CF005: The Devil's From New Jersey?


One of the problems with living a long healthy life is that eventually, the people who were around when that life began gradually start to pass on to the next one. Parents, siblings, cousins, friends… No one is exempt from the whims of Father Time. Perhaps that was one positive thing to come out of not being particularly close to one's extended or immediate family. When the graveyard begins to fill up, you become somewhat numb to it all. At worst you may feel the grim specter of your own mortality creeping up on you, but the names on the tombstones might as well be strangers… Even when they share the same family name as you.

This was the position Stanford and Stanley Pines currently found themselves in. Neither had maintained particularly close ties with their family back east, both for uniquely differen't reasons. Ford by virtue of the combination of being separated by dimensions, and that general indifference and social awkwardness that sometimes comes standard to a lot of highly intelligent people. And for Stan well… Popular demand mostly, because he was Stan. He didn't exactly feel like he'd be welcome back in the old neighborhood.

The sentiment was a bit different when they received the news that their cousin Gloria had passed away. Neither had talked much with the woman in decades, but both brothers had actually been relatively close with her during their youth. Another simple 'condolences' card didn't feel appropriate this time around, so the brothers decided this was one funeral it would be worth making the trip to New Jersey for, seeing as this was someone that did still feel like family to them. There were…. Other ulterior motives for making the coast-to-coast flight that both brothers were varying degrees of remorseful for. Stanley had… Business to attend to, while Stanford was more interested in a recent spike in sightings of the infamous Jersey Devil.

The latter was certainly the reason Dipper and his little motley crew of amateur cryptid hunters had tagged along. Neither Dipper nor Mabel had ever even met their cousin Gloria, but Dipper decided paying their respects for a deceased relative was a fair trade if it meant getting the chance to sink his teeth into the Jersey Devil case…. And besides… This was the woman whose son he pretended to be not that long ago, so maybe he owed it to her. He'd be lying if he claimed he wasn't more interested in the supposedly mythological resident of the state of New Jersey, a strong indicator of that fact being the newspaper article he was currently reading. It featured a black-and-white photo of the backside of what appeared to be a large, winged creature

"I dunno dude…" Wendy mused from the seat next to Dipper. "Are you sure that isn't just a picture of a bat caught at a weird angle?"

"Awfully large for a bat don't you think?... Though to be fair, there really isn't anything else in the photograph to judge scale… Either way, the story itself is worth looking into. Four young children in the last three months alone have gone missing under mysterious circumstances… In other words, in close proximity to reported sightings of an alleged Jersey Devil type monster around the same time the kids disappeared. You know the local police aren't going to make that connection or even take it seriously if someone had, so somebody needs to look into it!"

"Can't say I know much about this Jersey Devil thing expect that he has his own hockey team named after him. I'm pretty sure I don't remember any stories of 'em whiskin' little kids away in the night though…"

"That would be because there hasn't been any until now," Stanford responded from the seat just in front of Wendy. "The Jersey Devil has always been an elusive creature that avoids contact with human beings. If this creature truly is beginning to prey on humans, it would prove a most alarming development indeed."

"Should the two of you really be so wrapped up in this Jersey Devil whatcha mafudge at a time like this? Especially you Dipper," Stan snarked, a smirk on his face. "I'd figure you'd be more distraught that your dear old mum just passed away!"

Stanford regarded his brother with a disapproving look. "Poor taste Stanley… Poor taste."

"A come on! The Gloria I knew would've loved that joke if she knew the circumstances and you know it!"

Ford shuffled through his memories of his cousin, a slight smile crossing his lips. "You're right of course… She probably would have."

"It's gona be weird…" Stan cleared his throat tepidly. "Being back after all these years… I think I was eight the last time I stepped foot in the Walnut Hill Synagogue."

Wendy tuned out the Stan's conversation at that point, her attention turning to Dipper, a slight blush of embarrassment on her face. "Dude, I've been meanin' to ask ya with all the talk of Jewish burial rights and stuff… You'd think I know this already since we've known each other for so long now, but are you and Mabel Jewish? Not tryin' to sound insensitive or anything, but I know you guys celebrate Christmas, so I guess I kind of assumed… You know…"

Dipper looked surprised by the question and had to fight not to laugh. "No we're not Jewish. Honestly, our family isn't overly religious at all, but we're technically Christian. No specific denomination, just the type that might show up to church every year for Easter or give up something for Lent once every five years or so…"

"The great candy fast of 2009…" Mabel shivered at the horrid memory. "Hold on a sec! I thought dad said we were a quarter Jewish?"

"Some people look at it that way yeah, but technically you can't be a percentage of a religion no matter how often Dad likes to joke about being a Half-Jew." Dipper looked back over at Wendy and smiled. "But if you want to look at it that way, I guess you could say we're a quarter Jewish. Dad's dad was Jewish, but the Pines family has never been overly observant…. Heck, you've met Stan and Ford, and they're his brothers we're talking about! Anyway, Grandpa married a Christian woman, and neither really forced religion onto dad, so I guess you can say he was never indoctrinated onto either side. Mom isn't exactly a religious zealot either, but she's more observant that dad, so he decided to convert for her when they got married since he really didn't care all that much to begin with. Honestly, this conversation is probably the longest I've ever really thought about it… Like I said, our family isn't particularly religious."

Mabel snorted from behind him. "At least it helps us remember which side of the family we're visiting based on which church we're being shamed for 'forsaking' or traditions we're failing to observe properly."

Still facing Dipper, Wendy's brow raised incredulously. "Seriously dude, your family gives you a hard time over this stuff?"

"It's not all that bad if I'm being honest," Dipper admitted sheepishly. "We'll occasionally get a hard time, usually from some of the older members of both respective sides of the family, but nothing too egregious. We did learn whose houses to avoid whenever our parents would go for a visit."

"You mean like Aunt Gemma's house? Funny how you almost always came down with a cold or had a big school project to work on whenever that trip came around," Mabel teased, before her attention turned to the young man seated next to her, who'd surprisingly chosen the window seat without even really thinking about… Mabel was so surprised, she couldn't bring herself to throw her usual fit over not getting that seat herself. Takura was currently staring out said window watching the world below him fly by at 40,000 feet, in apparent amazement. "You doing okay Takura? You're awfully quiet… Well, you're always quiet, but I thought you'd be more nervous flying considering what you're like in the car with me."

"Huh?" Takura turned his head away from the window as Mabel's question finally registered with him. "Oh right… Flying isn't all that objectionable I suppose… It hardly feels like we're even moving at all. It's quite differen't from riding in the car with you where I can feel the speed we're moving at and see every car and object you nearly crash into while you're weaving all over the road."

"Hey!" Mabel pouted cutely, while her brother and Wendy started to laugh in the row in front of her. She kicked the back of her brother's seat in recompense, before reclining back in her own and crossing her arms. She continued to sulk briefly before her thoughts drifted again. "Hey Dipper… Do you think Pacifica is doing alright? Now's about the time she was supposed to be visiting with Grunkle Ford's medium friend."

Dipper wanted to say she'd be fine, but as he thought about it, realized he couldn't. "It's hard to say… I've spoken to her a few times about it over the past week and well… I think it's safe to say she's finally accepted that she has a gift, but it's definitely one she'd gladly take back to the store and exchange if she only had the receipt… No, she's not taking things well at all."

"I feel bad… I promised I'd go with her for support, but then this whole funeral thing happened…"

"If it makes you feel any better, I think Pacifica secretly prefers it that way. Prefers to deal with this kind of stuff on her own I mean… Sometimes she comes to me to talk when she's desperate, but usually I'm the one who has to push to get her to open up about it. Unfortunately, Pacifica is going to have to come to terms with the fact that this ability of hers isn't a cold that's eventually going away. Hopefully, Miss Raven can help her with that…"


Dipper's directions brought Pacifica to the suburbs of Portland. She finally found the little shop she'd been hunting for after passing right by it twice… She decided that it wasn't her fault due to the shops lack of a prominent display to let you know where the hell the place was actually located. If you didn't already know where to find the shop, or turned into the parking lot by accident, you didn't have much hope unless you happened to stumble across it. The building didn't even resemble a regular store, but more like one of those residential homes the owner had fashioned into a commercial business.

"As the Raven Flies…" Pacifica muttered to herself as she read those words off the shop's window… When she'd first heard the name of the establishment, it took her a minute longer to get the reference than she cared to admit.

Now, Pacifica wasn't sure what to expect when she walked inside, so let's just say she was half right. The inside did actually look like a shop that appeared to be separated into two distinct halves… The half she expected, full of mystic and gypsy-like books and trinkets that focused heavily on fortune telling, folklore, and…. Well, let's just say if you were interested in the occult but wanted to keep it PG, this might've been the place for you. The other half had a distinctive Western/Native American setup, the walls lined with knickknacks, paintings of Native American warriors on horseback, dreamcatchers, beaded necklaces and windchimes, and wood carvings of buffalos and horses. Pacifica poked around looking helpless for a minute or two before finally gaining the attention of the dark-headed girl behind the register who, ironically, was reading a magazine while paying zero attention to the lone customer in the shop.

"Um… Excuse me… I'm here to see Miss Raven?"

The woman nodded, and with a half-smile, motioned for her to head down the hallway located just to the left of her counter. Pacifica paused only briefly before deciding not to question it and headed down the hall, only to take two steps forward before getting stopped by a balding grey-haired man. He was dressed in a suit that wouldn't have looked out-of-place on one of her parents servants. In this touristy little shop though, he certainly did.

"Umm, sorry, but I was told to go this way to see Miss Raven?"

The man's eyes widened in apparent confusion before a wry smile crossed his lips. "I see," he spoke in a British sounding accent. "Follow me then… I'll show you to my lady's office."

Pacifica noticed that the deeper into the building she went, the more it resembled your traditional residential home. She followed the slightly snooty appearing man, his hands clasped together behind his back, to a room that resembled a study near the back of the hall. "Please have a seat Miss, I'll notify Lady Raven that you've arrived."

"Thank… You…" He was gone from the room before she could even get the words out. Pacifica took a seat in the chair not located behind the desk, set up near the back of the small room. The heiress took in her surroundings, noting how the room didn't differ all that much from a couple of the law offices she'd visited during her short life… Except for the very much on display Native American décor that seemed to have spilled out from the shop and into the office, lining the walls and shelves of the study. Pacifica literally twiddled her thumbs nervously for another minute or two before someone else finally entered the room.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," said this someone as she fiddled with her long black hair, tied neatly into a braided ponytail that traveled all the way down her back. "Half of my appointments tend not to show up, so I usually play these things by ear… Plus your ten minutes late, so well…"

Pacifica watched wide-eyed as the woman sat down behind her desk. She hated to admit it, but when she heard she was going to be visiting with someone who classified themselves as a fortune teller, she was kind of expecting your stereotypical gypsy looking person like she'd seen in the movies. She certainly wasn't expecting to be meeting a relatively young and attractive woman, couldn't have been older than her late twenties, with high cheekbones and was noticeably… Well, not white. The blonde managed to recover enough to stammer, "Sorry, I had some trouble finding the place… You know, if you want to run a successful business here, you might want to consider some better advertising… Maybe at least a bigger sign to drawn in the customers? You almost have to accidently run across your shop to find it."

Pacifica found the smirk on Miss Raven's face to be… Difficult to decipher. It wasn't annoyed or condescending per se, but seemingly more amused than anything. "The lack of direct advertising for my little establishment is actually intentional. The shop itself is more of a little side venture than anything else. The real money is in well… The business you've come to see me for today, and for reasons I don't think I need to explain, I don't want just anybody wandering into my shop."

"I… Guess that makes sense…."

Raven's smirked broadened as her blonde guest continued to unconsciously question her very existence with her eyes. "Is there something troubling you? You seem confused by something. You were aware I was a woman correct?"

"Well yes, of course! It's just… When I saw all the Native American artifacts in the shop I wasn't expecting you to be… You know… An actual native? Oh god, I sound horrible don't I?!"

Raven's brow rose at the choice of the term 'native'. Her smirk remained, however. "Lakota mostly… And a little bit of Chinook for local authenticity if anybody asks."

"Oh… I don't recognize those names… So you're not…"

"The name of the tribes I represent hon… You do realize Native American is a catch all term, and not all tribes have the same customs and beliefs? Hell, most tribes never communicated or were even aware each other existed until they were forced into contact two centuries ago when… Well, I don't think that history lessons need's a retelling… Besides, you're a Northwest aren't you? I'd assume you'd be well aware of your families past dealings with the local indigenous peoples."

Pacifica blushed furiously at this, recalling well one of the many paintings she'd found hidden behind the walls of the former Northwest Manor. The poor girl had no idea that the veteran medium was simply messing with someone she considered to be an ignorant young kid. "I know it's not good… But I'm nothing like my predecessors! And I hope you don't hold that against me… I guess it's a good thing you're Native… I mean Lakotain? Then…" Pacifica laughed nervously as her brain threatened to short circuit. "I mean, your people have a special connection with the spiritual world right?... With your beliefs and all… Or traditions that is…" Pacifica lowered her head and decided to shut up before her mouth could do anymore damage.

"Gee, I don't know…" Raven replied playfully. "I'm pretty sure that whenever I go to Mass, discussing anything of a spiritual nature beyond the holy ghost is kind of frowned upon."

"Oh…" Yep that did it. She was definitely shutting up now. "My apologies, I didn't mean to assume…"

"That all indigenous people worship the trees and the sunset? Treat every blade of grass as sacred?" Raven was struggling to hold back her laughter, enjoying messing with the skinny rich girl perhaps a touch too much. As she watched the poor girl lower her head in sincere shame, Raven decided it was time to let up. "To be frank, I never delved too deeply into my heritage until I first recognized my gift… Much like you, I was searching for answers and assumed I might find them in the traditions of my people for many of the same reasons you did. While I might not practice or recognize my tribes customs or traditions, the experience did help me grow to appreciate and respect them… To embrace who my people once were. And yes, many Native tribes revered and even tried to connect themselves with nature and the spiritual world, so you're not entirely wrong there."

"That's wonderful!" Pacifica pounced on the opportunity to change the subject… Hopefully to something that didn't force her to reinsert her foot in her mouth. "So, I take it the merchandise you have for sale is authentic Lakota?"

"Some of it is… I also scraped as much together as I could to match the customs of the local indigenous people here in Oregon… Most of it though, is just the typical generic crap that your average tourist expects to find when they walk into one of these shops. Hey, if they want to blow their money on overpriced toy tomahawks, teepee lamps, and dreamcatchers and believe that they're buying something authentic because an actual Native American sold it to them, just because they think that's all our cultures are, why not take advantage of that ignorance?"

Pacific stared at the dark-haired woman for a moment in wonder. "Are you sure you aren't one of Stan's contacts rather than Ford's?"

"I'm just going to assume that's not some kind of veiled insult… Now, if I recall my conversation with Mr. Pines, you believe that your seeing spirits?"

"No, I know for a fact that I'm seeing ghosts… Not just see them, I can hear them speak to me… Sometimes they show me pieces of their past. Just recently I had one group of vindictive ghosts cause me to drive my car into a tree, and that same group later tried to trick me into committing arson. I'm pretty sure I've had at least two ghosts try to kill me now, and all because of my families past misdeeds, so there is no 'maybe' involved here. I can interact with the dead almost as naturally as I interact with you or any other living person."

Raven's eyes widened in surprise, sensing no deception in the girls words. The sudden disappearance of her initial awkwardness was telling in itself. "I see… Why don't you start from the beginning?"

Tell her story Pacifica did, and it wasn't a short one. She hadn't even gotten that deep yet before Raven understood exactly why Dipper had sent this girl her way. The blondes abilities seemed to far exceed even her own to an extent the professional seer wasn't sure how much she'd actually be able to help the girl, even though she was sadly still the best equipped for the job. "That's about it…" Pacifica sighed, displaying both relief and embarrassment. "Is what I described pretty much what you experience?"

"Similar, though not exactly like you… I mostly hear ghosts, speak to them…. I can sometimes see them in their spiritual forms, but they're almost always transparent or in shadow. I rarely see a fully formed ghost... It's only the really strong spirits I can see as you've described. Your ability seems to far exceed my own, so it's difficult to even gauge the extent of how superior it really is considering your admitted ignorance to the subject."

"Not that I expected it, but I guess that means you're not in possession of any sort of figurative magic elixir that's going to make these ghosts and the voices go away do you?"

"I'm afraid that doesn't exist my dear… Your gift isn't just something…"

Pacifica interrupted her with a snort. "There you go too… Why does everyone keep referring to being harassed constantly by dead people a gift?! Dipper, Mabel, even my dad even though he only cares because this 'talent' of mine might make the family some money! He even wants to put me on TV like one of those physic shows, though Dipper warned me they were mostly fake."

"He is correct… Nobody with our… Talent would so callously take advantage of the suffering of the dead and their loved ones only to advance their own image or for profit. Why do you think this shop was so hard to find? If you're not serious enough to find me, I'm not going to waste my time… I can understand why you might see your ability as more of a curse than a gift, it's not the easiest thing in the world to adjust too… It's nothing that you can ignore or just wish way either. The dead will always be a part of your life. Trying to pretend their presence is mere imagination would be like pretending the sun's out, so it mustn't be cold today. No, I can't unburden you of your ability, but what I can do is help you adjust to it… Make it so the voices and unfamiliar faces you see out of the corner of your eye are more of a mere nuisance, like a slight cough that won't quite go away. In other words, you need to normalize it in order to get your life back in order. You don't have to embrace it… You're not required to practice it... But you do have to learn to accept that this ability is a part of you now, and almost certainly will not be going away."

That wasn't quite the answer Pacifica was looking for, but that advice was far better than nothing. "And… You can help me do that?"

"I can certainly try," Raven smirked. "I'll be completely honest with you. I'd almost made up my mind to turn you down before we even met based almost entirely off your family history… But I can see the sincerity in your eyes hiding behind all that ignorance. Plus, your gift… I'm sorry, your talent is unique to anything I've ever really encountered before. I'd be doing my craft a disservice not to look into it further. I'm particularly curious as to how you were able to dispel the two spirts who tried to block your way during the office fire."

"What exactly do you mean by dispel? Dipper used that word too, but's he's always spouting that paranormal mumbo-jumbo I only half understand!"

"When you forced the spirts aside to allow you access to rescue your father. A spirt strong enough to fully manifest itself and form a barrier to impede the living can't simply be walked passed by just anyone. You were able to dispel that barrier and force your way through, temporarily displacing those ghosts visible forms while doing so…. You explained it as a strange energy that emanated from your body correct?"

"Something like that… Dipper compared it to an adrenaline rush if that helps at all… Is that not something you can do too?"

"I'm afraid I can't… In fact, you're the first person I've met, and only the second I've heard of who could. If we could figure out just how you were able to pull that off then maybe… Or I guess it is a possibility that it's an ability unique to you."

Pacifica opened her mouth to speak but got cut off by the sound of something rattling around in the hallway. Raven ignored it, while Pacifica couldn't help but divert her attention. "Is that your butler making all that noise?"

"Not possible… I don't have a butler. The young lady behind the counter of the shop is the only employee I have on staff."

"Okay… Then who was the bald British guy who escorted me to your office? He was dressed like a butler for sure…"

Raven's eyes widened in surprised, before a knowing smile spread across her lips. She knew for sure now that Pacifica Northwest was the real deal. "You mean you saw Winston?"

'"If that's the guy's name then yes… Why? Is there something special about Winston I don't know about?"

"Of course there is! Mostly that he's no longer among the living, and you're the first person besides myself to ever lay eyes on him. He's not just any incorporeal being however… He's actually my spirit guide."

"You're huh now?" she asked, tilting her head slightly like a curious puppy.

"Something that only those of us who truly can commune with the spirit world possess. It's how we're able to weed out actual sensitives from the phonies. A spirit guide is just that, a guide that attaches themselves and navigates you through this unfamiliar world. They're our connection between the living world and the dead… The fact that you were able to not only see, but even interact with Winston is well… Astonishing, and proves the validity of what you claim. Don't be surprised if you connect with a guide of your own in the near future."

"Wait?... So I'm going to have a middle-aged bald British guy following me around everywhere explaining all this ghost stuff to me?"

This moment… Might've been the hardest fight yet for Raven not to laugh. "No. Every guide takes a differen't form, usually that of an animal. There's no telling what yours might look like when you finally make contact."

"How will I know when I've met this guide?"

"You likely won't at first, but they'll become obvious over time. For example, a cat that seems to follow you home every day that nobody else notices and disappears the moment you walk through your front door. That will be your ultimate indicator for when you've met your guide, because no one but you will be able to see them except for possibly other sensitives and others that have strong connections to the spirit world. Don't expect your guide to be able to verbally communicate with you right away though. It will take a while for the two of you to understand one another. It took me nearly a year to make out anything Winston was saying as anything more than gargled nonsense… Nowadays, I can't get the old codger to shut up… He's quite the snarky one too."

"If I do, I kind of hope it is a cute little animal… I think I've had my fill of seeing dead people every time I look over my shoulder."

"If only it were so easy to be rid of them…" The sensitive sighed knowingly. "There's no telling what form your guide will take, there's no apparent rhyme nor reason to it… If one even chooses to attach themselves to you. Judging by how potent your ability appears to be, I have a hard time imagining you wouldn't… Now, what do you say we get down to business? I'd like to know more about your past experiences so I can gauge just how extensive you gi… Ability really is. The better I understand what you're going through, the better suited I'll be to help you… Cope…"

And get down to business they did. Ninety minutes later, Pacifica walked out of the shop feeling much better about herself than she had when she first walked in. For the first time in years, she felt like she'd spoken to someone who could truly relate to what she'd been experiencing, who could empathize with her in a way even Dipper couldn't offer. The day felt a little brighter as she climbed into her car.

From the branches of a nearby tree, Pacifica failed to notice the eyes of a pygmy owl that seemed to be strangely focused in on her.


Once the Pines Party touched down on the East Coast, nobody was really all that shocked to find that the fight to escape the airport was more grueling than the flight itself. After renting two cars to accommodate the large party, and a tongue lashing from Mabel towards Ford for renting a Jeep that was clearly intended to be used for monster hunting purposes… Mabel may never have met Cousin Gloria, but she did feel obligated to defend her honor from the men of her family who seemed less interested in mourning the loss of a family member, than they were in chasing cryptids or sneaking off to Atlantic City. After the airport, the party drove straight to the funeral home where the wake was being held. The group was surprised to find a young man standing at the entrance greeting mourners as they arrived… Of course the younger set of twins couldn't have put a name to a face of anyone from this neck of the woods if their lives depended on it, but even the Stans where completely befuddled as to who this man was. To be fair though, it was highly likely they'd be bumping into a lot of people that even they wouldn't be able to identify. The younger generations in particular.

"Hello there," the young man greeted in confusion, as unfamiliar with these new arrivals as they were with him. "Um, I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met… Are you here for the visitation?"

"Indeed we are young man," Ford answered for the group. "We're cousins of Gloria Redman, flown in from Oregon to pay our respects. I'm Stanford and this is my brother Stanley…"

The young man's face lit up with recognition. "Of course! The Pines Twins… Grandma used to tell me stories about the two of you. I'm glad you could make it!"

"It's the least we could do… I know we've failed to stay in touch as often as perhaps we should have, but we were actually quite close with you grandmother at one time um… Sorry I didn't catch your name?"

"Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet have I?! My name is Clint, it's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Likewise… Clint…" Ford's eyes widened as his brain caught up to his ears. Stan would be the one to voice their mutual surprise.

"Clint… Redman?"

"Yes, that is correct…" Clint paused, completely confused by why his name seemed to be of such interest to them. He was even more confused when the two Stans, and three of the younger people accompanying them, all turned to glare at a brown-haired young man that appeared just a few years younger than him. He turned red and shrugged, and that appeared to be the end of whatever the hell this was. "Why don't you folks head on inside?"

As soon as they were sure they were out of earshot of Clint, Dipper went on the defensive. "I swear I had no idea! Clint was literally just a name I thought sounded cool, so I went with it!"

"Will the real Clint Redman please stand up!" Stan snarked, as he put his arm around Dipper. "Ya know, I just picked up on another hole in your story kid. If you were Gloria's kid, she would've hada spit ya out when she was in her late fifties! Man, thinking back, I can't believe that story actually duped us!"

"It's possible to have kids at that age… And it's not like I had a lot of time to come up with an elaborate back story! I was just throwing crap against the wall to see what stuck… You'd think you two would know your own family better than that!"

Now that everyone had had a good laugh at Dipper's expense upon meeting the relative he believed he'd concocted in his own mind, Mabel pulled her brother and great-uncle Stanford to the side in order to read them the riot act one last time… Once again satiating that need to defend a relative she was barely aware existed until she found out she'd be attending her funeral. "Now listen up you two! We are currently at a *wake*. A visitation service for somebody's beloved mother, grandmother, sister or whatever! We're all going to behave ourselves and respect that fact! By respect, I mean nobody will be going around bugging people who are in mourning about whether or not they've seen some flying Devil monster creepin' around their backyard recently! Respect for the dead today, monster hunting tomorrow! Capeesh?!"

"Come on Mabel, I'm fully capable of behaving myself through the service! Interrogating anyone about the Jersey Devil sightings wasn't even a consideration…"

"I too, can rein in my scientific curiosity out of respect for my late cousin."

Dipper and Ford gave each other looks that conveyed that neither was buying what the other was saying, while simultaneously trying to avoid muttering 'shit' under their breaths.

Watching the exchange in amusement, Stan looked over at Wendy and whispered. "Twenty bucks says Poindexter cracks first."

"I'll take that action! Dip hasn't shut up about this Devil thing since he found out we were comin' to Jersey!"

The bet would end in a draw as both excitable paranormal investigators stunningly managed to behave themselves for the two hours they hung around the funeral home. Despite giving her relatives a hard time over respecting the dead, Mabel showed little shame in using the somber occasion to her advantage by cuddling up to Takura for 'emotional support' for a deceased woman whose death was pretty much Mabel's introduction to her very existence. Takura was unsure if he was more perturbed about her clinginess, or the various odd looks they were getting from the mourners.

The minute the group left the funeral home, the pair of long-suffering investigators insisted on hitting the field immediately… Which left the task of checking in to the hotel the group was staying at to Wendy, Mabel, and Stan… Takura tagging along with Dipper and Ford. Wendy couldn't help but wonder if he'd been so insistent on it in an attempt to get away from a mildly disgruntled Mabel. Not exactly thrilled with the arrangement, Mabel did have some fun checking in while pretending to be her brother… (Dipper and Takura were sharing a room, so technically one of them should've been there) She also got a small measure of revenge by flipping on the TV and using her brother's credit card to order him about a hundred bucks worth of… Um… Adult entertainment. Now, buying your brother porn wouldn't have been punishment for most guys, but Mabel knew her brother well enough to know that he'd absolutely die of embarrassment if Wendy or Pacifica ever noticed sweet innocent Dipper had a swath of naughty movies on his hotel bill.


While the other half of the team was taking care of the hotel accommodations, the rest of the crew hit the streets in search of any information they could gather on the recent rash of Jersey Devil sightings. The canvass led to a montage of doors slamming in their faces, peculiar looks, and middle fingers. New Jersey was a magical place. Dipper had to hold Takura back on two sperate occasions from severely mauling a couple of the more ornery locals. Occasionally, they would get a more colorful story…

"Yeah, I just saw the Dev's the other day," bragged a pale-skinned man with a thick mustache. "Flew right by house with a six-pack dangling from one of his claws! He looked me dead in the eyes, and I swear to God he said to me, hey! Say hello to your mom for me asshole!" The man punctuated the sentence with a double bird salute before angrily slamming the door of his car and speeding out of the parking lot of the convenience store. Dipper stared after him tiredly before sighing.

"I'm getting the feeling this is just how they so 'no' in New Jersey…"

Takura grunted in mild irritation. He still didn't quite understand why he couldn't use some of the more… Physical persuasion tactics he utilized back on Andorra whenever they were gathering intelligence. You know, like dangling some lowlife off the side of a cliff by his ankle until he coughed up the information you were looking for. Dipper didn't seem to think those methods would go over well on Earth for whatever reason. Takura didn't know, but he trusted Dipper's word on the subject.

"Having some trouble with the locals?" A feminine voice quipped, drawing groans from both of the boys. Dipper turned to see a grinning Wendy approaching, Mabel following close behind while sucking on a straw sticking out of an oversized drink cup.

"You could say that… When we're not getting cursed out, we're hearing stories so batshit crazy that I can't even begin to take the witnesses seriously… There doesn't seem to be much in between."

"Well dude, serves you right for running off to go investigatin' while leavin' the rest of us to literally carry your bags!"

"Maybe now that you have a pair of pretty girls on the scene, we can pump some actual information out of these people." Mabel boasted before a slight blush graced her cheeks. "Um… What's this Devil thing supposed to look like again?"

Dipper's eyes narrowed, causing his sister to sweat just a bit. "You compiled the case file Mabel… Which includes five or six photos and composite sketches of the creature… Are you telling me that you didn't even look over what you were putting inside?"

"Hey, I thought my job was just putting all the relevant documents you threw on my desk into the right folder!... You never mentioned actually having to read everything that goes inside… You realize that particular folder is as thick as an actual book right?"

"We're talking about literal pictures Mabel! You didn't have to read anything, you just… Oh never mind!" Dipper grumpily pulled out his cellphone and with one quick browser search late, pulled up the most famous image of the creature and showed it the girls, correctly assuming Wendy had slacked on her research as well. Both recoiled at the photo.

"What the frig?! I thought I was kidding when I'd call it the bat-horse thing, but that's actually what it looks like!"

"I dunno dude, I think the head looks more like a camel… Dip, are you sure this picture is real? This looks like somethin' a third grader would draw on accident when they were tryin' to draw a pterodactyl…"

"No… It's an artist rendition of what witnesses have claimed they've seen, regardless of how bizarre it looks… There's a theory that the Jersey Devil might be a misidentified Hammerhead Bat, and the resemblance to one of those bats and this sketch is uncanny…. The only problem is, those bats are native to Africa, and certainly not found patrolling the skies of New Jersey!"

"Umm, Dipper…" Takura interrupted abruptly. "Wasn't Leeds the name of that family in the story?"

"Well, at least one of you read the case file… Yes Takura, the story of Mother Leeds. Why?"

Takura didn't respond verbally, but Dipper followed his eyes up to the sign atop the convenience store they happened to be standing in front of. The lettering was worn and hard to read, but Dipper was definitely able to make out Leeds Corner Store. "Well, that's interesting… This might also explain some of the stupid looks we've been getting…"

"Why are the Leeds so important and what's the big deal with their mama?" Wendy asked, sweat dropping as Dipper's annoyed gaze was now focused on her. "What?"

"I already told you this story…" Dipper could see it in her eyes, so before Wendy could claim ignorance or that she'd simply forgotten, he was quick to finish… "On the plane ride over here…"

"Uh… Oh." A mild blush crossed Wendy's cheeks. It wasn't like she made it a habit of tuning Dipper out when he went into bard mode. She even enjoyed his stories for the most part, many of them were downright interesting. It was the kind of thing she had to be in the mood to listen too though, especially with Dipper's tendency to be long-winded and overdetailed, making otherwise interesting stories feel more like lectures from a very eccentric history teacher. When that happened, that's when Wendy would lose interest and zone out. The plane ride just happened to be one such occasion. Perhaps she should've been more attentive and professional seeing as the information being relayed had to do with her job, but unfortunately, Wendy hadn't quite come to grips yet with the idea that spook chasing, and monster hunting was actually her profession now. Something somebody was actually paying her to do. "Sorry… Guess my mind was on other things… Um, care to run the abridged version by me one more time."

"Alright… I'll keep it short since you and Mabel both seem to have the attention span of a moth… In the 1700's, there was a woman known only as Mother Leeds according to the story. She got pregnant with her 13th child and cursed it when she cried out that the child would be a devil. Sure enough, after the baby was born it grew hooves, a goat's head, bat wings, and a forked tale. The creature then supposedly flew out the chimney and into the Pine Barrens, and thus was born the legend as it's known today. So yeah, the Leeds name is pretty important to this case."

"The name of this store… It has to be a coincidence right?" Takura inquired. Dipper nodded his head in agreement.

"Probably just to capitalize on the local legend… We are on the outskirts of the Pine Barrens after all… There is a possibility that the owners could be descendants of the original family though. I do believe there are members of the Leeds family still residing in the area."

"Welp, it can't hurt to ask them can it bro?"

Dipper gave his sister another pointed look. "You clearly haven't spoken with many of the locals have you?"

The group didn't need any further convincing and went inside, entering what was essentially a small grocery store. While the others milled around unsure of exactly what they were supposed to be doing, Dipper headed straight towards the only person in the building who appeared to be working there. The man reading a newspaper behind the stores lone checkout counter. "Um, excuse me sir. The person who owns this establishment wouldn't happen to be present today would they?"

"You'd be speakin' to 'em," the man responded dispassionately, his Jersey accent perhaps being the thickest Dipper had heard yet. "Gotta issue with the merchandise kid?"

"No, I just wanted to compliment you on the name of the store. It's kind of clever, associating your store with the area's most infamous Urban Legend."

"Yeah, sure kid…. It was real clever of my gramps to stick his last name on the business he bought."

"Oh! So you are a member of that 'Leeds' family then? So the name of the store has nothing to do with the Jersey Devil legend?"

"You're joshing me right kid? Nah, I'm just putting you over! I'm a Leeds after all, so I gotta have the old devil chained up behind the shed in my backyard right? Listen, the point of this business is to make 'money' and put food on the table just like every other smuck in this town! If I didn't respect my pops and gramps so much, I would've changed the name of this place when I took over, that is if I knew every yahoo from here to California was gona walk into my store and refuse to shut up about that old wives tale…"

"We're yahoos from Oregon actually…"

The shop owners glare put on full display how many fucks he gave. "Well, ain't that swell for you kid! Now, you gona buy something, because if not, then there's the door!"

"Just a moment now! I promise I won't take up too much of your time, I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions about the Jersey Devil… Umm, Jerry…" Dipper said after reading the man's nametag. "Assuming you are descended from that same Leeds family from the legend…"

Jerry Leeds neither confirmed nor denied that particular detail. "Yeah, you think you're the first kook to waltz into my store wantin' to ask me questions about that bullshit? Save your breath kid, because I'm gona tell you the same thing I told the rest of 'em. I don't know nothing! If you wanna chase imaginary boogeymen around, then knock yourself out but leave me the hell out of it!"

"But Sir… We could really use your help! To be honest, we're more interested in the recent rash of disappearances of young children in the area. The ones linked directly to the recent rash of Jersey Devil sightings…"

Interestingly, the shop owner bristled at this information. Dipper would file that reaction away for later. "So folks are blamin' missing kids on the Jersey Devil now… Doesn't surprise me in the least. I bet he's the guy that hit that bank a couple of weeks back too! Look, even if the Jersey Devil did exist, which it doesn't, when have you ever heard of him gettin' violent or attackin' anybody, let alone kids! I'm assumin' you're some kind of big expert right? Well explain that to me then! After mindin' his own business for over 300 years, why's he suddenly makin' kids disappear? Absolute garbage theory!"

"Why did you refer to him as a he?" Dipper asked abruptly. "And why are you getting so defensive over a creature you've been so insistent doesn't exist?"

Jerry glared at the insolent little twerp, not pleased at all with having his words picked apart and analyzed like this kid was doing. Dipper feared he may have pressed one button too many. "I ain't gotta put up with this crap…. You open your ears and listen, because I'm not repeating myself again. If you ain't shopping, then get the hell out!"

Aside from the other three members of Dipper's crew, there were only two other potential customers inside the store, the pair having entered shortly after the crew did. A young girl of no more than sixteen dragging around a younger boy that had to have been at least half her age. In fact, the eldest of the duo seemed to be having trouble getting her younger counterpart to cooperate. "Todd, would you stop dragging your feet?! You've got to keep pace with me!"

"Can't we just go home Abbey? It's not like you're suddenly gona get brave enough to actually talk to one of them…"

"Oh I will, you just wait and see! I'm just trying to figure out exactly what to say is all…"

The girl jumped at the sound of somebody clearing their throat from directly behind her in aisle three. She whirled around to see the tall blonde guy staring down at her with cold suspicious eyes. Abbey's face turned as red as the beret she was wearing, and a slightly brighter shade than her short, orange-tinted hair. The man grumbled, "Is there something I can help you two with?"

Both kids fought off the sudden urge to wet themselves. "Uh… No sir! Just picking up some eggs for mom! Come on Todd, we don't want to keep her waiting."

"Told ya you'd chicken out," Todd whispered softly to her as he was dragged off.

"Oh, quiet you!"

"Gesh Takura, ease up will ya?" Mabel told him, feeling sorry for the duo currently fleeing from him like scolded puppies. "They were just kids, not spies for the Jersey Devil or anything."

"Where I come from, there were many elite spies that happened to be children. The ability to remain above suspicion made them invaluable… I called out those kids for a reason though. This is the fifth location in a row that Dipper and I have visited where those two have made an appearance. Clearly they're following us, though I couldn't imagine why…"

"Maybe they're lost or something, but they were afraid to ask for help from you because they got scared that the big scary guy was going to bite their heads off?"

Takura wasn't amused by her quip. He lost interest in retorting the moment he saw Dipper walking up to them while talking on his cellphone, Wendy following closely behind him. "Thanks Grunkle Ford, we'll meet you there shortly." Dipper ended the call and met the intent gaze of his friend and sister. "Looks like the Stan's have had more luck than we have and found some useful information at the library they want to share with us. We haven't been getting anywhere with our end of the investigation anyway, so I say we head over there."

"See, what did we tell ya dudes! Twenty minutes with us girls, and you already have a lead!"

The group soon left Leeds Corner Store, watched closely by two children who were conspicuously 'not' purchasing eggs. "Did you hear that Todd? They're going to the library… That'll be the perfect place to confront them and ask for their help!"

"You mean like every other place we've been too that's been the perfect spot?"

"Don't be a smart butt…" Abbey placed her hands on her brothers shoulders and kneeled down to his level. "I need you to get on board with me here Todd. Mom and dad won't listen to us, and I'm sure those cops are still laughing at us… If these guys are looking for the Jersey Devil, they may be the only hope for help that we've got!"

"I know but… They're strangers…"

"Believe me Todd, I'm nervous too, like you couldn't already tell… But we have to do something! You've seen that thing outside your window twice now, and they say that it's the third visit when the Devil takes you away… I promise I'm not going to let that happen, okay!"

With a tear in his eye, the little boy sniffled and nodded. "Okay…"

"There's my big guy! Now, what do you say we go to the library?"


"Whoa… That guy does not look like the sketch Dip showed us…" Wendy marveled at the picture in the local newspaper, showing a very differen't creature from the one she was already barely familiar with. The photo was blurry, because of course it was, but the differences were still visible. The batwings were there, but the tail appeared long and more serpentine rather than forked. The body appeared muscular, and rather than a horse or camel, the face was of closer appearance to that of a gargoyle.

"That caught my eye as well," said Ford, as he admired the slide. "This photograph doesn't display the traditional physical traits of the Jersey Devil I grew up researching. It's close but differs enough to make you wonder. Dipper, I've confirmed your initial suspicions to be correct. In five of the seven recent disappearances of young children, the missing lived in an area frighteningly close to reported sightings of this creature. Too close to dismiss this observation as a coincidence."

"Have you been able to make out a pattern in the attacks or centralize a search location maybe?"

"Well, I certainly gave it a shot," Ford sighed, as he pulled out a map from seemingly nowhere, and spread it out across the table the small group was centered around. It was a xeroxed copy of the local area, the top of the map dominated by the large, forested region that surrounded the town, and your standard street map on the bottom. Ford had the five disappearance cases that could be connected to the Jersey Devil sightings marked in red, and the two suspected yet unconfirmed cases marked in green. Even for the amateur sleuths, it was easy to tell that all the markers were pretty much on the borderline between the Pine Barrens and the nearest residential areas. "As you can see, all the disappearances have occurred within less than a mile of the Pine Barrens, which in itself is compelling… However, considering how spread out the incidents are, this creature clearly gets around…"

Dipper groaned. "Meaning, our search area is essentially still the entire forest…"

"Not an ideal situation is it? There is one other connection to this case I feel is worth looking into. It won't help us pinpoint the creatures den, but the information may prove invaluable." Ford return to the slides and flipped over to what appeared to be an obituary page for a local police officer. "This is Arthur Martinez… Several days ago, he was actually patrolling near the location where one of the children had reportedly gone missing and is quoted as claiming he encountered an unidentified flying creature near the scene. Sadly, he took ill soon after and passed away. While no official cause of death has been listed, rumors and just well-reasoned deduction points to death by poisoning… From an otherwise unknown toxin, which might explain why the authorities are being tight-lipped about the situation."

"So this flyin' freak is poisonous now?" Wendy complained.

"We need to be prepared just in case… Because of the suspicious nature of his death, thankfully Officer Martinez's body is still being housed at the local morgue. Apparently, Stanley has a connection with the coroner, and he's going to allow me to take a look at the body. That's what we'll be doing tomorrow night after the funeral."

"I guess that leaves the rest of us to keep trying to get leads on where to search," Dipper sighed as he rubbed at the back of his head. "Because that's gone really well so far…"

"Um… We might be able to help with that…" A young voice nervously squeaked. The crew turned to see a nervous looking teenaged girl staring at the floor, and an equally terrified looking younger boy.

"What a surprise, it's you two again…" Takura said gruffly. "You finally ready to explain why you've been following us?"

"I… Um… You're the guys investigating the Jersey Devil right?"

"Yes we are," Dipper replied softly as he approached the two kids. He noted that the smaller one in particular, his hair the same shade as his sisters, seemed less than thrilled to be there. "Are you kids interested in the story? Normally I'd be more than happy to entertain curious minds, but now isn't exactly the best time…"

"No, it's not that! Ugh, I'm sure you're not gona believe us either, nobody ever does! But… We've… We've seen it. The Devil thing… Well, my little brother here has. I saw it once, but only it's backside as it was flying away! Todd has seen him twice flying right outside his bedroom window!"

"You've actually seen the Jersey Devil close up?" Dipper leaned over and questioned the little boy excitedly, causing the nervous child to withdraw closer to his sister's side. "What did he look like? Big bat wings? Did it have hooves? A head like a horse or a camel?"

The boy looked very reluctant to respond, but after some encouragement from his sister, Todd finally answered with simple movements of his head. Yes to the batwings, and emphatic no's to the rest, confusing Dipper. Then it dawned on him to spring over to the projector and change the picture back to the slide with the blurry image of the Jersey Devil. "Is this what the creature looked like perhaps?" It took some coaxing, but he eventually convinced Todd to take a peek through the viewer. The boy immediately recoiled in fear and turned away from the viewer, quickly burying his face into his sister's midsection.

"I'm taking that as a yes," Dipper murmured, feeling slightly guilty for frightening the boy. "Wait, did you say he's seen him twice?"

"Yes sir, and that's the problem! According to the legend, the Devil visits you three times, and on the third visit, he'll whisk his victim away to his lair and then make a meal out of 'em!"

"That's… New… I'm not familiar with that part of the legend, and I've researched the Leeds Devil pretty extensively…"

"It is new… A story really only us kids know because it's happening to us, and the adults never listen! It started when a friend of mine from school said their cousin disappeared after getting visited three times by a flying monster… Then we found out that two of the other kids that went missing claimed that they all saw the same monster multiple times too! That's why we're so worried!... Todd's already been visited twice, so this next time might be the last time…"

"Have you children talked to your parents about this?" Ford asked as if this was the most obvious thing in the world, even though the situation certainly wasn't.

"Of course we did, but they didn't believe us! They think Todd's just making stories up for attention, and I'm apparently playing along! That's why we came to you when we heard you were looking into the Jersey Devil case… Hoping that maybe you'd hear us out when nobody else would. If you don't help us, I don't know who will!"

"Well, if you are telling us the truth, then you've definitely come to the right people!" Dipper laughed, before his grin quickly fled from his face when he noticed the trembling boy attached to his sister clearly was not on the same page.

"NO! I don't want their help Abbey! They're strangers! Please, I just wana go home…"

"But Todd! We can't do this by ourselves, and we don't have anybody else we can turn too!"

"I don't care! How are they gona to help me anyway?! That monster is gona come take me away, and there's nothing anyone can do about it!"

"Like hell there isn't." The siblings looked up, surprised to see the intimidating blonde man from the corner store standing over them. Todd appeared particularly fearful as Takura knelt down to talk to the boy on his level. "Your name was Todd wasn't it?"

The terrified boy failed to respond though he just couldn't bring himself to avert his eyes away from the scary man's gaze. Showing virtually no emotion, Takura placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I know you're frightened right now, but you know something? This monster will be just as afraid of me when I'm through with it, because I chew creeps like this up, grind their bones into dust, and spit them back out… All I need is help finding him… If you let us help you, I promise that monster won't lay a finger on you… Will you let us help you?"

Though still wary, the boys eyes shimmered, fully believing this scary man probably could beat up that mean monster if he wanted too. Finally, the boy gave a hesitant nod, bringing a smirk to Takura's face.

"Dude…" Wendy marveled. "Man, he made that kid change his tune quick, didn't he?"

Mabel was impressed too, but for differen't reasons. "Awe! He's good with kids too…"

"He'll never admit it, but he's actually quite fond of kids," Dipper told her, wearing a slight smile of his own. "Back on Andorra, there were a lot of children living at the refugee camp he called home… A lot of them were made orphans by the war, so Takura sympathized with them since he was one himself. He took it upon himself to look after them, and the kids loved him back in return. So yeah, he's always had a soft spot for the kiddos. Which is why I have no doubt he's taking the fact that this monster is targeting children very personally."

"Umm… I hate to be the downer here kids, but I think you're all forgettin' something," Stan interjected. "I'm all for helpin' the kids out, but we still gotta funeral to attend in the morning!"

"I think the safety of this child kind of supersedes the funeral Grunkle Stan…"

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean Cousin Gloria's life was any less important!" Mabel argued. "We still have an obligation…"

"I think everyone will understand when we explain to them we had to miss the funeral because we agreed to help out a couple of kids who believe they're under attack by the…" Dipper didn't finish that sentence upon realizing how absurd all that sounded. And how normal people would react to that news. "There's gotta be a way to juggle both…"

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Well duh, it's simple! Takura and I aren't family, so there's no reason we need to attend the funeral. The two of us can keep an eye on the kid tonight, and then we can come up with a more solid game plan when we meet up tomorrow afternoon!"

"Sounds fine to me," Takura agreed as he rose to his feet.

"That… Might work…" Dipper turned his attention to the kids. "And you two mentioned that your parents didn't believe your story correct?" Abbey nodded her head. "Which means it's probably not a good idea for us to just walk up to your front door and offer our services… Which means you two will probably have to go incognito and try to remain undetected while you keep an eye on Todd here. I know that won't be a problem for you Takura, and I doubt Wendy will have any issues either."

"None, whatsoever boss!" Wendy saluted, and Takura simply nodded in agreement.

"Just be sure to stay in contact if you come across anything interesting," Ford requested. "While Wendy and Takura escort the kids home, the rest of us should probably call it a night and head back to the hotel. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

End Part 1.


-The Gravity Falls crew have landed on the East Coast, and the hunt for the Jersey Devil is on! I have a bout 2-3 more chapters to go for this particular case, it just depends on how best I can find to divide 51 pages of content. Should be out soon depending on how long it takes me to finish my final edits.