My Songbird

"I want you to choose, because at this moment I just want to yell and shout at you. Choose me or leave. Honestly, it breaks my heart to hear you say we can't see each other for a while because people are getting 'suspicious'. And that we have to wait until everyone has their own life, to start our own, together."

"Why do you get discouraged so easily? You just want to give up, just like that?….everything you preached to me and promised. All lies…..I'm right aren't I? You just lied to me; you drew me a beautiful fairy tale. A life that you knew I wanted."

DON'T turn this into you; this isn't me blaming you for something wrong you did. This is me telling you. choose.. I want everything I promised you, I dream of those things. But Im sick of hiding from everyone. I want to walk with you. Tell others that you are mine, my very own. I want to tell people that im with someone. Someone tremendously unique and amazing.

I couldn't comprehend what he was telling me, I felt attacked and I felt threatened that what I had would be gone. He continued with passion that he's never shown me or anyone before.

"When I ask this of you, you reply with soon, and then I wait. I wait until it too much and I plead with you again. You tell me im acting like a baby! A baby! How can you honestly call what we have a relationship? Im sick of waiting!
I Shouldn't have to wait... You decide what you want, because im not sure you even understand what you have."

He looked at me through painful eyes, pleading with me. His blue orbs piercing my skin. His jaw was tightened and he meant every word he said.

"I should've known Draco, Let me help you then, We are officially no longer together.. No more problems for either of us. No more waiting either. Good day and good bye."

At that point I was just realizing all this, and I was talking to myself. None of this was directed towards him, it was all directed to my heart, my heart that got carried away with itself and I never understood it until then.

I hadn't expected the outcome, the terrible outcome that would come from my own mouth, from the words we promised we wouldn't say to each other.

And I ran, I wanted to be anywhere but there. That was that and I never knew how much my heart could hurt. My breathing struggled through tightened strangling tubes. My throat was cutting off circulation to my head. And I sat. I sat until my eyes burned.

Those teardrops weren't for him, they were for me, how I believed that I was going to marry him and have his revolting kids and be in his hideous family. I knew they were hideous, I knew because of his father's cruel heart, and his deceiving mind. But why am I comparing him to his revolting father? He's willing to risk what he is, to be with me. He shows me he's unlike them. But how am I supposed to trust him with everything that's occurred all these years.

God, how fucking stupid could I have been? How stupid I was, I truly felt betrayed, betrayed only by my fucking self. I must admit, he was right. Everything he said, he was right. He was speaking from his heart, and I grabbed those words, those pleas.. he asked of me, and tore them to shreds.