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CHAPTER TEN

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The Gaians had accepted Caliko for the most part and her child was due in a few weeks. She actually really enjoyed herself in their company.

Lynx had grown on her lately. He had been so kind to her, although he still hadn't managed to build her a place of her own. Caliko shared a tree house with a married couple named Fox and Dove and their toddler Happiness. Lynx spent much of his spare time with Caliko, and both Dove, Fox, and the rest of tribe suspected his real reasons for being so slow in building Caliko a house. "You sure you aren't lonely there all alone in that treehouse, all by youself?" Fox would tease Lynx who would merely smile and keep about his work.

Lynx could no longer deny his feelings for Caliko. He knew they had been planted the first day he met her, and as if Caliko were the sun, those seeds soon took sprout and grew and grew with every moment he spent in her radiance. But even though Caliko had been nicer to Lynx, he was unsure if she was ready to embrace another realtionship. So he kept his feelings to himself, but he didn't deny himself her prescence. Every evening he would go to Fox and Dove's home and sit with her as the light grew dark. They would talk and laugh and sometimes Caliko would press his hand on her belly so he could feel the baby move.

Oh that baby! Lynx desperatly wished he were its father and not some stranger who had seemingly left Caliko to struggle on her own. He wished the wall she kept around her heart would crumble and he could take her into his arms and protect them both. But no matter how strong the urge to do so became, Lynx repsected Caliko's distance and kept things at a 'safe' level.

He was sitting beside her now, their breathe showing in the cooling evening air. Caliko had her hands full, trying desperatly to finish her sewing project in the failing light. "I brought you something." Lynx said, pulling a cloth-wrapped package from his coat.

Caliko looked at him, puzzled. "Why did you bring my something?" She took the package from Lynx's hand and started to untie the string around it.

"Well, its for the baby really, you'll need them, I'm sure, since the baby is going to be born in the winter." He leaned back against the steps he was sitting on.

Caliko opened the package and pulled out a tiny pair of fur mocasins."Oh, they're so cute! Where did you get them?"

":I made them." He replied with a smile of pride and satisfaction that she had liked them.

"You made them?" Caliko looked again, carefully this time, taking in the craftmanship. "It's unbelievable, they're just so tiny." Caliko looked at Lynx, then suddenly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Thank-you so much," she whispered, "You've been so kind to me." She let go, keeping her arms hung loosley over his shoulders. They stared at eachother.

Lynx couldn't hold himself back anymore, not when she was this close. He leaned towards her, keeping his eyes on hers, and gently kissed her lips.

Caliko felt the warmth of his mouth on hers. She stared in his brown eyes, caught, unable to make herself move back. Lynx released her lips but kept himself face to face with her, their foreheads nearly touching. "Can I kiss you again?" Caliko nodded, her hair falling across her face. Lynx gently brushed it away before kissing her again, this time a little more forcefully, his tongue nudging her lips to open. His hand slid from her face to her neck, holding her there as their tongues played against eachother. He pulled away, his other hand had found its way to her side. He felt the baby move under Caliko's flesh. He looked down, studying the mound. He ran his hand across it, feeling the hardness of it. He looked back up into Caliko's eyes. "I don't think I have to tell you, " He ran his hand from her stomache up to her shoulder and back down her arm with the back of his hand, "But I love you. I want to be with you. I want to be a father for your baby--" He professed, the words spilling, uncontrolled from his lips.

Caliko smiled and chuckled, letting her arms and body slip away from Lynx. "I...don't know what to say." She looked down, picking the mocasins up from where the lay between them. She let her hands run across the hide and into the mocasin itself, feeling the soft fur that lined it.

"Please say something." Lynx begged grabbing her hand and holding it in his.

"I swore --- I --- A long time ago," Caliko started, unable to get the words straight in her mind. "I decided I would never let a man hurt me again. I don't want to hurt anymore." She looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry." She looked away, removing her hand from his grip.

"I'll never hurt you." He grabbed for her hand again and reached up and turned her head back to his. "Give me a chance." He whispered.

Caliko stood up. "I should have stopped you when you first kissed me." She turned and headed up the steps. Over her shoulder she said, "You don't want me."

"Wait! Please!" Lynx quickly stood. He was a few steps below her now and her head was level with his. "I want more than a relationship with you." He started to reach for her, but this time stopped himself. "I just want to hold you, keep you safe. What I'm asking is for you to marry me."

Caliko spun around. "Marry you?"

He moved up the steps toward her. "Marry me and I swear Caliko, you'll never be scared and alone again. I'll be a good provider, I'll love that baby. I'll love you."

"Marry you..." Caliko tested the words. Playing with the thought. Yes, she had feelings for him, but she knew she could never fulfill a vital part of marriage... "I can't. I don't want sex. I don't know if I ever will. That's unfair."

"Sex? This isn't about sex, Caliko. I love you. I've loved you for a long time. If I wanted sex I wouldn't be asking you to marry me."

Caliko stared hard at the wooden step she stood on. He wanted to marry her. He loved her. Was he crazy? She thought back to her last marriage. She shuddered. "You have no idea what I have been through." She spoke quietly, closing her eyes, forcing the past from her thoughts.

"No, I don't, but I want to know. I want to understand your hurt and make it better if I can."

She looked into his eyes. "You'll never understand. I'm sorry, but I don't want this." Caliko turned and walked to the top of the stairs. "Thanks for the mocasins. Goodnight." She pushed open the door and shut Lynx out.