Sorry that this post is a little late. I'd started it last night, but got writer's block and scrapped what I'd written up to that point. I figured I could just write it today.
I'd like to offer my sincerest gratitude to all of you who have reviewed this story so far – it has received more hits, faves, and reviews than any of my other stories here on FF for its length, and I'm really grateful. It's the good reviews that really drive authors to better themselves. Please help me out by reporting any plot holes you may see, spelling errors, grammatical confusion, or anything you feel like saying. Since posting chapter four, I've seen quite a few new names in regard to who is viewing this story, and I want it to be the best story that it can be for you guys.
Disclaimer: For the last time, I'm going to say this: I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS CHARACTERS. If you're one of those sadistic people who love to bug people about this kinda stuff, I hope you have horrible nightmares! (Note: no one has bugged me about this)
Enjoy.
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Kingdom Hearts: Nonexistence
5: Insubstantial Memory
.oOo.
Xigbar was quickly and warmly welcomed back by Vexen, Lexaeus, and Demyx as Axel and Zexion walked him into the round throne room. Smiles spread across their faces as the patch-eyed man stood and took a bow. Axel knew, however, that Xigbar couldn't remember a single one of them, and he would need someone to help him come back to being an Organization member.
Two other, unkind faces were also sitting in the room: Marluxia and Larxene were sitting in their respective thrones, sulking silently. Axel noticed the horridly cross look on Larxene's face as she stared him down. He merely grinned over at her as if he'd won some competition.
"It is a pleasure to have you back, Xigbar," Vexen said, spreading his arms out as he stood up. He descended to the floor, as did Lexaeus, to greet their Number Two in person.
"It's nice to be back," Xigbar said as he took Vexen's hands in a friendly handshake. "Now would you be so kind as to tell me where the hell I am?" he asked without a shake in his smile.
Vexen laughed more heartily than Axel had heard him speak since he'd arrived in this strange place. "Of course, of course. Someone will fill you in to help your memory resurface."
Xigbar nodded. "Good." He took a look up at the empty thrones. "Say, uh, is wunnathose mine?" he asked, pointing vaguely at the curving wall.
Vexen's lit up face continued to shine. "Yes, it is," he said with a smile. Axel nearly shuddered; Vexen smiling was a sight to see, but good or bad was still up in the air. Vexen had turned to point at the second throne. "That one there is yours," he said to their one-eyed friend.
Xigbar grinned up at the throne as if it were candy. He looked at Vexen's throne, two seats down. "And you're number four, right?" he asked.
Vexen nodded in response.
"Does that mean I'm your superior?" Xigbar asked, the excitement in his voice obvious to Axel.
Vexen nodded again. "It does, but until you have recovered your memory, I'm afraid that you will need to leave the decisions to me. After you have fully recovered, I will gladly pass leadership of the Organization off to you."
Axel heard a cough from behind him. Marluxia had caused it, and Axel's ears had seemed to pick up something similar to "Leader" in the cough. Larxene had begun to giggle quietly afterwards, and Axel was sure that his ears had not lied to him. The redhead's response was a smirk that none of the other Organization members took note of.
A thought then occurred to Axel. "So if Xigbar is number two," he began, "what does that make me?"
Zexion turned up to a throne not far from his own. Following his comrade's gaze, Axel saw the eighth throne. Something inside Axel seemed to click and he realized that it was, indeed, his throne. He suddenly felt embarrassed that he had asked. He felt ask if he should have known that the eighth throne was his since he arrived.
Axel concentrated on the throne and felt himself rising up to see it. He came to step upon the small platform in front of it and turned to face out at the rest of the room. Almost gingerly, Axel sat down in his throne. The voices of the Organization members below him drained from his ears and the room seemed to tower down beneath him. A strange sense of belonging seeped into Axel's entire being. This throne was his. It was where he was supposed to be.
Axel looked down upon the ivory floor. Instead of seeing the busy conversation between Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, and Xigbar, Axel saw a single boy in a black cloak. He had bright blue eyes and short, spiky blonde hair. He was very young – mid teens, from the looks of it. In his left hand was a strange black blade that seemed to shine with dangerous points. It was shaped very strangely, as if it were a giant –
Axel's eyes widened as he realized what he was staring at. The boy was carrying a Keyblade! But Sora was the Keybearer, not this kid! What was Axel seeing?
A sense of worry came over the redhead as a prominent figure appeared in the tallest throne in the room. He had long white hair draped down his back and a dark complexion. His eyes were entirely devoid of emotion and his face was stern. He stared down at the boy on the floor with that unwavering stare. It was a stare that the boy was not returning. Instead, hate seemed to radiate from the boy's form. His bright eyes were narrowed in anger and his lip was curled in a snarl. His grip on the Keyblade was tight and his entire body was shaking.
What is this I'm seeing? Axel asked himself. Instead of saying anything, he sat entirely still, hoping that something in this vision would explain it all for him.
"You can't be serious!" The boy's voice seemed to echo through the room as Axel realized that he wasn't actually there.
"I am entirely serious." The man in the tallest throne had a deep, menacing voice. Axel was surprised that such a voice could belong to such a man. "You are not allowed to see him."
The boy on the floor seemed to explode in rage, but he somehow contained his composure. He began pacing around the floor, taking glances up at the man in the throne. Axel took the silent moment as an opportunity to look around the other thrones. He saw several familiar faces, but only had names for two of them: Xigbar and Demyx were in their respective places, but the third, seventh, and tenth thrones were also filled. Axel felt that he should know their names, but not a single one came to mind. Defeated by his still-lacking memory, Axel turned back to the pacing boy.
"Why am I forbidden to meet him? I only want to know what he's like," the boy shouted.
"This is not the time for you to see your Other," Number One said, his face still completely stoic.
Other…"Then when is?" the boy cried. "I've come to you four times already, Xemnas, I don't think you're being fair with me!"
Number One, Xemnas, stood up at this and Axel saw his face contort into anger. His voice was loud and harsh, causing every face in the room except the boy's to cringe. "That is enough! I am the leader of this Organization, and you shall obey my command! Your Other is dangerous to both you and this Organization. You are not to see him! You see what he has done to our numbers. You know what he has done to us. There shall be no contact between the two of you! I forbid it!"
"Some leader," the boy countered. Axel was thrown back by the boy's determination. Xemnas had even made Axel jump by his shouts, but the boy seemed completely unshaken. "You sit in here as your people go out and die. When will it stop, Xemnas? Maybe I can stop the killing. Maybe he will listen to me. There has to be a better way!"
Axel felt a tinge of jealousy for the boy. He seemed so angry. His voice carried the hope of what he was saying. He…he seemed to have a heart.
But he doesn't. How is that possible?Xemnas' reply came in a deadly whisper that made everyone in the room, including the boy on the floor, to lean in to hear him. "You will do as you are instructed, Roxas."
Axel felt as if a truck had slammed into him. His head snapped around to look down at the boy, who was fuming silently. His face was turning red. His grip on the Keyblade tightened even further, if it were possible. Axel felt…sorry. Sorry for Roxas. But at the same time, the redhead felt something else in the vision. There was something else he hadn't noticed before.
Axel stood up and stepped out onto the small platform in front of his throne and turned around. As he had guessed, he was still sitting there, staring down at Roxas. His own eyes were filled with what seemed to be worry. Guilt. Something very influencial was running through Axel's head at that moment.
Don't worry, Roxas. You'll meet him some day. Just not today. Don't push Xemnas too much…
Axel turned and looked back down at Roxas, letting out an audible gasp as he saw the boy storming out of the room. Axel leapt down from his throne, but as soon as his feet lost contact with the platform, the familiar faces disappeared. Xemnas was gone, and Roxas' retreating form had vanished, replaced by the busybodies that were Axel's comrades in the afterlife.
Axel landed soundlessly, but not without acquiring the attention of the others in the room. He raised a hand to rub the back of his head with a nervous chuckle. He felt like an idiot.
"Is something wrong, Axel?" Vexen asked.
Axel hesitated. He wanted to know, but he was afraid to ask. Zexion had called the thirteenth member a traitor that hadn't deserved to live in Nonexistence. It was true, Axel had not seen which throne was Roxas', but something inside him told Axel that Roxas was indeed the most recent addition to the Organization.
"That throne belongs to the traitor that is no longer allowed here. We keep it as a reminder to each other that none of us can be trusted to our word, only by the word of the Superior." Zexion's words about the owner of the thirteenth throne rang in Axel's ears. He shouldn't bring up such a person to the others. Axel felt that it would only serve to upset at least one of them.
"Something's wrong," Larxene chimed. "What is it?" she called from her throne of number twelve.
Marluxia steepled his fingers and watched Axel carefully, which Axel could feel boring down on him. He glanced up at Marluxia, but quickly averted his gaze, as if he was worried that his eyes would convey his thoughts.
"No, don't worry about me," Axel said with a nervous chuckle. He waved his hands in front of him as if to try to dismiss the subject. "I need a little fresh air. I think I'm going to step out front for a few minutes. I won't go far," he added as soon as he saw Zexion's mouth begin to open. The blue-haired man seemed satisfied and turned to face Xigbar again.
Once outside the throne room, Axel breathed out a sigh of relief. One obstacle down. He needed some time to think. Axel concentrated on the desolate landscape of Nonexistence and a ring of fire appeared in front of him, just large enough for him to hop through. He knew where it led and he wanted to take it.
- - -
"You can't go against the Organization!""No one would miss me."
"I've got these icky orders to destroy you."
"Axel?"
"You remember now?"
"Y-Yeah…"
"The Roxas I know is long gone."
"You really do remember! I'm so touched."
"We're…best friends."
Seemingly random thoughts shot through Axel's head as he lay in the barren wasteland of Nonexistence, staring up at the blank white sky. The thoughts seemed to be quotes spoken by either himself or someone Axel was straining to remember. Blue eyes kept flashing in front of Axel's face, but the rest of the face wouldn't manifest for him.
Axel concentrated on the memory of the throne room's vision. Surely there had to be a clue there.
"You can't be serious!"
Axel's eyes shot wide open. The boy's voice was the same as the one who spoke the memories. Roxas was the missing person from Axel's memory!
Axel sat up quickly and gave a great laugh. He was so relieved to have pieced something together on his own.
Lying back down, however, Axel realized that something was still wrong. The feelings that he had felt during the vision of Roxas' hearing with Xemnas and the obvious attachment that Axel had to the quotes in his scattered memory were proof that Roxas was a very important person.
"We're…best friends."
The white sky seemed to dim and turn a bright amber color. Clouds lazily strolled across it. Confused, Axel sat up and looked around. He found himself sitting on the stone street of a busy little town. Buildings rose up on all sides of him and he could see down the hill a sort of event ring where people were milling about.
Axel made it to his feet in time to see one of the strange creatures that Sora had called on him back in the Castle That Is. Axel jumped back and readied himself to call his chakrams, but the redhead quickly realized that the creature wasn't interested in him at all. Instead, it and its brethren were very interested in a teenage blonde boy in a white blazer and baggy white pants. The boy stood in a ready stance, a simple Keyblade exactly like Sora's in his hand.
Roxas… Axel could see the boy clearly for who he was: a young boy named Roxas who had been very confused at the time.
Axel's eyes found themselves staring at himself, his chakrams at the ready, staring Roxas down. They seemed to be squaring off against each other.
"I remember…" Axel walked up to Roxas, who seemed to be frozen in place despite the fact that he was still blinking and breathing. Axel and the strange creatures were also moving, but frozen in time. Axel reached out to touch Roxas' shoulder, but his hand passed through the blonde's form.
"I was so happy when Roxas told me that we were best friends," Axel whispered. "I felt like part of me was finally coming back to make me whole. But then…I asked him…"
The forms regained their place in time, but it seemed to be different. The Keyblade and Axel's chakrams were nowhere in sight. Axel, unarmed, leaned forward, a smile on his face.
"That's great! But, uh, you know, gotta make sure an' all, so, uh…" He thought for a moment, then a great idea came to his mind.
"What's our boss's name?" he asked of Roxas, whose eyes filled with uncertainty. Axel's face drooped. "I can't believe this…"
Axel hung his head and turned away from the memory. "That hesitation destroyed every shred of hope I'd had at that point," he said quietly.
"Do you always talk to yourself?" an accented voice asked.
Axel turned around to see the barren outlands of Nonexistence again. But now he found that he was not alone. Instead, he was in the company of a blonde man with a goatee who wore a red cape and white robe. He had strange orange eyes and he seemed to know where he was, despite being so far away from the city.
"Who are you?" Axel growled, his chakrams appearing in his grasp.
The man, whose hands were locked behind his back, chuckled. "I am someone who may be able to help you."
Axel raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Says who?"
"Says Ansem the Wise."
The other eyebrow replaced the first one. "Who?"
The man sighed and nodded his head. "Ah, you wouldn't know me. We never met in person while we both lived."
Axel stood up straight and his chakrams disappeared. "You…you're not a Nobody," he said.
Ansem shook his head. "I am not. Therefore, I do not exist in Nonexistence. But I can help you. You see, I know who you are, Axel, and I know your relationship with the boy named Roxas."
Axel stepped back and his chakrams reappeared. "What do you know about Roxas?" he demanded, the flames he knew so well growing within him.
"Calm yourself," Ansem said sternly. "I mean you no ill will. I know that Roxas does not exist in Nonexistence because he was able to rejoin with his Other."
Axel hadn't heard this! "His Other? Who is his Other?"
"None other than the Keybearer known as Sora."
Another stagger backwards from the redheaded Organization member. "What? That's impossible!" he cried. "Roxas and I are friends! How could Sora be his Other?"
"I can explain it all in time, if you truly wish," Ansem replied, "but I can also arrange it so that you can ask him yourself."
Axel's chakrams disappeared again, the redhead's system flooding with adrenaline. His pulse was rushing. "You can do what, old man?"
Ansem's answer came in the same tone of voice as the rest of his conversation, but it still left its mark on Axel's ears. "I can send you back to the living world in order to speak with Roxas."
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DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN!
I have the next chapter planned out to be a doozy, so don't miss it, and don't forget to review! The next chappie will get here faster if you do.
Thanks, hope you enjoyed. Next chapter should be up ASAP.
