Summary: Kagome moved from Japan to America when she was in seventh grade. She stopped talking in eighth grade, and no one knows why. Now, in eleventh grade, Kagome will undergo a series of events that will dramatically change her...Kagome's POV.
Rated M. Why? Because my mind has many bad things in it and I don't know what I might use...
Dates Written:
May 26th, 2006
Okay, some of this might be bad. I was working on this chapter when I lost all my stuff (because someone stole my thumb drive). So, some of it may be boring, but that's only because I have to repeat it.
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The Games We Play
Entry Eighteen: Tangerine
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Day Eighteen: Wednesday
Ugh. My mouth tastes all funny because of that energy drink stuff. I have had so much of it, I've been able to figure out what it tastes like! The drink tastes like a tangerine. Fucking tangerines! Oh, I hate those things. You know why?
Oh, wait... I promised I would go in order, huh? Well, I'll start off in the morning... I don't want to know what will happen if I don't go in order. It will probably cause havoc on my entire ability to comprehend what happened throughout the day.
So, I woke up this morning. I was pretty tired and I wandered to the kitchen in my t-shirt. Souta left a note on the counter that said he was at work. He loves working at his job, even if it won't be permanent. So, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and began to eat it, staring off into space.
I wandered throughtout Souta's house, taking special care to look at some pictures he had. Honestly, I didn't know my brother was one of those artsy types of people. He usually seems like the kind that you would expect to have the typical bachelor pad. Really cool and party-like, but a complete mess in the day time.
I walked back into my guest room and turned on the lap top. I signed onto messenger through my brother's internet line. As the messenger was signing on, I set up my things in the drawer of the room. I am going to be staying for a while. Might as well move out of my suitcase while I'm at it.
I pulled on a loose pair of jeans and looked back over at the computer screen. Initially, I was just checking for emails, but someone was actually online. While I was attempting to button the jeans, I walked over and began to read who was online. Gee, who would have known that Sesshoumaru skipped school two days in a row? Out of the entire time we've been going to the same school, I have never known him to skip school.
I clumsily reach towards the mouse and open up a conversation window. Here's what we said.
HolyDemon:Wow.Missing two days of school in a row. Aren't you living on the wild side?
Poisoned: Good morning to you too, Ms. Kagome.
HolyDemon: So, why are you not at school?
Poisoned: Rin.
HolyDemon: I see...
Poisoned: What is your brother's name?
HolyDemon: Souta...
Poisoned: And he had the username of 'TouchandDie', correct?
HolyDemon: Yes... What are you getting at?
Poisoned: Nothing, Ms. Kagome... Say, why is your username HolyDemon? I have never truly read it before now.
HolyDemon: Don't think I don't see the obvious subject change. I'll let it slide, though. Only because you are caring for a sick little girl and I would hate to make her guardian suffer as well.
Poisoned: You didn't answer my qusetion.
HolyDemon: Whoops. My username is HolyDemon because I used to have miko powers. That would signify holiness. Then I was raped and I felt like I had gone from being the opposite of holy. That would mean demon...
Poisoned: I see.
HolyDemon: So... Guess what?
Poisoned: I'm not attempting to guess. You tell me and I'll try to pay attention. If I don't respond, it is because Rin is in need of attention.
HolyDemon: By all means, Rin comes before a pathetic woman like me.
HolyDemon: I'm starting to learn to control my miko powers now. Perhaps by the time I get back, I'll be able to defend myself.
Poisoned: Congradulations, Ms. Kagome. Have you told your brother that you are starting to speak once again?
HolyDemon: No.
Poisoned: I see.
HolyDemon: Why do you keep asking about my brother?
Poisoned: I must go. Rin needs to go to the doctors. She's running a high fever and getting sick constantly. Bye.
As I closed the window for the instant messaging, I sighed. Well, that was awfully depressing. I was actually beginning to think that I would have a chance of befriending Sesshoumaru. It's been seemingl ike we're almost friends for a while now. But, now I'm not so sure. I understand that he has a daughter that is ill, but I feel so... neglected.
Of course, that all changed today.
I trained all morning. Then, when I was ready to pass out and never wake up, I finished off the last of the ingredients for the energy drink. After I drank it (no way was I going around without), I went to the new mall and browsed around for the ingredients that were needed for the drink.
I told you that I figured out what this horrible stuff tastes like. You know what it tastes like? A tangering. A fucking bipolar tangerine. Do you know WHY tangerines are bipolar? Because one minute they're really sweet. The next minute, they're so bitter you can't get them out of your mouth fast enough.
Then there are the long-term bipolar tangerines. These are ones that are mainly one flavor. Then you have another one from the exact same tree, and it's on theother side of the taste scale most the time. Tangerines are just fucking bipolar, I tell you!
Because of this, the drink is both addicting and disgusting. It's addicting because the sweet parts are the best in the world. It's disgusting and repulsive because the bitter parts are so damn horrible! I can't believe how sweet it is one moment and how nasty it is the next moment! There's only one thing that can be more bipolar than this tangerine drink! You know who?
Yes. Inuyasha.
So, I drove to the store in the car Souta said I was allowed to drive. I bought all the groceries and was on my way back to the car. I felt a strange feeling on the back of my neck. It felt like my neck hairs were standing on end or something. I was getting really creeped out. Every time I turned around to see who was following me, I saw no one.
Then Andrew appeared right in front of me. My body froze up and I dropped everything I had been carrying. I really need to get over this reflex of freezing whenever I see him. Hell, it doesn't have to be him! Any guy walks up to me and my entire body turns to ice!
Heh. If my body turns to ice and Sesshoumaru is the Lord of Ice...
Oh! Bad Kagome! That was a dirty thought! Don't you ever do that kind of stuff again! You hear me, Kagome! You hear me! Of course you do! I'm in your head and you're talking to yourself! You're insane, Kagome. And, even after you acknowledge the fact that you're talking to yourself, you keep doing it!
Okay. Enough of my issues. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Andrew. I remember now.
My body froze up and I dropped everything I had been holding. I felt the fear filling me up and I knew that a demon would be able to smell it SO easily. Andrew leaned forward and began to whisper things into my ear. Things that were supposed to be sexy and romantic, but they weren't.
I don't know if it's just me, but having a rapist say that you're all his is NOT a turn on. If anything, it makes me never want any kind of carnal pleasure ever again.
As soon as a group of people passed, Andrew jumped to the other side of the emotion scale. He grapsed my hair and pushed me into a nearby alley where no one would find me. Isn't it amazing how dark alleys where no one can find you are abundant during times when people are harming you? One of life's great mysteries...
So, he took me into the alley and pressed my body against the wall. I felt his disgusting erection against my back and my body tensed up even more. Come on, Andrew! You just raped me not that long ago! Why do you have to do it now!
As I was starting to get really upset, my frozen state began to wear off. Apparently, fear is like fire. It manages to melt the ice that my body turns into around men (mainly Andrew).
I brought my elbow back to hit him in the stomach, but he caught it. Then I raised my knee and slammed my foot back against his erection. I'm sure that hurt more than it would have if it weren't hard. Oh. I sound like a tramp or something, don't I? I'll work on that later...
So, Andrew went down for a while. I took my chance to run. Just as I was getting away, I felt a grasp on the back of my shirt. I was going one direction, and the pulling was in the other direction. Needless to say, my shirt ripped off and my bra was the only thing covering my upper body.
Instinctively, I attempted screaming. That didn't work very well. Before I even had a peep out, Andrew had clamped his hand over my mouth and slammed my chest up against the wall again. I bit his hand, but that didn't cause him to release me. No, that only made him angrier at me.
Why is it that when I try to defend myself I only get hurt more? Perhaps I should just give in next time.
I felt tears come into my eyes as I tried to focus on something else. Andrew started getting revenge on me by slamming my head against the brick wall. That hurt and my mind began to wander.
I started thinking of my father. I started thinking of how he and my mother would always get dressed up every Friday and Sunday night. They would go to a movie on Friday, to celebrate that the week was done and that we had managed to get by another week. On Sundays, they would have dinner and make each other promises that they would make enough money to get us by for the coming week.
My mind drifted to thoughts of my mother. She would wear these beautiful dressed that I would admire. She would take her black hair and curl it. Her eyes would seem to hold a loving light in them as she greeted my father. He would wear a tuxedo and they would act as if they were the only people in the world.
Just as a sharp pain came to my forehead (it was slamming against a wall), my mind pulled up an image I have tried my best not to think of in years. My father's body torn up with pieces of the car's metal going through him. The unbuckled seatbelt. His position over me. The piece of metal stopped when it hit his flesh. He had actually saved me...
I let out a slight wimper as something fell down my head. My best guess was blood. A sharp pain filled the side of my face, as if someone was trying to carve out my eye with a knife. I remeber seeing my brother, and I remember him creating an orange light from his hands. Then everything in my memory just... goes black. It doesn't even fade like some people say their memories do. It just... stops. Almost as if a tape in a VCR stops recording for an unknown reason.
I woke up in a hospital bed. Souta was beside me, looking at my laptop. He said that he had nothing else to do while he waited for me to wake up. He had started reading over some of my diary entries. He placed the laptop on my lap and said I could do whatever I wanted with it.
I slowly signed to him my question about my head. I was curious what happened and why my right eye's vision had a fuzzy edge to it. Everything appeared as though it were a dream. Souta said that Andrew almost raped me, but he had gotten there in time. He said that he purified Andrew so it would be painful for Andrew to move for a few hours. He was going to call the police, but Andrew had gotten away faster than most humans would be able to.
He said that the damage was actually minor. I have a small nick in the corner of my eye. I told him that it felt much more severe, and he said that it was only due to it's location. Apparently, having things near your eye and temple will make you distort the size of the cut developing.
I asked about my head being slammed against the wall. He said that nothing happened. I had somehow created a barrier for myself while I was thinking of something else. I didn't tell him that I was thinking of our mother and father going out like they did every night in Japan.
Souta said that he would take me home as soon as I could tell him what happened. So, I motioned to him everything I could remember and he said he would take me home.
As soon as we got home, I went strait to the bedroom. Much to my dismay, Sesshoumaru wasn't online. My best guess is that he was at the doctor's taking care of Rin. After all, she does come first. In fact, no one was online today. It kinda creeped me out. I got offline and pulled off all my clothing. After what happened today, not even baggy pants feel safe.
I can still feel Andrew's body pressed up against mine. It scares me to know that he's after me. What have I done? I will have to ask him the next time he tries this.
If there's a next time.
And if I can speak.
Well, I must be going to bed. All day of being around bipolar tangerines is really getting me tired. I told Souta about my tangerine theory. First I told him that the drink tastes like bipolar tangerines. I told him what makes a tangerine bipolar, and he started laughing.
He has a deep-voiced laugh...
Then I told him that when Andrew first went from pretending to be a lover to being a rapist, I thought he was a tangerine. Souta laughed then said that he loved me a lot. I gave him a questioning look, and he told me that when bad things happen to me, I always fine SOME WAY to laugh at it.
I'm not entirely sure if it's true. I don't really laugh at my unfortunate past. I kinda... Try to pretend it never happened. I know I need to accept it, but there are other things that come first.
And the first one is Andrew. Why does he want me and why was he affected by Souta's purification? Humans usually can't be purified from what I know.
Enough thinking for me. My brain is beginning to hurt. I am going to bed NOW. I will write again tomorrow. And if Andrew comes to touch me... So help me God, I am going to make him wish that he didn't even have anything to rape me with. I'll make sure it's in pain if he attempts it again.
Night, Mr. Diary!
O o O o O o O o O o O
No, this isn't right at all. These feelings are all false. There is no way things can possibly be going right after always going wrong… Things can't go right after going wrong for so long… I can't give into these feelings, no matter how right they feel…
O o O o O o O o O o O
Okay, I'm warning you guys. There may be a time coming up (I don't know how soon) that I might shift out of diary entries. I thought that I should tell you. The incident that is likely to happen will make it really hard for her to write in her diary, so I will switch into normal chapter mode.
But, I'll let you know if I even decide to do that. So far, it's still up in the air.
Review Replies:
- AntiLove006: Love your pen name. Your entire dream sounds like something I would actually do. In fact, if you've read my non-fanfiction stories, I have done that on multiple occasions. Well, except for the underwater part. That was really funny and just made my day. Also made me wake up.
- Veata: How the hell did you know I was going to do that? You're scaring me! In fact, a handful of these reviews had me predicted down to each event that would happen. Stop reading my mind! It's poisoned!
- RedUnicorn: You guessed what would happen WAY more accurately than Veata, even! What the hell did you do? Did you steal my USB Drive and read what I had for this chapter? You did, didn't you?
- Houen-Aishita: Ooh... Your idea with Inuyasha... That's a good one. I'll have to put that to use. Just, don't tell anyone, okay?
- Kitty-foo:Strange pen name... And you commented on how I seem to know exactly how it feels to be raped. Well, I do... See, I've had to deal with that reality myself... I figured that writing exactly what I felt about it would help it seem more real and help me come to grips with it...
- deAth to Ko0Kie: Wow. You finished reading and reviewing at 2:30am? Well, where I am, when I got your review, it was 12:15am. I just finished writing this chapter. You don't know how happy you've made me by that one review. My entire night is brightened (even though it's about to end because I'm about to go to bed). Thank you so much for your kind review. You've really made me happy.
Next Chapter: Babysitting
Reviews Needed: 340
- Lonely Bird
