"If that's what you wish, I'd be happy to be your maid of honor, Emma."

Regina plastered on one of her forced smiles and looked down at her feet for a split second. If she made eye contact right now, Emma's super power would surely pick up her lie. She hated the Pirate for everything he put her best friend through, for all the wrongful acts of violence and betrayal he'd committed before and during his time in Storybrook, but mostly, she hated him because Emma loved him.

To say she was jealous would be an understatement. Thoughts of justice and vengeance simmered under the surface of her skin. She hadn't felt this strongly for years. Not since the beginning of her initiation into evil. Not since Daniel's demise. She shuddered as she walked away from Emma's house. This feeling scared her. It was a familiar taste of the evil which she had fought so hard to escape and it would be so easy to fall back into old habits.

The day that the filthy pirate had been pulled back into town by Emma was still fresh in Regina's mind. The week he had gone had given her the opportunity to reestablish her relationship with Emma and she had felt a glimmer of hope. The night in the bar with Snow had been so much fun and she'd realised then just how much Emma needed her. How much she needed Emma. She remembered the words she had uttered to the blonde cautiously after one of their heart to hearts. "My happy ending won't be with a man."

Emma had nodded as if she understood but obviously, she hadn't if she was still prepared to marry Hook. Regina wasn't as naive as to think that she would have run into her arms, but she had hoped that the seed she planted would have time to sprout in the savior's mind. Hook came back the following day and as she looked on at the spectacle, her heart sunk. That flower had been clear in its message. Hook was Emma's true love. Emma would travel through realms, to the underworld, just about anywhere for that blasted pirate and it sickened her knowing he didn't deserve it. Emma deserved so much more. Regina hardly recognised her lately. She was a shadow of her former self but whenever they were together, Regina caught a glimpse of the old Emma. Her Emma. Regina had long thought that they would be more than just friends. There was an undeniable force between them but things with Robin and Hook had confused the issue. When the other Robin had returned with them, she realised she'd made a mistake. When it had been just herself and Emma standing in Storybrook's forest, she had seen their future clearly. She realised that Emma was the one who was real, who always saved her and looked out for her best interests. She was about to kiss her when the fake Robin had appeared. Since then, so much had happened and she regretted not having taken the opportunity when it presented itself. Maybe they wouldn't be suffering so much now. Maybe she wouldn't be suffering.

She couldn't catch a break. Just when it looked as though her time was about to come, it was snatched away again by whom other than Snow White! It was a bitter sweet moment. Her new found friendship with her former arch enemy had come back and bitten her where it hurt most and snatched away any chance at love she may have had yet again. Her internal battle raged. The logical, kind side of her psche urged her to be happy for her friends, to relish in the moment and be proud that she had done the right thing. She urged herself to think of Henry. It wasn't enough. The darker side of her mind wanted to take his Hook and rip his heart from his chest with one hand and with the other, break Snow and David's necks. A tear trickled down her cheek at such a wretched act. She thought of how Emma would hate her forever for even thinking such a thing. No, it was better to have her in her life as a friend than nothing at all.

Back in the mansion, alone, Regina poured herself a tall glass of scotch. The fiery liquid burning her throat as she seethed silently and dwelled on the events of the last few days, sinking further into her inner turmoil. She downed the whole thing in one and threw the empty tumbler at the mirror sending shards flying through the air. Picking up the bottle and taking a swig directly from it, she knelt where the shards had fallen and picked up a piece. Catching her broken and tear stained reflection, she slumped down on the floor and muttered to herself, "always the fucking bridesmaid."