Kara woke up with a start, and her fingers clawed at the satin sheets wrapped around her body. Her hands came up to her head and froze when she felt hair that should not be that long. The sheet felt down off her body, and the sudden cold made her freeze.

She was naked.

She was naked in a bed she didn't know in a room she had never been in with hair that had never had time to grow that long and there was a happy feeling in the pit of her stomach she couldn't get a handle on.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Kara frantically pulled the sheet up around her body. She had just accomplished it when the door pushed open. Kara's eyes went wide. "Lee! I… I thought you were dead."

Lee smiled. "That's a nice way to say good morning."


The questions came like wildfire. "What the frak are you doing here? Where the frak am I? What happened?"

Lee laid down on the bed next to where she sat. "This is our room, you live here, and we had one hell of a night, love."

Kara froze. When had Lee ever called her love before? And why the frak did she not feel scared? "This… this is familiar."

"It should be. We've lived here since my first term started."

Memories started flooding her mind. The Cylons attacking and failing. Lee retiring from the military. Kara slowly and surely falling in love with Zak's older brother. Her decision to move down to Picon to be with him. Their marriage. Lee running for President. The celebration party. Moving into this house. Talking about having a family. Falling asleep by Lee's side every night.

This was her life.

Her hand came out to tentatively touch Lee, and it seemed to be the opening he had been waiting for. He pulled her down against him and sighed. "It's a good thing I love you so much, Kara, or this whole selective amnesia thing that comes and goes might get on my nerves."

"Frak off," Kara growled, mostly on instinct.

"What no 'frak me'?"

Memories of the night before suddenly became clear, and Kara blushed. "I think we both know what happens when I use that phrase."

Lee grinned. "And why wouldn't you want that?"

"I'm sore," Kara insisted, burrowing herself closer to him. "And I'm tired."

"This could have all been yours, Kara."

Kara's head shot up. "What?"

Lee was staring at her with a sadness in his eyes that had not been there a few seconds earlier. "You could have had all this if you didn't insist on fraking up what we had."

"Lee?"

"I'm dead, Kara. You killed me. Wake. Up. WAKE UP!"

Kara shot up and looked around frantically. Her bearings came back almost immediately. She was in a transport in the middle of the forest outside New Caprica City. Her eyes fell on a pair of men talking a few yards away. The Chief was back. That was good to know. She might be able to start pretending she's still okay if he's around to take up some of the burden.

Kara's eyes lit up with confusion as she suddenly recognized the man Tyrol was talking to. She started looking around again as she tried to figure out if she was hallucinating. This wasn't like any of the other times. She could swear she was awake.

She pushed the door of the transport open and felt a sense of relief when her feet hit solid ground. She had only taken a few steps before a pair of solid arms were around her, helping her move forward. "Lee?" she gasped, stopping in her tracks. Her hands came out to clutch at him. "You're okay."

Lee's grip tightened on her, and before she knew what was happening, he had her scooped up into her arms. "I'm taking you home, Kara."

Kara smiled at him. "This is a nice one. Just don't start talking about how I killed you this time."

Lee shot a look of confusion at Tyrol, but he just shrugged. "I'll send someone back next week to see what progress you've made, Chief."

Tyrol nodded. He figured this new development with Kara meant the end of his meetings with Lee. The Commander would have his hands full if he wanted to fix whatever had broken inside this irreparably scarred woman.

Lee clutched Kara tightly as he entered the Raptor. She had changed so much in the little time they were apart. He set her down in the co-pilot's chair before punching a few buttons to close the ramp. The pressure from the airlock hissed as it sealed the ship, and Lee finally let himself breathe.

He turned to look at the woman by his side. Tyrol had tried to warn him, but Lee now knew he had had no hope of preparing himself for this. She was broken in every sense of the word. There was a frailty to her body that had never been there before. It matched the frailty he knew was inside of her.

Lee shut his eyes as anger started to choke him inside. Kara did not deserve this. How could these people just let her fall away? Why hadn't they done something to stop this?

The voice of guilt reminded Lee that maybe these people didn't know how. Maybe they didn't know Kara like he did. They wouldn't know that getting her to go one-on-one in the gym usually opened her up to talk about the things she was avoiding. They didn't know that a quiet run through the halls could make her blurt out secrets you didn't even know she was hiding.

Lee knew he never should have let her leave.

He had told her not to, and when she asked him what reason she had to stay, he had choked. His mind was screaming at him to tell her this was her home, that no matter what she did her heart was going to be in the air, that he needed her so much having her leave would rip out half of his heart.

He had said none of those things, and so here he was. Desperately trying to pick up the pieces of his mistake.

"You're going to be okay, Kara," Lee whispered. He turned to the controls and powered up the Raptor. "I'm going to fix this."

The Raptor filled with silence and stayed that way for the hours it took Lee to pilot them back. Kara fell asleep a few times only to wake up with a scream on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes would fly frantically around the Raptor until they landed on Lee. Her face full of confusion, she would make as if she was going to ask a question. Then the moment would pass and she would pull back.

When Lee picked Kara up into his arms, he had no clue what he was intending to do besides bring her back to the Pegasus. There were so many questions he needed to address. Should he tell his father that Kara is back? Would it be safe? How can he command the Pegasus and watch over her? What would the others think when they found out?

The answers still eluded him, but Lee knew he was ready to take the next step. "Pegasus, this is Pegasus Actual returning from my mission."

Hoshi's voice greeted him with its usual youthful exuberance. "Pegasus Actual, the landing tube on the starboard is clear for you."

"Do me a favor and clear the hangar bay." Lee looked over at Kara. She was sleeping again. "My trip had some unexpected twists that I'd like to keep quiet for a little bit."

Hoshi paused for only a moment before agreeing. Lee knew that pause was more out of confusion rather than a lack of loyalty or obedience to his commander. Hoshi was a good man.

Lee hadn't flown a Raptor in months, and it landed in the hangar bay with a resounding clunk. On a normal day, he would be teased for something like that. Today, he figured he deserved it. The one woman he had cared for unconditionally for as long as he'd known her was lost, and the gods had charged him with the mission of figuring out how to bring her back. A man with that kind of pressure deserves to botch a landing or two.

Lee looked out the windshield of the Raptor and, seeing the hangar bay completely deserted, lowered the ramp. Standing up, he slid one arm underneath Kara's knees while the other came around her back. The small motion jolted her awake. Instead of attacking him like Lee though she would do, she latched on tight. "He laughed at me, Lee," she cried softly. "He killed the man I love and then he laughed."

Her eyes pleaded with him, and Lee knew he couldn't ask her what she talking about. Instead, he tightened his arms and scooped her up off the chair. "Shhh," he whispered, leaning his head against hers. "It's okay, Kara. Everything is going to be okay."

"I… I can't figure out what's happening. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. Is he trying to tell me something? Is he trying to save me? Should I be listening? I don't know why he had to die. Why did I have to pick him and lead him to slaughter? I don't know if we ever even had a chance. I was so mean to him for so long, and then I broke his heart. I left him. I let him die." Kara pulled back to look him in the eye. "But then you're not. I saw you die, and then you're not. It's Sam. I know it's Sam, but he doesn't want me to know that. He wants it to be you or your brother. He keeps pushing, pushing, pushing, and I don't know why. I don't know what he wants. I'm so tired, Lee. I don't want to do this anymore, but it won't stop."

"It's going to stop now. He won't be able to get to you anymore."

Kara's admission was a soft whisper. "I'm scared."

Lee bit his lip as the woman in his arms broke down. He had never felt so inadequate in his life.

His pace quickened, and he made it to his quarters in less than thirty seconds. Only a few people noticed, and even then they knew to turn their heads away.

Lee punched in the code to the hatch and slipped into the room that had never felt like home. Kara was watching his face and had been since the end of her outburst of confusion. There was a trust in her eyes that Lee had never seen before. She was always so wary of him, of his ability to make decisions, of the times he chose to make a stand, of every single choice he made.

He set her down on his bed, the one he had been tossing and turning in only a few days earlier. He didn't want to leave her, but there was no choice. He was the Commander of the ship. He had duties and responsibilities. He couldn't just shrug them off because Kara needed him. There were people depending on him. "I'll be right back."

"I…"

"Just rest," Lee whispered, guiding Kara down against the soft mattress. He pulled the covers over her trembling body and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "I'll only be a moment, and then I want you to tell me every single thing that has you worried. We will get to the bottom of this, Kara."

Lee gave her a smile and then walked over to his desk. He need to talk to his father. William Adama deserved to know Kara was safe. He needed to speak with Dee and Helo. The two officers were going to have to pick up the slack that Lee was leaving behind. He couldn't shrug all his duties, but Kara was about to become one of his top priorities.

Kara rolled over to face the wall and leaned her nose into the pillow. It smelled like Lee.

"How does it feel to be the wife of a Colonial champion?"

The kitchen towel in her hand fell to the floor as Kara's eyes went wide. She turned to see her husband casually leaning against the door frame of their kitchen. "Sam!" she screamed as she threw herself into his arms. "You weren't supposed to be back until tonight."


"I called in a few favors. I didn't want to be away from my girl on our anniversary."

Kara rained kisses all over his face. She couldn't believe he was here. The Buccaneers had been playing in the Colonial World Cup over on Gemenon. He was supposed to be millions of miles away.

"Sometimes I'm really sorry you couldn't let it be like this."

Kara pulled back to see Sam's face had fallen from the cool smirk she knew and loved to a look of complete sadness. "What's wrong?"

"You never really loved me, Kara. I've known that for a long time, but I've been selfish. I didn't want to let you go."

Kara's heart dropped out as she felt Sam push her away. "But I love you."

"No, you don't. It's time to stop pretending."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have let him kill me. You would have given your life to save me."

"I…" Kara wanted desperately to tell him he was wrong, to say that she had no clue what he meant. He was alive. He was here before her. They were married. They were happy.

Yet there was a part of her that knew he was right.

Tears staining her vision, Kara reached out for Sam, but somehow she knew she would never be able to touch him again.

Kara sprung up in the bed, and Lee was at her side within seconds. The second her wild eyes settled on his, Lee expected her to fall into his arms. It was what she had been doing since he took her from Tyrol's care.

That's why it hurt so much when she scrambled away from his touch.

"Kara."

"Don't touch me," she hissed.

Lee ignored her and inched over on the bed. "You can't pull away now."

"I said don't fraking touch me," she screamed, lashing out with her fists.

Lee was almost pushed off the end of the bed, but he grabbed her hand and held on. "You need to stop this now, Kara."

Kara's eyes narrowed as she regarded Lee. "My life would have been so much better if you weren't in it." The reaction was immediate. Kara's hands flew up to her mouth as she saw the pain on Lee's face. Her eyes went wide. "Oh gods. I didn't mean that. I… I don't know why… these things happen in my head. I get so confused. There's all this blame and guilt and he won't shut up and I try to claw the words out but they won't go away."

Lee grabbed Kara's hands away from her mouth and gently dragged her to his side. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. This was the only method of comfort he knew would work right now. Kara always responded to his touch even if it wasn't in the way he intended. "You don't need to apologize."

Kara pulled back to look at him. "I've fraked everything up. I tried to be good. I did everything I was supposed to. I tried. I really did, but it didn't work. It's all fraked up."

The smart thing to do was reassure her that she had not fraked anything up, but Lee knew she didn't need him to do the smart thing. She needed him to tell the truth. "It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, we'll fix it." He let out a deep sigh. "You need to get some sleep."

"I don't want to."

"Kara, you don't have to be scared. If you have another nightmare, I'll wake you up."

"You'll watch over me?" Kara asked tentatively.

"If that's what you want."

"You won't leave me?"

"Not unless you kick me out."

"I won't," Kara said. She slid her body down to lay on the bed again. She was waiting for him.

Lee stood up and silently slipped out of his jacket. He paused a second before unbuttoning his pants and leaving them in a pile on the floor. Pushing back the covers, he got onto the bed next to Kara.

The quarters of Pegasus's commander had never been a particularly warm place. Lee liked to think his presence had changed that. His pilots dropped by when they were off shift and not just because they had been ordered to. His crew stopped calling it the quarters of death. He stopped wondering if he was truly supposed to be here.

The only thing it had been missing was the very thing currently in his arms.

"Sometimes it's Zak." Kara's voice was soft, weak, but Lee could feel the emotion driving it. She was struggling to find a way to explain what's going on inside. "It's him I see, and it gives me a relief to know he's there. We're in the middle of hell, but he's there. That means you're not, though. You're not there and Sam's not there and I don't know who's getting shot and it hurts a lot more than reality."

Lee kept himself silent and just listened to her talk. Her voice was vacant, making Lee wonder if she truly knew where she was or who she was talking to. He didn't know how to get a handle on this different Kara. One second, he swore she was the same as before, and then the next she was this broken shard of the woman he had known.

She was talking, though. That was the first opening she had given him.

He stored away the small bits of information she was offering him. During the few minutes before Kara woke up, the Chief had given him a quick description of what they believe happened to Anders. Still, there were things that only Kara knew, Leoben's part in Sam's death being the most noticeable.

Lee's eyes caught on the blood-stained sleeve of her jacket, but he knew now was not the time to ask her. Later he would bandage it up and maybe she would explain. Most likely, she wouldn't. She was still extremely wary of him.

Even though Kara's voice had finally drifted off as sleep took hold and Lee had about a thousand things to do, he couldn't get himself to move from the bed. Her breathing had evened out, and she wasn't thrashing about like when she fell asleep before. Lee knew it was arrogant of him to think, but he really wanted a part of that to be because of him.

A soft knock on his hatch pulled Lee away from his thoughts. Lee waited for the person to realize he wasn't answering, but the knocking persisted. Biting a groan back, Lee disentangled himself from Kara as gently as he could. She barely stirred.

Lee stumbled out into the main office of his quarters and cringed at the light. Rubbing his eyes, he punched in the code to open his hatch. Anger bubbled up inside of him when he saw who was there. If anyone should have known better than to disturb him, it was her.

"Is there a crisis, Dee?" Lee muttered as he tried to get his bearings.

"No, I just thought…" Her voice trailed off as she craned her neck to see into his quarters.

Lee shifted to block her view. "You thought?"

"I thought you'd want to see me, Lee. You took on a lot, going down to New Caprica yourself. Don't you want to talk to someone about it?"

"Did my father speak with you?"