A.N: WOAH. It's been almost two years since I've updated this story. I guess being a teenager you're bound to get too caught up with your social life. I began this fic when I was only 13, and now I'm almost 16. My writing styles have since then changed. I've been trough heartbreak and the usual things teens go through, experimenting with stupid substances. I am not particularly proud of these things but it has changed me as a person a lot. So I think this will also change the way I write. Well I was going through my fics and it would be a waste of what I think is a good story line if I did not continue. So I will be continuing this and my other fic NO MORE PAIN. Hope you like, please read and review.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the clamp characters or CCS.
CHAPTER2: Pushing you away.
"There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go."
Tennessee Williams
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
Kahlil Gibran
'I love you too, but I can't keep hurting you. Even if this means lying to you. I'm sorry Syao-kun.' Sakura eyes brimmed with tears, her long auburn hair swayed against the breeze. "I'm sorry. Do you really want to know why?" She looked up to meet with deep amber eyes gazing at her intensely.
"Yes, Sakura tell me why. Why you decided to end our friendship just like that, why you're so distant. Why you're not the Sakura I once knew. The happy girl that made my heart stir." Syaoran spoke lowly his amber eyes never leaving her emerald ones.
"I ended it because," Sakura whispered, tears streaming down her pale porcelain face. "Because I'm engaged to Tsukishiro Yukito."
Her heart sank when she saw Syaoran's pained expression. Silence engulfed their atmosphere. Syaoran looked away, and smiled weakly.
"I see." Syaoran said breaking the silence. He looked back at her, sorrow still reflecting in his eyes. "This doesn't mean we can't be friends. As long as you're happy I'm happy. Even if you don't feel the same way. I just want things to be like before, I miss hanging out with you like this."
"Yeah, I do too. I'm really happy you understand."
"It's getting late I better get you home." Syaoran replied and began leading her to his car.
Sakura's POV
The car ride was silent and I knew I hurt him, but I know that this'll hurt less if I push him away. If I let him think that I'm in love with another, I glance at him from the corner of my eyes. He has changed so much from the last time we were this close, 4 years ago. He was now much taller, 6 feet maybe. The only thing that remained the same are his eyes, still intense and still in that deep shade of amber. The car came to a halt, Syaoran's gaze was still straight ahead.
"Bye." I said as I opened the car door and began to step out as I felt his hand gently grab my arm. I turned back and I could see the hesitation in his eyes.
"I'm really thankful that you're helping me with this bet Sakura. I just want to know one thing, and I promise from now on you and I will remain nothing but friends. Do you love him?"
Couldn't he see that this was hard for me, lying to his face. I want more than anything for him to know my true feelings. For him to see that in my heart there is only him. But fate is cruel, and my time was almost here, I couldn't tell him I love him and be gone in a couple of months. No because I love him too much, because I want him to easily move on when I'm gone.
"Yes I do." I lied.
"Okay, that was all that I needed to now. I'm really happy for you Sakura. I hope to see you tomorrow at school."
I smiled gently at him and made my way to the porch. I opened the door, and walked straight up to my room. I sat on my bed staring at my mother's portrait.
I did the right thing. I grabbed the phone on my night stand and began to dial.
RingRingRing
'MoshiMoshi, Tsukishiro residence.'
'Yukito-san?'
'Sakura-chan? How are you?'
'I'm fine. Well you see I called because I need a favor.'
'Of course, Sakura what is it?'
Syaoran's POV
That's why she stopped talking to me. Because she loves another. I stared at myself intensely in the mirror. I need to be happy for her, because when you love someone you have to let them be happy right? Then why is it that inside it hurts so immensely. Why my heart seemed to shatter when she told me she was engaged to Tsukishiro-san. I remember when we were younger she always had a crush on him. How she would blush when she was around him. Is it wrong that I want her to feel that way about me? I guess I was destined to watch her from the sideline, but as long as I know I can see her smiling face I would still be okay with her being with someone else so intimately. But I don't understand why she stopped talking to me all these years, just because she loved another. She knew I would understand. I guess I just have to take the next best thing, being her friend.
I stared at the clock, 7:30 am time to get to school.
At School
I walked up to the Sakura tree, knowing that she would be there. I stared at the girl in front of me. So petite and fragile, her skin was pale, her long auburn hair draped her porcelain face. Her eyes closed peacefully. I reached out and brushed the hair from her face. Sakura eyes opened almost immediately revealing surprised emerald eyes. She was so beautiful, an innocent yet gorgeous aura always reflected in her. She was to me an angel, an angel that I could not have.
We both sat down under the tree, pink blossoms fluttering beautifully in the wind. I took her hand and held it lightly in mine.
"There's this place I really would like to show you."
She looked up her face still pale, yet there was a faint tinge of pink that made her glow with beauty slightly more.
"When and where?"
"After school. We'll meet here."
Sakura's POV
We were once again in his car. His attention still straight ahead. I couldn't help but stare at him, he was so handsome. He was a person truly mature for his age. His gaze on the road faltered as he turned and looked at me. I could feel my face turn red as I diverted my eyes towards the window. The car stopped in front of a deserted beach, Syaoran undid his tie and threw it into the back car seat as he opened the car door. (They were still in their school uniform.)
He opened my door and took my hand in his. We slowly retreated towards the ocean. The sky was illuminated with pink and orange clouds, the sun dipping far off into the sea. We sat in the sand, both staring at the sight before us.
"I use to come here with my dad," He began, his eyes resting on me. "I stopped after he left. But about a year ago I came back here, it's peaceful don't you think? I come here to think about everything."
I nodded slowly, still amazed at the calm ocean. We sat there in silence, staring out into the sea. I wish this moment would last forever, at least now I know before I depart from this earth I can rest in peace knowing that he truly loved me.
Syaoran's POV
Yes, this is the next best thing, being by her side. We sat there hand in hand as the sun slowly retreated from the sky leaving the once bright atmosphere a dark midnight blue. I glanced at the beauty next to me, her hair was wind blown, her uniform askew, and her eyes contently gazing out at the sea. A small smile was on her face as she turned slightly and looked up at me.
"Thank you." She whispered.
My mouth opened to ask why, but closed again as she rested her head on my shoulder, her eyes back on the ocean. If I could have one wish right now it would be for this moment to last forever. Time is really one of the biggest foe to humankind. Not having enough of it with my one love and best friend is what I fear most. Although I cannot spend this time on earth with her as lovers, I will still spend it afar admiring her and loving her.
Sakura was sleeping peacefully on my shoulder. Her soft breathing was music to my ears. I stood up gently and carried her in my arms. Her form was light and warm, she quickly adjusted in my arms snuggling closer as I brought her to the car.
The drive was quiet and slow as Sakura's sleeping form murmured.
"Syao-kun." Sakura murmured in her sleep.
"What is it Saku-chan?" I asked smiling when she said the name she used to call me.
"I'm sorry."
Why did she keep apologizing? I glanced at her sleeping form as I pulled up to her house. I carried her to the front door, laying a soft kiss on her forehead. I rang the door bell. I heard footsteps coming, when I heard a soft whisper.
"I love you Syao-kun."
My eyes quickly came down at the sleeping girl in my arms. "Sakur-" I began when the door opened.
"Hey. You guys are home." The voice said softly. "She fell asleep, how like Sakura."
I looked up to meet with a gray haired man in his early twenties. "Tsukishiro-san."
AN: Hey everyone chapter two finally finished. I'll have chapter 3 up in a couple of days, so please read and review. Okay, so for all of you that are confused, everything will be more clearly explained about Yukito and Sakura in the next chapter. I think this fic will only be 5-8 chapters long.
I will be posting up ch. 5 of the fic No More Pain really soon. Sorry for the person who likes fluff, cause in this story there is very little of it and I suggest you read another fic. Will Syao ever know why Sakura is different? Will they be together in the end? Will he know she truly loves him? Will he find out before she dies? Keep reading to find out. Flames accepted. Sorry for the grammar errors.
