AD: When we last left Mike….

The Goblins were carrying him, Mike, of all people, like he was Thrall himself.

For the first time in his life Mike felt like he could do more than kill an enraged Walrus. "You guys make me feel loved!" Mike told the Goblins. One of them looked at him, and asked, "You been drinking forbidden fire water?" Mike burst into tears. "You really do love me!" he shouted. The Goblin looked disgusted and said, "Me Kleiopeseratey, but tribe call me Kled." Mike bobbed his head, tears still flowing like a river.

As the company reached the top of an ice-covered ridge, Mike saw the wonders of the Blue Goblins! Below, in a shallow valley, were igloos. That's all, just lots of igloos. It was about as far as the eye could see and that's was pretty far. Kled had Mike taken to his igloo, and dropped unceremoniously on the ground. Then he proceeded to talk to Mike about the penguins and Northrend.

"We live here long time, so penguins," He said, "but we Goblins true rulers! Long time now we fight with penguins." as he said this his blue eyes lit up. "But now we have vantage!" by now Kled was practically dancing. "You!" he screamed like a madman. "You big bad elf help us tear penguins limb from limb and eat their tasty hides in war of epic proportions!"

At this moment an elderly goblin walked in and said, "You need take medicine afore you explode, Kled." Kled was practically having convulsions. Mike had listened in silent fascination, and now, as the elderly goblin forced some vile looking green stuff down Kled's throat he thought about how this could work to his advantage.

He saw himself leading an army of Blue Goblins! Fighting heroically against the penguins! Becoming the greatest (goblin) hero ever! Maybe even ruling all of Northrend! However, the part of him that has some ounce of logic saw the truth.

An army of Blue Goblins deliberately putting him in front so he could die. Cowering at the sight of the smallest penguin. Becoming the most laughed at (elf) hero ever. And of course you don't rule Northrend with out facing…Arthas.

In the mean time steam was spouting from Kled's ears and three goblins were holding him down, trying to stuff even more medicine down his mouth while his eyes bulged and he screamed bloody murder.

That was when Mike stood up and said, "I shall aid thou Goblins and help thee ridst thyself of yonder penguins!" The result of this speech was phenomenal. Kled stopped spazzing out and looked pleased. The elderly goblin slapped him for speaking Shakespearean. The other two goblins rolled on the floor laughing.

"Excellent!" shrieked Kled. "You be good addition to army, we certainly feast on penguin flesh now!"

That night a feast was held to honor Mike, the newest Blue Goblin. He declined the offer to be painted blue however. "Now we kill all penguins and rule Northrend!" screamed Kled. The assembly cheered and took long draughts of Polar Bear mead. The feast was memorable in many ways for Mike. Four goblin children thought it would be fun to dunk him in molten lead (he barely escaped). He found out the meat he was munching on was ghoul. And, to top it off, he accidentally swallowed an entire container of laxatives.

He went to bed that night, in extreme pain (soon to be relief) and wishing he knew who had abducted him. Had his life taken a turn for the better? That's impossible to say. Is there a wrong way to eat a Recess? That's also impossible to say.

AD: this chapter actually had a few problems which I fixed, you MIGHT find more.