A/N: This will be a funny funny cat story. I hope you all like cats, and if you don't, well, you'll probably enjoy the story anyway. Review, please! This first chapter will be written by me, CatJetRat, and the next will be written by Princesspepper. So, essentially, no one really knows what's going to happen. Fun, eh? Okay, so review! I hope y'all like this, and like humor! Adios, my pretties!
CatPrincess
(CatJetRat)
Chapter One: Potions Chaos
Harry's POV
"Potter and…Malfoy." Snape's ice-cold voice sliced through the dungeon classroom, jerking me roughly out of my daydreams of ice-cold pumpkin juice and lazy days on the Hogwarts grounds. I groaned as visions of the lake disappeared and were replaced by the dark dungeons and Snape's smirking face. Malfoy looked just about as happy with the pairing as I felt; with a growl in my throat my head fell forward onto the desk.
I sat up. "But, sir," I protested, hoping in vain that maybe I could convince Snape to change his mind. "Can't I just be paired with Hermione? She's just as good at Potions as Malfoy is."
"No, I don't think so, Potter," said Snape, his smirk widening. He seemed to enjoy watching my distress. "Granger is paired with Longbottom, whom I am loathe to admit needs help a lot more than you do. No, I think it is a perfect match."
My eyes narrowed, but there was nothing I could do. I was in Snape's N.E.W.T. Potions class, and to my, and I think everyone else's surprise (including himself), Neville was too. I heaved a sigh and, grabbing my bag, stalked over to Malfoy's table. He was determinedly not looking at me, and I ignored him too.
"Supplies are in the cupboard, instructions in the book, ingredients on the board. You have an hour and a half. Begin," Snape finished, swept over to his desk, and sat behind it, sneering at anyone who dared to look his way.
I reluctantly looked at Malfoy. "Well," I said. "We might as well get started."
"Okay," Malfoy muttered. "You can get the ingredients, and I'll read through the directions."
I nodded and walked over to the supply cabinet. Malfoy was being surprisingly docile, and wasn't even insulting me. I didn't understand why this was, but decided to be grateful. Malfoy was probably just tired and didn't want to pick a fight. It was almost certainly wise. Fudge was looking for any reason to have children of Death Eaters expelled from Hogwarts, and quite a few had already been kicked out, including Draco's cronies, Crabbe and Goyle. From what I knew, Malfoy now almost exclusively hung out with Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini.
I carefully collected the ingredients and walked back to table. "Okay," Malfoy said. "I'll brew the actual potion, but I want you to prepare the ingredients, okay?"
I nodded. Malfoy turned back to the book and began to read the instructions out loud. "Start with three pints of dragon's blood and five pickled toad's eggs…."
I began to tune out. I was extremely tired, having gone to an end-of summer Gryffindor party the night before, and also because I found Potions extremely dull. I was hungry too, since I had woken up late and hadn't had time for breakfast. I gazed absentmindedly at Malfoy's blinding white-blond hair.
"Let simmer for two minutes and forty-eight seconds, then add four—"
'I wonder what he would look like as a toad,' I thought idly.
"—hairs, and carefully stir three and quarter times clockwise—"
'Yeah, a big, blond, green toad! And then I could cook him—'
"Add sixteen beetle's eyes, and four crow's eyes, and heat to a boil, then stir in—"
'That's it, I could boil him! And he would make a nice, tasty snack. Or maybe I could roast him. Yeah, have a roasted toad to eat. Yum….'
"—And that's how you make a Blood-Replenishing Potion," Malfoy finished.
And serve him with a little garlic sauce...oh yeah….
"Potter! Are you even paying attention to me?" Malfoy snapped. I was yanked out of my daze.
"Yeah—of course I was," I mumbled, slightly confused.
"Then what did I say?"
"Um…add four crows eyes, heat to a boil, roast the blond toad and serve with some garlic sauce—"
"WHAT!" Malfoy exclaimed. "Roast the blond—oh you're hopeless. How you got into this class is beyond me. Just—prepare the ingredients."
I nodded and proceeded to do so, feeling slightly put out by his insults. We were about halfway through the potion when Snape's voice rang through the dungeon once more. "Draco, could you come up here for a moment?" Malfoy nodded and began to get up. He glanced back at me.
"I won't be long. Just…do the next few steps for me, okay?" I nodded. "And please do them right," he added. I rolled my eyes. Really, how incompetent did he think I was? I could handle a few steps. I saw Snape smile at Malfoy as he came up, which was always a scary experience, and then he bent close to Malfoy and started talking to him quietly. I began completing the next few steps of the Potion, keeping one eye on them at the same time.
'What could they be talking about?' I thought quizzically. I saw Snape put his left hand on the small of Malfoy's back and pull him closer, whispering urgently in his ear. 'I wonder if Snape has a crush on Malfoy, or something,' I thought idly. A horrible image suddenly came to my mind. I gave a little gasp, and shook my head trying to get that sordid image out of my thoughts.
Uh-oh. Snape and Malfoy had stopped talking, and I hastily grabbed a vial of something and began to pour it into the potion, trying to look innocent, as though I hadn't been trying to eavesdrop on them. I glanced up and saw Malfoy's eyes widen. "NO!" He shouted. "Not tiger hairs! Potter—STOP!" But it was too late. They had already begun falling into the Potion, and by the time Malfoy had run over to me and grabbed my wrist, they had already all fallen.
"YOU IMBECILE!" Malfoy shouted at me. "Now we have to start all over again! What in the hell were you thinking!" But I wasn't paying attention to him. Oh no. My attention was riveted on the Potion, which had begun to bubble.
"Um…" I stammered. "Malfoy…the potion…."
"Yes, I KNOW, you ruined it!" he shouted. I began to slowly back away from the potion, and so did everyone else, as they saw what I saw. Most fled the classroom, but Malfoy seemed unaware. His face was livid. I concluded that Snape didn't have a crush on Malfoy, judging by the fact that he had also escaped the classroom. We were the only ones left now.
"Potter! I swear I will make you pay! You will not sleep until you and I have made this potion again, correctly! And if you think—"
"Malfoy!" I shouted, interrupting him. "I'm only going to say this once: DUCK!" With that, I shouted "Protego!" As the shield charm flew up around me, Draco looked down into the potion, confused, and then it exploded in his face.
A/N: So what did y'all think? Good, or no? You know you want to review! I am hypnotizing you! You…are…getting…sleepy….On the count of three, you will be asleep….One…two…three. You are now asleep. When you wake up, you will review! You will also tell your friends to read this story and review. -Snaps fingers.- You are awake! R&R, y'all. Okay, I'm out! The next chapter will be written by Princesspepper. -Clap clap.- We all love Princesspepper! Okay, Adios!
CatPrincess
(CatJetRat)
