Author's Note: Welcome to chapter 8! Thank you again for your continued support.
It took him all night, near enough, but he had it all planned out at long last.
When they reached Carlingford, he would work out a way to get them from the train station to the old cottage on Ruadhán's land and then he would leave her to unpack while he went and signed on to work in one of the nearby mines or coal pits. Ruadhán wasn't going to mind them turning up at the house uninvited and making themselves at home, he doubted, not when he'd succumbed to diphtheria some years and thus no longer had a use for it, so there was no need for him to worry about that. As for being taken on, he'd thought that through too and he would be given a job on the spot once he got around to explaining their unfortunate circumstances.
Who would turn away a man who had recently been given the sack and lost everything – through no fault of his own – and was now looking for a little bit of work just to provide for his ill young wife in the family way?
Only the coldest hearted wretch, that was who.
He would tell her that Ruadhán was reluctant to let him leave when he came through the door late each night, knowing she would understand and tell him not to worry himself about it because he was doing a good deed, and each Sunday he would have to take himself out for a couple hours. He would go for a wander around the town, maybe have a drink or two in the public house to get to know the locals, and then he would head home with the excuse that Ruadhán started to feel tired and so he left him to get some rest. It was a tale that he was going to have to spin for quite some time and it would wear him out, but he had no choice. It had to be done.
When he felt her start to move in his arms with a gentle sound of complaint, he glanced her way and watched her nuzzle her cheek against his shoulder for a moment while she stirred before her eyes slowly blinked open. It was clear she was unaware as to why she was for a brief period, but then she tilted her head back to look at him and a small smile graced her features as she brought the hand that was holding onto his jumper to rest on his chest. "I hope you managed to get at least an hour last night," She said, her voice rather hoarse from sleep. "You're going to be dead on your feet come tonight if you haven't rested especially if you're visiting Ruadhán."
"I managed to get a little sleep, but you know what I'm like," He chuckled. "I'm glad you slept well though."
"I did, but my back hurts a bit and it probably has something to do with being sat up all night," She told him. "I might unpack when we get to the house and then see if a lie down will help it. You never told me what the house is like, by the way. Is it anything like ours? If it has a slightly larger kitchen then I'll be rather relieved."
He smiled while running a hand along her arm through the sleeve of her cardigan, drawing her closer to him. "As a whole, the house is much larger than ours and actually has better facilities since Ruadhán was always far better off than we were," He admitted. "It has an inside toilet for one, so we won't have to keep going out into the cold each time we need to go. It has the larger kitchen you're after, it has both a master and a guest room and it isn't too far a walk into town. A much shorter trek than the one you and I are used to, I'm telling you."
"Keep talking like that and I may never want to leave." She laughed.
"Well, we…we don't have to," He pointed out. "I could speak to Ruadhán and see if he'll let us buy the place."
She looked at him for a moment before shaking her head with a sigh and draping her arm across his stomach. "It sounds nice, a larger home, but I would never want to leave Inniskeen. I'd never want to leave Aoibheann."
"Honestly? I would have thought she'd be one of the main reasons we stay here." He muttered.
"Ciarán, I don't appreciate her trying to tell me what I should do and how I should feel, but I am not going to turn my back on her for that," She told him. "I have too much to be thankful to her for to ever do that to her. She has been there for me through thick and thin for as long as I can remember and…and she agreed to come and be with me when this wee one decides to make an entrance," She laid a hand on her stomach and gave it a light pat. "I know her and I know she hates to hold a grudge, so do I, so I have no doubt that all of this will have blown over by the time we get home and she and I will be on good terms again. She's my closest friend."
"Not one I truly want for you, but if you trust her then." He gave her a shrug and tightened his hold of her.
"I do," She nodded, settling into his side once more. "I trust her and I trust that everything will be all right…"
"Here we are." He said when they reached the garden gate later that morning.
"Oh, I thought you said you needed to get the key from Ruadhán when we got here." She frowned.
"Yes, uhm…" He replied quickly as he turned to face her, bags in hand. "Well, you see, we're so deep into his land that there's little chance of any intruders. I remember him never being overly cautious about locking the place up when I used to visit him, so perhaps he left the door unlocked the last time he came down to check on things. You go ahead of me and test the door. If it turns out we need the key then I'll, uh, go and fetch it."
She nodded, though she thought it rather stupid to leave such a place unlocked regardless of the location, and moved around her husband to make her way down the garden path to the front door. When she took hold of the doorknob and gave it a turn, the door creaked open and she looked over her shoulder at him with a smile. It was then that he walked down the garden path towards her and they entered the cottage together, the smile on her face vanishing almost immediately at the horrendous state of the place. It was as though no one had set foot in it for ten years! Mould covered the walls, there was dust everywhere and the floors were just disgusting.
"Oh, you would think someone with money would take better care of the place!" She exclaimed.
"I think that's a rather unkind thing to say," He glared at her. "I shouldn't have to remind you the man's ill."
"Ciarán, I'm sorry, but we can't be expected to live like this!"
"Nonsense, all it needs is a bit of a clean and it'll be a grand place for us to stay a while."
He made his way into the kitchen then to put down the cases he was holding and she let her gaze follow him, wrinkling her nose as she looked around her at the mess and shuddering when a spider scuttled across the rug in front of her before tucking itself into a hole in the wall. Running a hand through her curls, she – for some odd reason – made the choice to walk into the lounge and see what she was dealing with and she immediately regretted it. It was no better than the hall with its stained walls, dirty carpet, dead insects in the windows and piles of old newspapers on the table, sofa and chairs. It was truly a sight bad enough to almost make her weep.
If this was what the downstairs looked like, she dreaded to think what sort of state the bedrooms were in and they were going to have to sleep up there that night no matter what choices were made before that time came. Neither of them really had enough money to spend the evening in a hotel and she hadn't a clue where to even begin looking for one. It was something she would have to deal with later, she supposed, but for right now she walked back out of the lounge and into the kitchen to her husband. "I…I'm sorry I was rude about Ruadhán," Was what she said when he turned round to look at her. "I know this isn't his fault, but I wasn't expecting it."
"No, neither was I, not this bad anyway," He shook his head. "I thought he might have had someone coming in to keep the place up to standard, but perhaps he's just been too ill to arrange it or it didn't occur to him to do so. I think we should be able to manage it between us though, so why don't you make a start while I head up there and let him know we're here? I'll sit with him for a while, see to it he has all he needs, and then I'll come home and help where I can. You don't mind doing that for me, my love, do you? I won't go if you do, I can wait until the morning and hope he can manage on his own until then if you need me here to help clean."
"No, you go to him because that's why we came here and he's really the most important thing at this moment in time," She told him, waving his concern away as she took in her surroundings. "I'll start in here since we'll be needing to eat this evening and I refuse to bring food in here, let alone cook with it, until I have this place spotless. I can't see it being a quick task by any means, so you'll likely be home before I'm done and then you could make a start on the lounge for me. Once I'm done in here, I'll go and see to the bedroom and neaten it up a little before taking a walk into town to pick up some of the things we need. I hope that sounds all right."
He took three slow steps towards her before taking her face in his hands, smiling as he allowed his thumbs to run across her cheeks before he stooped to brush a warm kiss against her lips. "It sounds like the perfect plan to me," He said when he pulled away again, his hands falling from her face. "I'll only be there about an hour."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
He stamped a kiss onto her forehead and ran his hands down her arms before turning to leave the kitchen, a deep sigh leaving her when he left the house and shut the door behind him and she glanced around the room. It was spacious, she could say that, but it was no longer as wonderful a thing to her as it had been hours ago. No doubt, it was going to take her hours to get it looking half decent and even then she was going to have to go over it a number of times to bring it up to standard. It just seemed like a lot of work seeing as though they were only going to be living here temporarily, but temporary or not they needed somewhere sanitary to live in.
Merely standing around and complaining about her lot wouldn't help her get the place cleaned up any sooner, she thought, and so she walked over to the broom leaning against the wall and removed the cobwebs in order to get to work. It honestly took longer than she imagined just to get the tiles swept – to brush all the dirt and other things out the back door and into the garden, but in the end she could actually see them and she sighed. Next on the agenda was cleaning the counters and the table, something that was going to be rather challenging since there was only one small bar of soap on the sink, but she had more than learned to make do in her time.
Making her way over to the sink, she was just about to reach for the soap when a certain somebody decided it was the perfect time to let her know they were awake. "Oh, I was starting to wonder when I would be hearing from you," She tutted as she brought a hand to her stomach and brushed her thumb slowly against it through her dress. "I would love to sit and talk to you for a while, my love, but I'm afraid I haven't the time right now because I need to be nearly done with this when your daddy gets home. I apologised for the things I said, but I honestly have no idea how someone could just leave their home to rot like this, it…it's absolutely ridiculous!"
She went on muttering to the baby while she started to clean and it actually helped her to focus and lose track of time, so when she next paused to take a breath she noticed the kitchen was already starting to look cleaner. In all honesty, she would have expected Ciarán to have been home by now because she was certain it had been closer to two hours instead of one, but she couldn't hold that against him. His childhood friend was dying and he wanted to make the most of the time left he had with him, so who was she to begrudge him that? He said he would be back in time to help her clean round before she needed to go into town and she trusted his word.
"Well, I think Mummy should make a start in the lounge while we wait for Daddy," She told her tiny bump, smiling when she felt another flutter as though the baby were agreeing with her choice. "If I can have it done for when he gets back, maybe he can help me with the bedroom and it'll take half the time. He can come into town with me then which will make things so much easier because, between you and me, I still really have no idea where I'm going and I'll no doubt wind up getting lost which wouldn't be the ideal thing, now would it?"
Wandering out of the kitchen and into the lounge, she was once again momentarily taken aback by the horrid state of the room before she shook her head and regained focus. It would be cleaner in no time, much like the kitchen, if she got started with the task at hand and then she would be able to sit and put her feet up for a bit while she waited for her husband to come home and help her sort the bedroom. It would be a lot of work and she was tired enough as it was, but they were a team in everything and she was sure he would pull his weight.
She had no reason to doubt it.
It was taking all she had to remain level headed, but it was becoming more of a challenge by the minute.
Outside, it was pitch black and throwing it down with rain and Ciarán still wasn't home.
He went out six hours ago now, what on earth was he playing at?
Because he failed to keep his promise of only being an hour and coming back to help her clean the house, she had no choice but to do it all on her own – scrub the house from near enough top to bottom – and not only was she worn out and in pain, but she never made it into town. Neither of them would have anything to eat tonight nor in the morning thanks to him and although she knew he had priorities, she would have hoped she would be his top one. It would have taken him little time to walk down to the house and let her know he had to stay later than planned and she would have appreciated it. It would have permitted her to alter her schedule.
Of course, there was always the chance he unintentionally lost track of time while catching up with Ruadhán.
"Oh, stop making excuses for him, woman, he's a grown man." She grumbled, catching herself.
In her heart, she knew that all this stress would be doing her nor her baby the slightest bit of good and so she sat down and took a deep breath. No sooner had she done so, however, did she hear the back door creak open and stood from the sofa before hurrying out of the lounge and into the kitchen. She had no idea what sort of state she was expecting to see him in when she entered, but she could say for a fact that this wasn't it. "You're drunk…" Her voice left her as a broken whisper as she watched him stumble in, closing the door heavily after him. "I…I can't believe you left me here like this to just to go out and get drunk! Did you even see Ruadhán?"
"Mmm," He nodded, smiling as he walked towards her. "I have to say, his grave is looking grand these days."
"Grave…?" She shook her head.
"Oh, didn't I mention? Ru died about…ten years ago now…from diphtheria. Horrible disease, just horrible."
"But you said…"
It was the way he looked at her and the way he chuckled under his breath, pulling out one of the chairs at the table so he could sit, that made it all fall into place and bile rose in her throat. It was all a lie. It was all it had ever been, nothing more. He had no sick friend – not anymore – and this so called 'trip' hadn't a thing to do with him wanting to do a good deed by being there beside him when he breathed his last. It was all fabricated.
"It was underhanded, what you did. Running away to Aoibh's like that and making me nearly get down on my knees and grovel with you to come back to me," He told her. "I'm not sure if you wanted to make a mockery out of me or if you were purely doing it to annoy me, but you succeeded in doing both and I didn't appreciate it. I knew then that I had to be more careful this time. I just couldn't take the risk of you abandoning me and making me do your duties each time we had an argument, so moving all the way out here was the only way I could think of to prevent that from happening again. I didn't want to take such a drastic measure, truly, but…"
"I…I can't believe this…" She trembled. "You can't do this to me. You can't keep me here as your prisoner!"
"No, but I can keep you here as my wife which is what you are," He pointed out. "It was a choice you made."
Resting a hand on her stomach, she forbade the tears in her eyes to fall so as not to give him any satisfaction. "I was nineteen and stupid when I made that choice," She reminded him. "I ignored my parents and all of my friends and I married you because I thought that what I was feeling was love. I had no idea at the time that it was anything but, but when I woke up at long last and saw you for who you really are it was too late! I don't even know if my mum and dad are still alive because you haven't let me write to them since we left Scotland. I don't think they even know if I'm still alive and that truly breaks my heart. You tore my family apart, Ciarán!"
"Again," He rolled his eyes. "A choice you made."
"Aoibheann was right to tell me to be careful," She whimpered, raking a hand through her wild curls in sheer despair. "I bet everything Riordan said yesterday was true, wasn't it? You did threaten her at the public house."
He made a face. "I prefer to think I gave her a strong warning. Not a threat."
"I can't believe I was so stupid…"
"Oh, I can."
He got up from the table and started walking towards her to make his way out of the kitchen, but before he'd the chance to do so she took him by the sleeve and her bottom lip was trembling when he looked at her again.
"I thought…I thought you loved me." She sobbed, unable to hold back any longer.
"Oh…" He reached up to stroke her face. "I thought that was one mistake you would only make once."
Without another word, he left her standing there alone in the kitchen and went upstairs to their bedroom and when she heard him close the door behind him she broke down, stumbling to the table and grabbing it in time to keep herself from collapsing. She pulled out a chair when she felt she had the strength and sat herself down, cradling her head in her hands in a futile attempt to keep the sound of her sobs from echoing up the staircase.
What was she going to do?
It wasn't as though she could leave him because he brought her here, away from everyone she had ever known and loved and trusted, to keep her from doing just that and she hadn't any money for a ticket back home. He said he was keeping her there as his wife when she accused him of keeping her there as his prisoner, but there was no doubt in her mind that she was right. He would treat her worse than ever before now, she knew that for a fact, and the worst thing was knowing she had technically brought this on both herself and her baby.
It was all her fault.
There was no one else to blame…
Author's Note: Thank you so much for taking the time to read! Honestly, Ciaran changed his tune a little earlier than planned originally, but it was the direction my brain decided to go with this and so it happened. I would love to know what you all thought of this one if you have the time and I will see you all very soon.
