The Loss of One of Our Own

In which we see the death of the poor laptop, Jack.

Feudal Japan sounded like a great place… until you tasted the instant ramen. Which means Inuyasha has to wander hungrily around lot. The crazy half-dog demon was addicted to the wonderful noodles but had very little time… after all, he has to wreak havoc throughout the region. So he had to stick with the microwavable kind and, as established above, that stuff absolutely sucked. Which happened too literally one yucky Monday morning where Inuyasha had to choose between instant ramen and dirty spinach.

"Ugh!" he growled as he forked the slimy cold noodles into his mouth. Shippou grinned.

"I don't know what you're talking about, this stuff is yummy! I want more!"

At this point, Inuyasha would've retorted back about how Shippou was welcome to have his disgusting bowl… but then a sudden vortex appeared in the bowl. But that's not the scary part. The real scary part was the vortex was tie-dye.

"AHHHHH! I TOLD YOU THIS WAS ALIVE! IT BURNS!"

As Shippou scratched his head, wondering what was going on, Inuyasha disappeared into the bowl and the vortex disappeared. Shippou looked in the bowl, which was back to its slimy noodle state.
"Wonder where he went… hey, more ramen for me!"

And with that, Shippou slurped up the rest of Inuyasha's instant ramen nonchalantly.

Meanwhile, Inuyasha was tumbling down what was possibly the most colorful tunnel in the world, screaming at the top of his lungs. And then he fell on a large pile of…. ice cream? He immediately got up, feeling both scared for his life and utterly confused. It as a miracle he wasn't leaking any body fluids. Around him, people in dark robes were grinning evilly. It didn't help that they had weird machines all around the enormous room. Plus there was a weird black-and-white bird with bow.

"Hey, look! It's Inuyasha!" shouted Ari Powwel, who was surrounded by nine other people (her muses, of course… we can talk about them later).

"Gah?" said another girl named Addy (which was short for Adrasteia, which wasn't even her real name because her real name was Shruthi… but we'll get to that later too). Inuyasha paused to consider that "gah" in Japanese really meant, "is". This was freaking him out. First there was the nauseating instant ramen. Then, there was the tie-dye vortex of doom. But the stating of random Japanese words was just too much for this guy. Inuyasha drew out the Tetsusaiga from his scabbard and pointed it at the nearest object, which happened to be the innocent but expendable Jack (not Jack the pirate or the monkey, but Jack the laptop).

Meanwhile Sirius was really pissed off at Alli for destroying the world so he brought the world back and shunned her to death. Later that day, Remus Lupin showed up in search of his best friend Padfoot. Then, because of Alli's absence they decided to search her house for anything they could use as blackmail (Abi always gave blackmail about them to anyone who would pay for it). When they entered her room Sirius tripped over the mounds of clothes lying on her floor. "Shnizzlefits!" he shouted as his head collided with something hard and pointy. It was one of those magician boxes with the swords going through it (why she had a magic box in her room is another mystery we can add to the random object list). Before Remus could react he felt Sirius duck behind him.

"What scared you fraidy cat?" he sneered.

"That box moved," he wimpered completely oblivious to Remus' insult. Remus rolled his eyes as he went to open the box but jumped when he found none other than the famous Victor Krum trapped inside.

"What the bloody hell are you doing in there!" Remus shouted without thinking.

"Hermione trapped me in here," he said, "She has one sick mind."

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW" Sirius shouted from behind them. "That girl scares me as it is!"

"Yeah well that makes two of us… NOW WILL YOU GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Victor yelled. The two friends immediately proceeded to help the Quidditch player out of the tiny box. They couldn't help but notice that he had only one eyebrow.

Just as the trio had exited the mess known as Alli's room Shruthi apparated right in front of them.

"Hey, guys! What are you all doing here? It's so boring over here. Let's go somewhere interesting!" she exclaimed.

"Like…?" Victor snapped. He wasn't in a good mood, but I guess that's excusable, considering that he had spent more than six months in a box that was about one fourth his size.

"Well, how about Abi's house? There are always plenty of interesting things in Abi's house."

"Abi? Who's Abi?" Krum wondered irritably.

Sirius smiled an evil smile.

"A friend of Hermione's."

At the sound of Hermione's name poor Victor's face turned a loverly shade of forget-me-not blue.

"Nooooo!" he screamed. And the next thing everybody knew was that he was gone.

"Look what you've done!" Shruthi yelled. Sirius shrugged.

"I didn't really mean to scare him THAT badly. I didn't know he'd react this way to the sound of her name."

"You did too!"

"Well… ok, you're right, I did. But now he's gone, so let's enjoy the moment."

"Fine. We're going to Abi's house anyway," Shruthi decided.
"Awww, do we have to?" Sirius whined.

"We do."

And so they all went to 1 Rochelle where Abi lived.

Considering the fact that Abi is most usually found in her basement, they decided to look there. To their surprise, they didn't find her. Instead, what they saw was Katia conversing with what seemed like a large coconut from a distance. Being the rude jerks that they were, they decided to eavesdrop on Katia's conversation. To their surprise, she seemed to be calling the coconut Bob. Her voice was strangely evil-sounding.

"So, Bob," she was saying, "Anything new?"

"Not really."
"What of Mrs. Starch? Did she get restored?"

"I believe so. Only Draco, Harry, Snape, and the raccoons got incinerated."

"So… where would she be now?"

"I believe that currently she has set up an independent republic somewhere in the North Pole."

Katia looked impressed.

"Wow! In two days?"
"Yeah, well, she's like that, you know. She was born to be a dictator. Right now she is especially vicious because she still hasn't gotten over her loss… I mean, Snape. So she's taking it all out on the people."
"Wonderful, wonderful, she'll help us with our wonderful evil plan to take over the world."
Everyone who was eavesdropping let out a collective gasp. Stupid people! Hush! She'll hear you!

Katia turns her head.

Too late.

"Katia! Oh, Katia, you're not really going to take over the world, are you?" Shruthi sniffled.

"Katia? Who's Katia! I'm not Katia! I'm Xena! Ayyyyayayayayayayayayaya!"

Yelling thus, Katia began running around the room and doing cartwheels. Sirius and Shruthi eyed her skeptically.

"She must've eaten something unhealthy." Sirius suggested.

"Ramen… Probably."

"You dare insult me!" Ka--, I mean, Xena cried. "I shall overpower you!

So Katia charged at Remus armed with a rubber, ring Frisbee and a plastic sword with play-doh holding it together. With a tired sigh ("Not again") Remus took a calm, practiced step to the side and let Katia (NO IT'S XENA, DAMN IT, GET IT RIGHT!) ram into the wall behind him.

Sirius grabbed one of the pool cues from the wall and poked her with it to see if she was alive. Katia's behavior in response to the poking resembled that of freshly made jello. Then, she looked up at the top of the stairs and fainted.

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Abi was standing at the top off the stair with a very annoyed looking Harrison Ford who was dressed in a rather tight Han Solo costume that he probably never thought he'd see again in his life…

But that's another story...