Key to a Forgotten Past
Disclaimer: -still doesn't own Fruits Basket- However, I do happen to have about 11 volumes worth of manga and 4 volumes of anime containing it.
Chapter 6: The Pink Ribbon
Kyou looked ahead at the barred window installed in the neko room, his eyes weary from lack of sunlight over the ages. A single beam of bright light tore through the opening, penetrating through the shadows. Through this window lay the only trace of refuge from this eternal abyss of darkness that he had took residence in for the past seven years – a portal between his and the outside worlds.
The neko room itself, was an ancient, desolate place. Its walls were mostly bare, with the exception of dried bloodstains smattered here and there, a mark of much struggle from each the cats of the zodiac that preceded Kyou. Aside from the small barred window in the back wall, no light escaped through its walls. It was furnished by a cold stone bed, which would have been impossible to sleep in if it weren't for the few worn rags that served as the blanket and pillow. The room had a terrible stench of decay, which had probably developed over the many centuries it had gone under kept. It could have made even the darkest, most inhospitable of prison cells look like a lavish palace.
Gazing out through the rusting bars, Kyou peered out through the small gaps in between bars at a single pink silk ribbon and the vague blur of a girl running far into the distance, her long brown hair flailing about in her dash. The ribbon shined magnificently in the lowering sun with a myriad of pigments, as it hung caught among the branches of a nearby shrub, maybe just barely within his reach from the window of the neko room. As he approached the window, he slid his worn hand in between two bars, reaching out for the pink ribbon by the smallest chance that he could retrieve it. However, despite his greatest efforts, the ribbon was too distant for him to touch, just barely beyond his reach.
He sighed deeply. Of course, what could he have been thinking? Tohru had always worn ribbons like this. They were so simple, yet in their simplicity, added grace and beauty to the girl whenever she would wear them in her long brown locks. But then again… she, too, was long out of reach, having slipped away from his grasp long ago. It seemed to him that almost an eternity had passed since he had seen her, although it had probably only been a couple of years. Even still, the days that he could see the girl cheerfully smiling back at him seemed to belong to another's life now, certainly not his own.
Gazing at the pink ribbon, he was suspended into the past in his reminiscence, longing for the days he could be by Tohru's side. Still, he did not forget that his place was within the walls of this room, where nothing but that single glimpse of the outside world could play solace to his helpless, tormented soul.
When I met you all those years ago… What made you so cheerful? Always, smiling back at me, as if nothing could make you unhappy… until…
In a flash, he recalled a scene of many years ago, out in the rain. Tohru's horrified expression spoke volumes, though no words came from her mouth. In contrast, it was Kyou who spoke, bitterly recounting his past and what he thought to be his involvement in the demise of the girl's dear mother. For he had the chance to save the one person most precious to Tohru, but abandoned what was right for the protection of his curse.No, it was better that he would have to be locked up like this. Neither Tohru, nor anybody else, would ever have to endure such pain and sorrow again…
…Putting myself before your mother… my own will before her life… no more could that be the case. I said what I had to say… I didn't want to see you cry, but at least now I can be punished for what I did to your mother… and you will never again have to feel the pain you felt that day…
He shifted his attention to revisit another recollection. About a week after he began his imprisonment, Kyou had received a visit from Akito, the God of the Zodiac. This first visit was to mirror that of many more to come. However, when the god slid through the sliding door that spring morning, he bore news of terrible events… terrible things the cat could not even begin to comprehend.
"That hideous girl – that monster – just had her memories erased yesterday…" God said to him that fateful morning. Kyou felt nothing but shock at this. That didn't seem like something Tohru would normally do, even under the current circumstances. Of course, whatever 'god' said went, in the mind of a jyuunishi. No doubt, though, he probably intervened in Tohru's decision…
"…are you happy? See, even the girl that you loved is disgusted by the mere memory of you. It's all your fault, you know, that she has to forget everything… Even to her, all you do is cause harm… But, after all… that's only one of the many reasons why you deserve to be here now… locked away like this…" Akito's mouth twisted into an evil grin, as he saw the torment strewn all over Kyou's face.
Kyou attempted to cut in, "Why you—!" He shot a sharp glare of hatred and defiance with his piercing, red eyes.
However, Akito continued onwards without interruption. "But, do not fret, my poor monster… Everything is going to be okay from now on. Within these walls, you can do no harm to anybody anymore. After all, it's not like there is anybody around here to cause harm to. And eventually, you will perish and be reconciled with your dead mother once more. Although… then again… what mother would ever want to see again the same monstrous creature that killed her?" He let out a hollow laugh, as he exited the room, leaving Kyou to his own devices, as he began to consider his true feelings on Tohru's memories being erased.
Since that day, even now when so many years had passed, Kyou had never again gone against any of Akito's decisions to further torment him in his imprisonment. He had given up. Akito had won… Kyou did deserve to be locked away like this and to be sheltered from all others. After all, it was his entire fault that Tohru's memory was erased, that his mother was dead… even that Tohru's mother was dead. All he had done was taken from others. He had done nothing to give anything in return.
Even you, Tohru… I couldn't protect. If anything, I should be here, so I do nothing else to harm you or anybody else… It's all over now, isn't it?
He gazed back at the pink ribbon, which still danced elegantly before him in the cool breeze, as it hung from the twigs of the shrub. He withdrew his hand away from the ribbon, and back through the bars of the window. Once again, Kyou returned to the darkest corner of the room, left to mull over his disgusting existence. After all, what else was there to do here, in the darkest of corners in which only a being as low as the cat could reside?
Suddenly, Kyou heard the unmistakable noise of distant footsteps start to approach from far down the hallway. Pitter-patter, they went, rapidly increasing in volume as they neared. Kyou figured that it might have been Akito, doing one of his "weekly visits" to remind the cat of how pitiful and miserable his life was. However, when the neko room door slid open, it was not a scowling Akito who came through, but Momiji, who wore a sweet smile on his face as he greeted the cat with a wave.
Kyou said, extremely disinterested in whatever the babbling blonde had to say, "Oh… it's you." He stared back at the wall again, beginning to ponder once more in his misery.
Momiji replied, slightly indignant, "Well… that's not a very nice way to greet somebody, now is it? But… maybe you should actually listen, because I think you might find what I have to say pretty interesting!"
Kyou peered up at the rabbit from his sitting position. "Okay… Say it and then leave me alone."
"No… you have to guess first!" Momiji laughed briefly, displaying a few remnants of his childlike personality.
Kyou could not suppress the urge to roll his eyes, as he replied with a warning look, "Don't waste my time… Just shut up and tell me." Unfortunately, Momiji never ceased to get on his nerves.
"Aw… Kyou is no fun!" Momiji whined teasingly. When he realized that he wasn't going to get a nice, irritated reaction out of Kyou after all the teasing, Momiji responded, "Okay, fine then… Have it your way. Anyway, so I had gone to talk to Papa at his work, and, as I was returning home, I decided to walk around for a bit in the main house. I didn't really have anything better to do, and since it's a Sunday, I could afford to take the time…"
Kyou interrupted, quickly losing the little patience he possessed, "And… your point?"
"Hold on… I'm getting to that…" Momiji added as a side remark. Quickly, he continued on with his recount of the day's events, "So… While I was walking, I had been lurking around the southern end of the compound. And… Kyou… you won't believe who I found there…!"
Kyou said, only half-interested in where this was going, "Let me guess… Kagura in one of her crying spells? But, then again, I haven't seen her for a few years now, so god knows, maybe she's actually gotten over the fact that I just can't love her the way she loves me…"
Momiji answered, shaking his head in response, "No… not her! Actually, I had come across this girl who had fainted on the floor… At the very first glance, I ran over to help her out – because she was really pretty out-of-it, and when I had gotten closely enough to see more clearly who it really was, she was very pale, with long brown hair put up in braids with two silky pink ribbons. I wondered if it could be Tohru, although kind of doubtful about it at first… After all, the last time she had been anywhere near the Sohma estate was seven years. And when the girl finally regained consciousness, my assumptions were correct… Kyou, Tohru was here! She's still around! Still around!"
Kyou's eyes widened for a brief moment, in total intrigue. For a brief moment, he felt a surge of happiness flow through his heart, but quickly, it faded back into sadness, as he lay back against the wall once more. Eyeing the ceiling above as he spoke, Kyou responded, "You shouldn't say things like that Momiji… I mean, it was all years and years ago when that happened… She's better off not getting involved with us Sohmas ever again…"
Momiji answered sadly, "Of course, I was sure you would say that… But I'm sure if she still remembered, she would love you the same as she always did… I still always believed that she would have been so much happier with your curse broken rather than mine. After all, she had wanted to prevent your imprisonment so much…"
Kyou answered darkly, "Stop it! Don't say things like that! That was a long time ago, Momiji. Sure, sometimes I, too, wish I could see her again. But even if I did – which will never happen since I'm stuck in this godforsaken place – it's not like she'll know who I am or anything. Her memories will never come back again… she'll never come back. Don't you see? It doesn't matter anymore – whether or not I'm locked up, so we can all just forget about ever being saved. After all, I kept lying to myself, hoping to be saved throughout my childhood… And did it happen? No, unless you count being locked up in the neko room for the rest of your life as salvation…"
Momiji looked back at Kyou, a much more serious expression on his face. "Is that really true, Kyou? Do you really think that?" He hesitated for a moment, considering whether it was really a good idea for him to argue so strongly against somebody with as bad of a temper as Kyou, but then continued on with even more determination, "I don't. I think that… somehow, someday… she will return to us and save us all from our ultimate fates… And, no matter how much you may say you don't care, Kyou… That day will certainly matter very much to you, too! If you just believe… it'll happen. I just know it!"
Kyou stared at Momiji, who, without another word, left the room. Shutting the door behind him softly, he slowly walked away, leaving the cat to his own devices once again.
Kyou turned his head, to look back towards the barred window. He again returned to it, seeing the pink ribbon. Since night had now fallen, no longer did the ribbon glimmer with many colors as it had in the setting sun. However, as it softly whisked about in the moonlight and the cool breeze, the ribbon's bright pink color remained prevalent.
Maybe… Momiji was actually right… Maybe there might a way, that you will finally return… Kyou reached out for the ribbon once more, hoping that somehow he would be able to catch it. Finally, he felt a tickle in his palm, as the silk lightly touched upon the surface of his skin. He wrapped his hands around the ribbon and tugged it away from the shrub, which rustled briefly in the wind. He pulled his hands through the bar, still holding on to the pink ribbon tightly, as he brought it closer to his heart. His eyes whelming in a few small tears of joy…
…Somewhere out there… a way that we'll finally be together, once more…
At that very moment, the wind picked up slightly. For a brief moment,Kyou was just barely able to hold on to the ribbon in his grasp. However, in the rising gust, it slipped from his hands and blew away, riding the path of the cool wind into the distance. As he gazed out into the dark night, he saw the ribbon dance through the breeze, contorting elegantly. All of this was done as if it was unable to grace its presence upon the cat, as it said its final farewell before plunging into the unknown, never to return again.
Neko's Rambling Corner Part 7: Chapter 6 already! Wow… it's been a while, hasn't it? This chapter was probably the easiest of all for me to write, being that my outline for it was so concise and detailed. I'm now sobbing my heart out, though… because the ending was so sad… But… at the very least, hopeful. I haven't needed to change the rating of this fanfic yet, because I managed to keep Kyou from saying any curse words this chapter. Also, there were a few minor spoilers (major spoilers won't come until much later on) in this chapter… they might confuse not-up-to-date readers. Don't worry about spoilers, though… chances are, unless you've read the spoilers, you will have no idea what the actual spoilers are in this fanfiction and what I've just made up for the purpose of this storyline. (However, there is a major spoiler from chapter 97 that I will not be able to avoid later on in this story, so please be careful!)
Anyway, first off, one question that I'm very glad somebody brought up: If Tohru remembered having lived at Shigure's house directly after her memory was erased, then wouldn't she remember a little bit about her living with the Sohmas (even if none of it is directly relating to the curse)? Very observant! -applauds- However, the real answer is a bit complicated, and refers to the prologue of this fic:
Basically, as Tohru describes in the prologue, her memories slowly become more obscured and distant, almost as if she is going away from them. This is because, I believe that Hatori basically does more of a "hypnotic" effect to people's memories, rather than truly erasing them. The effect is that every memory that Tohru had relating to the Sohmas could be suppressed slowly, so that they gradually went away as time went on. First, came the memories of the curse and all of the Sohmas outside of Shigure's house, which were erased immediately, but even still, she knew that she had been living with Yuki, Kyou and Shigure for some time before that (hence her referring to Yuki and Kyou the way that she did at the very beginning of the series right after her memory was erased in "Door to my Memories"). However, as time passes on, slowly these memories became suppressed as well. That being said, even now, she still remembers having lived with somebody else for a short time during high school… She just has no recollection of how significant this had been or who she was living with, and accepts the memory the way it is… Or, tries to anyway…
I'll try to answer more questions next chapter. As always, Neko loves reviews… it's nice to know when people are actually reading what you write. See you next time!
