AD: yes sir, first review from Orangesonfire. My humble thanks. Mike is waiting at the end of the chapter to comment on his review.

Mike was discovered the next morning, in the refrigerator. Apparently he had a jaded belief that nearly freezing himself to death would stop the bleeding. After Kled had him extracted, he was tossed into his igloo to thaw out.

Meanwhile in the penguin village…

The new penguin leader walked into the sunlight and grinned a large bloody grin. After he had received a call from Ty he had become leader of the penguin armies. And he was ready to go to war and kill every Goblin that crossed his path.

"Listen up you useless flightless birds!" he shouted, "Now we has me! A good leader and we going to kill those blasted Goblins!" Loud squawking greeted this speech. "We moving out to war in three days exactly!" he told the assembly. Then he turned around, stole a little kids ice cone, and went back towards his ice hole.

Back at the Goblin Village…

"Listen up you blue men!" shrieked Kled, "We has reports that bad birds be attacking in a three days!" The goblins roared in blood lust. "We kill them all soon!" Kled screamed.

Mike was happy with this announcement. That meant he could be certain that he wasn't a coward. Time to challenge a deadly enemy who had humiliated him…the stuffed penguin! (Horrifying music).

Mike looked the stuffed penguin in the eye. The penguin just sat there. Mike lifted his demon blades and charged like an enraged kodo. The penguin just sat there. Mike leapt like a flying hippogriff! The penguin just sat there. And like last time, Mike tripped before he reached the penguin. But the penguin had other plans, and when Mike tripped he went through a cleverly disguised hole that had been cut in the ice.

"Crap this is cold," Mike said as he sank in the subzero waters. And then he saw it! Just in front of him, like a glowing rock, was the answer to his greatest problem! There is a wrong way to eat a Recess. Mike had just seen it with his own eyes and now felt like throwing up it was so disgusting.

Kled fished Mike out later and gave him to the goblin children who dunked his frozen body in a vat of molten lead. Ouch. That's all I have to say.

Meanwhile in Kled's igloo…

Ferj had Kled strapped down and was forcing down entire gallons of the green concoction. For some odd reason Kled's spaz attack had been unbelievably powerful this time. His eyes glowed red, 666 appeared on his forehead, lightning shot out of his, well you get the picture.

Meanwhile at the molten lead tank…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mike screamed to high heaven. And he was shot to high heaven too. Like an erupting volcano Mike flew 349 meters in the air and landed in the pool of panda water. "Much better," Mike sighed and let himself sink in the stuff (drinking it at the same time).

Kled marched out of his tent in full war gear, a loincloth and a spear. Ferj followed in full medic gear, a loincloth and a bucket of that green stuff.

It was day two of the waiting, and it was time to begin the march to where the battle would take place. The penguins had tried to book Azjol'Nerub but it was taken. So was the Great Dragonblight. So they had booked Arthas' Landing Site. Not quite the great battlefield they had imagined.

And so the Goblin army (and a very drunk Mike) began the march to the battlefield. And in some other random part of Northrend, the penguins did the same thing (even though its only been two days). (Epic, heroic music plays).

AD: this chapter wasn't so funny me thinks. Perhaps now I'm focusing too much on the battle. But after the battle I promise we'll get a nice comedy scene.

Mike: well I'm here to read the review my fans left me!

AD: what fans?

Mike: o shut up!

Mike: To Orangesonfire (or whatever) well if you liked the fact that Harry and Frodo were in this it might interest you to know there are actually about five cross-references. The song the goblins sang is from Mulan (Disney's Mulan that is). As for random humor, that was intentional.