Just Listen
"Annabel! Hurry up! We don't want to be late!" My mom and dad were waiting at the door for me. I had received a call earlier that I was act 4. This meant I would be on stage in about…I looked at my watch. About 20 minutes. My stomach was putting up a real fight. I had butterflies flying all over the place.
I was wearing my new t-shirt and a short black skirt. I had some blue high heels we had bought for modeling, but had never worn since that I decided to wear. I had straightened my hair, and put in some sparkly blue earrings. By then my mom was calling me, and I had no time to do anything fancy with my make-up. I rushed down the stairs, and followed my parents out the front door to the car. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I was so nervous I could hardly talk. How was I supposed to sing? I hands were clenched into fists, sweating like never before.
"Did you charge the camera?" My dad asked my mom, keeping his eyes locked on the road. My mom froze up. Then she took a deep breath and started searching around the car.
"I got it." My mom had found it in her purse. It took us 10 minutes to arrive. That meant I was on in about 10 more. I was sweating so bad I started to think that maybe I shouldn't be going on stage; I'd be a mess of nervousness and sweat. And who wanted to see that? I definitely didn't want my parents, Clarke, or anyone else to see that. I wanted them to be proud of me. I wanted to do a good job with my performance.
I slammed the car door shut and started slowly up the stairs to the mall, where it was being held this year. Tons of people passed me, smiling. I met Clarke on the way. She was dressed in purple and black. When she saw my expression she tried to give me a pep talk, but I wasn't sure it did any good. I was still just as nervous as before. Except now I was aware that practically the whole town would be watching.
Clarke and my parents went to find a good seat while I walked back stage. I checked my name on the list and sat down, trying to calm myself. I had seen some people in the audience already. Even some of my aunts and uncles were there. Then it hit me. It was like a kick in the face. I forgot. I forgot to think about inviting Owen or not. In that moment, I almost started crying. I couldn't believe it. But I couldn't invite him now, could I? Or maybe I could…I reached for my cell phone.
"I'm sorry; we're going to have to ask that you use that outside. Someone is performing." A lady dressed in all black with a clipboard told me. I got up to run outside, but then I heard it.
"And for act number 4, we have…" The male voice paused, probably checking the list of performers. "Annabel Greene!" The audience broke out into applause. I put down my cell phone and walked towards the curtain, thinking the whole way, oh God, oh God…I walked onto the stage, my heels clicking the fake wood floor as I did. "Hello Annabel! So you will be singing a song for us tonight. Which one are you performing?" I blinked. What song was I performing?
I paused before answering. I waited it to come to me. Oh, right. "Black Roses Red by Alana Grace," my voice croaked. I cleared my throat, completely aware of how the audience was staring at me, and took the microphone from the man's hands. I saw my mom in the 5th row, camera turned on, already recording. I saw Clarke, smiling and waiting for me to begin. I saw all these people from the town I had known all my life. Then towards the back, I saw an empty seat. And I thought of Owen. And then I thought about how much I loved him. I loved Owen, and I knew it.
"I want to, dedicate this…to all those people that have cared about me, and helped me in my life. But most of all, I want to dedicate this to my boyfriend." I looked at my feet. Okay, here goes. It all begins here.
I started singing. I didn't look at people's faces. Instead, I thought of Owen's. I wished he had been there.
Can
I ask you a question please
Promise you won't laugh at me
Honestly
I'm standing here
Afraid I'll be betrayed.
As twisted as it
seems, I only fear love when it's in my dreams
So let the morning
light come in and let the darkness fade awayCan you turn my
black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?
Drowning
in my loneliness
How long must I hold my breath
So much
emptiness inside I could fill the deepest sea
I reach to the sky
as the moon looks on
One last year has come and gone
It's time
to let your love rain down on me
Can you turn my black roses
red?
Cause I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love
Can you
turn my black roses red?
Cause I'm feelin like I'll blame it on
love
I'm feeling like I'll blame it on love
I let my voice carry every emotion within me to the audience sitting in front of me.
When I finished, the audience clapped louder than the performance before me. The audience clapped louder for my performance than any other one I saw later on. And that was reward enough. My parent telling me I did amazing was enough. I sat next to my father through the rest of the performances. About half way through, he whispered in my ear, "You sounded like an angel up there. I'm proud of you." He smiled.
At the end of the show, the judges stepped on stage and announced their decision. "The decision was unanimous. Our first place winner is…" they paused, "Truth Squad!" The band members ran up onto the stage, jumping around. A tall guy with dark curly hair took the award and the microphone.
"Hey everyone! My name is Dexter and we're thankful for this award! Make sure you come and see us play at the local club!" One of his band members kicked him in the leg and took the microphone.
"I want to thank my parents, and my brother, who has always supported me…" He was cut off. The judges took the microphone back and shooed them off stage, clapping politely. I wasn't disappointed. I didn't need to win anything. They continued on.
"Our second place winner is…" they paused again, causing the audience to shuffle in their seats. "Annabel Greene!" I sat in awe as they said my name. I had won something? I had honestly won something? I stood up and walked towards the stage. I accepted my award and made my speech short, unlike Dexter and the Truth Squad.
"Thank-you everyone for this award. I just want to thank my parents, my friend Clarke…and Owen…who showed me music was a language, and a connection between people." I lost myself in that moment. It wasn't me walking off of that stage, with an award. Or at least, it didn't feel like me. I was in a different world. I needed to see Owen.
I didn't walk back to my seat. I let my feet carry me towards the doors of the mall…until I saw something. A dark shadow, leaning against the wall. When I got closer, I could make out the familiar features I knew. It was Owen standing there. I walked up to him. He didn't make eye contact.
"When were you going to tell me you joined this thing?" He stared at the audience. My heart sank. I knew I should have invited him.
"I…I tried…but then I forgot about it..." I knew excuses weren't going to work.
"Everyone was here…but me. Everyone saw you perform, except me. I thought I meant something to you…I thought we were on the same page." He stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"You do mean something to me. You mean a lot to me." I tried to get through to him. But it didn't work. He shook his head and walked towards the doors. "Wait! Owen!" I called after him. All I heard was the faint sound of music, as he was turning it up, drowning me and the rest of the world out.
