Hello again. Thanx for keeping up the reviews…. the good and the bad…. I appreciate them all…oh and Kaoru of course she noticed a change, but she loves him so much that she was blissfully unawares of the real reason why he distanced himself…she just assumed it was something physical and that he didn't want her worrying about, or was too embarrassing…BTW, to answer the question, it's hard to say if I've ever been in love…I'm young and I think my time will come…. infatuation, yes of course who hasn't? Well I hope u guys keep enjoying my story….
As I saw my son's form disappear from my view, I suddenly saw my young self. The young boy I was when I left my master to join the war. In a way, his outburst reminded me of that day long ago when I had disobeyed the man who had saved me from a life of slavery and given me strength.
I realized that in my young days I had been very much like my son. I left to Kyoto and became the Hitokiri Battosai. In those days, if it hadn't been because I found love, I would have descended into darkness. My life before Tomoe was an empty void, she gave me life again. Tomoe was my first love, and now I hope that my son will find love before he plunges deeper into that despair that is eating him alive.
Tomoe. After her, I thought that I would never be able to feel alive. I missed the smell of white plum that accompanied her, her almost smile, everything. I had killed her. I wanted to die with her. But Tomoe had changed me. She returned that humanity that I had lost back to me. That half lost sanity all returned, and it was because of her, but all those were just memories. Memories that still hurt me, but they are memories that I can go back to visit now.
It was because of Shishio that I can now look back at those memories. He made me return to a place where I had hoped never to return. Kyoto. The place where I had met her, and the place where I had lost her.
Maybe I was never meant to love. Maybe my love is cursed. Why do I always hurt the people I care about? I'll never forget my son's retreating figure, emanating so much anger and pain. A feeling that I created in him.
I wonder what would have been of all our lives if I had left when the Kairyu pirates took me prisoner? If I had left with Shuura-dono? Would I have a son who would love me, or maybe a daughter?
Maybe my mistake began that day. The day I said goodbye to the person who could have given me what I was looking for, but I couldn't leave Kaoru just like that, but maybe I should have done it.
"Kenshin?" Kaoru brings me back from my memories.
"Oro?'
"You had a funny look on your face." She tells me.
I smile at her. "I was just reminiscing."
"About what if I may inquire?"
"About…" I pause, "Tomoe" I see her smile falter a little, "and the Kairyu Pirates."
She stays silent. Those are not favorite topics of hers.
"It had been a long time since I thought of Tomoe. A very long time." I mumble to myself as an apology to her.
"Tomoe was a very important person to you. She was your first wife, it is only natural that you think of her occasionally." She tells me.
"You are too kind."
"I can't fight a dead woman, but I don't have to."
Of course she doesn't have to fight Tomoe for anything. Her place in my heart is irreplaceable, but that goes for every person I have ever loved. Nobody can replace no one in anybodies heart, everyone has his or her own special place.
"I understand about Tomoe, but what made you remember the Kairyu pirates?"
"I don't honestly know. Maybe it was that I remembered that Shuura-dono promised me we were going to be friends if we ever met again"
"She was a good woman. I wonder if she is doing well after all those years?"
"The ocean is unpredictable, but she loved the ocean so much that I think she is doing well."
The Kairyu pirate, what could have been, but wasn't.
This is more like a filler chapter, but I really liked the idea of Kenshin/Shuura, too bad she didn't appear in the manga….so sad….it was just a little inside about the women in kenshin's life….till next chapter.
