AD: I have zero reviews so far, w00t!
Ty was infuriated for three good reasons. One, he and his army had been killed by a meteor. Two, he was now dead. And three, they don't serve fish in penguin heaven.
"But I will have revenge!" thought Ty, "and then the world will bow to the might of the penguins!" So to attain this now unattainable revenge, Ty pulled out his cell phone and dialed 334-6678…
Meanwhile… in some unknown place in Northrend…
Mike watched in silent fascination as the Goblins prepared to engage the penguin army in battle. Well, not the main army, just a small branch who were out for an early taste of blood. "Alrighty then!" shrieked Kled, "We is all ready to kill so let's get down to business!"
This phrase had a strange effect; soon all the goblins were singing a strange song.
Let's get down to business!
To defeat, the Huns!
Did they send me daughters?
When I asked, for sons!
The song wasn't finished as several penguin spears killed the main singer. The penguins seemed enraged by the song (everything enrages penguin it seems) and they charged down the slope in a violent wave of flightless birds.
The Goblins were equally riled and charged up the slope in a blue tide of death. Mike stayed where he was until he realized he might be able to prove himself a hero if he could kill the penguin leader here.
The penguins and goblins tore at each other like vicious wolves fighting over a scrap of meat. Spears hurled through the air, impaling the unlucky person who the spear was directed at in the frozen ground (?).
Mike was ready, he charged, until he saw the smallest penguin. Here he would prove himself. Then the penguin roared like an enraged orc and drew out three spears. (One in each hand and one in its beak). It was practically dripping blood from all over with a feral look in its eyes. Like one who seeks death.
Mike shrieked and ran from the terrifying beast. He hid behind a bush and said, "Oh please don't find me please!" Of course the author decided this was his fight.
The penguin approached, an insane look in its eyes. Mike stood up, and raised his demon blades. The penguin charged at Mike who stood in his stance. As the penguin got nearer, Mike kicked outward. "CHEAP SHOT!" he shouted. The penguin grabbed its groin and Mike plunged his blade into the savage creatures neck.
The effect was immediate. Some how, all the penguins knew that their leader was dead and they fled like little girls.
Kled actually thought he might have a real catch now; Mike had actually defeated an enemy. "Well done Mike!" screamed Kled as his body began to shake.
Ferj, as usual, was nearby with the medicine. "You is a true fighter now Mike," said Ferj as he stuffed the vile green stuff down Kled's throat.
And Mike knew it was true, but he also knew that the book wasn't ended yet and that the author might make things even more difficult, he had survived on a whim this time.
At the goblin camp they cheered and danced in circles. That's all. No feast this time. No award. Just stupid dancing.
Mike, was now overconfident and believed that he could take any enemy. So he left the village at night to go to a nearby cliff, which overlooked the village. But, something unexpected happened.
As he stood by the cliff, he heard the sound of a sword being drawn from a sheath. He quickly turned around to see, a shadowy figure with a sword. Mike didn't know why, but he didn't feel extreme cowardice like he does in every battle. The figure looked at him and said, "Your interfering with our plans, you will have to die." Its voice made it plain that it wasn't a penguin.
It attacked, swinging the sword in a glorious arc. Mike drew up his blades to block. The figure stepped back and lashed out with the sword, as though it were a baseball bat. It made contact. With Mike's blades.
Now it was Mike's turn. He stabbed, and missed, stabbed again, and stabbed himself. As he lay near the edge of the cliff he shouted at the figure, "I will never give in! You killed my father!" The figure looked bored, "No Mike, I am your father." Of course Mike knew this wasn't true so he threw his demon blade and it killed the shadowy figure.
But the figure was expecting this and apparently had a bomb implanted in his body that went kaboom the moment he died.
Meanwhile in China….
Hong! Wong Fea, Yung Soui! Then the Chinese guys neck imploded.
Meanwhile at the cliff…
Mike dragged himself into the village. No one noticed the blood spilling from his side (because they all had been hitting the forbidden panda water) and Mike crawled into his igloo. At least he was happy. He had beaten the figure without being a coward. And avenged his father's death. Bt none of this brought him closer to knowing who abducted him or if there is a wrong way to eat a Recess.
AD: wow, this panda water is good! At any rate the Chinese guy thing, I have nothing against Chinese people, it's a joke.
