May I have some cake?"
YL(young Link) says"Uh sure.Ya want some tea with that?"
Falco:"No thanks, how about some red wine?"
The Bilbo hears the doorbell.
YL:"Sorry I gotta get the door."
Young Link opens the door thinking that it's Gandalf says"Where the hell have u been?"
Of course no Gandalf but a 2nd dwarf.
Pichu/Balin:"Balin at your service."
YL who knows what to do now"Bilbo Baggins at yours."
Balin sees a green hood and says"I see my brother is already here and the others are coming."
YL:"WHAT?OTHERS!WHAT THE-"
Dwalin throws a spoon at his head and says "Wine.Now.Wait it's right on the table.Sorry."
Balin walks over to the table and sits with his bro Pichu.I mean Dwalin!
Bilbo gets him some cakes too,and hears the doorbell.
YL:"Sorry again.To the door!",and runs to the door hoping it will be Gandalf.
YL:"Finally-Ah crap."
And now Luigi/Fili and Dr.Mario/Kili kind of known as the dwarven bros. are in the house.
Luigi&Dr.Mario:"Fili and Kili at your service."
YL who is getting a little pissed says"Sure,sure, come in jackasses."
Luigi&Dr.Mario:"What?"
YL:"Nothing!"
So Fili and Kili walk over to Balin and Dwalin.
Now they're serving themselves when the doorbell rings again.
YL:"Not again..."
So once again Bilbo walks to the door opens it and there's 5 dwarves.
DK/Dori,Pikachu/Nori,Ness/Ori,Marth/Gloin,Nana/Oin:"We are at your service.
Bilbo:"Thanks?"
The 5 dwarves walked over to Falco,Pichu,Luigi,and Dr. Mario.
YL whos kinda nervous says"I hope that's all-"
Doorbell rings again.
Bilbo walks over opens and sees 4 more dwarves and Gandalf.
Bowser:"What took ya so long Bilbo?Well we're all here and let me tell u who these 4 are."
Yoshi/Bifur,Jigglypuff/Bofur,and Kirby/Bombur:"Bifur Bofur, and Bombur at your service."
Bowser:"Okay now you know 12 out of the 13 dwarves here.This dwarf is Thorin.Now make some food Bilbo!"
Mario/Thorin:"I am Thorin Oakenshield!FEAR ME!"
Bowser not scared says"Whoop-de frickin doo."
Mario:"Alright then we are here to talk about the quest of the Lonely Mountain."
YL:"What?Can someone tell me what's goin' on?"
Mario:"That's what I'm getting to so shut your face.Anyway long ago there was a dwarf kingdom caled Erebor inside the lonely Mountain.There was a hell-a lot of-a treasure there.and right next to the mountain was a human settlemen called Dale.That-a was a place where...I don't remember much about it so shut up.So the fat-ass dragon Smaug came,attacked and killed all the dwarves except me,Balin,my father,and my grandfather who was the king under the mountain.After that fatty burned some of the river so a fog came on Dale and stuff.And the dragon killed almost everyone there too even Lord Girion who was the king of Dale.So fatty went into the mountain and is keeping all the monies there for his greedy,fat,bitchy self.So we are going to get back our gold,silver,and the rest.And to kill the dragon."
Bilbo says "You really hate him don'tcha?"
Mario:"Yep!I hope that fat son of of a bitch dies a really painful death."
Bowser walks up to Thorin and says "You need a burgular to steal into the mountain.And this is him.Young Link uh I mean Bilbo Baggins."
YL who hears that says"What?NEVER!YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
Yl runs away into the wall and gets knocked out.
Everyone stares at Bilbo and Mari... er I mean once again I gotta stick with one or the other Thorin says"Alright uh once again tomorrow we will go on the adventure to kill that mothe fker!"
