What if I didn't have you?
By Minako-chan4 Original story and characters by Rumiko Takahashi.

I'm kinda happy I have a project to give in tomorrow and it's done. So now I can just write some more on all of my stories :D isn't that nice? Well anyways here we go. Cya all.

Last chapter:

Inuyasha stared at the face of the woman he loved. She had been lost to him once, but now she was back. Back with him, where she belonged. "Kagome… I love you." Inuyasha kissed her hand and pulled a seat towards the chiffon where they had laid her. He took off his fire rat coat and put it on top of her. And like years before he stayed there, watching over her in her sleep, guarding her from any harm that might befall her.

His mind rested for the first time in hundreds of years. As he drifted off to sleep he wondered if he'd be able to live with her happily ever after, once all this was finished. But happily ever after only happens in fairy tales… or does it?

CHAPTER 3 "Facing the past"

He looked intently at her. She was beautiful, strong, powerful… and ruthless. Everything he had molded her to be. And he was now immensely drawn towards her. Even when his other side had been drawn to one other woman, this dark and vibrant creature had called to his demon side.

He was marveled by that ebony haired woman… intrigued too. With the training she had received since birth, there was no one, perhaps even him that could stand against her. She had surpassed her teacher now. And he would soon use it to his advantage. This woman could never be trusted completely though. She still had a mind of her own… however if coaxed by him a little, she would obey. She could be a loyal ally… and perhaps if convinced in the future a loyal mate. The thought of having her as his queen was so very appealing.

The dark man was brought back from his reverie by a banging on the door. He glared at it, who would dare bother him like this? "Come in."

In came a very agitated Kagura and an impassive Kana. "My lord they have her! They have Kagome!"

Naraku stared out the window and gave a sinister smile. "What are you talking about?" He turned to his servant.

Kana stepped forward. "She came out of the well, with the missing pieces of the Shikkon no Tama."

The demon's eyes grew in realization. So that is where the pieces went… A frown deepened in his features and he could not avoid feeling some rage grow within him. He had been deceived… and he needed to deal with the person that had fooled him. "Bring Kikyo to me."

Kagura and Kanna bowed in acknowledgment and left the room.

What that woman had planned was probably not convenient for him. He had accepted her because of her wish for revenge against her once beloved hanyou… but he would not tolerate deceit. It only meant that she had some sort of scheme in her mind. And, if so, it was not a good sign. "No, definitely not good …"

She was cold and alone. That much she knew; the room was very dark and she could not distinguish anything. She couldn't remember what had happened to her, it was all blurry. Kagome felt a presence to her right and turned. There she saw Inuyasha; she smiled.

"Inuyasha, you're here. I was afraid that I was alone." Inuyasha just stood there.

"Damn it Kagome. You're such a wimp, show some backbone! You know? That's just it! That's why I know Kikyo is better than you. You're not strong, you're not dependable, and to top it all off you're quite useless in battle. Don't ever get near me again, or you might just regret it."

His eyes flashed red and soon Inuyasha had turned from her and walked away. Did he hate her that much? She wasn't that useless, was she? She could find the shards…" Inuyasha wait! I swear I'll grow stronger! Don't leave!" But her cries were unheard; he was disappearing. She started running after him but it was to no avail. She was alone.

She crouched on the ground and sobbed. A cold voice behind her whispered. "You can be stronger Kagome. So much stronger if you are willing to train."

Could she? She recalled Inuyasha's glare and could only cry her eyes out because of that new void in her chest.

Some whimpering woke him up. Kagome was stirring in her sleep and had a sad look on her face. He went to her and spoke comforting words; the girl calmed down, but was still restless. Inuyasha put his hand on her forehead and frowned. She had a slight fever.

He turned towards a small bowl with water and a towel. He wriggled out the excess water and put it to her forehead. It was worrying him to no end, Kagome's metabolism was still fighting against the poison. And it pained him so much to see her suffering. The other times he recalled seeing her like that had made his heart break in two… it still hadn't changed.

Back then he hadn't realized how much she meant to him. He had convinced himself that he was only with her because of the Shikkon no Tama. He wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, not even himself, that he was content to have someone by his side again… Her positive and cheerful attitude had seemed to attract people… people who had become his friends. She had saved him. She had saved him from the darkness which had enveloped him in the Goshinboku tree; she had saved him from loneliness and despair.

And he had appreciated it, that's why whenever she was in trouble he would go after her. It wasn't a conscious thought of course, it was something in the back of his mind that demanded of him that he protect her. He had not been willing to loose the only being that had accepted him for who he was… True Kikyo had loved him once and he had loved her. But Kikyo had been a little bit too happy with the idea of him turning into a human. Kagome had always liked him as a hanyou.

And when she had disappeared about 500 years ago, he had gone crazy looking for her. First he had tried to look for her in her own time, only to discover the well wasn't working. That's when he had started to freak out. He tried using his heightened senses to track her down, but it disappeared near the well.

In a clearing not far he had found what looked like shreds of her bag and uniform; pieces of her bow lying on the floor.

His heart had stopped, he still remembered how he felt. A horrible anguish and worry for her safety. Despair then because he couldn't seem to find her. The Shikkon no Tama had stopped being important. He was going to find her.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months and finally the months into a whole year with no trace of her.

Shippo, Sango and Miroku gave up, they accepted with heavy hearts that she was gone… probably dead… The shreds from her bag and uniform could be from a struggle she had had with a youkai. It might explain why her scent disappeared… they shuddered at the though… but she might have been eaten.

None the less he had been stubborn, he had refused to believe it, so he left to keep looking for any inkling of her. He had blamed himself; they had fought the day she disappeared and she had left in anger. He couldn't remember over what, probably a stupid little thing like they always quarreled about. However he could recall that it had been something he had done… in general when they fought it was because of things he did… He had called her names, had put down all her efforts as if they were meaningless…

Then one night, Kikyo had come to him. Confusion had crept up within him afterwards, he hadn't cared that she had come by, but why? Too late he realized it was because Kagome was all he cared about.

FLASH BACK

There he stood quiet and uncaring, right in front of her. His spirit seemed dimmed down, but she thought it would eventually come back to normal. It was the perfect moment to take him with her. "Inuyasha."

"Kikyo… What are you doing here?"

The dead priestess neared him and took his hand. "Come with me. Forget everything."

He stared right back at her eyes, but the only thing he could see was the vision of two brown cheerful eyes. "I…I can't."

Her eyes hardened. "Why not? She's gone isn't she? She left you, most certainly dead and will never come back. Even if she had been taken away like you might think, she couldn't have survived one year on her own. Give it up, she was too weak anyways to put up any kind of fight."

"NO! That's not true! Kagome would have fought! She said she wanted to be with me, she would have done everything. She's not dead!"

"Really? Then how come she isn't by your side? Forget her. She's of no consequence now. You owe me, I gave my life for you. It's time to come with me. Does that not count?"

He stopped dead in his tracks… Kikyo… I do owe her her life… He felt his heart fall into pieces at the loneliness in her eyes. She had died and he had lived. He loved her… didn't he? He turned his eyes to Kikyo, but he did not see her. It was Kagome's smiling face. He smiled back. Kagome had risked her life for him too, several times actually. Didn't he owe her too?

"Don't try to lure him in with your tricks Kikyo!"

Both turned. And Inuyasha was once again surprised. My friends…

Sango had her Hiraikotsu ready to strike and Miroku had his hand prepared just in case he needed his Kazaana. "Don't try and fool him! You chose your path! He did nothing to you and therefore owes you nothing!"

"Sa-Sango.." He turned to look at all of them. Miroku, Shippo, Kirara and Sango.

"What do you mean that he doesn't owe me? He is supposed to come with me! He loves me!"

"Inuyasha, Kagome-sama wouldn't have wanted you to throw away your life like that."

The white haired Hanyou turned to his friend the Monk. "Ho-how long have you been following me?"

"Agh! Just like you. Running off without telling us. And then falling for her! Kagome was much more valuable than her!"

"Shut up Kitsune! That copy was nothing compared to me! That's why Inuyasha can't forget me! Because he sees me in her!"

See her in… Kagome? The white haired hanyou turned to the woman who had once held his heart. Did I ever see Kikyo in Kagome? Is that the reason why I… why I… care about Kagome? He was pulled out of his reverie when Kikyo took hold of his arm.

"Come with me Inuyasha. She's not here anymore, it's just you and me. Now you can forget her. It was all just a dream."

"But it wasn't. She was gentle, kind and caring… She cared for all of us… Would have given her life for any of us too… I can't be at peace knowing she might still be out there… hurt and alone… Besides I have still to kill Naraku! He was the one who made us go through all we went through! I can't die yet, at least not yet."

Her stare hardened and she let go of Inuyasha. "Fine if that is what you've decided. But listen to me. I will never again ask you nicely to come with me. You WILL join me in hell, like it or not." And with those last words she turned her heel and left them there.

END OF FLASHBACK

And since then he hadn't seen her. Kikyo had disappeared out of his life, and he hadn't heard from her since. It was as if the earth had swallowed her whole. He had only thought of her twice or thrice since that day long ago. It wasn't that he didn't care for her at all. She'd just become… less important? Yes, less important. All that he cared for had been Kagome. For two years his friends had been patient with him. They had all searched for her, thinking it would give him time to accept the truth.

During those two years of fruitless search, they had killed youkai and helped restless souls. The only reason he accepted stopping to help was because Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kirara and Kaede had made him realize that Kagome would have still wanted him to help others in need; like they had when she was there with them. He had found in it some sort of comfort and a timeless connection to her memory, a way of not forgetting her.

Finally they convinced him to continue looking for the Shikkon no Kakera, and of course it became a harder task because she was not there to help locate them. All of them had eventually spoken of their memories of her. He found that his friends had given him the strength to continue without her. In just one more year he grew closer to them and realized that they would always be with him.

None the less the disturbing image of Kagome hurt or alone in a strange place haunted him at nights, and since then he had not been able to sleep -not that he slept that much all the time. Inuyasha soon grew weary and tired, so eventually they decided that it was time for a break. Kaede's was the best place to relax, or so they thought.

One evening, while he sat staring at the sun, a whiff of an upsetting scent caught up to him. Kouga… He hadn't known, but the wolf had been searching for Kagome on his own account too. Like many others he finally gave up and gave into the idea that she was dead.

When he arrived he had demanded a fight; he wanted to "spill his guts" as he put it. Kouga had been less than gentle. He had screamed hurtful accusations, words that tore his soul little by little. And his upsetting thoughts caught up to him. Inuyasha found he had little strength to fight back or argue… he believed Kouga's words so he let his rival hit him and throw him about.

Everyone had eventually arrived though; they'd all heard the screams. Everyone, including Kaede went to protect him. When Kouga saw that Inuyasha didn't even react, his assault had stopped. 'I can't believe you didn't protect her! You really are useless. She's dead and because of you!' The words were spoken, and the wolf prince had left right after.

Those words cut him deep. 'Had she really died?' he wondered. Those two years he'd told himself that she was still alive… but that afternoon his confidence had swayed… two years were really a long time… And he had not found any trace of her.

Even with his whole body exhausted he had given into the despair bottled up inside him. He had started crying and when he could stand it no more he'd screamed off the top of his lungs, 'NO! KAGOME'S NOT DEAD AND I WILL PROVE IT! SHE CAN'T BE DEAD!'

His friends watched him, with great sorrow, how he broke down in front of them. They all thought that she was dead… but did he?… Now that he recalled that moment, a small part of him had accepted that thought. He had just dropped to the floor and had started crying. "No… she can't be… she wouldn't… I never told her… I didn't know… Kagome…"

As Inuyasha stared at her now he gave a small sad smile. He gingerly touched her right cheek. Hope and faith renewed in one night… now that she was back with him it's what she gave him… He'd lost a huge part of his heart, but now the empty space was full again.

He had lived, one painful day after another for his friends. His friends and those people, Kagome and he could have saved and helped together. It wasn't easy… but he had had to… Whenever he was about to give up, they reminded him how he still had much more to do. Miroku had told him that perhaps… if he was patient enough… 500 years from their time, he could meet her again.

"Four hundred and eighty four years I waited Kagome… when I thought I had you back… I lost you again. It doesn't matter anymore… Five hundred years now and I finally have you here. The past is behind us…" Seriousness overtook his face. "I will protect you this time Kagome, no one will take you away from me."

Out in the hallway people waited. They were anxious and Kouga had to keep them at bay until he was sure Inuyasha was ready. He heard his cue when he stood from the chair walked to the door. He stood in front of it waiting for him to open up. Soon Inuyasha's face popped out and he smiled at his companions. "Are you sure you all want to see her? She's not awake yet you know."

"Are you KIDDING ME Inuyasha? I've waited as long as you to see her and as her friend I have the right!"

He smirked at the exterminator, she still had that fire in her. She was a good ally, friend and companion. They'd both turned to each other when they'd been in too much pain. And he knew just how anxious she was to see Kagome. "Fine but she hasn't changed and you have you old hag. So don't expect her to recognize you when she wakes."

"Old hag? Look's who's talking gramps!" She walked pass him into the room.

Inuyasha smiled and saw the one other youkai there besides Kouga. "Ready to see your "mom" kit?"

"Just let me pass… pops."

He stepped to the side and saw them both stare in awe and wonder to the creature lying on the couch. That was probably his face when he'd seen her again. "Don't wake her just yet. She was poisoned and needs rest."

"How did it happen?"

Kouga spoke up this time. "Apparently, Sango, she came though the well. Luckily Sesshomaru and Rin were around and sensed her or she might have died and we would have never found out she had even been here."

Shippo looked at her. She was just as he remembered, even that student sailor uniform was the same… somewhat ripped at parts, but distinguishable. Could it possibly be her though? It could still be a trap… He extended his hand to touch her face, but pulled it back as if she were fire.

Inuyasha knew Shippo might be doubtful. But it surely was Kagome. If Sesshomaru had seen her come through the well the way she had, and she had part of the Shikkon no Tama, then there was no question about it. "You're not gonna get burned Shippo. She's real, bones, skin and all."

The grown up kitsune stood up and looked at both Kouga and Inuyasha. "How did she get here though? Where was she all this time? Why now of all times? Why not before?"

"Hey calm down, we don't have all the answers. I already told you guys all that we know. Sesshomaru and Rin found her and brought her here."

Sango smiled as she looked at her friend. "Then there will be lots of questioning when she wakes."

"I don't want anything to upset her. We stick to asking her how she got here in the first place. If she came though the well, it's possible she doesn't know what happened to the city… I don't want to stress her more than necessary."

"Always worrying for her Inuyasha." Sango patted his shoulder. "It's sooo cute to see you like this. None the less when she sees how we've all changed, she'll still wonder about it. I agree we need her part of the story first. But don't be upset if she doesn't believe it's us right away."

Sango left the room with Shippo following her. "By the way. The southern part of the city finally fell. We were able to get everyone out, but it still means we're loosing territory."

"Alright… We'll talk about it later." He heard the door close behind him and just as it did he took his previous place next to Kagome.

Shippo's questions were founded, Kouga knew. And he too felt curious, more curious he was though of how Inuyasha would behave and approach this new development. "Do you not wonder if it's all a trap? Even if she's her, don't you think it's odd that she disappeared back then and then reappeared again now? There could be a bigger scheme behind this."

Inuyasha kept looking at her. "It doesn't matter… we'll find out sooner or later. I have her back now… and it's all that matters anymore."

Kouga's frown did not go unnoticed by his Lord. But Inuyasha really didn't care for any of it, he had regained her and for now he could just be the hanyou Inuyasha in love with Kagome, not the lonely strong leader of clans that he was now. All he wanted was to enjoy Kagome's presence… Even if just for a little while… before the storm broke.

Ok so I know this is shorter than what I usually write, but I really wanted to put something up. And as I was writing it, it felt like a good spot to stop. But anyways hehehe wondering how Sango's still alive? You'll have to read the next chapter to find out. I like letting things go slowly so don't expect me to spill all the beans right away ;P. I'll hurry up and write the next chapter. Cya all!

Minako-chan