AN: Standard disclaimer applies and I don't own Oscar the Grouch. I do, however, own the poem used. It's a love sonnet I wrote for a friend's English assignment. As always, enjoy and please review!
Shenanigans and Surprises: Layla
"Oh, come on, Warren. It'll be fun. You like fun," I reasoned. He was really a big softie, I knew; we just had to get him to feel sorry for Yuri and he'd be like putty in our hands. Muahahaha. Boys; once you get to know them, they do anything you say. And people said he and Will were the powerful ones. Silly fools.
"Hey, hey, hey," he raised his hands in protest and began backing away towards the living room. "Remember last time I pretended to date someone? Hmm?" He looked at me pointedly. Ahh, yes; the debacle.
Here, Yuri chuckled. She'd been told the story of homecoming many times, by many people, from many points of view. And, along with the Royal Pain thing, all of them included me asking Warren to take me to homecoming and thoroughly making a fool of myself.
"Okay," I defended, "you have to admit, it was a good plan. It totally would have worked." And it would have. If Will had taken Gwen and she hadn't been a psycho-bitch, he would have seen that Warren had stolen me away and been insanely jealous. That would have resulted in a somewhat anticlimactic showdown as Warren wasn't really interested in me, and I would have gotten my man. Ta-da!
"Yeah," he replied, snapping me out of 'Layla is great' land, "but I still had to go to the homecoming dance wearing a tux…which, incidentally, had to be dry-cleaned after everything that happened." Warren folded his arms and looked at me expectantly. But, surprisingly, the rebuttal came from Yuri.
"Oh, come on," she echoed. "You know I want to be a perpetually-out-of-work actress as my cover. This'll be good practice for me." She smiled sweetly.
Warren shook his head resolutely, leaning against the counter.
Yuri sighed and took a few steps back, looking him up and down, then raising an eyebrow. I wondered what tactic she was trying out.
"What?" he asked, irritated.
"You know. It's a wonder you're still single," she mused. If I'd been drinking anything, it would have ended up on someone's shirt.
He looked at her suspiciously. "Why?"
"Well," Yuri began stalking around him, eyeing him like a hawk. I tried to suppress the giggles. She was not trying to butter him up by feeding his male ego, was she? "Excuse the terrible pun, but, quite frankly, you're hott."
Oh. My. God. She was.
"What?" Warren spluttered. I bet no one had ever told him that to his face; he was just a little too temperamental for people to go around doing that. Despite his surprise, Warren attempted a recovery. "Hey, but your boyfriend…he, um…" he craned his neck to see the photograph Yuri had 'altered.' "He…um…he's a jock, isn't he? Lots of…um…muscles and…stuff," he finished sourly.
"Well yes, but," Yuri's voice took on a distinct purr as she walked firmly toward Warren and I tried not to crack up, "he's much too…clean-cut." She smiled up at him. "Maybe," she continued, even as Warren looked down at her in slight disgust, "I decided I wanted someone more…exciting." She grinned up at him, catching sight of his face (deer-in-the-headlights plus ohmigod-this-is-weird-and-gross), and broke down in a fit of laughter.
I soon joined her.
Will and Ethan, tired of waiting in the living room, poked their heads in the kitchen and gave each other a look. "What's going on in here?"
"Will, sweetheart, can you convince Warren here to pretend to have replaced Yuri's boyfriend when he comes over?" I asked, smiling hopefully up at him.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Yuri regain her composure and jump up on the counter while pointing herself at Warren and attempting to look as alluring as was possible in 'peppermint land' sweat pants and a black tank top prominently displaying Oscar the Grouch. Warren began edging away from the counter before shutting his eyes tightly and shaking his head. I almost felt sorry for him, but he was being difficult about 'the master plan.'
"Okay, look," he turned to Yuri, picking her up off the counter and setting her firmly back down on the kitchen tiles. Rubbing his temples, he looked at her. "If you stop doing that…that right there," he pointed at her as she batted her eyelashes, posing, "just stop that and I'll do whatever you want. It's just really," he shuddered, " really creepy."
Yuri stopped to think for a moment. On the one hand her (mock?) seduction act was 'creepy.' On the other, she now had an accomplice in dealing with her sleazy soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. And she'd found a new way to annoy Warren in the process. The pros outweighed the cons.
Ceasing her act, she smiled genuinely. "I knew you'd see things my way."
Taking control of the situation, I shooed them both out of the kitchen and proceeded to pose them on the couch.
"When is your boyfriend going to be here?" I asked Yuri as I sat her on Warren's lap and scooped the books on the couch up, placing them on the coffee table to make more space.
"Lisa said she saw him walking over when she called. So, probably ten minutes or so," she replied as I fixed Warren's arms securely around her waist. Actually, he wasn't taking it too badly. He seemed resigned to the fact that he was, and would always be, the surrogate boyfriend. Anyway, he should have at least been flattered. I assumed most boys would be pleased that they were acceptable enough to be called upon for an emergency date.
"That's good," I stepped back to admire my handiwork. It was so awkward, it was cute. Warren being, well…Warren. And then petite little Yuri with her straight-laced etiquette. Of course, Warren could be a gentleman and Yuri did act less ladylike at times, but not all that often. "Just…act cuddly," I said to Warren, holding back a laugh as he glared at me.
Will and Ethan, watching curiously from the kitchen, both chuckled at the thought of Warren being 'cuddly' as I walked back over to them.
"How are they going to stay like that if they need to answer the door?" Ethan asked. I mentally kicked myself; damn, and they look so adorable too.
"Well, usually Nicholas knocks once and walks right on in," Yuri explained. Aah, that's good.
"Oh, okay, so-" I cut my boyfriend off as I dragged him and Ethan back to the kitchen. "Where are we going?"
"Well," I said, "you can't expect anything to happen if we're in the room, can you?"
Neither boy had an answer and we strategically arranged ourselves so we could see and hear after closing the kitchen door. Ethan did his puddle routine and called the crack under the door. I peeped through the keyhole and Will flew up to the hole in the wall opposite the picture Yuri had put a laser through.
Then, we waited. Warren whispered something in Yuri's ear and she giggled. Aww.
A knock on the door was soon followed by a boy stepping into the living room and Yuri was not lying when she said he was clean-cut. He wasn't a captain-of-the-football-team type, more of a captain-of-the-swim-team with short, honey-blonde hair and aquamarine eyes to Warren's longer red-streaked locks and matching dark eyes. I was also sure this Nicholas didn't have any tattoos under the jeans and light blue sweater.
Yuri looked up at the intruder while Warren's eyes made the slow trip, craning his head from his position, kneeling over her on the couch. Both boys stared at each other for a moment, sizing up the competition.
Finally, someone broke the silence.
"Who the hell are you?"
The words lingered in the air and Will, Ethan, and I tensed, waiting for the reaction.
"Who the hell am I?" Warren sat up. "Who the hell are you?"
Nicholas crossed his arms. "I'm Yuri's boyfriend and I'm also wondering what you're doing on top of my girlfriend."
I give Warren a lot of credit. He looked thoroughly surprised as he turned to Yuri, bending down again to her eye level, and sounding like his favorite dog had died, "Baby, is that true?"
Yuri smiled gently and removed Warren's hands from her waist, kissing his cheek lightly as she stood. "No." Turning, she placed her hands on her hips, "Nick, what are you doing here?"
His eyes narrowed. "I'm here to see you," he all but growled, stepping forward.
Warren stood immediately, placing his hands on Yuri's shoulders. "Well, it doesn't look like she wants your company, does it?"
"Yuri, what the fuck is going on?" asked Nicholas, eyeing Warren murderously.
"Well," she began hotly, "Lisa called. She told me you'd all been at Ocean's last week and, when she came up and asked what you were doing, you replied 'Hitting on some skanks.'" Yuri smiled sweetly. "When she followed with the question 'What about Yuri?', you replied, 'Don't worry, I'm sure she's getting her flirt on at whatever private school she's going to now.'" After waiting a moment to let her comments sink in, Yuri continued, "I gathered that, after this revelation, we were in a somewhat 'open' relationship." Then she added, for good measure, "And I have not been 'getting my flirt on.'"
I couldn't help pumping my fist in the air and hissing a quiet "Yes!" at her statement.
"What, so you picked up a…" Nick looked at Warren, "high-school-dropout?"
Yuri turned quickly, pulling Warren's hands down. From my vantage point, I could see his fingertips blazing slightly.
"Warren is not a high-school-dropout," she stated resolutely, then sighed. "What do you want?"
"You," he fixed her with a firm stare.
"Hey, you had your chance, man," Warren cut in, extinguishing his hands and walking forward to stand in front of Yuri. "You blew it."
Ignoring him, Nick went on, "He drives a motorcycle for Pete's sake. And don't say he doesn't; I saw it in the driveway."
Yuri mumbled something I couldn't hear and Warren raised an eyebrow, high.
"Yeah, see how hott it is when he kills you on it; it's on the news all the time."
"Shut up and leave, Nicholas." Yuri stepped forward, skirting the coffee table. Nick's eyes followed her hands, his gaze lingering on the papers and textbooks strewn about, and he smirked.
Nick picked up one of the many sheets of folder paper and Warren, knowing something I guessed we didn't, lunged for him. Yuri only just managed to grab the sleeve of his jacket, "Warren, don't!" She pulled him back firmly. "Don't."
"That's mine," he growled, tugging his jacket out of Yuri's hands and glaring at Nick who was skimming over whatever was on it.
"'For love the tongue or pen have not the words'," Nick began, comically, "'Like silver such that lights the velvet night. Like silk her verse which spoken can be heard, And on the wings of love take love's first flight'." He finished with a flourish and a bark of laughter.
"You're saying it all wrong," Warren grumbled; snatching the paper away from Nick who collapsed on the couch, still guffawing.
"I can't believe you're dating a pouf," the blonde snickered.
Yuri caught hold of Warren's hands again and threw the kitchen a glare. Oops. "He's not-"
"Come on, come on, do the rest if I was 'reading it wrong'," Nick ignored her, speaking to Warren and sniggering.
For a minute, I was afraid Warren was going to blow Yuri's apartment to Sky High. Then, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, his gaze lingered on Yuri, her petite frame obviously tense. "I didn't want to give it to you like this," he murmured, looking down at her, brushing the backs of his fingers down her cheek as she jumped, surprised. I couldn't help the slow, giddy smile from spreading across my face. I sighed; it was so sweet.
"'For love, the tongue or pen have not the words,
Like silver, such that lights the velvet night.
Like silk, her verse which spoken, can be heard,
And on the wings of love, take love's first flight'."
He spoke softly, gently, soothingly, taking Yuri's hand and running his thumb over her knuckles.
"'Such eyes, the depth of which reflect the soul,
And so reflects the flame of love within,
And flame of love which sears to make one whole,
Partake of such a love, 'tis not a sin'."
Setting the sheet on the table, Warren continued; his low, smooth voice flowing like water on rocks. Yuri looked (all fourteen inches) up to his eyes, completely in awe as he continued.
"'To part shall tug the heartstrings ever taut,
And just to meet again relieves the ache.
And for such love, through lifetimes I have sought
And cherish it for fear that it would break'."
I noticed Nicholas seething as Warren's voice took us all away. Bending closer to Yuri, murmuring in her ear. I couldn't help a small 'aww' as she leaned into him, closing her eyes with a lazy smile on her lips.
"' So whisper on the wind to me a song
That says you, too, will love me ever long'."
He finished, searching her face for some sort of approval.
Reaching up, Yuri brushed a few stray hairs out of Warren's face, tucking them gently behind his ear. The slow, charming smile I'd only seen once before, when he lit me a candle at the Paper Lantern, appeared on his face. Standing on her tip-toes, Yuri brushed Warren's cheeks with her lips, smiling back, eyes shining.
A fuming Nicholas pushed past them. Turning sharply, he glared at Warren. "You haven't won her yet, Shakespeare," he seethed vehemently. Then, looking at Yuri, his voice softened, hurt, "You'll see. When he almost kills you on that bike, or gets you high at a rave, you'll see. Nice girls never stay with the bad boys." Giving Warren another long, cold stare, he strode briskly from the room.
In a few moments, the front door slammed shut.
Will, Ethan, and I all burst out of the kitchen.
"Warren Peace," I declared, "did you write that?"
Looking sheepish for the first time I'd ever seen, he nodded. "Ms. Davis assigned a love poem as homework last week," he explained, trying to shrug it off.
Yuri was looking at him, amused. "Well, who knew?" she chuckled. "Warren, you are a man of many secrets. Budding poet being one of them." She tugged his hair playfully, a weak smile crossing her face.
I elbowed Will in the side and nodded my head in the direction of the other boys. He quickly grabbed Ethan and Warren, ushering them to the kitchen to 'see how the food was doing', leaving me to see how Yuri would be doing.
"You okay?" I asked her as we sat on the couch.
She smiled sadly at me, shrugging. "I guess." Glancing at the kitchen and realizing the boys would take care of the chicken, Yuri sighed; studying her fingernails, she said, to no one in particular, "I was sweet sixteen when he first asked me out."
I laughed softly. "Sweet sixteen and never been kissed?"
Yuri nodded wryly. "My birthday was in April. We started dating in May." Sighing again, she looked over at the now-graffiti-ed prom picture. "I suppose…I suppose it's for the best. You have to keep your eye on boys like him; he was such a catch from close up. Now…" she waved her hands. "It doesn't matter. Let's go see how those boys are doing."
Taking this as my cue to stop, I followed her to the kitchen.
Well. Thank you for reading chapter the third one. Did anyone catch the X2(which I don't own either) reference? If you did, kudos! You win! Thank-yous go to rootbeergirl19, Moontrimmer, and Off Dreaming. I'm glad I could make you all laugh. And Yuri's former high school is named after the high school half the other kids from the middle school I went to were sent (there were two; I went to one and it's named after the other one). That sounds confusing. It is; I'm sorry.
Please leave me a nice fat and juicy review…because I'm a college student and that means not much money for nice, pretty things. Therefore, reviews make me feel like a million bucks (that I wish I could stick into my bank account).
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Love, SeraphStar
