From the House to the School with Knives
A story of the staircase from hell
Sirius Black is in streak of bad luck in case you couldn't tell already, for you see my dear friends that as Sirius was leaving the scene of his last misadventure, Severus Snape suddenly became insane and decided to try and stab Sirius to death. For Snape now seemed to believe that Sirius was the source of all evil. Which, as we know, isn't completely untrue. Anyways, he now needed to get away from Snape or kill him. The only problem was there was no one who would in their right mind protect him from the maniac potions master, except Abi and he was still mad at Abi.
Abi was no longer at Katia's house though; she was now at Meghan's house having another sleepover with Meghan's sister Alli. So, the only thing for Sirius to do NOW was to go to Meghan's house or kill Snape (which really isn't an option if he doesn't want to get sent back to Azkaban). Then, Sirius did what any sensible person would do at that moment (no comment please), he ran like crazy to Meghan's house.
* * * *
Meanwhile, in Alli and Meghan's house Abi and Alli had just said good-bye to their other friend Mandy (she had slept over as well). Abi was busy grinding clumps of dirt into powder (why, you are not allowed to know yet, but I know). Alli was carving a stick with her pocketknife (see above note). Suddenly, Sirius burst through the front door (which is really on the side of the house, but that doesn't matter) followed closely by Snape who was flailing the knife around above his head.
"HELP ME ABI!" Sirius screamed as he ran in circles around the kitchen table. Apparently, Snape isn't smart enough to go the opposite direction and is still running behind Sirius.
"Help you?" Abi asked, a huge grin spreading across her face, "Alli? Did you hear what Sirius wants me to do?"
Alli nodded, grinning broadly as well. Then, they each grabbed one of Sirius's hands and dragged him off towards Crossroads (the middle school about a block from the house). Snape, of course, is still chasing after them.
* * * *
Oh by the way, before this vast scene of pandemonium Alli and Abi had escorted Mandy back home. Alli had suggested that they should schedule another sleepover. So Alli entered Mandy's house to check their calendar. Abi on the other hand, decided to rummage through the garage, looking for sharp, shiny objects. She was just about to give up when she found a scythe lying behind the dusty lawnmower (why she had a scythe in her garage is beyond me, but it's her house not mine, so who cares).
* * * *
Now then, where were we. Oh! Abi and Alli are dragging Sirius who is being chased by Snape to the middle school. In case you were curious there are now three different knives in this story Snape's dagger, Alli's pocketknife, and Abi's scythe.
When the reached Crossroads, the only door that was open was the side entrance that opened into the stairwell (yes, it's the one from the title). Alli dragged Sirius up the stairs and Abi stood at the foot of the stairs to block Snape. Snape holds his dagger up ready to stab her, but Abi pulls the scythe out of nowhere and swings it at Snape, chopping of his hand that held the dagger (which goes flying and vanishes into thin air).
"M-m-my hand!" Snape paused staring at his wrist.
"Luke. I am your father!" Abi said suddenly and her scythe turned into a red lightsaber.
* * * *
Meanwhile, somewhere in California, Arnold Schwarzenegger is watching Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back at the scene where Vader cuts off Luke's hand, when all of a sudden Darth Vader's lightsaber becomes a scythe.
"NO! MOMMY! THE EVIL SPACE ALIENS ARE RUINING MY FAVORITE MOVIE!" Arnold whined.
* * * *
"Noooooooo!" Snape screamed as a green lightsaber clattered to the ground. He dove for it and holding it in his other hand took a battle stance.
* * * *
Back in California, Arnold is even more upset about the disappearance of the green lightsaber and has been ranting for ten minutes.
"YOU STUPID, MEAN ALIEN PEOPLES! WHEN I'M GOVERNOR, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALL FIRED FROM YOUR JOBS! I'LL BE BACK! Popcorn. mmm."
* * * *
So, an epic battle ensues between Snape and Abi. Now, you might be wondering why Abi is Vader and Snape is Luke, well even if you're not, it is because Gryffindor is red and good, and Slytherin is green and bad. Plus, since this story really has nothing to do with Star Wars and it does have to do with Hogwarts, then the lightsaber colors make sense.
Snape battles Abi, pushing her up the stairs backwards. They are halfway up the stairs when Snape decides to JUMP out of the way of Abi's attack and forgetting that he's NOT Luke Skywalker and that he CAN'T use the Force to fly; crashes to the floor at the bottom of the staircase.
* * * *
Well, Snape was left in the nurses' office to be found on the first day of school (most likely still unconscious from the fall and lose of blood from his wrist). Sirius's butt was saved by Abi and Alli (see she did help him). Finally, Arnold's movie was saved because the various missing items returned (except for Han Solo, because he's locked in Sirius's old kennel) and Mandy got her scythe back (which she didn't even remember she had and Abi could have easily kept).
* * * * If you would like to know where Mrs. Starch got to, well, I DON'T KNOW! I'M JUST THE AUTHOR! I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* * * *
Hey! The alien's here!
{`-'}[~]
Lookie! He found my disclaimer!
Disclaimer: We do not own Sirius, Hogwarts, or any of the random HP characters who show up. We also do not own the various Star Wars paraphernalia that periodically appear out of nowhere (sorry Arnold). The only thing we own is basically Abi, Meghan, Katia, Alli, and Mrs. Starch, and the storyline (duh).
Thank you Mister Alien for finding my disclaimer.
{`-'}, "Gisgus'gin sidhognees!" (Translation- You're welcome)
A story of the staircase from hell
Sirius Black is in streak of bad luck in case you couldn't tell already, for you see my dear friends that as Sirius was leaving the scene of his last misadventure, Severus Snape suddenly became insane and decided to try and stab Sirius to death. For Snape now seemed to believe that Sirius was the source of all evil. Which, as we know, isn't completely untrue. Anyways, he now needed to get away from Snape or kill him. The only problem was there was no one who would in their right mind protect him from the maniac potions master, except Abi and he was still mad at Abi.
Abi was no longer at Katia's house though; she was now at Meghan's house having another sleepover with Meghan's sister Alli. So, the only thing for Sirius to do NOW was to go to Meghan's house or kill Snape (which really isn't an option if he doesn't want to get sent back to Azkaban). Then, Sirius did what any sensible person would do at that moment (no comment please), he ran like crazy to Meghan's house.
* * * *
Meanwhile, in Alli and Meghan's house Abi and Alli had just said good-bye to their other friend Mandy (she had slept over as well). Abi was busy grinding clumps of dirt into powder (why, you are not allowed to know yet, but I know). Alli was carving a stick with her pocketknife (see above note). Suddenly, Sirius burst through the front door (which is really on the side of the house, but that doesn't matter) followed closely by Snape who was flailing the knife around above his head.
"HELP ME ABI!" Sirius screamed as he ran in circles around the kitchen table. Apparently, Snape isn't smart enough to go the opposite direction and is still running behind Sirius.
"Help you?" Abi asked, a huge grin spreading across her face, "Alli? Did you hear what Sirius wants me to do?"
Alli nodded, grinning broadly as well. Then, they each grabbed one of Sirius's hands and dragged him off towards Crossroads (the middle school about a block from the house). Snape, of course, is still chasing after them.
* * * *
Oh by the way, before this vast scene of pandemonium Alli and Abi had escorted Mandy back home. Alli had suggested that they should schedule another sleepover. So Alli entered Mandy's house to check their calendar. Abi on the other hand, decided to rummage through the garage, looking for sharp, shiny objects. She was just about to give up when she found a scythe lying behind the dusty lawnmower (why she had a scythe in her garage is beyond me, but it's her house not mine, so who cares).
* * * *
Now then, where were we. Oh! Abi and Alli are dragging Sirius who is being chased by Snape to the middle school. In case you were curious there are now three different knives in this story Snape's dagger, Alli's pocketknife, and Abi's scythe.
When the reached Crossroads, the only door that was open was the side entrance that opened into the stairwell (yes, it's the one from the title). Alli dragged Sirius up the stairs and Abi stood at the foot of the stairs to block Snape. Snape holds his dagger up ready to stab her, but Abi pulls the scythe out of nowhere and swings it at Snape, chopping of his hand that held the dagger (which goes flying and vanishes into thin air).
"M-m-my hand!" Snape paused staring at his wrist.
"Luke. I am your father!" Abi said suddenly and her scythe turned into a red lightsaber.
* * * *
Meanwhile, somewhere in California, Arnold Schwarzenegger is watching Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back at the scene where Vader cuts off Luke's hand, when all of a sudden Darth Vader's lightsaber becomes a scythe.
"NO! MOMMY! THE EVIL SPACE ALIENS ARE RUINING MY FAVORITE MOVIE!" Arnold whined.
* * * *
"Noooooooo!" Snape screamed as a green lightsaber clattered to the ground. He dove for it and holding it in his other hand took a battle stance.
* * * *
Back in California, Arnold is even more upset about the disappearance of the green lightsaber and has been ranting for ten minutes.
"YOU STUPID, MEAN ALIEN PEOPLES! WHEN I'M GOVERNOR, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALL FIRED FROM YOUR JOBS! I'LL BE BACK! Popcorn. mmm."
* * * *
So, an epic battle ensues between Snape and Abi. Now, you might be wondering why Abi is Vader and Snape is Luke, well even if you're not, it is because Gryffindor is red and good, and Slytherin is green and bad. Plus, since this story really has nothing to do with Star Wars and it does have to do with Hogwarts, then the lightsaber colors make sense.
Snape battles Abi, pushing her up the stairs backwards. They are halfway up the stairs when Snape decides to JUMP out of the way of Abi's attack and forgetting that he's NOT Luke Skywalker and that he CAN'T use the Force to fly; crashes to the floor at the bottom of the staircase.
* * * *
Well, Snape was left in the nurses' office to be found on the first day of school (most likely still unconscious from the fall and lose of blood from his wrist). Sirius's butt was saved by Abi and Alli (see she did help him). Finally, Arnold's movie was saved because the various missing items returned (except for Han Solo, because he's locked in Sirius's old kennel) and Mandy got her scythe back (which she didn't even remember she had and Abi could have easily kept).
* * * * If you would like to know where Mrs. Starch got to, well, I DON'T KNOW! I'M JUST THE AUTHOR! I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* * * *
Hey! The alien's here!
{`-'}[~]
Lookie! He found my disclaimer!
Disclaimer: We do not own Sirius, Hogwarts, or any of the random HP characters who show up. We also do not own the various Star Wars paraphernalia that periodically appear out of nowhere (sorry Arnold). The only thing we own is basically Abi, Meghan, Katia, Alli, and Mrs. Starch, and the storyline (duh).
Thank you Mister Alien for finding my disclaimer.
{`-'}, "Gisgus'gin sidhognees!" (Translation- You're welcome)
